tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-208902422024-03-13T15:04:10.672-07:00eric three thousandThe next generation in fine Eric products.eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.comBlogger405125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-48010832140226903692023-12-26T12:24:00.000-08:002023-12-26T12:24:42.372-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg10kHaT0o7ZDivNOoMXDAkETqsAG-a2SiBrOyNlOIValduzeOwml66vvMWxtFxTeuI4srmns1fVIeTZbpVUhg0RWbhPEnt9RADTJ0xVu_enFhyphenhyphenr9AIyrbwaZj0zZuN2laBZRYDVURyEhZiyGXqr_KV9QqwuMaZJ8-3mdC3spTTV4CuuHldDvn/s666/2023-12-26_12-12-14.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="666" data-original-width="548" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg10kHaT0o7ZDivNOoMXDAkETqsAG-a2SiBrOyNlOIValduzeOwml66vvMWxtFxTeuI4srmns1fVIeTZbpVUhg0RWbhPEnt9RADTJ0xVu_enFhyphenhyphenr9AIyrbwaZj0zZuN2laBZRYDVURyEhZiyGXqr_KV9QqwuMaZJ8-3mdC3spTTV4CuuHldDvn/s320/2023-12-26_12-12-14.png"/></a></div>Recent photo of Allan (professionally, he had to change his name to Alan in 1991 in order to join SAG-AFTRA)<br><br><b>Eric’s Holiday Letter, December 2023</b> <br><br>Dear friends and family, <br><br>I am pleased to
announce that, after months of tense negotiations, Eric’s Holiday Letter LLC has
recently reached an agreement with our striking writers and we can finally get
back to work producing Eric’s Holiday Letter, Eric’s Holiday Letter On Tape,
Eric’s Holiday Letter podcast, Eric’s Holiday Letter Live from Lincoln Center,
and Eric’s Holiday Letter On Ice. <br><br>Unfortunately, because Eric’s Holiday Letter
takes over a year to produce, the release date for the 2023 Holiday Letter has
been pushed back to summer 2024. While we wait for that, I’ve asked the A.I.
chatbot ChatGPT to write a holiday letter for me. I prompted it to write a
holiday letter about the process of writing a holiday letter, to write it in the
style of the Barbie Movie, and to make sure to mention buying stamps, because I
know everyone looks forward to reading about buying stamps every year. <br><br>The bad
news is the results are actually kind of cute, which is terrifying. The good
news is it is clearly not the real thing and I think we will continue to need
real human writers for the foreseeable future. After the foreseeable future, of
course, the robots are definitely going to take over and make humans
unnecessary, but that’s a problem for another day. So, without further ado
(except for a shout-out to Allan, whom Barbie forgets to mention in her list of
friends), here is Eric’s Holiday Letter as written by artificial intelligence
from the point of view of Barbie (exactly as generated by ChatGPT, with no
edits. Really!): <br><br><i>Dear Friends and Family, <br><br>Oh, hi there! It's your favorite doll,
Barbie! I hope this letter finds you wrapped in joy and surrounded by love this
holiday season. Can you believe it's that time of year again? Time to dust off
the tinsel, untangle the lights, and, of course, write the annual holiday
letter! <br><br>Picture this: I'm sitting in my dream house, sipping on a hot cocoa
(well, as close to sipping as a doll can get), surrounded by twinkling lights
and festive decorations. The holiday spirit is in the air, and I'm feeling all
kinds of merry and bright. <br><br>Now, let me tell you, writing this letter is quite
the adventure! It's a little like planning the perfect Dreamhouse party – it
takes creativity, flair, and a touch of sparkle. First things first, I grab my
glitter pen – because everything is better with a little sparkle, right? Then, I
carefully choose the perfect stationery. It has to be as fabulous as my latest
fashion finds! <br><br>Next comes the highlight of the letter: recounting the fantastic
adventures of the year. From jet-setting to exotic locations (in the Dreamhouse,
of course) to fashion shows and charity events, it's been a whirlwind of glamour
and excitement. I even convinced Ken to join me for a dance-off – let's just say
his moves are a work in progress, but we had a blast! <br><br>Oh, and let's not forget
about my amazing friends – Skipper, Stacie, Chelsea, and all the others. We've
had countless laugh-out-loud moments and unforgettable bonding times. It's all
about creating memories that last a lifetime! <br><br>But writing a holiday letter isn't
just about reliving the glamorous moments. It's also a time to express gratitude
and spread love. I take a moment to reflect on the special people in my life –
that includes all of you! Your love and support mean the world to me, and I'm
truly grateful to have such fantastic friends and family. <br><br>Now, here's a little
real-world twist to the holiday letter adventure. In order to send this letter
on its way to you, I had to venture out into the real world to buy stamps! Yes,
even Barbie has to deal with post office lines and decide between cute
holiday-themed stamps or classic ones. It's all part of the holiday magic,
right? <br><br>As I wrap up this letter, I'm sending you all the warmest wishes for a
holiday season filled with joy, laughter, and, of course, a touch of sparkle.
May your days be as bright as my Dreamhouse on Christmas morning! <br><br>With love and
holiday cheer, <br><br>Barbie 💖</i>
eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-27393024028694553862022-12-25T21:38:00.000-08:002023-12-26T12:28:28.867-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqvcy89WrkiaKmUavJwh2leMpbM8E8ghEp6Ji6RQxfh-VOU8zvB4K1xDHfSMuQJ_2udCLdqOVMZCH286aLhnzv3J5N98vJWlLob6C_xXJbKvJUlI_eb0sZd2A31ii3Yv4limWl30mZ7uKKE9CzaK4RQEWLuXJe6HpuM2Mp85RiZrne4WXTzA/s705/2022-12-25_21-30-44.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="320" data-original-height="574" data-original-width="705" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqvcy89WrkiaKmUavJwh2leMpbM8E8ghEp6Ji6RQxfh-VOU8zvB4K1xDHfSMuQJ_2udCLdqOVMZCH286aLhnzv3J5N98vJWlLob6C_xXJbKvJUlI_eb0sZd2A31ii3Yv4limWl30mZ7uKKE9CzaK4RQEWLuXJe6HpuM2Mp85RiZrne4WXTzA/s320/2022-12-25_21-30-44.jpg"/></a></div>Recent photo of the Twitter bird<br><br>
<b>Eric’s Holiday Letter, December 2022</b><br><br>
Dear friends, family, and advertisers,<br><br>
As I’m sure you have heard, Eric’s Holiday Letter LLC was recently purchased by Elon Musk for 44 billion dollars. I know. It seems like a lot of money. I asked if he was sure he didn’t mean 44 million. But, no, the offer was 44 billion. With the rising cost of crudités, I kind of had to say yes.<br><br>
I can see the appeal. This letter goes out to dozens of people every year. But it’s not as profitable as you might think. Elon must have realized this because the deal almost fell through at one point. He made the claim that I was vastly overreporting the number of recipients who actually read my letter and underreporting the number who find it too long and silly. But I proudly stand by my reported metrics: over ten percent of recipients read my letters and almost five percent enjoy them! Any claim otherwise is baseless. I had to go to court, but Elon eventually followed through with the purchase under the original terms.<br><br>
The day Elon took over, the first thing he did was fire me. The second thing he did was rehire me because he realized I was the only employee and I had the mailing list and the stamps. He then sent out the following email to all the employees (again, it’s just me):
Going forward, to build a breakthrough Eric’s Holiday Letter 2.0 and succeed in an increasingly competitive world of holiday letters, we will need to be extremely hardcore. This will mean working long hours at high intensity. Only exceptional performance will constitute a passing grade.<br><br>
If you are sure that you want to be part of the new Eric’s Holiday Letter, please click yes on the link below. Anyone who has not done so by 5pm ET tomorrow will receive three months of severance. <br><br>
Whatever decision you make, thank you for your efforts to make Eric’s Holiday Letter successful.<br><br>
I clicked yes. Here are some of the changes coming to Eric’s Holiday Letter:<br><br>
1) I now have to pay $8 a year to get the blue check mark that my readers count on to ensure authenticity.<br><br>
2) I will retain editorial control and have complete freedom of speech, as long as I never criticize Elon Musk.<br><br>
3) My letters must now be 280 characters in length. (Note: the 280 characters may be repeated an unlimited number of times.)<br><br>
4) I can no longer squeeze the Charmin.<br><br>
5) There will be no more telecommuting. I must now go into the Eric’s Holiday Letter headquarters to write this letter. When I explained to Elon that the Eric’s Holiday Letter headquarters are actually located in my home, he got angry and used some words I can’t print here.<br><br>
6) The public relations department at Eric’s Holiday Letter has been eliminated.<br><br>
7) I must be willing to work at least once a year. This is part of the new “hardcore culture” at Eric’s Holiday Letter.<br><br>
8) Eric’s Holiday Letter will have to fully move its operations to Mars by 2050 at the latest. <br><br>
9) I have been encouraged to wear adult diapers while writing this letter. Apparently, my insistence on taking bathroom breaks every eight hours was deemed excessive.<br><br>
10) I am not allowed to form a union.<br><br>
11) In the near future, Eric’s Holiday Letter will have the ability to write itself when in autopilot mode.<br><br>
12) I am no longer allowed to write my letter in the form of lists, which is a lazy way to fill space.<br><br>
In closing, I am sharing the following letter (slightly edited) from Elon Musk to the advertisers:<br><br>
Dear Eric’s Holiday Letter Advertisers,<br><br>
I wanted to reach out personally to share my motivation in acquiring Eric’s Holiday Letter. There has been much speculation about why I bought Eric’s Holiday Letter and what I think about advertising. Most of it has been wrong.<br><br>
The reason I acquired Eric’s Holiday Letter is because it is important to the future of civilization to have a common written town square, where a wide range of beliefs can be debated in a healthy manner, without resorting to violence. <br><br>
In the relentless pursuit of readers, many traditional holiday letters have focused on personal events and important milestones of the previous year, as they believe that is what brings in the money. But Eric’s Holiday Letter stands apart by providing no useful information at all.<br><br>
That is why I bought Eric’s Holiday Letter. I didn't do it because it would be easy. I didn't do it to make more money. I did it to try to help humanity, whom I love. And I do so with humility, recognizing that failure in pursuing this goal, despite our best efforts, is a very real possibility.<br><br>
That said, Eric’s Holiday Letter obviously cannot become a free-for-all, where anything can be said with no consequences! In addition to adhering to the laws of the land, our letter must be warm and welcoming to all, where you can choose your desired experience according to your preferences, just as you can choose, for example, to see movies or play video games ranging from all ages to mature.<br><br>
I also very much believe that advertising, when done right, can delight, entertain, and inform you; it can show you a service or product or medical treatment that you never knew existed, but is right for you. For this to be true, it is essential to show readers of Eric’s Holiday Letter advertising that is as relevant as possible to their needs. Low relevancy ads are spam, but highly relevant ads are actually content!<br><br>
Fundamentally, Eric’s Holiday Letter aspires to be the most respected advertising platform in the world that strengthens your brand and grows your enterprise. To everyone who has partnered with us, I thank you. Let us build something extraordinary together! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!<br><br>
Love,<br><br>
Eric and Elon
eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-49133001225188880072021-12-31T15:48:00.001-08:002023-03-20T09:49:22.767-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhh7VjvIdkf3tiKCEGOFt3oB1pcX-Xc95eIAB9Yc-m5ft3dpuwdNLYeIDEefl2T-XbAsRwLRJctIGt_C4uz55952c66LrRAiUkfzRzanoDMropi9UsBve5HBfl4xA8fnf-nNd6omHC2i6IckWD3-_X_7VFvHS_c-9db0qHlhfjiUVVvxs3wFg=s428" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="428" data-original-width="423" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhh7VjvIdkf3tiKCEGOFt3oB1pcX-Xc95eIAB9Yc-m5ft3dpuwdNLYeIDEefl2T-XbAsRwLRJctIGt_C4uz55952c66LrRAiUkfzRzanoDMropi9UsBve5HBfl4xA8fnf-nNd6omHC2i6IckWD3-_X_7VFvHS_c-9db0qHlhfjiUVVvxs3wFg=s320"/></a></div>
Eric’s Holiday Letter, December 2021<br><br>
Dear friends and family,<br><br>
What a year. I feel like I fell out of the lucky tree, hit every branch on the way down, and ended up in a pool of cash and Sour Patch Kids. After my recent success writing a local American holiday letter, I was invited this year to edit an English Premier League letter in London called KFC Twickenham. I originally assumed, as you probably did, that KFC stood for Kentucky Fried Chicken, but it doesn’t. It stands for Keepers of Festive Christmas letters, which, now that I think about it, makes more sense.<br><br>
I started the year leading the staff remotely via Zoom, but over the summer we started a hybrid work plan. I would work from home in Burbank, California, on Mondays and Wednesdays and commute to London, England, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I always used to complain about my commute here in Los Angeles, but, let me tell you, commuting from Los Angeles to London is somehow even worse! I’m glad the letter-writing season is over.<br><br>
It was not always smooth sailing. When I first started editing the letter, my writers did not immediately accept me. They complained that I used Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary instead of the Oxford English Dictionary and said I didn’t belong there. But I gradually won them over with my relentless positivity. And cookies. I handed out cookies. Honestly, I just bought shortbread cookies at Marks & Spencer and repackaged them. They were perfectly fine. But, for some reason, people went crazy for them, shoveling them into their mouths like they hadn’t eaten anything in a month. I don’t know what that was about.<br><br>
It took more than relentless positivity and cookies, though, to win them over. It also took charm. This mainly involved insulting their tea. The British love that. When I was asked “how do you take your tea?” I would say, “Well, I usually take it right over to the sink and pour it down the drain because tea is horrible garbage water.” Charm.<br><br>
I had several challenges to overcome. My star writer, Jimmy Torte, refused to share writing credit with the rest of the team. The gruff but loveable copy editor, Ray York, was a longtime veteran of holiday letters, but he was having a little trouble keeping up with the younger writers. His elbows just weren’t up to the grueling writing schedule anymore. My newest recruit, Tony Velas, seemed like a breath of fresh air, with his constant refrain of “Metaphors are life!” But then he suffered from a severe case of writer’s block known as the yaps. And, as if that weren’t enough, I had to find a new sponsor for my letter, because my previous sponsor, Exoskeleton Oil, was polluting the ocean. Finding the right sponsor meant attending a lot of branding meetings. I always feel so bad for the cows, but you have to do it, otherwise they get lost.<br><br>
I don’t blame my writers or the fans for doubting me. There really are differences between holiday letters in the US and UK. For example, in the US you put a holiday letter in an envelope, but in the UK you put it in the boot. In the US you write holiday letters in an office, but in the UK they are written in a lift. And lifts can be different sizes! Letters in the US always end in a win or a loss, but in the UK a letter can also end in a tie! I kept forgetting that! But the most important thing to know is that in the UK the Premier League letters don’t necessarily stay in the Premier League. If the letter isn’t good enough, it can be relegated to a less significant holiday. Instead of writing for Christmas, you might get stuck writing a Summer Bank Holiday letter. It’s humiliating.<br><br>
And that brings me to the biggest shocker of the holiday season. It turns out my boss, Susanna, didn’t hire me because she thought I was the best editor. She hired me because she thought I would fail and the letter would suffer relegation. I know, right? Who would intentionally sabotage a holiday letter? Well, it turns out this holiday letter was the only thing her former business partner ever cared about and she wanted to destroy it in an act of revenge. She set up a newspaper interview for me, knowing that I would make a fool of myself. I fell for her plan and agreed to the interview. So I met the reporter at a restaurant and ordered the wrong thing, as I always do. But a funny thing happened. The reporter, Trevor Grims of The Independent, ended up writing a positive piece about me:<br><br>
TREVOR GRIMS: “Trevor Grims, The Independent.”<br><br>
Yes, we know. I just said that.<br><br>
TREVOR GRIMS: “Right. Sorry. Whatever you think of Eric as a writer of holiday letters, I assure you the truth is harder to swallow. And swallow you must, because Eric is out there either bravely or stupidly writing this letter. That’s for you to decide. And yes, he’s in over his head. He started writing this letter and now has no idea how to end it. But if the Eric way is wrong, it’s hard to imagine being right. In a letter that’s supposed to be about the holidays, Eric makes everything about himself. His style is never subtle. It hits you over the head. Whether that means referencing twelve hours of television that may mean nothing to many people or eating food so spicy it’s sure to wreak massive havoc on his intestinal system. And though I believe this letter will be a disaster, I can’t help but root for him.”<br><br>
OK, well, the part about the spicy food was maybe a little more detail than we needed, but other than that, I think those kind words were just what we needed to get through this letter. Writing this letter this year has been a real rollercoaster. After a bad start to the year and losing the Valentine’s Day letter to Crystal Palace, things looked like they were going well in the spring, when we wrote a better Easter letter than Everton for the first time in 60 years. By summer, though, we weren’t making as much progress as we’d hoped, with a string of ties so long that it threatened to tie the record for the most ties, which is currently a tie. Then, at the end of the season, just when we thought our defenses were strong enough to save us from relegation, we were hit with a series of surprise trick plays, including the Midnight Hyperbole, Loki’s Euphemism, and the Omicron Variant. But we aren’t going to give up. We have work to do. Next year we’re going to come back from relegation, get promoted back to the Premier League, and then we’re going to win the whole darn thing!<br><br>
TONY VELAS: “Metaphors are life!”<br><br>
That’s right, Tony! It’s good to have you back! In the letter industry, the term “bend it” means to put a twist on the story, as in “bend it like O. Henry.” So I’m going to end with this:<br><br>
You know what the happiest animal on earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? Ten second memory. When a goldfish experiences disappointment, it immediately forgets about it. And doesn’t learn anything. And then eats so much it explodes. Don’t be a goldfish.
But do have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!<br><br>
Love,<br><br>
Eric
eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-60932185936951896342020-12-31T11:37:00.001-08:002023-03-20T09:49:42.897-07:00<p> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWvup6iWOJkiERwHX4db0bllWSGY6NiFSZFBDMvAamPbOT1jdoepe9FMnMUAkoePCMc8KuyvyhVO_J26xGZVnPZFvIWEyiuYNFLN9zpbowkvrRmHfGRLuAHdXGw8Jt-MS-1gJn/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="146" data-original-width="345" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWvup6iWOJkiERwHX4db0bllWSGY6NiFSZFBDMvAamPbOT1jdoepe9FMnMUAkoePCMc8KuyvyhVO_J26xGZVnPZFvIWEyiuYNFLN9zpbowkvrRmHfGRLuAHdXGw8Jt-MS-1gJn/" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Recent photo of those damn bears who refuse to shit in the woods</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Eric’s Holiday Letter 2020<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dear friends and family,<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In these unusual times, at least there is one thing we can
count on: we still have to sit through advertisements for Viking River Cruises
every week on PBS, even though we can’t go on Viking River Cruises. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m sure many of you were wondering if it would be possible
to produce Eric’s Holiday Letter during a global pandemic. Well, thanks to millions
of dollars in federal grants and small business loans, the answer is yes.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I am pleased to tell you I have not had to lay off any of
the medieval monks who hand transcribe each copy of my letter that is sent out.
I never paid them anyway, but I do provide room and board.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have been working closely with city and county officials
to create a clear set of guidelines for producing and reading this letter.
These guidelines will vary depending on your location, so please consult your
own local officials before reading.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">First, the most important thing is to make sure you
thoroughly disinfect the outside of the envelope before you open and read this
letter. I recommend using a solution of 70% alcohol and 40% bleach. Don’t worry
that it adds up to more than 100%. Math has been cancelled this year.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Next, make sure you wash your hands. I’ll wait.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That was not twenty seconds. Try again.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">OK, good. You should read this letter outdoors and at a
distance of at least six feet. Use binoculars if you need to. Please don’t read
this letter in person to a large group of strangers. Read it to members of your
own household, whether they want you to or not. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The stamps and return address labels used for this letter
are self-adhesive. The envelopes were sealed using a damp sponge. I did not
lick any part of this letter, even though I wanted to.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In order to get through the reading of this letter safely, California
has developed a simple roadmap to recovery that uses color-coded tiers. Once
you meet certain benchmarks, you may move into a less restrictive tier. If you
fail to meet those benchmarks, you may be forced back into a more restrictive
tier.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The colors California has chosen for the tiers don’t have
immediate associations for most people, such as red, yellow, and green. We try
to be a little more creative here on the Left Coast. So, for those of you not
living in California, I thought I would share our color-coded tier system with
you:<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Cerulean</b>: This is
either the first tier or the last tier, depending on which direction you are
facing. It really does make a big difference, so try to face in the right
direction.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Classic Blue</b>:
Pantone color of the year for 2020 is Classic Blue, intended to promote calm
reflection, which perfectly captures the essence of the past year. In this tier
everyone must watch <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tiger King</i> and
then regret it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Teal</b>: Nobody
knows exactly what this tier means, but we’re pretty sure it’s not good.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Dusty Rose</b>: In
this tier you should avoid elective surgery. In the next tier, though, you can
get surgery just for fun!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Salmon</b>: Is this
the darker orange color of raw salmon or the lighter pink color of cooked
salmon? You will be stuck in this tier until you figure it out.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Medium Gray</b>: If
you print out the California tier system on a black-and-white printer, every
tier will be this tier. In this tier you must stand by your door 24 hours a day
waiting for Amazon packages.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Burnt Umber</b>: Don’t
ask.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Midnight Pink</b>:
This is the tier in which pink becomes so dark that it is not actually pink
anymore and should really be renamed. In this tier you are allowed to eat at
outdoor dining venues and get a tattoo. But you have to do both.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Corduroy</b>: This
isn’t even a color so you don’t need to do anything special in this tier.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Lemon</b>: This is
basically yellow. In this tier you should still be able to buy toilet paper but
it won’t be a brand of toilet paper you would ever want to use. You will buy it
anyway and stick it in the back of your garage with the thought that you will
only use it if you exhaust all other options, such as using actual sandpaper.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Lime</b>: This tier
is kind of a light green. OK, so remember that emergency toilet paper in the
back of your garage? You’re going to have to use it now.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Lymon</b>: This tier
is the portmanteau of lemon and lime that was coined for the soft drink Sprite.
