Breaking News: Bill O'Reilly announces that black people are almost the same as regular people!
No, really, it's true! O'Reilly inadvertently came into contact with real live black people on two separate occasions recently and was very pleasantly surprised by what he discovered.
While eating in a Harlem restaurant often patronized by African Americans, he was astounded to find that the diners were very polite and ate their food just like normal people.
And not only that, but he also attended an Anita Baker concert and "couldn't get over the fact" that the blacks in the audience were not shooting each other, smoking crack, or covering the concert hall with graffiti.
O'Reilly: "I've seen the occasional black person around the Fox News studios but now that I've actually come into close contact with large numbers of them and actually met some, I have realized they are not the strange, exotic creatures I imagined. They are pretty much like other people and I have to say I think they're fabulous!"
Well, that's just heartwarming.
(As with all my posts, the quotes are fake, though based on real events. I realize O'Reilly's comments are probably a publicity stunt but it could also be possible that he lives on another planet. You be the judge.)