Sprite is completely clear, so that is the color of this tier. In this tier you
are advised to just forget that toilet paper was a thing that existed. Have you
ever used a bidet? It’s pretty nice.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Fire Engine Beige</b>:
Imagine if fire trucks were beige instead of red; well, that’s the exact shade
of beige that this tier is. In this tier you are allowed to shower and put on
pants. In fact, you have been allowed to do that in every tier. You know that,
right?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Frequently Asked Questions:<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q</b>: Wouldn’t
it make more sense to use numbers for the tiers, instead of random colors? <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A</b>: Yes, that would make more sense.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q</b>:
When will there be a widely available vaccine to protect us from getting these
holiday letters? <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A</b>: Sadly, even when
a vaccine becomes available, it may not provide permanent immunity, meaning you
will probably get another letter next year.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q</b>:
When this is all over, will I be able to play the piano? <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A</b>: Could you play the piano before? <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q</b>: No. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A</b>: Then you will
still not be able to play the piano.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q</b>:
What should I do with this letter? <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A</b>:
For the sake of humanity, the CDC has recommended that you destroy this letter.
Just like every year.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Stay safe and wear a mask! Happy Holidays! Wishing you all
the best for 2021!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Love,<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Eric<o:p></o:p></p>eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-43211583808565335292020-01-01T16:57:00.000-08:002023-03-20T09:50:17.216-07:00<br />
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</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDtODOgfCrLjBsR5vHcZBjgrWvh5pj4nc99s4PqkzTF00tI4nnqp6cTdEuHoX5o3PdF6hvxhm5b-i1Fk-Y0WVEk7o_RB2UnVhthxqoSVsIhqCBYidWZhtwKUlXg9x0QuvfMgGQ/s1600/2019-12-11_10-29-03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="812" data-original-width="698" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDtODOgfCrLjBsR5vHcZBjgrWvh5pj4nc99s4PqkzTF00tI4nnqp6cTdEuHoX5o3PdF6hvxhm5b-i1Fk-Y0WVEk7o_RB2UnVhthxqoSVsIhqCBYidWZhtwKUlXg9x0QuvfMgGQ/s320/2019-12-11_10-29-03.jpg" width="275" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Recent Photo of Judge William Stoughton</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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</div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">CHRISTMAS GREETINGS FROM SALEM TOWN, MASSACHUSETTS BAY COLONY, 1692<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .3in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Dear
friends and family, I would like to wish you a good Christmas. Please indulge
my preference for using the word “good.” Merriment can sometimes imply partying
or tipsiness and wishing people a drunken Christmas is considered just a tiny
bit incredibly blasphemous here in 17<sup>th</sup>-century New England. I
almost went with “happy” but that means good luck or good fortune and I was
afraid I might be jailed for the promotion of gambling. You can’t be too
careful these days. Well, what a year. Witch hunts, am I right? They seem to be
getting out of control. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">I
heard that the witch hunt started earlier this year when some young girls were
caught dancing around in the woods. I think we can all agree that this was
dangerous behavior. It is well understood in the alchemical community that
dancing around is a gateway body movement that can lead to ballet or even
worse. But come on, people! This is 1692! We should be able to find a way to
appropriately punish people for dancing without completely destroying the colony
in the process!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Now it
seems like wherever I go someone points at me and screams that they can see the
devil whispering in my ear and I’m like, What? That’s terrifying! I don’t see
anything! I’m starting to think they are just making it up. And why are people
always asking me to name all the other witches? So, just because I’m a witch
and another person is a witch, we must know each other? That’s offensive. Also,
I did not put any spells on your livestock. If your cows are hovering a few
inches off the ground or your chickens are composing poetry, it has nothing to
do with me. I understand it’s annoying. Some chicken poetry is, frankly, not
very good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">This
summer we entered into a new phase of the witch hunts. A new royal governor,
William Phips, was appointed by the co-rulers of England, King William and
Queen Mary. Phips arrived from England in July and met with Lt. Governor
William Stoughton, a colonial land developer and reality star turned judge and politician.
Stoughton became famous as the owner of the Miss Colonies competition and a
series of trials called “The Apprent-Witch,” in which he would end every trial
with his favorite catchphrase “You’re guilty!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">I
became aware of the transcript for the meeting between Stoughton and Phips. I
believe the transcript demonstrates undue pressure on the newly appointed
representative of the English crown to announce phony investigations in order
to further Stoughton’s own personal interest in prosecuting witches at the
expense of the common good. I decided to become a whistleblower, despite the Puritan
sumptuary laws that list whistles as unnecessary luxury items, along with lace
and buttons.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">MEMORANDUM OF A PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL CONVERSATION BETWEEN SIR WILLIAM STOUGHTON
AND NEWLY APPOINTED GOVERNOR WILLIAM PHIPS<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">William Stoughton</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">: Wow, can you believe this witch hunt?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Governor Phips</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
Your witch hunt has been very impressive. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Stoughton</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">: IT’S
THE SINGLE GREATEST WITCH HUNT IN AMERICAN HISTORY! <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Governor Phips</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
Yes, it’s awesome.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Stoughton</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
By the way, congratulations on England’s Glorious Revolution of 1689. We all
watched from the colonies and you did a terrific job. The way they came from
behind, and then William and Mary ended up winning the monarchy easily. It’s a
fantastic achievement. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Governor Phips</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
You are absolutely right. William and Mary did win big. I’m able to tell you
the following: the first time we overthrew King Charles you wrote to
congratulate me and then when we overthrew King James you are now
congratulating me again. I think we should overthrow more kings so you can keep
congratulating me and we can talk more often. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Stoughton</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
[laughter] That’s a very good idea. I think England is very happy about that.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Governor Phips</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
Well, yes, to tell you the truth, we are trying to work hard because we wanted
to drain the swamp in England. We brought in new monarchs. Not the old
monarchs, not the typical monarchs, where we only had one at a time. No, now we
have two co-ruling monarchs at the same time, because we want to have a new
format and a new type of government. And the Massachusetts Bay Colony is very
important to the crown.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Stoughton</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
Well, it’s very nice of you to say that. I will say that we do a lot for
England. We spend a lot of effort and a lot of time hunting witches. Much more
than the other colonies. Virginia does almost nothing as far as witches. When I
was speaking to the governor of Virginia, he talks about witches, but he
doesn’t do anything. A lot of the colonies are the same way but the
Massachusetts Bay Colony has been very good for England as far as hunting
witches. I wouldn’t say that it’s reciprocal necessarily because things are
happening that are not good but the Massachusetts Bay Colony has been very very
good to England. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Governor Phips</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
Yes, you are absolutely right. Not only 100%, but actually 1000%. And I am
ready to continue to cooperate with you on the next steps in the prosecution of
the witches. That is why I commissioned a Special Court of Oyer and Terminer to
handle the large number of accused witches. But, here’s the thing: you are a
wealthy real estate developer in the colony and I just arrived from England as
the newly appointed royal governor, so I really need your strong support or I
won’t be able to stand up to our adversaries. And I’m really relying on defense
spending for Maine, which has been invaded by the French.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Stoughton</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">: I would like you to do us a favor, though. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Governor Phips</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
Does it have to do with witches?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Stoughton</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">: Absolutely.
I would like you to find out what happened with a ship called The Crowdstrike. They
say there is a secret chest full of letters and the chest was sent on The
Crowdstrike to England. There are a lot of things that went on, the whole
situation. It has to do with the Clintons, as most things do. I am of course
referring to Lawrence and Rachel (née Haffield) Clinton. Rachel Clinton was
accused of witchcraft in March in the neighboring town of Ipswich. Clinton holds no public office, but I am still completely
obsessed with her and want to lock her up. It is vitally important that Clinton’s
missing letters be found. I would like to have Rev. Cotton Mather talk to you
and I would like you to get to the bottom of it. Cotton Mather is a highly
respected minister from Boston who literally wrote the book on witchcraft. He
is the major figure pushing the theory that the devil can only take your form
with your permission. Mather very much knows what’s happening with the witches
and he is a very capable guy. If you could speak to him that would be great.
The accused witch--the woman--was bad news and the other witches she was
dealing with in Salem were bad news so I just want to let you know that. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Governor Phips</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
In regards to the witch named Clinton, it was great that you were the first one
who told me that she was bad because I agree with you 100%. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Stoughton</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
Well, she’s going to go through some things. I will have Cotton Mather contact
you and we will get to the bottom of it. I’m sure you will figure it out. The
other thing: there’s a lot of talk about Cotton Mather’s father, Rev. Increase
Mather. The father has been publishing a lot of FAKE NEWS about how spectral
evidence should not be used to convict witches. A lot of people want to find
out about that so whatever you can do would be great. The father is going
around bragging that he can stop the witch prosecutions and that would be bad
for me, so if you could announce an investigation into him, it would really
help me out.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Governor Phips</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
Okay. Maybe we can meet again in Boston hopefully. We can either take my ship or
we can take your ship, which is probably much better than mine.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Stoughton</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
Sure, we can work that out. I look forward to seeing you maybe in Boston and I
will have Cotton Mather contact you.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="BodyA" style="margin-left: .3in; text-indent: -.3in;">
<u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Governor Phips</span></u><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">:
Thank you very much. Merry Christmas. Bye-bye.</span><span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-23153534743501079272018-12-26T21:30:00.000-08:002023-03-20T09:50:36.108-07:00Christmas 2018<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1"><b><i>Eric testified Thursday in front of the Senate Correspondence Committee about accusations of forgery leveled against him by the late Peggy Schuyler, sister-in-law to the famed politician and rap sensation Alexander Hamilton. The following is the transcript of Eric’s opening statement, as prepared by The New York Times:</i></b></span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7Apple-tab-span"></span></span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">Mr. Chairman, readers of my holiday letters, and members of the Senate Correspondence Committee, thank you for allowing me to make my statement. I wrote it all by myself yesterday afternoon and evening. Nobody helped me. Nobody has seen it, other than Amy and Julie and Laura and Karen and Susie and Maura and Megan and Nicki. The list goes on. Yes, I was drunk when I wrote it. I like beer.</span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7Apple-tab-span"> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">Last year, after I sent a holiday letter purportedly written by Peggy Schuyler in 1773, I was publicly accused of forging the letter. I denied the allegation immediately, categorically, and unequivocally. Most of the people who read the letter said they don’t recall that it was a holiday letter. In fact, many said under penalty of felony that they do not even know me! And that includes Amy and Julie and Laura and Karen and Susie and Maura and Megan and Nicki. The list goes on. Think about that fact.</span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7Apple-tab-span"> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">The day after the allegation appeared, I told this committee that I wanted to write another holiday letter as soon as possible to clear my name. I demanded that Christmas be held again the very next day! Unfortunately, it took an ENTIRE YEAR before we could have another Christmas. In that very long year, as was predictable and as I predicted, my name has been totally and permanently destroyed by vicious and false additional accusations. The year-long delay has been harmful to me, to holiday letters in general, and to the country.</span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7Apple-tab-span"> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">I have been accused not just of forgery, but also of plagiarism! It’s been suggested that my holiday letters are nothing more than stolen movie scripts, song lyrics, or transcripts from Senate hearings that have only minor changes. These reckless accusations have ruined my reputation. I will now never have the opportunity to pilot a Boeing 747 or coach women’s basketball, two things I might have enjoyed. Now I’ll never know. It’s so unfair.</span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">Interestingly, nobody ever mentions all the authors who I <i>haven’t</i> plagiarized. And there are many of them! To my knowledge, I have never stolen the work of Tennessee Williams. OK, that was a shorter list than I thought it would be, but I’ve made my point.</span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7Apple-tab-span"> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">Since I wrote my last holiday letter, there’s been a frenzy to come up with something--anything--to block me from writing another one. One recipient said he would “oppose me with everything he’s got.” Another reader said, “Eric’s holiday letter is your worst nightmare and will threaten the lives of millions of Americans for decades to come.” That’s probably an exaggeration.</span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">And then, as no doubt was expected, if not planned, came a long series of false last-minute smears designed to drive me out of the letter-writing process. This whole effort has been revenge on behalf of the Clintons, who have never forgiven me for that time I attended a fundraiser and stole a decorative soap from their powder room. This is a circus! Yes, I drank beer with my friends. Almost everyone did. Sometimes I had too many beers. I liked beer. I still like beer. But I did not drink beer to the point of blacking out and forging letters.</span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s3"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">If every American who drinks beer and writes letters that are supposed to be by someone else is suddenly presumed guilty of forgery, we’ll be in an ugly new place in this country. </span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p2" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">I am an optimistic guy. I always try to be on the sunrise side of the mountain. But today, I have to say that I fear for the future of holiday letters. Allegations of forgery must always be taken seriously. At the same time, the person who is the subject of the allegations also deserves to be heard. Due process is the foundation of holiday letters.</span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">I’m not questioning that Ms. Schuyler may have had a letter forged by some person in some place at some time. But I have never forged a letter by her or anyone. That’s not who I am; it is not who I was. I intend no ill will to Peggy Schuyler or the Schuyler sisters.</span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7Apple-tab-span"> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">First, Peggy Schuyler’s allegation stems from a forgery that is alleged to have occurred in December of 2017, when I was only fifty years old. Just a child, really.</span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">Second, Peggy Schuyler and I did not travel in the same social circles. It’s possible we met at some point at some event, although I do not recall that. In fact, it is very unlikely that we ever met at all, because she died in 1801. To repeat, the very person whose letter I am accused of forging has not confirmed any of this because she is dead. These allegations are uncorroborated. Further, nobody mentioned in the letter has come forward to support the accusation. This includes Alexander Hamilton and King George III, who are both also dead. Coincidence?</span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7Apple-tab-span"> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">Third, I have submitted to this committee detailed calendars recording my activities in December 2017. Let me explain to you the very special way I use calendars. Sometimes I write something down in a calendar to remind me to do that thing on a specific date in the future. But--here’s the exciting part--I can also look at a date from the past and see if I wrote down something for that date. If I did, it could offer a clue about something I did on that day. I know. I’m a genius, right?</span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">So, the forgery described by Ms. Schuyler presumably happened on a weekend because that is when I do my forgeries. Well, if it did happen on a weekend, my calendars show that I was too busy to have forged any letters. Especially such a high-quality and hilarious letter as the one I am being accused of writing. My calendar shows that I was busy almost every weekend night in December. I spent one weekend night at a small holiday gathering at Becky’s house with Matt, Denise, Lori, and Jenny. Their names are all listed on my calendar, which is not weird at all. All we did at that gathering was sit around and talk and drink a few hundred beers and forge letters. So let me emphasize this point: if the forgery described by Ms. Schuyler happened in December of 2017 on a weekend night, my calendar shows all but definitively I could not have done it.</span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7Apple-tab-span"> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">The committee also has a letter that I forged from 65 writers who knew me last year. They said I always plagiarized them with dignity and respect. One of those writers, Gertrude Stein, sent me a text last night that read, “Deep breaths, you’re a good man, a good man.” A text I received yesterday from Jane Austen read: “Eric, be strong. Pulling for you to my core.”</span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">Or read the op-ed Eleanor Roosevelt wrote about me in 1936: “Eric was an advocate for young women like me. He encouraged me to take on more responsibility and to feel confident in my role. Eric gave me the opportunity to help with the preparation and review of the president’s remarks, something I never would have had the chance to do if he had not included me.” Wow. Powerful words from Eleanor Roosevelt.</span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1"> </span><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s2"><span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7Apple-tab-span"> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7p1" style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="yiv0898342133ydp34f1b1c7s1">As I said in my opening statement the last time I was with you: Cherish your friends, look out for your friends, lift up your friends, love your friends. And that includes Amy and Julie and Laura and Karen and Susie and Maura and Megan and Nicki. The list goes on. I wish all my friends and family a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!</span></div>
eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-67142670802145343262018-01-02T12:12:00.000-08:002023-03-20T09:50:53.552-07:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">[Happy New Year! This year Eric3000, Certified Archivist, presents a long-lost manuscript recently discovered in the church archives of Our Lady of Perpetual Deregulation. Enjoy!]</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The Schuyler Sisters’ Holiday Letter 1773</span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Dearest friends and neighbours,</span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I embrace this opportunity to
enquire as to your health and happiness and, if it should amuse you,
communicate a few sentiments to you as well as inform you of some of the events
of the past year. This year ‘tis I, Peggy Schuyler, who shall endeavour to
write on behalf of the Schuyler Sisters and I pray you do not protest this
imposition or take offense at my musings.</span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">First, I should be obliged to you
for humouring me as I recount the events that granted me the liberty of a free
afternoon to place quill to vellum. My sisters, Angelica and Elizabeth, have
gone downtown in search of a “mind at work.” Yes, that is apparently a thing
that people do now. They have been embarking on these expeditions for well-nigh
a fortnight. I expect they think it sounds better than “flirting with sailors,”
but we all know what they are up to. I had actually gone after them this
morning and they were all astonishment when they saw me. They asked how it was
that I should be there. I told them that I had taken the 405 to the 101 to
Laurel Canyon and then taken Sunset to Vermont. They stared in disbelief and
then said, “Dear sister, you were a fool not to have taken San Vicente.” I had to
explain that I was making a small joke. I reminded them about the pantomime
troupe that performs skits on Saturday nights in what will become Rockefeller
Centre. They do a skit called “The Californians,” which pokes fun at the
Spanish for constantly complaining about all the donkey traffic when traveling
about the pueblo of Los Angeles. As usual, nobody knew what I was talking
about. </span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Anyway, I expressed that their imprudent
excursions were causing a perturbation of my spirits, to which Angelica hastily
responded, “You are free to go.” So I was like, “whatever.” I told them,
“Sisters, if you wish to see me gone, I shall avail myself of the opportunity
to write a holiday letter.” They graciously informed me that Michealmas was
long past. I said that they knew full well I was referring to the holidays that
occur at the end of the calendar year, such as Christmas, Chanukah, New Year’s,
and Saint Wiggin’s Day. They said anything that would get me to leave them in
peace would be to their satisfaction and that I could write the letter and then
they would sign their names to it when they returned home. Oy, with those
two. </span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Before I took my leave, Elizabeth
reminded me of the need to procure stamps. I told her stamps had not yet been
invented. She asked why there was a Stamp Act if there were no stamps. I tried
to explain that it had to do with taxes and she said, “Oh, yes, just like when
the king put the tax on tea, causing the revolt in Boston.” I told her that was
a common misperception but that parliament had actually refunded an import tax
on British tea in order to make it competitive with smuggled Dutch tea and that
was a vexation to the smugglers. So the Boston Tea Party was really in response
to reducing taxes, not raising them. I supposed she would find that amusing,
but instead she told me, “Peggy, you ruin everything.”</span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Speaking of which, can you
believe George III is still the king? What a nincompoop. He is no better than a
common mountebank. An acquaintance actually said to me once, “Well, he had to
have done something right if he became king.” I told the person that King
George inherited that title and it had nothing to do with his accomplishments.
The only thing he knows how to do is colonize a country, slap his name on it,
and then run it into the ground. Everything seems to have the royal warrant on
it: King George steaks, the Province of Georgia, which is actually not all bad,
and, of course, King George University, which is an utter sham! The lessons are
just sales pitches to get you to buy a timeshare in the territory of Florida,
whatever that means.</span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Well, other than the constant duels,
life has been pretty good. I confess to being a little weary of everyone
breaking into song all the time, though. ‘Tis like a def poetry slam every time
one walks down the street. Rhymes be the hottest commodity at the moment and
‘tis making fortunes and ruining lives. People have invested their entire life
savings in a word and when the rhymes run out, they have been known to jump off
a building. Fortunately, our tallest buildings are two stories high and our
streets are paved with only the highest quality horse manure, which breaks the
fall. But I still wonder when this madness will end. The other day, there was
panic and chaos when it appeared that there were no more rhymes for the word
“sir.” Experts said it would be worse than the tulip mania of the 1630s or the
South Sea bubble of 1720. But then, out of nowhere, Mr. Burr, whose name
coincidentally rhymes with “sir,” realized that the word “bursar” would work.
We held a parade in his honour.</span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">And Mr. Burr is not the only
politician to be speculating in rhymes. I am not at present able to think of
another more agreeable than Mr. Hamilton, who has mad rhyming skills and a face
straight out of a ten pound promissory note. Elizabeth formed a particular
attachment to him and it is now commonly believed they have an understanding.
Correction: in the time it took to write that sentence, they became engaged and
were wed. Events are full of expediency here. Angelica gave the toast at the
wedding and sang a song about how she was secretly in love with our sister’s
new husband and that she had actually let her have him. Then she asked, “Oh,
did I just sing that out loud?” You can imagine my vexation. I have not the
least doubt as to our lack of wanting for all the silliness of a Mozart
operetta.</span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Our compliments to you and yours,
&c., &c.,</span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Your devoted and faithful
friends,</span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "palace script mt"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Angelica and Elizabeth Schuyler </span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">(and peggy)</span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-6133382053137556492017-01-02T13:04:00.001-08:002023-03-20T09:51:12.492-07:00<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCqLqUg-20LMwIPG4GgVEhJae7yusHAi7RmB-XOfCPqd8TaSLetCPv14MCjyI6PWu0EkGOp9QPT-H7oqtJ5hyiiLt1jx07MFC_4Oz_o1WVq4n9V-OmqxNScnIymAlTiqDOGfqs/s1600/IMG_5004+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCqLqUg-20LMwIPG4GgVEhJae7yusHAi7RmB-XOfCPqd8TaSLetCPv14MCjyI6PWu0EkGOp9QPT-H7oqtJ5hyiiLt1jx07MFC_4Oz_o1WVq4n9V-OmqxNScnIymAlTiqDOGfqs/s320/IMG_5004+%25282%2529.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eric playing the theremin</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Making Eric’s Holiday
Letters Great Again! 2016<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Let’s be real, folks. Eric’s Holiday Letters have been a
complete disaster. Sad. Pathetic. But I’m here to tell you I’m going to make
them great again! They are going to be amazing! Huge! And I’m the best person
to do this because I have the best words. Also, I have the best holiday spirit.
And if you disagree, I will take you to court and you will be sorry. Believe
me. Let me tell you my plan:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But first, let me just answer the most common question I get
about these holiday letters. A lot of people ask me – and these are tremendous people,
by the way – they ask, “Eric, how can you even type these letters with your
tiny, tiny hands?” Well, let me just assure you that my hands are a perfectly
normal size. I can reach all the keys on the keyboard, if you know what I mean.
So don’t worry about that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Now on to my plan to make these letters great again. And can
I just say how amazing you all are? You are the best people in the world. And
I’m not afraid to say it. Unlike those other people. You know who I’m talking
about. The ones who ask, “Why would anyone read this? It’s not even a real
letter. Eric is just writing it to get attention. He has no idea what he’s
doing. In fact, he’s dangerously incompetent. We’re terrified.” Don’t listen to
those people. They’re losers. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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You know, many people are saying that the Dutch are receiving
all our best holiday letters now. Many people are saying that. We are getting
killed on this, folks. The Dutch are killing us. Kill. Ing. Us. And what do we
get in return? Cheese. Really good cheese. But that’s not the point. The point
is I’m bringing these letters back.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Specifics? You want specifics? I’ll give you specifics. I’ll
be so specific your head will spin. The first thing I’m going to do is order
stamps. That’s right. I’m just going to do it right away. That’s how I get
things done. By just doing them. And you know what? I don’t just order stamps;
I order <i>extra</i> stamps. More than I
actually need. But here’s the best part: I don’t throw away those extra stamps.
No, I use them to mail bills the rest of the year. It’s so simple. See, this is
what holiday letters need: someone who isn’t afraid to shake things up. I’m not
being braggadocious. I’m just telling you I’m the best.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So, if I send out these holiday letters – and I really hope
I do, but if I don’t it isn’t my fault – I’m going to have my stamps ready on
day one. Envelopes? No, that’s the old way of doing things. I’m eliminating
envelopes and replacing them with something amazing. I’ll be releasing the
details soon. I’m going to keep you in suspense. But believe me, you’ll love
it. You’ll wonder why nobody did it before.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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OK, remember when I said I didn’t need envelopes? Well, I
never said that. Obviously, I need envelopes. Whoever said I don’t need
envelopes is not very smart. Well, don’t worry. I’m going to fix this mess
someone got us into. I’m getting envelopes. I know. It’s an amazing idea.
You’re welcome.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Wait, so this is actually happening? I’m really sending out
these holiday letters? Are you sure it’s not a mistake? I know I talked about
it, but I didn’t really think it would happen. OK, I can do this. I know more
about sending letters than the Postmaster General. Believe me. Yes, of course I
have return-address labels! I have the best return address labels in the world!
(Note to self: look into this return-address-label issue.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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So, let me just tell you with all sincerity – and I can
produce a statement from my personal physician attesting to the fact that I am
the most sincere person who has ever lived – that I am wishing you all the
happiest of holidays! Many people are saying this is the greatest holiday
letter they have ever read!<o:p></o:p></div>
eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-17301661325367630632015-12-27T16:55:00.001-08:002020-04-17T12:36:38.164-07:00<div class="p1" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">ERIC’S HOLIDAY LETTER 2015</span></div>
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<span class="s1">TERMS AND CONDITIONS</span></div>
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<span class="s1">By reading Eric’s Holiday Letter 2015 you agree to all terms and conditions contained herein.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Eric’s Holiday Letter 2015 is a registered trademark of Eric’s Holiday Letters Omnimedia and may not be copied, distributed, re-typed, spell-checked, faxed, sent by pneumatic tube, or adapted to a feature length film unless you feel like doing any of those things, in which case it’s fine.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">DEFINITIONS: </span></div>
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<span class="s1">“Eric’s Holiday Letter 2015” refers to the document you are currently reading. “You” refers to the recipient of said document.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">MISCELLANEOUS:</span></div>
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<li>No animals were harmed in the writing of Eric’s Holiday Letter 2015, though one spider was forcibly removed from the premises. He knows why.</li>
<li>Eric’s plaid shirts supplied by J.Crew. Eric has a lot a plaid shirts from J.Crew. Some would say too many. He might have a problem.</li>
<li>All events depicted in Eric’s Holiday Letters are fictitious. Any resemblance between Eric’s life and reality is pretty unlikely. The names of people and places in Eric’s Holiday Letters have been kept the same. The names of people in the Federal Witness Protection Program have been changed, though I don’t see what that has to do with anything.</li>
<li>It is unlawful under any circumstances to read this letter in the Principality of Liechtenstein after 10:00 PM on Sundays. Exceptions must be obtained in writing from Prince Hans-Adam II. Please allow three weeks for processing of your request.</li>
<li>The cash value of this letter is 1/10 of one cent in U.S. currency. To redeem the cash value of this letter, return it along with a self-addressed stamped envelope and your credit card and Social Security numbers.</li>
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IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION: </div>
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<span class="s1">To avoid muscle, joint, or eye strain during the reading of this letter, you should take frequent breaks. Take a longer rest if you experience any soreness, fatigue, or discomfort. A very small percentage of people may experience seizures or blackouts. Symptoms may include dizziness, nausea, involuntary movements, loss of awareness, altered vision, tingling, numbness, or other discomforts. Consult a doctor before reading if you have ever suffered these or similar symptoms while reading Eric’s Holiday Letters. Parents should monitor their children because if you leave them alone for too long they could wander away.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">TERMINATION:</span></div>
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<span class="s1">You may stop reading this letter at any time by completing the letter-reading termination process. Simply complete the online form and you will receive confirmation within ten business days informing you that you may stop reading. Please do not stop reading until you receive official confirmation.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">LIABILITY:</span></div>
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<span class="s1">In no case shall Eric’s Holiday Letters Omnimedia, its directors, officers, employees, affiliates, agents, contractors, or licensors be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, punitive, special, or consequential damages arising from your use of this letter, including, but not limited to, accidentally deleting your favorite show before watching it, dropping your phone in the toilet, or frying bacon while not wearing pants.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">FORCE MAJEURE:</span></div>
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<span class="s1">SEVERABILITY: </span></div>
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<span class="s1">If, for any reason, a particular term or section of this letter is not enforceable, the balance of the letter will remain in full force and effect. The holidays will not be cancelled.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">STATUTORY EXCEPTIONS FOR PUBLIC INSTITUTIONS: </span></div>
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<span class="s1">PRIVACY: </span></div>
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<span class="s1">Our privacy policy explains how we treat your personal data and protect your privacy when you read our letters. By reading our letters, you agree that Eric’s Holiday Letters Omnimedia can use such data in accordance with our privacy policy.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">COMMUNICATIONS: </span></div>
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<span class="s1">In connection with your use of these letters, Eric’s Holiday Letters Omnimedia retains the right to contact you on an occasional basis, including, and probably limited to, once a year, to share important information about Eric’s continued existence. These letters may include helpful updates, such as notifying you that another year has come and gone, it’s almost Christmas, and/or a new calendar year is about to begin.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Last updated: December 2015</span></div>
eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-90308686865606781722014-12-26T13:17:00.000-08:002023-03-20T09:51:36.931-07:00<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">ERIC’S 2014 HOLIDAY LETTER: TWENTY-FIFTH ANNIVERSARY EDITION:</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTd9Oho0Eq5XdYVU5Tl6_zcvj7LEduuBpKkD-1vljVfQ876u14K9lhucAm3opAso7fi5u0eGKhFCUHlNls_M7VrErVlPV2QovDjCDJQSnzhgXTF7ibgybQxy0tF9v4Vyq8Q-ED/s1600/band_2145281a.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTd9Oho0Eq5XdYVU5Tl6_zcvj7LEduuBpKkD-1vljVfQ876u14K9lhucAm3opAso7fi5u0eGKhFCUHlNls_M7VrErVlPV2QovDjCDJQSnzhgXTF7ibgybQxy0tF9v4Vyq8Q-ED/s1600/band_2145281a.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">left to right: Simon Le Bon, Bob Geldof, Phil Collins, Bono, Eric, Sting, George Michael</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So, I was listening to a cooking show on the radio the other day as I was driving home from work--and this wasn’t even the classy public radio cooking show; this was just the cooking show on the traffic station. Anyway, the host was talking about rice and she happened to mention that in the olden days processed rice was covered in talc to make it look nicer, but recently they stopped doing that so you don’t have to rinse the talc off anymore before you cook it. Just to recap, YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO RINSE RICE ANYMORE! I had no idea! I feel like such a fool! Well, as you can imagine, I’ve wasted so much of the past year unnecessarily rinsing my rice that I haven’t had time to do anything else!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And now it’s time for my annual holiday letter and I don’t have anything written. What am I to do? Well, I just realized this is the twenty-fifth anniversary of my holiday letter, so I’ll write about that. I think I wrote the first one back in 1989. I remember it well, because it was before typewriters were invented, so I wrote it by hand...in the shape of a Christmas tree. Many of you wouldn’t have received those early editions because the circulation was pretty small back then. But since then it’s been spreading. From a single, isolated copy here on my computer in Burbank, it’s been transmitted to friends and family in several states and even to other countries.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">FOX NEWS: “Why isn’t the president doing anything to protect us from this growing threat?!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">THE PRESIDENT: “You’re overreacting.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">FOX NEWS: “We aren’t overreacting! We’re just reacting more than the appropriate amount! We need to shut down the entire US Postal Service until this holiday letter can be contained! It just makes common sense!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">THE PRESIDENT: “If you do that, you’ll just force these letters underground and then we won’t be able to track them. It would be counterproductive. Look, I know you’re scared. These letters get more ridiculous every year. I get it. But we have the situation under control. In fact, I’ve just appointed a Holiday Letter Czar.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Well, that should do it. But, just in case, I think we also need a benefit concert for all the people who have had to read these letters for so many years. In honor of the twenty-fifth anniversary of this letter, we’ve invited back all our old favorites. Several versions of Eric from over the years will be joining us:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">1989 ERIC: “Duuuude!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">1993 ERIC: “Dude, where’s my car?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">1998 ERIC: “Ahoy, mateys!” (Remember that year I became a pirate?)</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">2002 ERIC: “Whassup?!” (Remember that year I became really annoying?)</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">No, I don’t remember that, either. Anyway, we also have some real singers to help out:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">STING: “I’m honored to be here.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">BONO: “Anything for you, man.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">ADELE: “Sorry, I can’t. I have that thing.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">What thing?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">ADELE: “Dignity. But I’m giving money to Doctors Without Borders, so please stop calling me.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">OK, we’ll just have to do this without Adele. We’ll be singing the classic 1984 Band Aid song Do They Know It’s a Christmas Letter (Read the World). I hope you remember it. Please feel free to sing along:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">STING: “At Christmastime, there’s no need to be afraid. You’ll get this letter, but that’s the price to be paid.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">BOY GEORGE: “And in this world of plenty, there’s so little time to spare. But you’re stuck reading this at Christmastime.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">GEORGE MICHAEL: “But say a prayer. Pray for the other ones. At Christmastime, but when you’re having fun...”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">BANANARAMA: “There’s a world outside your window that endured these letters for twenty-five years. And the only water flowing was the bitter sting of tears. And the postman’s bell that rang there was the clanging chime of doom...”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">BONO: “Well, tonight thank God it was them instead of you!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">CHORUS: “And there won’t be snow in Burbank this Christmastime. The greatest gift they’ll get this year is rain. Where the letters make no sense, they’re so meta and too dense. Do they know it’s a Christmas letter at all?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">SIMON LE BON: “Here’s to you, reading a letter about reading a letter. Here’s to them, let’s hope the next one’s a little better! Do they know it’s a Christmas letter at all?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">CHORUS: “Read the wo-orld. Let them know it’s Christmastime. Read the wo-orld. Let them know…”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">OK, I’m going to have to stop you there. It doesn’t usually snow in Burbank anyway. And, while “read the world” does rhyme with “feed the world,” it doesn’t really mean anything. Other than that, the song was perfect and you all sound great! And we’ve helped raise awareness of holiday letters. Most important, you’ve made it to the end of another one. Wishing you all the best for 2015! </span></span></div>
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eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-1284885983958902872014-08-02T15:57:00.001-07:002023-03-20T09:51:59.667-07:00Sorry! Can't do it this season! I love writing these posts, but they do take up most of my weekends and I just don't have enough time right now.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"I don't understand why we need to explain ourselves to THEM!"</span></td></tr>
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Well, Nina, I thought the polite thing would be to at least put up a quick post so people don't wonder what happened to me.<br />
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NINA: "Do what you like. I answer only to God."eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-51264865656561465022014-04-11T22:06:00.001-07:002014-04-11T23:37:59.728-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
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<span id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397109630853_2672" style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Project Runway Under the Gunn Season Finale: My first and last post of the season!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's me in the lower left corner!</td></tr>
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<span id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397109630853_2672" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">First, a message from our sponsors:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;"><b>BRIAN BOLAIN, LEXUS GUY</b>: Each of you is going to get a new Lexus…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">OH, MY GOD! SERIOUSLY?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;"><b>BRIAN BOLAIN, LEXUS GUY</b>: …to use for the duration of this blog post.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">oh. you suck.</span></div>
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<span id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397109630853_2680" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">OK, so I didn’t blog about Under the Gunn, but, as a field reporter for Blogging Project Runway, I had the pleasure of attending the taping of the final runway shows in Los Angeles a few months ago. So I’ll write a bit about the finale, focusing on the most important part: me.</span></div>
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<span id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397109630853_2682" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">How did I get in to the finale, you ask? Well, first I went to the Benefit Cosmetic and Blow Pro Styling Studio and got myself all pretty, then I grabbed my purse, which I had picked up at Francesca’s at a great price, and then I drove in my brand new Lexus to the Universal City metro station, where I took the subway downtown.</span></div>
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<span id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397109630853_2684" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">When I got to the theater, I told them I was Daniel Franco and they let me right in. I'm just kidding. I didn’t need to sneak in at all, because I was on the guest list! So, they’re like, “Walk down the red carpet and stand and pose for a photograph,” and I’m all, “Red what, now? Stand for a what? I don’t understand any of these words.” Then I just ran as fast as possible into the theater because I'm a complete weirdo.</span></div>
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<span id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397109630853_2686" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">I sat toward the front, on the center aisle, next to the runway. Nicholas, one of the UTG designers was sitting directly in front of me. He was very nice. He is a huge liar, though. I’m teasing! He had to lie to me because I stupidly asked him if he was a designer and obviously he couldn’t let anything slip, so he told me he wasn’t. I asked because he was wearing a very cool jacket that I assume was his own design and also because he basically just looked like a designer. And guess what? I’m not as stupid as I am, because it turns out he actually IS A DESIGNER! Anyway, when the season started, I couldn’t figure out what it meant that he was sitting right there; I don’t remember seeing the other UTG designers in the area. I knew it meant he was either eliminated immediately, or he was in the finale, or he was eliminated somewhere in the middle of the season. And I was right!</span></div>
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<span id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397109630853_2688" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">Sitting nearby were Bert Keeter, Mila Hermanovski, and Alexandria von Bromssen, who were all super cool and lovely. The first few rows were also filled with PR alums. I was sure the producers would get close-up reaction shots of them during the runway show, which would result in really good shots of me on television. But, for some reason, we were ignored. I don’t get it. I mean, sure, Shan’s children are cute, but are they really more adorable than I am? Please.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bert with a well-dressed stranger!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mila with an unnamed gal pal!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alexandria mobbed by a gaggle of little girls!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">I’ve talked about who was sitting in front of me. Now, let me tell you about the people sitting directly to my right. They were complete nobodies. No offence, but they were so not famous it was physically painful to sit next to them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">Seven hours later, the show started.</span></div>
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<span id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397109630853_2697" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">The collections were anonymous. The shots that were broadcast with the designers introducing their collections to the audience were created digitally. They are the most impressive digital effects I’ve seen since “Noah.” I also think the clothes must have been digitally enhanced in post-production, because I was shocked at how much better these collections looked on television than they did in person. Up close they looked pretty awful, but now that I’m seeing them again, I think they’re not so bad. Maybe it was the harsh lighting that made everything look bad. The only problem with that theory is that Heidi Klum was in the same harsh lighting and she looked more stunning than ever.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">Sam: This was probably my favorite collection, but I can understand the judges being slightly underwhelmed by it.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">Asha: The jumpsuit was cool, but the fabrics and styling for the collection were just slightly off. I agree with NPH that it looked like the inspiration was a fortune teller. And that’s not what Asha was going for.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">Shan: He had two really great looks here: the red jumpsuit and the print dress with the biker jacket. The other looks were just not up to the level he had demonstrated during the season. And, again, keep in mind they look much better on television than they did in person. Those pantyhose leggings actually don’t look so bad here, but up close they made me gag. Fortunately, UTG had thoughtfully left bags under our seats, with Benefit Cosmetic lip gloss and mascara and a coupon for cubic zirconia earrings from Francesca’s. It was a very nice gift bag. To puke in.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">Oscar: I liked the polka-dot top. And I think his designs are much less tacky than they were at the beginning of the competition. So, congratulations!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;">Before we go, Kylie Minogue has a question for you: have you been worried lately that your consumption might not be conspicuous enough?</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Go buy a goddamn Lexus!</td></tr>
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eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-16242276542933180042014-01-11T15:02:00.000-08:002023-03-20T09:52:57.118-07:00<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Project Runway All Stars Season Three Finale: The Interpreters!</span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This week at the UN</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: Welcome to the United Nations headquarters in New York. You are here to meet the delegates from the countries of your heritage and interpret the spirit of those countries into six piece collections that will walk the famous UN runway four days from now.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Elena meets the delegate from Ukraine:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>UKRAINIAN DELEGATE</b>: People wear clothes in Ukraine. You’ll be a huge star.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ELENA</b>: Sounds great.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Korto meets the delegate from Liberia:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>LIBERIAN DELEGATE</b>: It is very important that you come with me to Liberia right now!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: OK, slow down. Why don’t you buy me a drink first?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Seth Aaron meets the Delegate from Spain:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>SPANISH DELEGATE</b>: The most important thing in Spain is the earth. In fact, Spain is almost ninety percent dirt.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The designers are now super inspired. After some sketching time, the UN building is evacuated because one of the metal detectors is malfunctioning. The designers head off to Mood to buy fabric. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Later that night, after the designers are snug in their beds, Nicole Kidman goes back to the UN building to get her flute. The building appears to be empty. But then, as she’s about to leave, she hears voices. They are speaking in a language that only a few people can understand.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>“Repetition is reputation. It’s a double edged sword. The peplum story isn’t working. The teacher will not leave this room.”</i></span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What the hell?</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Nicole doesn’t know what it means, but she’s terrified. She runs for her life.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The next day in the design room Nicole talks to Zanna Roberts Rassi, the Secret Service mentor who has been assigned to her:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>NICOLE KIDMAN</b>: They were speaking in the special language of Project Runway judges, so it was difficult to make sense of it, but I think they were talking about the international fashion icon Gayle King.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ZANNA</b>: How’d you happen to be up there after hours?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>NICOLE</b>: I had to go back for my flute. We evacuated the building and, as you can imagine, it would have been very burdensome to take my flute with me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ZANNA</b>: Your flute? Of all the things a writer could make you go back for, why would it be a flute? I mean, even a violin would make more sense.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>NICOLE</b>: I know. But it was a flute. What can I do about it?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ZANNA</b>: OK. So, you go back for your flute and you just happen to hear some people talking in gibberish that only a few Project Runway judges would be able understand?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>NICOLE</b>: You don’t believe me? You think I’m making it up? </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I’m scared and my mentor is someone who doesn’t believe me.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ZANNA</b>: I’m not here to mentor you. I’m here to mentor the All Stars. My job, as it concerns you, is to investigate you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>NICOLE</b>: We’re kepéla. It means standing on opposite sides of the design room.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Zanna and Nicole don’t trust each other at first, but their relationship starts to warm up and they soon discover they need each other. They only have four days to solve the mystery of why in the world Gayle King would be the guest judge for the finale and who she will chose to win the biggest prize package in Project Runway history. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zanna Roberts Rassi and Nicole Kidman</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: So, Zanna, do you think Nicole Kidman is telling the truth?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ZANNA</b>: I’d rather make the mistake of believing her than the bigger one of not.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: This is so important we will be giving you some assistance. Use whatever resources are necessary. The NSA, the CIA, the FBI, former All Stars contestants -- anything you need, it’s yours.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So Christopher, Viktor, and Jeffrey are sent in to help solve the case. At first we can’t decide how Nicole Kidman is mixed up in all this. She seems to be connected to all three remaining All Stars. One is her brother, one is her lover, and one is her friend. But does that mean she is part of the conspiracy?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>NICOLE</b>: I walked away from Parsons with nothing. No brother, no family, no lover, nothing. Just a belief that fashion shows at the UN can solve all the world’s problems.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">After that moving speech, we are forced to endure tedious scenes of Zanna staring at Nicole, the length of the design room a physical reminder of the metaphorical distance between them. And then that distance disappears in an instant, when Zanna rushes over to save Nicole from an assassination attempt. Then Nicole is almost blown up on a bus. They head back to the UN for the fashion show.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: Like all thrillers, this one has a twist. The twist is that the voice Nicole heard was that of Zac Posen. He was talking with the other judges about who would win this season of All Stars.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">That’s the twist? So why are there a bunch of scarves hanging behind you?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: Oh, right. I forgot about the scarves. The designers have to use those to make a seventh look. Now, let’s start the show. For the first time cameras are being allowed into the UN General Assembly room to record the Project Runway All Stars finale. Isn’t that exciting?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Well, I have no idea what that confusing statement means. Are you saying this is the first time cameras are being allowed into the General Assembly room, or are you saying this is the first time they are being allowed in to record this Project Runway finale?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: I don’t know! I’m reading a script! Stop analyzing everything I say!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Fine. Well, the show was impressive, considering the fact that the collections were created in four days. Seven pieces doesn’t really a collection make, though. It doesn’t really give the designer enough space to develop themes while providing the full range of a real collection. The judges are either going to complain that the looks are not cohesive or they are going to complain that the looks are just variations on a theme. There really isn’t a way to avoid that with these mini collections. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Elena - This was my favorite collection. The judges complained that the looks were all the same and that there was only one silhouette. But I counted two silhouettes: her basic body-con silhouette and a fun trapeze shape. Perhaps the judges were hoping for three or four, but am I expecting too much to think the judges should be able to tell the difference between one silhouette and two? </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Korto - This was my second favorite collection. Her first dress and her palazzo-pant jumpsuit were gorgeous and there were a couple of other nice looks. If the whole collection had lived up to the best looks I would have picked her for the win. But there were a few looks I didn’t like at all.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Seth Aaron - While I thought this was a dramatic collection, it was my least favorite of the three. I happen to like crazy, non-commercial looks, as long as they are exciting and fashion forward. But I found this collection, on the whole, to cross the line into dated clown-clothes territory. The red coat was nice, though.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The judges, as expected, get everything completely wrong:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: Designers, this season you’ve created fashion inspired by the New York stock exchange, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the Great Gatsby. You’ve been humiliated by Miranda Priestly and proven that Santa Claus exists. You’ve designed menswear and womenswear to be worn in the Hunger Games and you’ve permanently ruined the Sound of Music with your complete lack of acting ability. One of you even destroyed the earth on two separate occasions. All of this led up to our big finale, where you created looks based on your heritage and almost killed Nicole Kidman. So, after all of that, it is only fitting that we allow Nicole Kidman to explain the judging process to us:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>NICOLE</b>: Everyone who loses somebody wants revenge. But on Project Runway we believe that the only way to end grief is to go back on the show again. If someone is eliminated, several years of mourning ends with a ritual that we call All Stars. There's an all-night party beside a river. At dawn, the All Stars are put in a boat. They’re taken out on the river and dropped. The judges then have to make a choice. They can let them drown or they can swim out and save them. The audience believes that if the right designer is chosen, they'll have justice but spend the rest of their lives in mourning. But if they accept the winner that the judges choose, if they admit that life isn't always just ... that very act can take away their sorrow.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">That sounds reasonable. I accept Seth Aaron as the winner. I just can't be super excited about it. Let's see if Nicole can accept the judges' decision:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ZANNA</b>: How do you feel about the Project Runway judges?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>NICOLE</b>: I feel disappointment.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ZANNA</b>: That’s a lover’s word. What about rage? Of all the people I’ve looked into since this thing started, the one with the darkest history with the judges is you. Their decision eliminated your ...</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>NICOLE</b>: Shhh! We don’t speak the names of the eliminated. It's hard to remember that these were once good judges. That's not unusual for these guys. They all begin as liberators and 20 minutes later they're as corrupt as the tyrants they've overthrown. They liberated Project Runway from one of the most corrupt judging panels on earth, gave the audience hope, and were heroes. They need another name for what they are now.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6bSu4dARkwoGl7KYBzoEqi93JSWe7QIPxqnURKNkVxcCYMEceM96rtmR88sh3OhyphenhyphenhU_edOOyQcRi1lFtLivZGOkYd2nFQPTHVXNUoJdmDxliLfU001rHxgV-k94F_PyNj0LUf/s1600/Screen+shot+2014-01-11+at+1.54.34+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6bSu4dARkwoGl7KYBzoEqi93JSWe7QIPxqnURKNkVxcCYMEceM96rtmR88sh3OhyphenhyphenhU_edOOyQcRi1lFtLivZGOkYd2nFQPTHVXNUoJdmDxliLfU001rHxgV-k94F_PyNj0LUf/s1600/Screen+shot+2014-01-11+at+1.54.34+PM.png" height="217" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nicole Kidman is disappointed.</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></span>[Eric3000 would like to thank you for reading and apologize for the fact that this was the only UN-themed movie he could think of.]</span></div>
eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-48997317435111278492014-01-04T19:37:00.000-08:002023-03-20T09:53:23.005-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Project Runway All Stars Season Three, Episode Nine: Fashion Cents!</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkWSSBe3fd2nDwLUxTGo5gWXdhEU6V3GgC-F0NfBbV3-0VxhZn7TCHIgfyxDVlImxek5rUa2iMLgc-ECrL8nc_Hli5UadCkW-CZ2giCO3Pu7d90MjLZ3KyPHLzb0PS1cnYX2sG/s1600/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.22.34+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkWSSBe3fd2nDwLUxTGo5gWXdhEU6V3GgC-F0NfBbV3-0VxhZn7TCHIgfyxDVlImxek5rUa2iMLgc-ECrL8nc_Hli5UadCkW-CZ2giCO3Pu7d90MjLZ3KyPHLzb0PS1cnYX2sG/s400/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.22.34+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I have a hunch something exciting is going to happen in the ready-to-wear market this morning!</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We open the episode with Isaac and Georgina being driven to work in their Bentley. They are having an argument:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ISAAC</b>: How stupid these scientists are! The eternal question. There is no question. The answer’s obvious.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>GEORGINA</b>: I don’t care about heredity versus environment. I’m sick and tired of hearing about it. I care how much we get for our ready-to-wear looks.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ISAAC</b>: Michelle Smith says to sell at four hundred dollars. Her charts say that’s as high as it’ll go.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>GEORGINA</b>: It’ll never get that high. Let’s sell lower.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ISAAC</b>: Patience, Georgina. Let’s see if she’s right. This is a study in human nature.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>GEORGINA</b>: We’re about to sell dresses for four hundred dollars and you’re talking about human nature.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ISAAC</b>: Money isn’t everything, Georgina.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>GEORGINA</b>: Oh, grow up, Isaac.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ISAAC</b>: Mother always said you were greedy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>GEORGINA</b>: She meant it as a compliment. We’re lucky to have these All Stars working for us, you know.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ISAAC</b>: Hogwash. They’re a product of good environment.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>GEORGINA</b>: It’s got nothing to do with environment. With their genes, you could put them anywhere and they’ll come out on top. Breeding. Same as race horses. It’s in the blood.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ISAAC</b>: I’m telling you it’s environment. We could make one designer the winner of this challenge and another designer the loser just through our random decisions.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>GEORGINA</b>: Are we talking about a wager? How much do you want to bet?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ISAAC</b>: Shall we say the usual amount?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>GEORGINA</b>: Why not?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So, Seth Aaron gets set up with a beautiful design room and fabrics, the use of hair and makeup artists, an accessory wall, a car, and his own butler.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Christopher, on the other hand, gets arrested for theft, has PCP planted in his jacket, is dumped by his fiance, and, on top of all that, is also expected to make a dress that only has one zipper in it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: One zipper? Why is someone trying to ruin my life?!!!</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6BEv4hyjJDyolRP4YQA5orP7qKaoHP3YJdcT6qQUJa12N90qPUN9Gf5Dd_oN6ZoEEdMz33382sg5ZBpjdeCtPTwOBwHaJACdeNm7KGJBrUIeIPmOvwWfF5-ZIw7UTyQQFLS6Y/s1600/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.42.44+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6BEv4hyjJDyolRP4YQA5orP7qKaoHP3YJdcT6qQUJa12N90qPUN9Gf5Dd_oN6ZoEEdMz33382sg5ZBpjdeCtPTwOBwHaJACdeNm7KGJBrUIeIPmOvwWfF5-ZIw7UTyQQFLS6Y/s400/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.42.44+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Christopher is having some difficulties</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The designers all have to make compromises for the ready-to-wear market. Seth Aaron has to give up his zipper, which is apparently made out of solid gold, Korto has to shorten her maxi dress, and Elena has to stick with her approved design. But Christopher is having the most trouble. He goes to the tennis club to seek help from the other designers:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: Oh, good. There you are. Seth Aaron, Elena, Korto, I realize this looks completely awful, but I just wanted to assure you, my friends, that I am completely innocent. I’m going to fight this. Someone is out to get me and I know who. The important thing is that I can rely on you, my friends, as character witnesses. I’m going to be defending myself on the runway and I wondered if you could see your way clear to perhaps advance me a small amount of advice about this zipper issue.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: Frankly, Christopher -- and I think I speak for all of us -- I think it shows incredibly bad taste for you to embarrass us like this. You shouldn’t be asking us for help at this point in the competition.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>SETH AARON</b>: Yeah. Nobody wants to buy your heroin, here, Christopher.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: It wasn’t heroin! It was PCP! And it wasn’t mine!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Time for the runway, with guest judges Kristin Chenoweth and Nick Cannon. Alyssa explains how it works:</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAuyupsuzhAs3t1aZGYqKMtTvMLZW0bX1N1V4CoZcXDngUfW2dnA98ARUNg174z4D8upqqYxR6GAKX5nRzw7-BquW5qsK-Lok49yb_VU8BFSLewvV3dazbCeCQZK8Y-T00edq2/s1600/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.47.03+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAuyupsuzhAs3t1aZGYqKMtTvMLZW0bX1N1V4CoZcXDngUfW2dnA98ARUNg174z4D8upqqYxR6GAKX5nRzw7-BquW5qsK-Lok49yb_VU8BFSLewvV3dazbCeCQZK8Y-T00edq2/s400/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.47.03+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fashion is a commodity</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: If you’re going to succeed in fashion you have to know all aspects of the industry. Last week you came face to face with real customers, now it’s time to delve into the true business of fashion: ready-to-wear. Let me explain to you what it is we do here. We are in the fashion industry. Fashion is a commodity. Now, what are commodities? Commodities are products, like coffee that you had for breakfast; wheat, which is used to make bread; or pork bellies, which is used to make bacon that you might find in a bacon and lettuce and tomato sandwich. Clear so far? </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghI2CD1pDGlqIT0Z21YwRCW_RR_kQtkZi2bSP2cIG7FHsRZmyWHnSD6zT77LP9iG5RMng8HhHxSehNnNsFYBuSM9-taaO4TItY0a1NlCzg4u9HGlOTDWPdOHbDwRboZ7QmZbwC/s1600/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.35.44+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghI2CD1pDGlqIT0Z21YwRCW_RR_kQtkZi2bSP2cIG7FHsRZmyWHnSD6zT77LP9iG5RMng8HhHxSehNnNsFYBuSM9-taaO4TItY0a1NlCzg4u9HGlOTDWPdOHbDwRboZ7QmZbwC/s400/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.35.44+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: Good. Now some of you designers will be in the top this week and some will be in the bottom. Our job is to make the decision.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>NICK CANNON</b>: Tell them the best part, Kristin.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KRISTIN CHENOWETH</b>: The best part is that no matter whether you are in the top or the bottom, Nick and I are huge stars and we're incredibly rich.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>DESIGNERS</b>: It’s sounds like you guys are a bunch of bookies.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KRISTIN CHENOWETH</b>: I told you they’d understand.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Seth Aaron wins the challenge. Elena is safe. The bottom two, Korto and Christopher, will face one final challenge to decide which one will make it to the finale:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: Think big, designers. Think positive. Never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Fear: that’s the other guy’s problem. Nothing can prepare you for the unbridled carnage you are about to witness. The Super Bowl. The World Series. Pressure? Here it’s kill or be killed. Make no friends and take no prisoners. One minute you’re up, the next -- boom -- your kids don’t go to college and you’ve lost your Bentley. This is it. This is the last bastion of pure capitalism left of earth. Here, in the runway trading pit, you’ll be expected to take three of your old looks and transform them into one dramatic new look. Now, go kick some ass! </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigvkY90xC4ZHSdcvltoA1pKL8NosiT4O3LVtFXo29EMvcUUr0WG-IX0lymi-bmFoJn_RqF7MC7b52USF-VpCZq_DiEv4r72nlFtxEL_oGtOR23xLyibpws_7aHhc1lQ0ZcmZIz/s1600/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.38.08+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigvkY90xC4ZHSdcvltoA1pKL8NosiT4O3LVtFXo29EMvcUUr0WG-IX0lymi-bmFoJn_RqF7MC7b52USF-VpCZq_DiEv4r72nlFtxEL_oGtOR23xLyibpws_7aHhc1lQ0ZcmZIz/s400/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.38.08+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Madness!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Christopher and Korto enter the pit and manage to trade old looks for new looks. They buy low and sell high! Korto created a very cool outfit and Christopher finally showed the judges who he is as a designer. Unfortunately, one of them has to go. The room goes silent as we await the message from the U.S. Secretary of Fashion:</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4fUmMGR0VRgx2Jym0d-pGT8aYIaMPM7q6OEg98IkS6fTU_UNKqHANEGlKcTg6jWxA-wHchZzoaFQSmWFHSGnCf-GM7phgqB4IbJ6Axdf20EjH_3ee3pS1Edy9t8ZuCKDLB5UK/s1600/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.38.47+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4fUmMGR0VRgx2Jym0d-pGT8aYIaMPM7q6OEg98IkS6fTU_UNKqHANEGlKcTg6jWxA-wHchZzoaFQSmWFHSGnCf-GM7phgqB4IbJ6Axdf20EjH_3ee3pS1Edy9t8ZuCKDLB5UK/s400/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.38.47+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quiet!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>SECRETARY OF FASHION</b>: After calculating the estimates from various judges, we have concluded the following: Korto is in and Christopher is out.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ISAAC</b>: Pay up, Georgina. I’ve won the bet. We took a bunch of perfectly useless psychopaths and turned them into All Stars. And at the same time we turned an honest, hard-working designer into a violently deranged would-be killer.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>GEORGINA</b>: Here you go, Isaac. One dollar.</span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij-_UgULWfcz4g2nhE_3OWd25qzSQ8-nSk_5JJ7oKwSQ59rJ8eE4Y3sDQsCd-XYvn6EjmKGhqTJnrJGJ-NR-29ppN9AUI9cS-tBPJv9fNncFU67-q4RGAj2-FszYMUwIiEveTA/s1600/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.46.27+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij-_UgULWfcz4g2nhE_3OWd25qzSQ8-nSk_5JJ7oKwSQ59rJ8eE4Y3sDQsCd-XYvn6EjmKGhqTJnrJGJ-NR-29ppN9AUI9cS-tBPJv9fNncFU67-q4RGAj2-FszYMUwIiEveTA/s400/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.46.27+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: It was an experiment? The judges used us as guinea pigs? They ruined my life over a bet?</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sorry, Christopher. Korto will be joining Seth Aaron and Elena in the finale.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSBDf17M8ELdqFxdfI8oZPTVFo_wCjCJGMEi1PAM3d2vm7f5WKymUJmmfE2msIBeJYPAsmZ1KHkndjeHM5qRfZmtqnYdjsoFkfPBDExpqL_HtIHWj_xBr-llH1MWeKWA-oYV6x/s1600/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.40.53+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSBDf17M8ELdqFxdfI8oZPTVFo_wCjCJGMEi1PAM3d2vm7f5WKymUJmmfE2msIBeJYPAsmZ1KHkndjeHM5qRfZmtqnYdjsoFkfPBDExpqL_HtIHWj_xBr-llH1MWeKWA-oYV6x/s400/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.40.53+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Looking good, Seth Aaron!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgBqbsKLl7KN-9WDI_qDudFnYS5H95kTirs6_w9reCgy0zFbT5RO88ZdUsEcQMP6qE-TqazgMEkeHxag4WFCEE551SqeceRN0x6Mes_mdmNnovegiMdWUjCcGSGH0HCHr75UCp/s1600/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.40.07+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgBqbsKLl7KN-9WDI_qDudFnYS5H95kTirs6_w9reCgy0zFbT5RO88ZdUsEcQMP6qE-TqazgMEkeHxag4WFCEE551SqeceRN0x6Mes_mdmNnovegiMdWUjCcGSGH0HCHr75UCp/s400/Screen+shot+2014-01-04+at+6.40.07+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Feeling good, Elena!</td></tr>
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eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-66920360621996144792013-12-20T23:32:00.000-08:002023-03-20T09:53:44.706-07:00<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Project Runway All Stars Season Three, Episode Eight: #The Devil Is Trending!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Terrific. Apparently, this episode is going to be all about those annoying pound signs that are all over the place. <i>Pound sign Things that are popular. Pound sign The Kardashians just did something. Pound sign Get off my lawn, you damn kids, with your Tweeting and your Instagraphs.</i></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: You’re our new fashion blogger? Well, Human Resources certainly has an odd sense of humor. Follow me. OK, so Nina eliminated the last two fashion bloggers after only a few weeks. We need to find a blogger who can survive here. Do you understand?</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Yes. Of course. Who’s Nina?</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: Oh, my God. I will pretend you did not just ask me that. She’s the editor of Marie Claire, not to mention a legend. A million bloggers would kill for this opportunity. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">[Alyssa gets a call]</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: Oh my god. No! No! No!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">What's wrong?</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: She's on her way! Tell everyone!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">But, she wasn’t supposed to be here until 9:00.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: Her driver just text messaged and her facialist ruptured a disc. God, these people!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">All right, everyone, gird your loins!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">[Nina enters]</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>NINA</b>: Tell Simone I’m not going to approve that girl that she sent me for the Brazilian layout. I asked for clean, athletic, and smiling. She sent me dirty, tired, and paunchy. And RSVP Yes to the Michael Kors party. I want the driver to drop me off at 9:30 and pick me up at 9:45 sharp. Call Natalie at Glorious Foods and tell her No, for the 40th time. No, I don’t want dacquoise. I want tortes filled with warm rhubarb compote. Tell Richard I saw the pictures that he sent for that feature on the female paratroopers and they’re all so deeply unattractive. Is it impossible to find a lovely, slender female paratrooper? Am I reaching for the stars here? Not really. Is there some reason I don’t have my coffee? Has my assistant died? And who are these people?</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>ALYSSA</b>: Oh, nobody. They’re just the remaining All Stars. I’ll narrow them down to the finalists.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>NINA</b>: Clearly I’m going to have to do that myself, because the job you’ve been doing so far is completely inadequate. Have them create their looks and I’ll decide. That’s all.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">So, the designers go to Mood and meet their fashion bloggers, who will be their models. Seth Aaron creates a tight color-blocked dress, which is nice but not trendsetting. Elena creates a peplum jacket that uses a very interesting textile technique but is way out of proportion for her tiny model. Viktor creates a beautiful leather jacket and pairs it with a weird black dress. Christopher creates an olive-drab lace trench dress. Korto is the clear winner, with a terrific white suit that needed only some adjustment to the hem of the pant. Nina is disappointed in the other designers:</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>NINA</b>: I asked one thing of you. I asked you to get me the next Harry Potter book for my boys and you failed me.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: There is no next Harry Potter book! The series ended!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>NINA</b>: The details of your incompetence do not interest me.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Christopher is safe. Viktor is out because Nina had to sacrifice him in order to save her own job. You see, Viktor was supposed to have gotten the job as creative director with fashion star James Holt, but then it turned out Jacqueline Folette, the editor of the French edition of Marie Claire, was about to take over Nina’s position so Nina had to give the Holt job to Jacqueline instead. It was all very shocking, but Viktor took it in stride. He knows that some day, when the time is right, she’ll make it up to him.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Oh, I forgot to mention that they were supposed to be predicting a trend for 2014 and also using the color pink.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>NINA</b>: Excuse me? Pink?</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Yeah. Wasn’t it pink? To be honest, when you started talking about panettone I got hungry and I wasn’t paying attention to this stuff.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>NINA</b>: This ... stuff? Oh. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your local Trader Joe’s and you select ... I don't know ... that panettone with the dried fruit that comes in the pink box, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself seriously. But what you don't know is that that box is not just pink. It's not fuchsia. It's not magenta. It's actually the panettone color of the year for 2014, radiant orchid. And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002 Oscar de la Renta did a collection of radiant orchid gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent who showed radiant orchid military jackets. And then radiant orchid quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner where someone, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin and used it for food packaging. However, that pink represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're eating panettone out of a box that was selected for you by the people in this room from a pile of stuff.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekNGX2cRvimQ8GwK8K0Cl37hsSZXxaH3oYgnbjBVqZ3L5DympwWjnTF-uRB3MDm5HUicWuMN_tTDXkMWPt9nJ_0yf9S-yxNizhQY8169pF8o1If6S_T25Xl81f4IJn95gE4Ln/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-20+at+11.16.19+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekNGX2cRvimQ8GwK8K0Cl37hsSZXxaH3oYgnbjBVqZ3L5DympwWjnTF-uRB3MDm5HUicWuMN_tTDXkMWPt9nJ_0yf9S-yxNizhQY8169pF8o1If6S_T25Xl81f4IJn95gE4Ln/s400/Screen+shot+2013-12-20+at+11.16.19+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nina says That's all</td></tr>
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eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-16348265815421497162013-12-14T18:42:00.000-08:002023-03-20T09:54:00.472-07:00<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Project Runway All Stars Season Three, Episode Seven: Miracle on the Runway!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This week the show is being filmed in West Chester, Pennsylvania. Lisa Robertson is organizing the QVC Thanksgiving Day Parade of Programming:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>LISA ROBERTSON</b>: You’ve got them mixed up. You’re making a terrible mistake. You’ve got <i>Handbags with Mary Beth</i> where <i>Antonella’s Jewelry Favorites</i> should be. And <i>Merry Memories with David</i> should be on my right-hand side. And another thing: <i>Anything Goes with Rick & Shawn</i> is a terrible name for a show. Still, I don’t suppose anybody would notice except myself.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">QVC's Lisa Robertson</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Lisa sees one of her hosts is having problems:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>LISA ROBERTSON</b>: Let me show you how to use that whip. It’s all in the wrist. Hey, you’ve been drinking! You’re a disgrace. You should be ashamed. Don’t you know there are thousands of agoraphobic women sitting in front of their televisions waiting to see you? Women who have been dreaming of this moment for weeks? You’re a disgrace to the tradition of home shopping. I refuse to let you malign QVC in this way. Korto, could you fill in as host? Have you got any experience?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: Oh, a little. I’m not in the habit of substituting for spurious television hosts, but I’ll do it for the fans.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Korto sells some product on television.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>VIKTOR</b>: This is just like a fairy tale, isn’t it, Irina?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: I don’t believe in fairy tales. I think they're silly.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>VIKTOR</b>: So, no All Stars either? No fantasies of any kind, is that it?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: That’s right. We should be realistic and completely truthful and not grow up believing in a lot of legends and myths.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Meanwhile, Korto has become a very popular host:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>LISA ROBERTSON</b>: I just know with that designer on camera QVC will sell more than ever. So, Korto, here’s a list of the products we have to push. We’re overstocked on this crap. You understand?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: I certainly do. Imagine, convincing television viewers to buy stuff they don’t need just because you bought too much of the wrong thing. That’s what I’ve been fighting against for years. The way you commercialize television. It’s disgusting.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Korto continues her hosting gig and takes a call from a viewer:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: Hi, caller! What can I help you with today?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>VIEWER</b>: I’d like to buy a Kindle Fire HD 7” 32GB WiFi Tablet with Charger, Case & Tech Support. I promise I won’t use it in the house. Only in the yard.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>LISA ROBERTSON</b>: Psst! Korto! We’re out of stock on that item.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: I can tell you’re a good person, caller. You’ll get your Kindle Fire.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>LISA ROBERTSON</b>: Korto, I told you QVC doesn’t have it! Don’t you understand English?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: You don’t think I would have promised unless I was sure, do you? Caller, you can get that at Amazon.com. At a good price. And if you have Amazon Prime you’ll get free shipping.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>VIEWER</b>: I don’t get it. QVC sending people to Amazon?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: The only important thing is making the customer happy. Who sells the product doesn’t make any difference. Don’t you feel the same way.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>VIEWER</b>: Who, me? Yeah, sure. I just didn’t think QVC did. I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Korto takes some more calls from viewers:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>VIEWER</b>: I just want to congratulate you and QVC on this wonderful new stunt you’re pulling. Imagine, sending people to Amazon. Why, it’s ...</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: It certainly is!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>VIEWER</b>: You said it! A big outfit like QVC putting the spirit of shopping ahead of the commercial. It’s wonderful. I’ve never done much shopping on QVC, but from now on I’m going to be a regular QVC customer. All Stars really do exist!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Back in the design room, Zanna Roberts Rassi tells the designers she’s not happy with what she’s seen:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: But Zanna, I don’t think there’s any harm in letting the viewers see an All Star.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ZANNA ROBERT RASSI</b>: But I think there <i>is</i> harm. I tell you the dresses here are not up to All Stars standards and that the All Stars are just a myth, and then Korto goes on television in front of hundreds of gullible viewers. This sets up a very harmful mental conflict within them. What are they going to think? Who are they going to believe? And by filling them full of fairy tales, they grow up considering life a fantasy instead of a reality. They keep waiting for Prince Charming to come along. And when he does, he turns out to be a ... </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: Zanna, this isn’t about you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ZANNA ROBERTS RASSI</b>: Never mind. Just please respect my wishes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>SETH AARON</b>: Can you believe Korto spoke Dutch to that one viewer? I think she really might be an All Star!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: Seth Aaron, I speak French but that doesn’t make me Joan of Arc. Please tell me that Korto doesn’t exist.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>SETH AARON</b>: I’m afraid I can’t do that, Irina. Not only does she exist, but she’s here to prove it. By the way, that’s a very cute dress. Where did you get it?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: Right here at QVC!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>LISA ROBERTSON</b>: I have never seen such a tremendous and immediate response to a merchandising policy. We’ll be known as the helpful shopping channel. The shopping channel with a heart. The shopping channel that places public service ahead of profits. And, consequently, we’ll make more profits than ever before.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: Shopping isn’t just a channel. It’s a frame of mind. That’s what’s been changing. That’s why I’m glad I’m here. Maybe I can do something. If I can win you over, there’s still hope.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: I want to win Project Runway All Stars. If you can get me that then you’re real. If not, then you’re only a nice woman on television.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: Now, wait a minute, Irina. Just because every designer can’t get his or her wish doesn’t mean there aren’t All Stars.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Korto is involved in a confrontation with the QVC resident psychologist and is taken to Bellevue hospital for the fashionably insane. She almost gives up on her red-carpet gown.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ISAAC MIZRAHI</b>: But Korto, you can’t just think of yourself. What happens to you matters to a lot of people. People like me, who believe in what you stand for, and people like Alyssa Milano, who are just beginning to. You can’t quit. You can’t let them down.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Korto decides to fight on and create another gown at the last minute. There is not much design to the dress and it’s not really red-carpet worthy, in my opinion, but it’s a perfectly nice dress and it would sell well on QVC. Korto is brought before the Project Runway All Stars judges:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>BAILIFF</b>: Hear ye, hear ye, All designers having business with the supreme court of Project Runway All Stars draw near, give attendance, and ye shall be heard.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ISAAC MIZRAHI</b>: I intend to prove that Korto is an All Star. It’s not just QVC that’s on trial here. It’s everything QVC stands for: kindness, joy, love, and all of the intangible things in life.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA MILANO</b>: All right. So we tell them the Project Runway judges rule there are no All Stars. It’s all over the papers. The kids don’t buy any more clothes. So then the clothing companies lay off employees, and then we’re back in a recession. Obviously, we can’t do that. The trial may proceed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IZAAC MIZRAHI</b>: I call my first witness, Elisabeth Moss. Elisabeth, do you believe in All Stars?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ELISABETH MOSS</b>: Of course I do.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IZAAC MIZRAHI</b>: What does an All Star look like?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ELISABETH MOSS</b>: She’s sitting right there.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IZAAC MIZRAHI</b>: The defense would like the record to show that the witness is pointing at Korto. And now I’d like to submit the following facts in evidence. It concerns the Post Office Department, an official agency of the United States government. The Post Office was created by the Second Continental Congress. The first postmaster general was Benjamin Franklin. The Post Office is one of the world’s largest business concerns. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA MILANO</b>: I agree the Post Office is great. Is there a point to this?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IZAAC MIZRAHI</b>: I have here three letters addressed simply “All Star.” No other address whatsoever. Yet these were just now delivered to Korto by bona fide employees of the Post Office. I offer them in evidence.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA MILANO</b>: Three letters isn’t much proof. If you have more, bring them here and put them in my lap.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Postal employees bring in hundreds of thousands of letters and bury Alyssa Milano alive.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IZAAC MIZRAHI</b>: Each of these letters is addressed to the Project Runway All Star. The Post Office has delivered them. Therefore, the Post Office, a branch of the federal government, recognizes this designer as the winner of this challenge.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Case dismissed. Korto wins the challenge. Congratulations, Korto. I thought Christopher’s gown was more appropriate for the red carpet, but apparently potential QVC sales trumped that. And Irina is out for making a wedding dress that ripped on the runway.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA MILANO</b>: It was both literally and figuratively falling apart at the seams. I’m sorry Irina. I tried my best to get you what you wanted.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: You couldn’t get it because All Stars don’t really exist.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA MILANO</b>: No, Irina. You must believe in All Stars and keep right on doing it. You must have faith.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: But I didn’t get what I wanted. That doesn’t make sense, Alyssa.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA MILANO</b>: Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to. Just because things don’t turn out the way you want them to the first time, you’ve still got to believe. I found that out.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: You mean like, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA MILANO</b>: Yes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: I thought so. This blows.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">On a positive note, on the way home from the Project Runway studio, Irina found her dream house with the swing in the back yard, just like she always wanted.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhASgcJ33iicQ0nW_SRirGdYCyjJ0M27ItWx8BZqUlz9jGkFBIXy9IbuCM_8O6PEmE8A6QulzTqZGaAmz_iAq_xkQivU9gue2zpycyaiyrFqr3mEAx4l6RJ6BJr4N91LLyOzeu1/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-14+at+6.25.45+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhASgcJ33iicQ0nW_SRirGdYCyjJ0M27ItWx8BZqUlz9jGkFBIXy9IbuCM_8O6PEmE8A6QulzTqZGaAmz_iAq_xkQivU9gue2zpycyaiyrFqr3mEAx4l6RJ6BJr4N91LLyOzeu1/s400/Screen+shot+2013-12-14+at+6.25.45+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What the hell is her problem?</td></tr>
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eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-71464898851909489992013-12-07T19:28:00.001-08:002023-03-20T09:55:03.278-07:00<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Project Runway All Stars Season Three, Episode Six: The Simpsons Live!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA MILANO</b>: In an unprecedented television event, Project Runway All Stars presents The Simpsons Live! Starring Carrie Underwood in the part she was born to play: Marge Simpson!</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwg3RMjH761E3gGwMwYXlwG4VgcTQYXQj2uedlrGkpL1dCxSN2v7Lfj5fouElxLwF9lwimtxxkCkkkRbNRKrZXKh9Hp0LrFzhhLUTvYhIKV5Rw_iC-zDJaokg0debCLakzhSTp/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-07+at+7.15.01+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwg3RMjH761E3gGwMwYXlwG4VgcTQYXQj2uedlrGkpL1dCxSN2v7Lfj5fouElxLwF9lwimtxxkCkkkRbNRKrZXKh9Hp0LrFzhhLUTvYhIKV5Rw_iC-zDJaokg0debCLakzhSTp/s400/Screen+shot+2013-12-07+at+7.15.01+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Let us pray.</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Springfield, Austria, the abbey next to the nuclear power plant, convent of the sisters of Our Lady of Perpetual Deregulation:</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>SISTER BERNICE</b>: Oh, Reverend Mother, we simply cannot find Georgina Chapman!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>SISTER FRANCIS</b>: She is missing ... again.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>SISTER BERTHE</b>: Perhaps we should put a cow bell around her </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">neck. I think I saw one on the QVC accessory wall.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>SISTER AGATHA</b>: Now, now, sister Berthe.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>REVEREND MOTHER</b>: Have you tried the Mary Kay makeup studio? You know how much she adores that crap.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>SISTER BERNICE</b>: We’ve looked in all the usual places.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>REVEREND MOTHER</b>: Well, considering it’s Georgina, I suggest you</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">look in <i>un</i>usual places.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>SISTER SOPHIA</b>: I think we should give Georgina a break. After all, the wool of a black sheep is just as warm.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>REVEREND MOTHER</b>: We are not talking about sheep; we are talking </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">about Project Runway judges ... oh, I guess we <i>are</i> talking about sheep.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The nuns all have a good laugh.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>REVEREND MOTHER</b>: Seriously, though, how do we solve a problem like Georgina? </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The nuns agree that it is impossible to hold a moonbeam in your hand, so they just get a bunch of random guest judges and pray that Georgina will be back next week.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>ALYSSA MILANO</b>: The runway’s alive with the looks of All Stars. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The same looks we’ve seen for a thousand years. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Now, Marge Simpson will tell us about her favorite things.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>MARGE SIMPSON</b>: Raindrops on roses and poly organza; </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Dinner with Homer is such a bonanza; </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Hot dinner date dresses tied up with strings; </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">These are a few of my favorite things. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">When the wine comes; when the beer spills; when I’m feeling amorous; </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I simply remember to unzip my dress and then Homer gets all clamorous.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Really? Clamorous?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>MARGE SIMPSON</b>: Yes, clamorous. It’s a word. Look, I have three children; I don’t have time to come up with better lyrics.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">In the next scene, Zanna Roberts Rassi shows up in the design room to meet the designers and check on their progress:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>DESIGNERS</b>: You don’t look like a mentor.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>ZANNA ROBERTS RASSI</b>: Well, you don’t look like All Stars. You’re going to have to change these dresses.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>DESIGNERS</b>: But we don’t have any other dresses. When we agreed to be on Project Runway, all of our worldly possessions were given to the poor.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>ZANNA ROBERTS RASSI</b>: What about <i>these</i> dresses?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>DESIGNERS</b>: The poor didn’t want them.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The designers are sent to Mood and then they make dresses out of used curtains.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>SETH AARON</b>: I’m going to make six new dresses so everyone will have play clothes!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Jeffrey is really struggling with this challenge:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>JEFFREY</b>: D’oh! I’m really screwing up. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Ray, I really need some sun. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Me, the one who's screwing up. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Far, I never will get done! </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">So, I don’t know how to sew. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">La, I don’t know why I’m here! </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Tea ...</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>HOMER SIMPSON</b>: No, thanks, I’m drinking beer.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>JEFFREY</b>: That will bring us back to d’oh!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Christopher is also struggling. He meets secretly with Viktor in the Brother Sewing Room:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>VIKTOR</b>: Psst ... hey, Christopher, are you in here?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: Viktor!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>VIKTOR</b>: Why, hello. I came by to deliver a telegram. Aren’t you supposed to be to done with your dress by now.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: Well, yes, but don’t tell. I’ve missed you. Have you missed me?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>VIKTOR</b>: Yes. I even thought of sending you a telegram so I could deliver it to you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: Oh, Viktor, that's a lovely thought! </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>VIKTOR</b>: You are twenty-five going on twenty-six. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Baby, it’s time to think. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Better beware, be canny and careful, baby</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">, you’re on the brink. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">You need someone older and wiser telling you what to do. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I am thirty-three going on thirty-four. I’ll take care of you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: I am twenty-five going on twenty-six, innocent as a rose. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Women’s cartoon lives, middle-aged housewives: what do I know of those? </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Totally unprepared am I to face this confusing task. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Timid and shy and clueless am I of the things that the judges ask. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I need someone older and wiser telling me what to do. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">You are thirty-three going on thirty-four. I’ll depend on you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The designers introduce themselves and compete in the Springfield runway festival:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>KORTO</b>: I’m Korto. I’ve been married for fourteen years and I don’t need a governess. I made a stretch sequin dress in midnight blue with a shirtwaist hem.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I’m glad you told me, Korto. We’ll just be friends. I think your look is a nice variation on a little black dress. It would be a good addition to Marge’s wardrobe and perfect for a dinner date night.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CHRISTOPHER</b>: I’m Christopher. I made a floral-print strapless dress and I’m impossible.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Really? Who told you that? Viktor?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>VIKTOR</b>: I’m Viktor. I made a short metallic dress and I want a pink parasol for my birthday.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>ELENA</b>: I’m Elena. I made a red gown with a black jacket and I’m crazy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>JEFFREY</b>: I’m Seth Aaron.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">You didn’t tell us about your dress, <i>Jeffrey</i>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>SETH AARON</b>: <i>I’m</i> Seth Aaron! I made a perfectly decent purple gown you can find in any store in the country. He’s Jeffrey and that’s the ugliest dress I’ve ever seen!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: You shouldn’t say that!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>SETH AARON</b>: Why not? Don’t you think so?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: Yes, but you still shouldn’t say it. I’m Irina. I made a short purple dress with a long chiffon skirt and I’m incorrigible.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Congratulations.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>IRINA</b>: What’s incorrigible?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I think it means you won this challenge. That purple dress is a bit much for a dinner date, but it did look cute animated. Korto and Elena round out the top three.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CAPTAIN ISAAC MIZRAHI</b>: Models, get out of those ridiculous clothes and change for Marge Simpson immediately. Hurry up.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The bottom three designers are Jeffrey, Christopher, and Seth Aaron:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CAPTAIN ISAAC MIZRAHI</b>: Designers, where did you get these abominations? Out of a nightmare?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>DESIGNERS</b>: No, we made them out of the drapes that were hanging at Mood.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CAPTAIN ISSAC MIZRAHI</b>: Do you mean to tell me these models have been all around Springfield wearing those clothes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>DESIGNERS</b>: Yes, and they’ve become very popular. Everyone smiles at them.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CAPTAIN ISAAC MIZRAHI</b>: I don’t wonder.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>DESIGNERS</b>: They say, “Oh, look. There go the All Stars and their models!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CAPTAIN ISAAC MIZRAHI</b>: Well, I look and wonder about your taste level. Especially you, Jeffrey.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>JEFFREY</b>: Captain, designers cannot do things they are supposed to do if they have to worry about your precious taste level!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CAPTAIN ISAAC MIZRAHI</b>: I don’t care to hear anything further from you about my taste level!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>JEFFREY</b>: I am not finished yet, Captain!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>CAPTAIN ISAAC MIZRAHI</b>: Oh, yes you are! Jeffrey, you will pack your bags at once.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>JEFFREY</b>: So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, good night. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I hate to leave and end this silly fight. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, adieu. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Adieu, adieu, it’s been a lot to go through. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">So long, farewell, au revoir, Auf Wiedersehen. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I really can’t believe that I’m not stayin’. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, goodbye. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I’m going to that great runway in the sky.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The sun has gone to bed and so must I ... </span></span></div>
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eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-76515332725905928282013-11-23T20:34:00.000-08:002023-03-20T09:55:30.924-07:00<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Project Runway All Stars Season Three, Episode Five: Bonnie and Clyde: Catching Fire!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> This challenge is inspired by the hottest new fashion trend: star crossed lovers! And it’s all thanks to the new Bonnie and Clyde sequel, which will be simulcast on Lifetime, A&E, and the Weather Channel!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Are you saying a current fashion trend is the result of an upcoming television movie?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> No, I’m saying this <i>challenge</i> is the result of an upcoming television movie. Maybe the movie is the result of a current fashion trend. Did you ever think of that? Why do you keep asking me these stupid questions?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Well, just so you know, Carolyn Murphy already told us about this “hot” new fashion trend almost a year ago, in episode eight of All Stars season two. So, what’s new about this challenge?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> More violence?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">OK. I can work with that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So, when we last saw Bonnie and Clyde, they had just been in an intense gun battle. We pick up the story at that point:</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdvxLyeMtnNYOO6SejKWN_ZU_Q8RIESOOUoa7boRN88dByc1kzAvyoYeir_RYYeupsK7H5q21QuVnyhEnq2QFEDvsAhyjDJL3yEuqRQaC_fxwDwHzbHqhhEQOxc7NmhdVAZTlJ/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+2.27.46+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdvxLyeMtnNYOO6SejKWN_ZU_Q8RIESOOUoa7boRN88dByc1kzAvyoYeir_RYYeupsK7H5q21QuVnyhEnq2QFEDvsAhyjDJL3yEuqRQaC_fxwDwHzbHqhhEQOxc7NmhdVAZTlJ/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+2.27.46+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">nope. still dead.</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I don't understand this challenge. This is the silliest idea since <i>The Further Adventures of Hedda Gabler</i>. Besides being dead, Bonnie and Clyde wore pretty basic clothes for the time, so updating that look to today would result in pretty basic clothes for today. Maybe we need to go back to the beginning of this story of star crossed lovers:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">From the Treaty of the Treason: In Penance for appearing on earlier seasons of Project Runway, the eight remaining designers shall form teams of two and offer up a menswear and womenswear design at a public runway show. These tributes shall be delivered to the custody of the studio, where they will fight to the death, until a lone victor remains. Henceforth and forevermore this pageant shall be known as The Runway Games.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! Happy Runway Games. And may the odds be ever in your favor. Now, before we begin, we have a very special film brought to you all the way from Parsons. President Mizrahi can’t be here this week but he did the voiceover for this film:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>President Mizrahi:</b> War. Terrible war. Widows. Orphans. A motherless child. This was the uprising that rocked our show. Former Project Runway designers rebelled against the show that fed them, loved them, protected them. Brother sewing machine turned on Brother sewing machine until nothing remained. And then came the peace. Hard fought. Sorely won. The designers rose up from the ashes and a new era of All Stars was born. But freedom has a cost and the traitors were eliminated. We swore we would never know this treason again. And so it was decreed that the various seasons of Project Runway would offer up in tribute contestants to design to the death in a pageant of honor, courage, and sacrifice. The lone victor bathed in a prize package worth half a million dollars and a guest editor position at Marie Claire, which will serve as a reminder of our generosity and our forgiveness. This is how we remember our past. This is how we safeguard our future.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> Ooh, I always find that so moving! Now comes the time to select the teams that will design the looks for the 74th annual Runway Games. Christopher...</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey:</b> No! I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> Well, I believe we have a volunteer.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOB1NGSM9U034ub4EpBMow6aaoLv57ugr9fooVJMjuyhDWwUUCzajCdQSyuMpKvPhiPYndBuO-Ai5d5UL6t7U1ZNvA7ihyphenhyphen1aAYRDhH782a3Ye0bbTn47Nxg3o-mpad4Fhu2nnq/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+3.33.53+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOB1NGSM9U034ub4EpBMow6aaoLv57ugr9fooVJMjuyhDWwUUCzajCdQSyuMpKvPhiPYndBuO-Ai5d5UL6t7U1ZNvA7ihyphenhyphen1aAYRDhH782a3Ye0bbTn47Nxg3o-mpad4Fhu2nnq/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+3.33.53+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Host Alyssa Milano and All Star Jeffrey</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So, here are the teams of star crossed lovers from the 12 seasons of Project Runway: Jeffrey is teamed with Seth Aaron. Christopher is teamed with Viktor. Irina is teamed with Mychael. Korto is teamed with Elena.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Elena:</b> I can’t believe Viktor didn’t pick me. I often think back to that time several days ago when I was feeding my pigs in the rain and I threw that loaf of bread out in the mud because Viktor was hungry and needed my help. I should have gone to him. I should have gone out into the rain. But then, instead of being grateful, he totally stole my inspiration for using broken rulers. I will destroy him!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The designers go to Mood. It’s more luxurious than any of them could imagine:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> I think it's one of the wonderful things about this opportunity, that even though you're here and even though it's just for a little while, you get to enjoy all of this! I’m going to find Zanna. She’s probably in the bar.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Zanna enters the design room, drunk and belligerent:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey:</b> So, what should we do?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Zanna Roberts Rassi:</b> Wow, you’re so eager.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey:</b> Yeah, you’re our mentor. You’re supposed to give us advice.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Zanna Roberts Rassi:</b> Oh. OK. Here’s my advice: embrace the probability of your imminent elimination and know in your hearts that there is nothing I can do to save you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey:</b> Then why are you here?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Zanna Roberts Rassi:</b> The refreshments.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj8gjUP_OidtJImBl-IoUwcmnHUob5rZA7TfSoHzzdWmhrKFl-81afmBY_qX2yzWBsApzWJV5u52pLv0P1QYl-MmC1CDS0D1um7WGswnzNQof_eRudVmkv4HHw3g4ecqFhJ8oP/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+5.49.04+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="391" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj8gjUP_OidtJImBl-IoUwcmnHUob5rZA7TfSoHzzdWmhrKFl-81afmBY_qX2yzWBsApzWJV5u52pLv0P1QYl-MmC1CDS0D1um7WGswnzNQof_eRudVmkv4HHw3g4ecqFhJ8oP/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+5.49.04+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mentor Zanna Roberts Rassi</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The next day Zanna has sobered up and she is being a bit more helpful:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Zanna Roberts Rassi:</b> You really want to know how to stay on this show? You get sponsors. Oh, not what you were expecting? Well, when you're in the middle of a challenge and you're freaking out, some eyeshadow, hairspray, or even a belt can mean the difference between life and death. And those things only come from sponsors, and to get sponsors, you have to cause drama. And right now, Jeffrey, you're not off to a very good start.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi72aj6sNoZe6Dd5v6IhFRKZxfuHkdepcXswqDK5wuyLxD1uTs2Y8hHMhIwyrGEWAgfYaU1U8k1cXk7IJIfLgGXgFWYWVg9Ke0R01TdUIC9Mo5ny-gieq2AUh7Zv3gNuDeI5YxO/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+5.51.56+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi72aj6sNoZe6Dd5v6IhFRKZxfuHkdepcXswqDK5wuyLxD1uTs2Y8hHMhIwyrGEWAgfYaU1U8k1cXk7IJIfLgGXgFWYWVg9Ke0R01TdUIC9Mo5ny-gieq2AUh7Zv3gNuDeI5YxO/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+5.51.56+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A gift from the QVC accessory wall: soup again?</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Jeffrey does his best to be dramatic and win sponsors for the show. He has a fit because his model went to the gym a couple of times and now he is the first designer in history to work with a model that doesn’t have the exact measurements listed. He shoots an apple out of the mouth of a roasted pig. Everyone is shocked. The reaction shots to this meltdown give the producers an opportunity to show one of the male models in a pair of very flimsy underpants. And they manage to show this shot twice by including it in the upcoming scenes before the commercial break. It works. The ratings for the show go through the roof!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Jeffrey meets his stylist, Lenny Kravitz:</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv6yjOebgrCaQ-2BXSgnozFc2Jqy5sfNakE6I37xCJTq3PgLzRUZsy9w_ZqpvpR_VuWejW8cLR9tH_Uhp9ZLoUZy5JZDKJaGWwxD1w7MA9lJryhK4nRrfB_R5vDuh2jYEuymNN/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+5.42.07+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv6yjOebgrCaQ-2BXSgnozFc2Jqy5sfNakE6I37xCJTq3PgLzRUZsy9w_ZqpvpR_VuWejW8cLR9tH_Uhp9ZLoUZy5JZDKJaGWwxD1w7MA9lJryhK4nRrfB_R5vDuh2jYEuymNN/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+5.42.07+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stylist Lenny Kravitz and All Star Jeffrey</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Lenny Kravitz: </b>That was one of the bravest things I've ever seen, having a meltdown just to improve the show’s ratings.<b> </b>I'm sorry that this happened to you and I'm here to help you in any way that I can.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey: </b>Most people just congratulate me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Lenny Kravitz: </b>Well, I don't see the point in that. So tonight they have the tribute runway, they're going to take you out and show you off to the world.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey: </b>So you're here to make me look pretty?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Lenny Kravitz:</b> I'm here to help you make an impression. Now, I want to do something that they're going to remember. I just think somebody in a look inspired by the 1930s shouldn't be dressed up in some stupid costume, now, should they?</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The tribute runway</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Well, no, they should not be in stupid costumes. And yet, that’s mostly what we ended up. Either costumes or looks that had nothing to do with the 1930s. So, on to the tribute runway, with random judges Bar Rafaeli, Elie Tahari, and Austin Scarlett.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The judging panel was a mess this week</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Bar Rafaeli: </b>Over one hundred thousand people craning to get a glimpse at this year's tributes. And the sponsors get to see the tributes for the first time. The importance of this moment cannot be overstated.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Elie Tahari: </b>There they are! There they are! </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Austin Scarlett:</b> This season's tributes!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Bar Rafaeli: </b>It looks exciting.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Elie Tahari: </b>It just gives you goose bumps.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Bar Rafaeli: </b>Wait a minute ... Elie, I think those are tracker jackers. Am I wrong?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Elie Tahari: </b>Oh, those things are very lethal.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Austin Scarlett: </b>Very. For those of you who don't know, tracker jackers are genetically engineered wasps with venom that causes dizziness and poor judgement.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">A swarm a tracker jackers falls on the judges. Things get a little weird:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Bar Rafaeli:</b> I really like Christopher’s look because the model scares me. I don’t like Jeffrey’s look because the model scares me. I have no idea what I’m talking about.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Elie Tahari:</b> I don’t think two different fabrics can be used in the same garment.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Austin Scarlett:</b> Well, you’re both wrong. I think I’m on fire!!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Alyssa makes an announcement:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> Attention, designers. Attention. Don’t worry, this isn’t a twist. The regulation requiring a single victor has been suspended. From now on, two victors may be crowned if both originate from the same team. This will be the only announcement.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Oh, my gosh! A double win?!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano: </b>Attention. Attention, designers. I have another announcement. There's been a slight rule change. The previous revision allowing for two victors from the same team has been revoked. Only one victor may be crowned. But the winner will get a screen credit for costume design in a Lifetime movie. Good luck. And may the odds be ever in your favor.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jeffrey's winning coat</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Oh. OK. Well, Jeffrey wins. Now, what about the elimination?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Bar Rafeaeli: </b>Don't eliminate Mychael. You'll just create a martyr.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Elie Tahari: </b>Well it seems we've already got one.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Austin Scarlett: </b>Elie, why do you think we have a winner?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Elie Tahari: </b>What do you mean?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Austin Scarlett: </b>I mean, why do we have a winner? If we just wanted to intimidate the designers, why not round up the All Stars at random, and eliminate them all at one? It would be a lot faster.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Bar and Elie look at Austin like he’s crazy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Austin Scarlett:</b> I'll tell you why we have a winner: Hope.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Elie Tahari: </b>Hope?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Austin Scarlett: </b>Yes, hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective. A lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is fine, as long as it's contained.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Bar Rafaeli: </b>So?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Austin Scarlett: </b>So, contain it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Mychael is eliminated. Sorry, Mychael.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE6WOO9dtw8kGsZb3pRKMIIWQZnm5EbZVelS2FoZBUD8fuLLd7deBKIKAxa4evg_wp4NOmp6GCeSTgEUIVZOJIfXlb0PNuP_PpLLOUBGrd2tb1uK4CTmKg85exp62RRGnf6mdb/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+5.23.41+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE6WOO9dtw8kGsZb3pRKMIIWQZnm5EbZVelS2FoZBUD8fuLLd7deBKIKAxa4evg_wp4NOmp6GCeSTgEUIVZOJIfXlb0PNuP_PpLLOUBGrd2tb1uK4CTmKg85exp62RRGnf6mdb/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-23+at+5.23.41+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Season Three!</td></tr>
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eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-81084078805561342262013-11-15T18:47:00.000-08:002023-03-18T11:11:40.292-07:00<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Project Runway All Stars Season Three, Episode Four: Back to School!</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNlXxsuRpO-B-sbZdCk-Uik1yQ8KC3-PFx2gLXaX7nCa_D-PQCr2CQnqBukjNxvLOsEYb37-d9Uf5wgOfRl3tSzCu3CWvOgnbCf8fT3U-eSRAEEleA9XXqmq6-_v1jGFdtH5Y-/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+1.48.18+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNlXxsuRpO-B-sbZdCk-Uik1yQ8KC3-PFx2gLXaX7nCa_D-PQCr2CQnqBukjNxvLOsEYb37-d9Uf5wgOfRl3tSzCu3CWvOgnbCf8fT3U-eSRAEEleA9XXqmq6-_v1jGFdtH5Y-/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+1.48.18+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rodney Dangerfield performs the legendary Triple Lindy</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> This week we are bringing back a classic Project Runway challenge!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Ooh, I hope it’s that challenge from season three where Rodney Dangerfield went to college in order to help Malan Breton make the diving team!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> Oh, yeah, that was a good one. But no, we are going to a school that specializes in art in order to let your inner artist run wild!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Oh, I know! It’s that challenge from season nine where the designers went to the Harlem School for the Arts and teamed up with student painters!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> No. Please stop guessing now. I’ll tell you what the challenge is. I went to the producers and said, “I think it’s time to bring back this classic challenge. People are still talking about it after all this time, so let’s try to repeat that success.” And they said, “Alyssa, you are a freaking genius.” So here it is! Ready for this classic challenge that I decided to bring back for this season of All Stars?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sock it to me!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> It’s the unconventional materials challenge!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Huh? Which one?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> What do you mean? Maybe you are unfamiliar with this challenge. Let me explain. The designers have to make clothes out of unconventional materials. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Yeah, we know what an unconventional materials challenge is. We have one every season. That doesn't really qualify as "bringing back a classic challenge."</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> Really? OK, well, how about the season seven challenge where Arnold Schwarzenegger went undercover and took Tim’s place as mentor and the designers’ whining gave him a headache and Emilio Sosa suggested that maybe it was a tumor and he responded by saying that it was not a tumor?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Classic Project Runway.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> Great, we’ll do that one then.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The designers have four minutes to ransack a classroom, grab school supplies, and save Penelope Ann Miller from her drug dealer ex-husband.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil7d6wEekCrSnjP_aeuSCvWIQ1HJHo9EP_1joWAgMEd9mNE40qIqx8zXi9thl0qAoMYlyNc10vCz1Hb-iCy4IxRl97CBjU8ROc02EAJs9gSWkLnWsHjocor48yKjj978hso8Y8/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+1.01.54+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil7d6wEekCrSnjP_aeuSCvWIQ1HJHo9EP_1joWAgMEd9mNE40qIqx8zXi9thl0qAoMYlyNc10vCz1Hb-iCy4IxRl97CBjU8ROc02EAJs9gSWkLnWsHjocor48yKjj978hso8Y8/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+1.01.54+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This week, at Parsons</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Elena:</b> I can’t believe it! You totally stole my inspiration! You were doing one movie and then you completely changed your post to another movie! What am I supposed to do now? I’m ruined! I’ll be stuck in the top three again! Why does this always happen to me?!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I think you’re overreacting.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Christopher:</b> No, I totally saw you steal her inspiration.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Irina:</b> I don’t know why Elena is giving you movie inspirations anyway. This is a competition!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey:</b> I don’t remember anyone saying my dress had to be wearable!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Nobody has even criticized your garment yet, Jeffrey.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey:</b> I know. I’m just practicing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Zanna makes her rounds and announces a twist:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Zanna:</b> In keeping with the theme of the challenge, the makeup this week will be done by small children using the new Mary Kay At Play line of cosmetics, based on the idea that your actual lips are only a vague suggestion of where your lip color should go:</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijSzLHVp-5OUKb62R8A67FeK5CTo-a8U270yY3a04Fm16KX7mWEtkNCBfmkIhvmkqYgTggBWQKoUKbCbDjSwC7ieWtaog938UDpyfzs7bGzyOJM1jc-WpSfxs4qJ33yYclJdi0/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+1.53.21+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijSzLHVp-5OUKb62R8A67FeK5CTo-a8U270yY3a04Fm16KX7mWEtkNCBfmkIhvmkqYgTggBWQKoUKbCbDjSwC7ieWtaog938UDpyfzs7bGzyOJM1jc-WpSfxs4qJ33yYclJdi0/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+1.53.21+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Close enough!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjxpGM8ugBdf3K6d8A3OvdIjfQVBdVp8I7LZOXXna_NY6wXheR5cKV1tWzG5cukhFz7bI9Pan51xQup_2TcaCHyYCM6dfaF8ZgKaIb1blGuPm5KF4b9iSdm3fkhyeLRbNEU7iw/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.05.42+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="374" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjxpGM8ugBdf3K6d8A3OvdIjfQVBdVp8I7LZOXXna_NY6wXheR5cKV1tWzG5cukhFz7bI9Pan51xQup_2TcaCHyYCM6dfaF8ZgKaIb1blGuPm5KF4b9iSdm3fkhyeLRbNEU7iw/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.05.42+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You go, girl!</td></tr>
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On to the runway, with Alyssa, Georgina, Isaac, and actors Arnold Schwarzenegger and Penelope Ann Miller.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPJz1OGnMiwuZdU6Y1GDoW5cIMuE6D6AHqfpVzqQlRHv7VbaW62DPDMiyW3_sypFyJE0GQOp_E1sgQpOcZPfuudVN81vLEINCbcgOJfp2NC0cjztiKNVnJKH-DlVUoWU9uC9ci/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+1.04.33+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPJz1OGnMiwuZdU6Y1GDoW5cIMuE6D6AHqfpVzqQlRHv7VbaW62DPDMiyW3_sypFyJE0GQOp_E1sgQpOcZPfuudVN81vLEINCbcgOJfp2NC0cjztiKNVnJKH-DlVUoWU9uC9ci/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+1.04.33+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Honorable mention this week goes to Irina, who created a really pretty, fun dress:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih01kCxMterejIvucZJ_xh92ZJ1eM7VqdlcWq5ztyNF_uSCti0PcXMAneI1Jr_S-0j87x3QXrx2dZjT5581aWX3a9Kzbj1CesVVHnbkrNsNhnPUCUXXOzQLrMv6ADatbq947tS/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.14.07+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih01kCxMterejIvucZJ_xh92ZJ1eM7VqdlcWq5ztyNF_uSCti0PcXMAneI1Jr_S-0j87x3QXrx2dZjT5581aWX3a9Kzbj1CesVVHnbkrNsNhnPUCUXXOzQLrMv6ADatbq947tS/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.14.07+PM.png" width="253" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Irina's should have been in the top three</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Elena, Viktor, and Christopher had the top designs.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHzzv-ua3mE3npBD2kveaw3kwZqFx7EP2aPALchAXaKpms1U5O5RFAWfgBJenYdruZns25e6miqnuNv6lyZqHDnU8WoF9kn0isVW3BnTWaaOtJ8oMKqo_Uqz3Gb7PhxGDIrmKb/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.13.11+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHzzv-ua3mE3npBD2kveaw3kwZqFx7EP2aPALchAXaKpms1U5O5RFAWfgBJenYdruZns25e6miqnuNv6lyZqHDnU8WoF9kn0isVW3BnTWaaOtJ8oMKqo_Uqz3Gb7PhxGDIrmKb/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.13.11+PM.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elena's nice but expected dress</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNL4LTQKPaprt5XUVug_r0mMHWjG96Hg1-xJc90xoFOiEiqJSWpy3FGWGgmvOW2IFEqluLG6_z6HsbRSAHBvu6m00CXJrc46_LAy2n_DRpEW0ZHkzRCFtsxMS-P7X1jCI6U2kZ/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.18.00+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNL4LTQKPaprt5XUVug_r0mMHWjG96Hg1-xJc90xoFOiEiqJSWpy3FGWGgmvOW2IFEqluLG6_z6HsbRSAHBvu6m00CXJrc46_LAy2n_DRpEW0ZHkzRCFtsxMS-P7X1jCI6U2kZ/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.18.00+PM.png" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Viktor's beautiful dress</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj21Eef5rHvw70RFZoOv6lLbHs4gy8eZ0bkqu6_Ch5iE-cTx8ncOAeIkqHiH95au-81aVB83ttlP8d5HlxLkeFFDJZvX1fL7GAvU5lajiWDaplC4M4NW0h06kngEpGiTxTRo4Qh/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.11.39+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj21Eef5rHvw70RFZoOv6lLbHs4gy8eZ0bkqu6_Ch5iE-cTx8ncOAeIkqHiH95au-81aVB83ttlP8d5HlxLkeFFDJZvX1fL7GAvU5lajiWDaplC4M4NW0h06kngEpGiTxTRo4Qh/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.11.39+PM.png" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Christopher's elaborately constructed sob story</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Christopher's dress was certainly dramatic and flattering, but it also felt like something we've seen a million times before. And, unlike Penelope Ann Miller on the judging panel, I did not immediately get the reference to bullying from this.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Christopher:</b> Growing up gay was really hard. So I made this dress.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLDQF5ddS9UyGQQIX-vSEaolA3fJAnJv5yKGhA3lKjcNl5vhTYQ_MkfyMNO_5KwSixFbzelEMzbWsQ_8giELvCdD7HhihhHG5uXb9N-nmdRQ-B1HoWoQmbrWLWS_yuzabw44w_/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+1.04.02+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLDQF5ddS9UyGQQIX-vSEaolA3fJAnJv5yKGhA3lKjcNl5vhTYQ_MkfyMNO_5KwSixFbzelEMzbWsQ_8giELvCdD7HhihhHG5uXb9N-nmdRQ-B1HoWoQmbrWLWS_yuzabw44w_/s320/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+1.04.02+PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Isaac feels manipulated by Christopher's story</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Isaac:</b> What's the big deal? So, you were tortured to the point of suicide. Walk it off!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I kind of get where Isaac is coming from. The story seemed a little bit manufactured to pull on the judges' heartstrings. Unlike, for instance, Dom, who seemed genuinely excited to be promoting equality in the bow tie challenge last season, Christopher just seemed to be feeling sorry for himself. I guess when the dress is used in the Mary Kay advertisement, he will mention that bullying is bad and maybe he'll change the mind of that one Marie Claire reader who had, up until that point, thought bullying was a good thing. Maybe that dress will change the world. What do I know.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Jeffrey, Mychael, and Korto were the bottom three:</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhaS59FLMMajZYDu97Mqfd-vkvKuCNhJ5AgwNxrNf2cHi_STJExZ6xv-1J_1AJLInMJOo2-ap19cD_xGuvOzUHjQazJ6diqj43SPBwLegLoS6HCUQUxofInDP-JvE4EwctyuJK/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.15.05+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhaS59FLMMajZYDu97Mqfd-vkvKuCNhJ5AgwNxrNf2cHi_STJExZ6xv-1J_1AJLInMJOo2-ap19cD_xGuvOzUHjQazJ6diqj43SPBwLegLoS6HCUQUxofInDP-JvE4EwctyuJK/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.15.05+PM.png" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jeffrey realized his vision, terrible as it was</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi74c0hkyirBU9_Dtt_3s4YuKtCY7FGZVejpjK9Lykr1nVehYfHpuLWeGNDCqveBj8sY7YzWDWKF1KIEcG00nBbRm09qTW36mDSgbIXYbsPBlFNoI6yrnwZ3RbHwxpV6PA4eVtD/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.15.45+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi74c0hkyirBU9_Dtt_3s4YuKtCY7FGZVejpjK9Lykr1nVehYfHpuLWeGNDCqveBj8sY7YzWDWKF1KIEcG00nBbRm09qTW36mDSgbIXYbsPBlFNoI6yrnwZ3RbHwxpV6PA4eVtD/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.15.45+PM.png" width="208" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mychael's does look better if you close your eyes</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuUUzOJyo7G28ojZRR48skhktq-50IY0Z-tKWbnX1d5QSW8AvvR77aHf-Xa92rZzMkMB5Ldtuf2FJJw6aSMyf3JiMZpmgfqQAKwDGsqHofr98twjszSkpiUQ9Ix4S7nolWdgxc/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.15.22+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuUUzOJyo7G28ojZRR48skhktq-50IY0Z-tKWbnX1d5QSW8AvvR77aHf-Xa92rZzMkMB5Ldtuf2FJJw6aSMyf3JiMZpmgfqQAKwDGsqHofr98twjszSkpiUQ9Ix4S7nolWdgxc/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-15+at+2.15.22+PM.png" width="195" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Korto's was a disaster, but the neck piece is nice</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> We are bringing back a classic Project Runway elimination! Remember that episode where nobody was eliminated?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Why are you doing this?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> We can’t think of any reason to send anyone home this week.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I have a reason for you: the bottom three garments were awful.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano:</b> I mean besides that.</span></span></div>
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eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-30025660039878054132013-11-09T20:50:00.001-08:002023-03-20T09:56:14.842-07:00<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Project Runway All Stars Season Three, Episode Three: The Great Jay-Z!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">[The Episode opens with Alyssa Milano talking to her doctor in a well-appointed room of a psychiatric hospital]</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice. "Always try to see the best in people," he would say. As a consequence, I'm inclined to reserve all judgments. But even I have limits. Back then ...</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Doctor</b>: Back when?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: Oh, sorry. I’m narrating this story. It all happened Thursday but I’m going to make it sound like it happened a long time ago. And there will be breaks in the narration in which the characters will be speaking. I know it’s a really annoying way to tell a story, but you’re just going to have to deal with it. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Back then, all of the designers drank too much, except for Jeffrey and Elena, who ordered virgin cocktails. But the rest of them drank too much. And flirted pathetically with the bartender. The more in tune with the times they were, the more they drank. And none of them contributed anything new. I was disgusted. Disgusted with everyone and everything. Only one man was exempt from my disgust. Jay-Z. He was the single most hopeful person I've ever met and I'm ever likely to meet again. There was something about him -- a sensitivity. He was like one of those machines that register earthquakes 10,000 miles away. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Doctor</b>: Where did you meet him?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: We met at his 40/40 club in West Egg, Long Island. In the autumn of 2013 the tempo of the country approached hysteria. Stocks reached record peaks. The parties were bigger. The shows were broader. The buildings were higher. The accessory walls were sadder. And the ban on alcohol had backfired, making the liquor cheaper. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_xwg9j8UQppYcXWeTJmS5E4PKFDoHG0Ip_M4Q1Ya5vZLIBaNncBLtft0L1mvL93l2-poN17UhKSNNTVpwUh9hdyiUHCtOaHLaZEaKgPuuBwX3fFemB9a3zp5tS77lTOGVrmVa/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+2.46.11+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_xwg9j8UQppYcXWeTJmS5E4PKFDoHG0Ip_M4Q1Ya5vZLIBaNncBLtft0L1mvL93l2-poN17UhKSNNTVpwUh9hdyiUHCtOaHLaZEaKgPuuBwX3fFemB9a3zp5tS77lTOGVrmVa/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+2.46.11+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This week, at Parsons</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Doctor</b>: Soooo ... you’re saying this challenge had something to do with cocktail parties?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: Cocktail parties ... Yeah. When I think about it, the history of this challenge really began that night I drove over to my cousin </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><em style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Beyoncé's</span></em></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> for dinner. She lived across the bay in old money East Egg. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><em style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Beyoncé,</span></em></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> The Golden Girl. A breathless warmth flowed from her. A promise that there was no one else in the world she so wanted to see.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">[break from narration to live action]</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><em style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Beyoncé</b></span></em></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">: Did they miss me in Chicago?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: Were you supposed to be in that movie?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><em style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Beyoncé</b></span></em></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">: No, dummy. The city. You were just in Chicago.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: Oh, right. Yes, they’re absolutely in mourning. They’re crying “Beyonce, we can’t live without you!”</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><em style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Beyoncé</b></span></em></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">: I'm paralyzed with happiness!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqam8QFzWQ-XmenDrrlyoIniQUi05qc2hq2GK7mDUAyCtznS3G8DXreiUIp6kcclFeM8MfF33F-px0BH5_5WVX6ETm2xncj2TM5hGfIm9ILnAue-7-TdXTGbxxJzYG3uAfh7G1/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+2.43.58+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqam8QFzWQ-XmenDrrlyoIniQUi05qc2hq2GK7mDUAyCtznS3G8DXreiUIp6kcclFeM8MfF33F-px0BH5_5WVX6ETm2xncj2TM5hGfIm9ILnAue-7-TdXTGbxxJzYG3uAfh7G1/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+2.43.58+PM.png" width="206" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; line-height: 14px;"><em style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Beyoncé</span></em></span> in Christopher's cocktail dress</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">[back to narration]</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: I had been drunk just twice in my life. And the second time was during this episode’s runway show. That night in the Project Runway studio we were buoyed by a sort of chemical madness. A willingness of the heart that burst thunderously upon us all. And suddenly, I began to like Viktor’s look and Christopher’s look and also Elena’s look, but not enough to want to wear it. So Viktor won the challenge and Christopher also sort of won the challenge but not really. High over the city, our windows must have contributed their share of human secrets to the casual viewer of the show. And I was the viewer too, looking up and wondering ... I was within ... and without ... enchanted and repelled ... by the inexhaustible variety of crap on the runway. I have no clue how I got home. But I do know that I awoke with the distinctly uneasy feeling that Jay-Z was watching me.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Doctor</b>: Watching you?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: Yes. Jay-Z was always watching me. I got an invitation. I was the only one. By which I mean no one except me ever received an actual invitation to Jay-Z’s. You see, the rest of New York simply came uninvited. The whole city packed into automobiles and all weekend, every weekend, ended up at Jay-Z’s. I mean, everyone from every walk of life and every corner of New York city. This kaleidoscopic carnival spilled in Jay-Z’s door. Caravans of billionaire playboys, publishers and their blond nurses, Rebecca Minkoff and Nate Berkus comparing accessories on Jay-Z’s beach, Georgina Chapman losing money at the roulette tables, gossip columnists alongside gangsters and governors exchanging telephone numbers. Film stars, Broadway directors, morality protectors, high school defectors, and Isaac Mizrahi, dubious descendant of Beethoven. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">[break from narration to live action]</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: Do you know where I might find the host, Mr. Jay-Z?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><em style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Beyoncé</b></span></em></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">: Jay-Z? What Jay-Z?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Isaac Mizrahi</b>: I've never seen Mr. Jay-Z. No one has.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Georgina Chapman</b>: I heard he was a German spy during the war!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Rebecca Minkoff</b>: I heard he’s third cousin to the Queen of England!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Nate Burkus</b>: I heard he stabbed someone!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: Well, I don't care! He gives large parties. And I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Jay-Z</b>: I'm afraid I haven't been a very good host, old sport. You see, I’m Jay-Z.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb40yLxirsUQKVHfnshc0aWil9NViIRVjemyXn8YxNpUfD17E-d0xr822z1oSa8C0gH1ODjvUCpjiVsC4dNXgr4811wwjIuTpVWHj7pA649tO-MgXyveeQrSK9h7W2JJJ-1eEY/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+2.43.02+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb40yLxirsUQKVHfnshc0aWil9NViIRVjemyXn8YxNpUfD17E-d0xr822z1oSa8C0gH1ODjvUCpjiVsC4dNXgr4811wwjIuTpVWHj7pA649tO-MgXyveeQrSK9h7W2JJJ-1eEY/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+2.43.02+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Drink up, old sport.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">[back to narration]</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: His smile was one of those rare smiles that you may come across four or five times in life. It seemed to understand you and believe in you, just as you would like to be understood and believed in.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Doctor</b>: What a coincidence that Jay-Z’s 40/40 club was just across the bay from </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><em style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Beyoncé</span></em></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">’s house.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: It was no coincidence. He founded that club to be near her. He agreed to do the score for this pointless Baz Luhrmann movie just so he could put her on the soundtrack. He threw all those cocktail parties and invited the All Stars, hoping she would wander in one night. And now he just wants the All Stars to design cocktail dresses and accessories? The modesty of it kind of takes the breath away, doesn't it?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Doctor</b>: Well, I agree it’s a bit odd.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: If only it had been enough for Jay-Z just to hold </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><em style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Beyoncé</span></em></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">. But he had a grand vision for his life and </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><em style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Beyoncé</span></em></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">’s part in it. It wasn't until the end of that challenge, on the last night I saw Jay-Z, that he told me of the life he had dreamed for himself since he was a boy. You see, doctor, Jay-Z isn’t his real name. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Doctor</b>: You’re kidding.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: No. His parents were farmers from North Dakota. But in his own imagination, he was destined for future glory. Chasing this destiny, a 16 year old Jay-Z spotted a yacht in peril. He rowed out and rescued the vessel and its captain, alcoholic millionaire Michael Kors. This was his opportunity, and he seized it. He sailed the yacht out of danger and into his future. And that’s how Jay-Z became famous. If you don’t believe me, check Wikipedia. And if Wikipedia says something different, it’s because some asshole changed the entry. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">[break from narration to live action. I know. Super annoying]</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: So, the bottom two are Jeffrey and Melissa.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQzVnRcI8p0x5oqgjZzeEHvobHXoRkSslZFJ-6ow-jWXyUxUj674HCJeoIhoGzT26t7NjhHCD7rpgljWkOTymVsTuWP_uaTdzFgOsl5UBBVFOHbhSq4dznmJxtWdp8eCBu_hUE/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+2.49.43+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQzVnRcI8p0x5oqgjZzeEHvobHXoRkSslZFJ-6ow-jWXyUxUj674HCJeoIhoGzT26t7NjhHCD7rpgljWkOTymVsTuWP_uaTdzFgOsl5UBBVFOHbhSq4dznmJxtWdp8eCBu_hUE/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+2.49.43+PM.png" width="341" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The judges don't like the crystals on Jeffrey's dress</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey</b>: I've been everywhere and seen everything and done everything. I had a very bad time. I'm pretty cynical about everything. I hope the judges will be fools and let me stay. That's the best thing judges in this world can be. Beautiful little fools. All the bright precious things fade so fast. And they don't come back.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: Jeffrey, I know you won before, but you can’t repeat the past.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey</b>: Can’t repeat the past? Why, of course you can, old sport. Of course you can.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: Well, Melissa's look is clearly better than Jeffrey's this week, but it isn’t enough for the judges to love Melissa. They have to say they never loved Jeffrey.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Judges</b>: Never?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: Never.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Judges</b>: Please don’t, Alyssa! You ask too much! We did love him once. We can’t help what’s past.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">[Jeffrey and Melissa drive off through the cooling twilight ... towards elimination. But who will it be?]</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey</b>: The judges rushed out at us as if they were trying to speak to us. It all happened so quickly! She tried — I mean, <i>I</i> tried to turn in time, but ...</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: <i>She</i>?!! It was <i>Melissa</i>?!!!</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Jeffrey</b>: Melissa was very nervous. She thought driving would calm her nerves. It was instantaneous. She didn’t feel a thing.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgszsAtUV3klrnt4EaFM4vo6RZ2Sm0NLXdIQ5FN-6lectIa_huF4tbGTfSNBladnkk4s8na6ldlLaKTEeFX4-4erL_9nqzLTNg9OO5KRkmk7Q-pKtwmipO1lOj-epE_VDrVj5qM/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+3.16.44+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgszsAtUV3klrnt4EaFM4vo6RZ2Sm0NLXdIQ5FN-6lectIa_huF4tbGTfSNBladnkk4s8na6ldlLaKTEeFX4-4erL_9nqzLTNg9OO5KRkmk7Q-pKtwmipO1lOj-epE_VDrVj5qM/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+3.16.44+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Melissa is out</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: They're a rotten crowd, Melissa. You're worth the whole damn bunch put together.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">[back to narration]</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px; min-height: 18px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: I was always glad I said that to Melissa. It was the only compliment I ever paid her. They were careless judges, Isaac and Georgina. They smashed up things and creatures, and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made. So, once again those beautiful little fools didn’t have the balls to get rid of Jeffrey. I thought of Melissa's wonder when she first picked out the green light at the end of the runway. She had come such a long way and her dream must have seemed so close that she could hardly fail to grasp it. But she did not know that it was already behind her, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night. Melissa believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter -- For the next challenge we will sew faster, stretch our fabric farther ... And one fine morning ... So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.</span></span></div>
<div style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal Times; margin: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRAwc9SBwUe54Ds__NtctiY29F0jeEsTEadQe67IF1EgCuRIkkjuMoHEc90BCk7jarE4lb8U-RFe2FPFAFGYJdWNMkJWpsiWMlfh-Guhpym-2lMVPqV2_aKwoVaPInCxnNFqtb/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+3.19.04+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRAwc9SBwUe54Ds__NtctiY29F0jeEsTEadQe67IF1EgCuRIkkjuMoHEc90BCk7jarE4lb8U-RFe2FPFAFGYJdWNMkJWpsiWMlfh-Guhpym-2lMVPqV2_aKwoVaPInCxnNFqtb/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-09+at+3.19.04+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can we go now?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></div>
eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-68492962395743485612013-11-02T20:24:00.000-07:002023-03-20T09:56:41.367-07:00<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Project Runway All Stars, Season Three, Episode Two: War of the All Stars!</span><br />
<br />
<b>Announcer</b>: The Columbia Broadcasting System and its affiliated stations
present Eric Three Thousand and the Mercury Theatre in <i>War of the All Stars</i> by H. G. Wells. Ladies and gentlemen, the director of the Mercury Theatre and
star of these broadcasts, Eric Three Thousand:<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> We know now that in the early years of the twenty-first century Project Runway was being watched closely by intelligences greater than ours and yet as mortal as our own. We know now that as the All Stars busied themselves
about their various concerns they were scrutinized and studied, perhaps almost
as narrowly as the bugs at the natural history museum. With infinite complacence the designers went to and fro from Mood, tending their little affairs, serene in the
assurance of their dominion over this small spinning fragment of the Project Runway universe, which by chance or design they had inherited out of the dark mystery of time and space. Yet across an immense ethereal gulf, minds that are to our minds as ours are
to the beasts in the jungle, intellects vast, cool and unsympathetic, regarded
this show with envious eyes and slowly and surely drew their plans against it.
In the third season of All Stars came the great
disillusionment. It was near the end of October. Business was better. The recession was over. More designers were back at work. Sales were picking up. On this
particular evening, October 31, the Nielsen service estimated that over thirty-two people were tuning in to Project Runway on their radios.<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Announcer</b>: For the next twenty-four hours not much change in
temperature. A slight atmospheric disturbance of undetermined origin is reported
over Nova Scotia, causing an area of high pressure moving rather rapidly toward Manhattan, bringing a forecast of hysteria and intermittent crying, accompanied by winds of light gale force and a chance of chiffon. This weather report comes
to you from the Government Weather Bureau. We now take you to the Meridian
Room in the Hotel Park Plaza in downtown New York, where you will be entertained
by the music of Ramón Raquello and his orchestra. <br />
<br />
(Music Plays)<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Announcer</b>: Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt our program of dance
music to bring you a special bulletin from the Intercontinental Radio News. At
twenty minutes before eight, central time, Professor Farrell of the Mount
Jennings Observatory, Chicago, Illinois, reports observing several explosions of
incandescent gas, occurring at regular intervals. The
spectroscope indicates the gas to be hydrogen and moving toward the earth with
enormous velocity. We'll probably all die. We now return you to the music of Ramón
Raquello, playing for you in the Meridian Room of the Park Plaza Hotel, situated
in downtown New York. <br />
<br />
(More Music)<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Announcer</b>: Ladies and gentlemen, following on the news given in our
bulletin a moment ago, the Government Meteorological Bureau has requested the
large observatories of the country to keep an astronomical watch on any further
disturbances. Due to the unusual nature of this
occurrence, we have arranged an interview with noted astronomer Professor Alyssa Milano, who will give us her views on the event. in a few moments we will take
you to the Parsons Observatory at Parsons. We return you until
then to the music of Ramón Raquello and his orchestra. <br />
<br />
(Still More Goddamn Music)<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Announcer</b>: We are now ready to take you to the Parsons Observatory
at Parsons where Eric Three Thousand, our commentator, will interview Professor
Alyssa Milano, famous astronomer. We take you now to Parsons.
<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Eric Three Thousand,
speaking to you from the Parsons observatory at Parsons. I am standing in a large
semi-circular room, pitch black except for an oblong split in the ceiling.
Through this opening I can see a sprinkling of All Stars that cast a kind of frosty
glow over the intricate mechanism of the design room. Professor Milano stands directly above
me on a small platform, peering through a giant lens. I ask you to be patient,
ladies and gentlemen, during any delay that may arise during our interview.
Besides her ceaseless watch of the All Stars, Professor Milano may be interrupted
by a telegram or carrier pigeon or possibly an important twitter message about the Kardashians. During this period she is in constant touch
with the astronomical centers of the world. Professor, would you please tell our radio audience exactly
what you see as you observe the All Stars through your telescope?<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Alyssa Milano:</b> Nothing unusual. The All Stars went to the natural history museum and picked out bugs that will be their inspiration for an avant garde challenge. It appears that Elena has lost her sketch and she is freaking out.<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> In your opinion, what do these freak-outs signify,
Professor? <br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Alyssa Milano:</b> It doesn't signify that she's going home this week, I can assure you, although that's the
popular conjecture of those who imagine there is any significance to the things that happen on this show. From a scientific
viewpoint the freak-outs are merely the result of atmospheric conditions peculiar
to the design room. <br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> Then you're quite convinced as a scientist that living
intelligence as we know it does not exist at Parsons? <br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Alyssa Milano:</b> I'd say the chances against it are a thousand to one. <br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> And yet how do you account for the fact that anyone is tuning in to this show? <br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Alyssa Milano:</b> I can't.<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> By the way, Professor, for the benefit of our listeners, how
far from reality are these All Stars? <br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Alyssa Milano:</b> Approximately forty million miles. <br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> Well, that seems a safe enough distance. <br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Announcer</b>: Ladies and gentlemen, here is the latest bulletin from the
Intercontinental Radio News. This is a special announcement from New York City. It is reported that at approximately 9:40 P.M. a series of unidentified objects walked down a runway on a farm in
the neighborhood of Manhattan, in New York. We have
dispatched a special mobile unit to the scene, and will have our commentator,
Eric Three Thousand, give you a description as soon as he can reach there from
Parsons. In the meantime, we take you to the Hotel Martinet in Brooklyn, where
Bobby Millette and his orchestra are offering a program of dance music.<br />
<br />
(Oh, for crying out loud! Enough with the music, already!)<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Announcer</b>: We take you now to the Mizrahi farm in New York. <br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> Ladies and gentlemen, this is Eric Three Thousand again, at the
Mizrahi farm, New York. Professor Milano and myself made the
eleven miles from Parsons in ten minutes. Well, I ... I hardly know where to
begin, to paint for you a word picture of the strange scene before my eyes, like
something out of a modern "Arabian Nights." Well, I just got here. I haven't had
a chance to look around yet. I guess that's them. Yes, I guess those are the ... things that walked down the runway, directly in front of me. From what I can see of the objects themselves, they don't look
very much like avant garde fashion, at least not any avant garde fashion I've ever seen. They look more like
silly bug costumes.<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMyp8vgqnGiCrwcOzD10_IA6daiKiKkfuL9Be09hJhPd-G35OAKoTCCkWu8radx5ud95RCjcipe4RK_H2KKJhULGZDxzHIg-AgBb5xRiGTbCMgkxOU8-Krm8_hDn6b7fLWGuDW/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-02+at+7.38.30+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMyp8vgqnGiCrwcOzD10_IA6daiKiKkfuL9Be09hJhPd-G35OAKoTCCkWu8radx5ud95RCjcipe4RK_H2KKJhULGZDxzHIg-AgBb5xRiGTbCMgkxOU8-Krm8_hDn6b7fLWGuDW/s400/Screen+shot+2013-11-02+at+7.38.30+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This week, at Parsons</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> While the policemen are pushing the crowd back, here's Mr.
Mizrahi, owner of the farm. He may have some interesting facts to add. Mr. Mizrahi, would you please tell the radio audience as much as you remember of
these rather unusual visitors that landed in your backyard runway?<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Isaac Mizrahi:</b> That's right, I'm a farmer. I live on a farm. I drive around in the cutest little tractor and I grow cornflakes and I have some of those things that make milk ... what are they called? ... oh, yes, cows. So, yes, that's me, farmer Isaac Mizrahi."<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> Terrific. But that's actually not what we're here to talk to you about. We'd like you to tell us about what you've seen today. <br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Isaac Mizrahi:</b> Well, I don't think I can even critique what I've seen. I think you have to be very careful not to cross the line between "avant garde" and "exterminating the human race." I mean, how is a girl even supposed to drink a martini after she's been vaporized by a death ray?<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand: </b>I think we can all sympathize with Isaac's interest in having a martini, but that's really the least of our problems ... Wait a minute! Someone's crawling out of the runway.
Someone or ... something. I can see peering out of that black hole two
luminous disks. Are they eyes? It might be a face. It might be ... good heavens, something's wriggling out of the shadow like a
gray snake. Now it's another one, and another. They look like tentacles to me. It's Christopher's look. No, It's Irina's. The top looks are Irina's, Elena's, and Mychael's. Mychael wins the challenge. But the looks keep coming! There, I can see the thing's body. It's large -- large as a bear and it glistens
like wet leather. Ladies and gentlemen, it's
indescribable. I can hardly force myself to keep looking at it. The avant garde look or whatever it is
can hardly move. It seems weighed down by ... possibly gravity or something.
The thing's raising up. The judges fall back now. They've seen plenty. This is
the most extraordinary experience. I can't find words ... Wait!
Something's happening! A humped shape is rising off of the runway. I can make out a small
beam of light. What's that? There's a jet of flame! Good lord, everything is on fire! The woods ... the barns ... the gas tanks of automobiles ... the Brother sewing machines ...<br />
<br />
(The microphone goes silent)<br />
<br />
<b>Announcer</b>: Ladies and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control,
we are unable to continue the broadcast from Eric Three Thousand. I have just been handed a message
that came in from New York by telephone. Just a moment. The tragedy on the runway has resulted in several fashion victims. They have been accessorized and distorted beyond all possible recognition. New York has been placed under martial law. ... Ladies and gentlemen, I have a grave announcement to make.
Incredible as it may seem, both the observations of science and the evidence of
our eyes lead to the inescapable assumption that those strange garments that walked the runway tonight are the vanguard of an invading army. The battle which took place tonight in New York has ended in
one of the most startling defeats ever suffered by any army in modern times.<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>President Barack Obama:</b> Citizens of the nation, I shall not try to conceal the gravity
of the situation that confronts the country, nor the concern of your government
in protecting the lives and property of its people. However, I wish to impress
upon you -- private citizens and public officials, all of you -- the urgent need
of calm and resourceful action. Fortunately, this formidable enemy is still
confined to a comparatively small area, and we may place our faith in the
military forces to keep them there. The bottom three designers were Daniel, Jeffrey, and Melissa, and Daniel has been eliminated. We will remember him. In the meantime, placing our faith in God, we
must continue the performance of our duties, each and every one of us, so that we
may confront this destructive adversary with a nation united, courageous, and
consecrated to the preservation of human supremacy on this earth. I thank you.<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Announcer:</b> I'm speaking from the roof of the Atlas Apartments, New
York City. The bells you hear are ringing to warn the people to evacuate the
city. All communication with the Jersey shore closed ten minutes ago. No more defenses.
Our army wiped out. This may be
the last broadcast. We'll stay here to the end. Now I look down to the harbor. All manner of boats,
overloaded with the fleeing population, pulling out from the docks. Streets are all jammed. This is the end now. Smoke comes out ... black
smoke, drifting over the city. People in the streets see it now. They're running
towards the East River ... thousands of them, dropping in like rats. Now the
smoke's spreading faster. It's reached Times Square. People trying to run away
from it, but it's no use. They're falling like flies. Now the smoke's crossing
Sixth Avenue ... Fifth Avenue ... one hundred yards away ... it's fifty
feet ...<br />
<br />
<b>Unknown Radio Operator:</b> 2X2L calling CQ ... 2X2L calling CQ ... 2X2L calling
CQ ... New York. Isn't there anyone on the air? Isn't there anyone on the air?
Isn't there anyone ...<br />
<br />
(Radio silence)<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> As I set down these notes on paper, I'm obsessed by the thought
that I may be the last living Project Runway blogger on earth. I have been hiding in this empty
house near Parsons -- a small island of daylight cut off by the black smoke
from the rest of the world. All that happened before the arrival of these
monstrous garments now seems part of another life. A life that
has no continuity with the present, furtive existence of the lonely derelict who
pencils these words on the back of some astronomical notes bearing my signature. I look down at my blackened hands, my torn shoes, my
tattered clothes, and I try to connect them with a blogger named Eric Three Thousand, who on the night of October 31, watched what I thought was going to be a fashion show. My husband, my colleagues, my students,
my books, my observatory, my ... my world ... where are they? Did they ever
exist? Am I Eric Three Thousand? What day is it? Do days exist without calendars?
Does time pass when there are no human hands left to wind the clocks? In
writing down my daily life I tell myself I shall preserve Project Runway history between
the dark covers of this little Macbook that was meant to record the movements of
the All Stars. But to write I must live, and to live, I must eat ...<br />
<br />
(Eric Three Thousand will now take a lunch break)<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<b>Eric Three Thousand:</b> After lunch I came at last to the
Holland Tunnel. I entered that silent tube anxious to know the fate of the great
city on the other side of the Hudson. Cautiously I came out of the tunnel and
made my way up Canal Street. I caught sight of Swatch the dog running
down Seventh Avenue with a piece of dark brown fabric in his jaws, and a pack of
starving mongrels at his heels. Suddenly, my eyes were attracted to the immense flock of black
birds that hovered directly below me. They circled to the ground, and there
before my eyes, stark and silent, lay the avant garde looks, with the hungry birds
pecking and tearing at them. Later when
these artifacts were examined in the laboratories, it was found that they were
eliminated for being too literal and having terrible proportions. Slain, after all our defenses had failed, by the humblest
thing that God in His wisdom put upon this earth. It may be that for the remaining designers this is only a reprieve. To them, and not to us, is the
future ordained, perhaps. Strange it now seems to sit in my peaceful study writing down this last chapter of the record begun yesterday afternoon. Strange to watch the sightseers
enter the natural history museum where we first saw the bugs that inspired this challenge.<br />
<br />
<b>
</b>
<i>This is Eric Three Thousand, ladies and gentlemen, out of
character to assure you that The War of The All Stars has no further
significance than as the holiday offering it was intended to be. The Mercury
Theatre's own radio version of dressing up in a sheet and jumping out of a bush
and saying Boo! Starting now, we couldn't soap all your windows and steal all
your garden gates by tomorrow night. So we did the next best thing. We
annihilated Parsons before your very ears, and utterly destroyed Project Runway. You will be relieved, I hope, to learn that we didn't mean it, and that both
institutions are still open for business. So goodbye everybody, and remember the
terrible lesson you learned tonight. That grinning, glowing, globular invader in your living room is an inhabitant of the pumpkin patch, and if your doorbell
rings and nobody's there, that was no All Star ... it's Halloween. </i><br />
<br />eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-88669429263831513742013-10-26T16:36:00.000-07:002023-03-20T09:57:02.807-07:00<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Project Runway All Stars or: How I stopped worrying and learned to love this bomb!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;">Well, it’s a brand new
season and you know what that means!<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Daniel Franco</b>: “No way!
Leave me alone!”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;">Oh, come on, Daniel. I’ll
just hold this football and you run up and kick it.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Daniel Franco</b>: “You must
think I’m really stupid! Every season you tell me you’ll hold the football and
then I run up to kick it and you pull it away at the last minute! Well, not this season. I’m not falling for that again. Forget it!”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;">Daniel, I know I’ve done
that in the past, but I won’t do it this time. I’m a changed man. I’ve been doing
yoga with Elena. I have too much respect for you to do that to you again. Now, you
just run up and kick the ball. I promise not to pull it away. I mean it this time. Look at me, Daniel. You can trust me.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Daniel Franco</b>: “Well, all
right. You seem sincere. I truly believe people can change. And what's the point in living if you can't trust people, right? OK, here I come!”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7NBp9X0nqqz8wOUM816X3q_5QA4iSSOD05poHU0izWo3r5-lJlwGUberHaK0BLgC1fiveVJLK-uvoJu8iXIYAkrSSH9rkvqrnoJDiDG-b-7zM6QXKMaSil_zKdXcHtZXgt-OF/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+10.09.03+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7NBp9X0nqqz8wOUM816X3q_5QA4iSSOD05poHU0izWo3r5-lJlwGUberHaK0BLgC1fiveVJLK-uvoJu8iXIYAkrSSH9rkvqrnoJDiDG-b-7zM6QXKMaSil_zKdXcHtZXgt-OF/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+10.09.03+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Daniel Franco</b>: "...ooooohhh...my nuts..."</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;">Daniel, I really admire your completely unjustified faith in humanity.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;">Thank goodness we got
that out of the way. Now we can get back to my favorite subject: me! I swore I
was not going to blog this season. I really need a break. The idea of spending
every Saturday through January doing this makes me want to weep. But Other Eric
talked me into it:<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Other Eric</b>: “What else do
you have to do?”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Me</b>: “How dare you! I’m a
very important person! I have things to do!”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Other Eric</b>: “Like what?”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Me</b>: “Well, for one thing
I have a DVR full of House Hunters episodes that aren’t going to watch
themselves. And I need to get back to my Rosetta Stone lessons that probably
don’t work anymore. And maybe I was actually going to read that David Foster
Wallace novel I bought four years ago. YOU DON'T KNOW!!!”</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Other Eric</b>: “Besides,
after this season of All Stars there will be a long break before season 13 starts.”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Me</b>: “Really? Are you sure?”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Other Eric</b>: “How should I
know?”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;">Well, maybe just the
dream of a break between Project Runway seasons will be enough to sustain me. The point is I might be taking some shortcuts this season. For instance, instead of finding the perfect film or television show to parody, I might just randomly use whatever damn thing I watched recently. Which brings us to this week's challenge:<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><i>For more than a year,
ominous rumors have been privately circulating among high level western
leaders, that Project Runway had been at work on what was darkly hinted to be
the ultimate weapon, a doomsday device. Intelligence sources traced the site of
the top secret Runway project to the perpetually fog shrouded wasteland of Manhattan island. What they were building, or why it
should be located in a such a remote and desolate place, no one could say. <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i></i> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><i>In order to guard against
surprise nuclear attack, America's Strategic Air Command maintains a large
force of B-52 bombers airborne 24 hours a day. Each B-52 can deliver a nuclear
bombload of 50 megatons, equal to 16 times the total explosive force of all the
bombs and shells used by all the armies in World War Two. Based in America, the
Airborne alert force is deployed from the Persian Gulf to the Arctic Ocean, but
they have one geographical factor in common: they are all two hours from their
targets inside Parsons The New School. </i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;">The challenge revolves around the rogue host, General Alyssa Milano, who has just given the orders to attack, which will lead to All Stars Season III and end all life on earth:</span></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA90SNU9p6qhA888ZmrT-jm4hE98gky65UVgnutYKJAkZ_riDcg7Qyn8wVnkqx6a1CJnkSYT0e5BbA3bsRw_ouzgGIyAcIyLfPZGef5E5VY7D0NxWfFQC0EqaYzpGe_mwQPwjA/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-26+at+4.31.26+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA90SNU9p6qhA888ZmrT-jm4hE98gky65UVgnutYKJAkZ_riDcg7Qyn8wVnkqx6a1CJnkSYT0e5BbA3bsRw_ouzgGIyAcIyLfPZGef5E5VY7D0NxWfFQC0EqaYzpGe_mwQPwjA/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-26+at+4.31.26+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">General Alyssa Milano</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: "Designers, have you heard of fluoridation? </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face? We have to wipe out this commie threat once and for all. So I'm locking you all in the basement of Mood to make punk outfits for Debbie Harry. It's the only way to protect our precious bodily fluids."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">oh, my god. Alyssa Milano has completely lost her mind. What are we going to do?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Alyssa</b>: "First let me tell you about this season's sponsors and prize package. Makeup will be done by the first Avon lady who happens to come by and ring the doorbell at Parsons. You'll have access to everything on the 99 Cents Only Store accessory wall. The prize package includes all your survival needs: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">one 45 caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, and three pair of nylon stockings."</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4kxqfMG3yjfGyTV4K5wa3jrvZKNtRPf14Q3V0l6dg3Xj78QW2OoVH2UCzx6RV4SvuOAWAvyCAnpK6xWBRG9YYFegPPKiHk6s68V_lZmBNDNT8BH8jHejjxXvgS9QB4TOsjI7e/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-26+at+4.32.17+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4kxqfMG3yjfGyTV4K5wa3jrvZKNtRPf14Q3V0l6dg3Xj78QW2OoVH2UCzx6RV4SvuOAWAvyCAnpK6xWBRG9YYFegPPKiHk6s68V_lZmBNDNT8BH8jHejjxXvgS9QB4TOsjI7e/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-26+at+4.32.17+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The largest prize package in Project Runway history!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Isaac Mizrahi</b>: "Shoot, a designer could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff!"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Alyssa Milano</b>: "That's right, Isaac. Now let's go kill some commies!"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Christopher</b>: "Yeah, let's sew some stitches and cut some bitches!"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Isaac</b>: "You're talking about mass murder, not a runway show!"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Alyssa</b>: "Look, Isaac</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">, I'm not saying we won't get our hair mussed. But we have people to fix our hair, and I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Isaac</b>: "I will not let Project Runway All Stars go down in history as the greatest mass murderers since Adolph Hitler!"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Alyssa</b>: "</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perhaps it might be better, Isaac, if you were more concerned with the American people than with your image in the history books."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, I think it might have been a mistake to give Alyssa Milano this much power, but apparently we're stuck with her, so let's make the best of it. The designers make their punk rock looks. I thought they made some nice outfits, though several of them did not look inspired by punk at all. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">The judges deliberate in the War Room. In attendance are Alyssa, Isaac, Georgina, and Debbie Harry:</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqDB1nwCNh3smDDFNA-RuGowzb1X8Qzo3nGnhrkXZIxBJ7BOgoaeXO6G9DjIohyphenhyphenb0oKNx50sA3PnVda8AS6FFLabmGRiRS4yONyw4W5WIXZSILdZPPZYiDrm_tXSRGZkkxkHAM/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.25.12+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqDB1nwCNh3smDDFNA-RuGowzb1X8Qzo3nGnhrkXZIxBJ7BOgoaeXO6G9DjIohyphenhyphenb0oKNx50sA3PnVda8AS6FFLabmGRiRS4yONyw4W5WIXZSILdZPPZYiDrm_tXSRGZkkxkHAM/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.25.12+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All Stars War Room</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Alyssa</b>: "Uh, excuse me, Isaac, but am I to understand that the Punk Rock </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ambassador, Debbie Harry, is to be admitted entrance to the War Room?"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Isaac</b>: "That is correct. She is here on my orders."</span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Alyssa</b>: "I don't know exactly how to put this, sir, but are you aware of what a serious breach of security that would be? I mean... she'll see everything. She'll see the big board!"</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Isaac</b>: "That is precisely the idea, Alyssa. That is precisely the idea. Georgina, get Premier Kissov on the Hotline."</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"></span></span> </div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;">There is some tension in the War Room:</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"></span></span> </div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Georgina</b>: "It's not totally punk to me."</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Debbie Harry</b>: "Let's try to remember that the looks are supposed to be <i>inspired</i> by punk."</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Georgina</b>: "</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">"</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">A fight breaks out:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">The judges got the top three correct: Jeffrey, Seth Aaron, and Elena. They were all really good and any one of them could have won. I, personally, thought Jeffrey's was the best. It was a punk version of a red carpet look, which, now that I think about it, has really already been done by Vivian Westwood. But, whatever. It was still good. The twist, though, was that the winning look had to be something Debbie Harry actually wanted to wear. And of the three top designs, Elena's probably made the most sense. The black and neon leather jacket was not completely punk, but it did have some punk ancestry and it looked like a modern interpretation of an 80s look. I'm sure people will complain that it was Elena's model who suggested putting the jacket on backward, but I say, Whatever. A suggestion was made and she was smart enough to pay attention. Congratulations, Elena!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;">The bottom three were Melissa, Viktor, and Ari:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Ari</b>: "Now, designers, we got three engines out; we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio's gone and we're leaking fuel, and if we was flying any lower, why, we'd need sleigh bells on this thing. But we got one little edge on the competition, at this this height, why, they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, there were other bad looks that were missed on the judges' radar screen -- I'm looking at you, Korto and Daniel -- but Ari is a goner. But she goes out in a blaze of glory. If the worst thing about your look is that it was perfectly executed, then you're doing pretty well. Sorry to see you go so soon, Ari!</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEJM3xUZ7EBLWegQAE4Ojx3OYTG7SfZSmW9ASNZy_m-2mWP8_CyNFRyO41lHt2F4MnKmdpbCX0h9UBBLqps74GdGxLyqLU1CxQQ7KC1dpj0K_S92QHAT8m6VTo_gYxIkkQkGKR/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.29.21+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEJM3xUZ7EBLWegQAE4Ojx3OYTG7SfZSmW9ASNZy_m-2mWP8_CyNFRyO41lHt2F4MnKmdpbCX0h9UBBLqps74GdGxLyqLU1CxQQ7KC1dpj0K_S92QHAT8m6VTo_gYxIkkQkGKR/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.29.21+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So long, Ari!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">The bad news is that Ari's elimination sets off the doomsday device. Cobalt thorium G has a radioactive halflife of ninety three years. If you take fifty H-bombs in the hundred megaton range and jacket them with cobalt thorium G, when they are exploded they will produce a doomsday shroud. A lethal cloud of radioactivity which will encircle the runway for ninety three years!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">But the surviving designers must carry on somehow. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Isaac</b>: "I suggest they go deep underground and stay there for the next hundred years."</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dr. Isaac Mizrahi</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;">But look here, Isaac, that seems awfully long, even for a Project Runway season. And wouldn't this nucleus of survivors be so grief stricken and anguished that
they'd, well, envy the eliminated designers and not want to go on living? <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Isaac</b>: "No, when they go
down into the mine most of the designers will still be in the competition. There would be no shocking
memories, and the prevailing emotion will be one of nostalgia for those left
behind, combined with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;">We end with a montage of upcoming scenes, set to one of the hits from the brand new Blondie album:</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF51C2A37hHordAk-B5bts6x6v1pWIO8br7OMU9acHghxaaeFDPgcRsWRyArd3QUFXXpmShF0iX1I34-KezCmueLc2G_Is3qDz56HSllv0VhgQQgvmNcYxDcDP0DAgZqJEEc73/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.39.07+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF51C2A37hHordAk-B5bts6x6v1pWIO8br7OMU9acHghxaaeFDPgcRsWRyArd3QUFXXpmShF0iX1I34-KezCmueLc2G_Is3qDz56HSllv0VhgQQgvmNcYxDcDP0DAgZqJEEc73/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.39.07+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #505050;"><b>Debbie Harry</b>: "We'll meet again...</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlu0nGIXf3Ds9byF4i_Gvu4QyRLh7JB0uQfSK-s3NGG8UFyQPiGeWKLDxGSxcCU96EcN4XtwrCC_79zINv57jHKs2Vg91-INarEo0MyBER4_KDiAo2Pzj747pYJ7-JxFCsEbay/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.41.39+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlu0nGIXf3Ds9byF4i_Gvu4QyRLh7JB0uQfSK-s3NGG8UFyQPiGeWKLDxGSxcCU96EcN4XtwrCC_79zINv57jHKs2Vg91-INarEo0MyBER4_KDiAo2Pzj747pYJ7-JxFCsEbay/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.41.39+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't know where, d</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">on't know when...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV_AqI5E0p-08430O4xDCIb2gZhguS7mQQ92pWZKmZqgf8ioYMFTy88XmFyVzYRrFfwGso-2TkTBe4vo9nx7ZUctvfQ-RW-e9fPbVX2yCLifE2evPhm8nO_JmqyPjSNaGS3rp-/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.37.49+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV_AqI5E0p-08430O4xDCIb2gZhguS7mQQ92pWZKmZqgf8ioYMFTy88XmFyVzYRrFfwGso-2TkTBe4vo9nx7ZUctvfQ-RW-e9fPbVX2yCLifE2evPhm8nO_JmqyPjSNaGS3rp-/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.37.49+PM.png" width="332" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I know we'll meet again s</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;">ome sunny day!"</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkDRARB2wLoDe6Z8GnyXLygO6WJjWdaRwAwCvOUNDINvnQWPNNhe0cKdEGAS50QWfR1Nc5LUDcx12JNkvpswDSZfQFCakbk64bOeuRIffIAzwpnLpjE3oG2_vF5A8OLrpcqfaV/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.37.11+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkDRARB2wLoDe6Z8GnyXLygO6WJjWdaRwAwCvOUNDINvnQWPNNhe0cKdEGAS50QWfR1Nc5LUDcx12JNkvpswDSZfQFCakbk64bOeuRIffIAzwpnLpjE3oG2_vF5A8OLrpcqfaV/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-25+at+9.37.11+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-39637873675915206792013-10-19T12:06:00.000-07:002023-03-18T11:23:29.745-07:00<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Project Runway Season Twelve Finale: Sabotage!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Heidi Klum</b>: “For the first time in Project Runway history, the best designer has won!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">That’s not true. It’s happened at least a couple of times before.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Heidi Klum</b>: “Well, then, for the first time in Project Runway history, I have made an incorrect statement about something happening for the first time in Project Runway history!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">OK, Heidi’s being sarcastic. But the point is, Dom won and I think the judges made the right decision and I’m a little surprised by that. In fact, given the track record of the judges, I felt I had to take matters into my own hands in order to make sure we got the correct result. I’m not proud of the things I did, and ultimately I don't think they made any difference, but I’m in a confessional mood so let me just get this off my chest.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">First of all, I’m the one who dumped coffee all over Bradon’s model. I know. I know. It was a horrible thing to do. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5u7Tdu-1yz10x8wJZysVfO846Fetij7EQGFi_mjzafUxfp-eZ3e01jpL55QZpc2UEILoNFX_RWoeweSXvqRK0Fo3mnZrlujjWgsJMS3Lsr4Pb47FPOGfz9xz5xAAuHf1vF4A_/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+7.06.42+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5u7Tdu-1yz10x8wJZysVfO846Fetij7EQGFi_mjzafUxfp-eZ3e01jpL55QZpc2UEILoNFX_RWoeweSXvqRK0Fo3mnZrlujjWgsJMS3Lsr4Pb47FPOGfz9xz5xAAuHf1vF4A_/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+7.06.42+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's not as bad as it looks. New Tide Pods will get that right out.</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Bradon</b>: “I specifically told my models not to go to the senior prom and get elected prom queen and go up on stage and stand under that big bucket of coffee! But would they listen to me? No!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I actually don’t want to be negative, so I’m just going to focus on the positive aspects of Bradon’s collection. And if I think of any, I’ll let you know.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7L_1O_AkMB5-g8ZtR_RKpeYBRyIj3BhZOVBZjqpU6JpZrU13eA6bVQMLsoEq1ThH_RZ5jpYqmtcIM-J0r0Cae88ALFH_8lD-fs34_eoJ-bUIGHH1t9WP6FDcJNFLtD7jeefVd/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.36.49+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7L_1O_AkMB5-g8ZtR_RKpeYBRyIj3BhZOVBZjqpU6JpZrU13eA6bVQMLsoEq1ThH_RZ5jpYqmtcIM-J0r0Cae88ALFH_8lD-fs34_eoJ-bUIGHH1t9WP6FDcJNFLtD7jeefVd/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.36.49+PM.png" width="275" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nope. I'm not saying a word.</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Next, I had to make sure Justin was out of the way. I thought his collection was nice, but I felt like the best part of his show was the accessories. So he shouldn’t have been a problem except that his final gown, made out of plastic test tube vials, was probably the biggest statement piece of all the collections. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So, I took out one of his models. I didn’t plan to do it! It was impulsive and I feel guilty about it! Besides, when I tell you the whole story, you’ll understand why I did it:</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Like I said, I was a little worried that the judges might be so blown away by Justin’s one amazing gown that they might ignore the fact that the rest of his collection was not as strong as Dom’s. So I followed his model, Gina Gershon, to her job as the headliner in “Goddess,” the topless show at the Stardust hotel in Las Vegas, where my friend Molly works as a seamstress. After the show, I was following Gina down the stairs to her dressing room. We were talking about how sexy I am and she was obviously attracted to me so I leaned in for a kiss and then she pulled away and called me a whore! Well, no one calls me a whore and gets away with it, so I pushed her! I was angry and I pushed her! I didn’t mean for her to fall down the stairs and break her ankle. That was an unfortunate accident and you can’t prove otherwise. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Anyway, to make a long story short, I’m now the headliner at the Stardust hotel and I had to fill in as a model in Justin’s runway show. And even though I have the exact same measurements as Gina Gershon, I’m just slightly longer waisted, so the dress didn’t fit perfectly. Again, it ultimately was not the deciding factor so I’m not going to beat myself up about it. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3CAX2fhT_CSq8hzALdz8zLZhBYb8AkZF_1BiX4LgRsOsPkxcw04BDLw2n_CKz06llWLcBKTzxPHurXD5J9Han_JsHRkMTaKYYgAEGwKyUDTlGdW5Oum19lctP1NSTqz-bmCm3/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+6.45.41+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3CAX2fhT_CSq8hzALdz8zLZhBYb8AkZF_1BiX4LgRsOsPkxcw04BDLw2n_CKz06llWLcBKTzxPHurXD5J9Han_JsHRkMTaKYYgAEGwKyUDTlGdW5Oum19lctP1NSTqz-bmCm3/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+6.45.41+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's a Versase</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Gina Gershon</b>: “I’ll be fine. There’s always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs behind you.”</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The shocking thing was that Alexandria turned out to be the biggest threat of all. I was going to have to be creative if I was going to sabotage her.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I ultimately decided to let her sabotage herself. I thought long and hard about what would send her over the edge and then it finally came to me. What’s the most evil thing in the entire world? What will single-handedly bring about the end of civilization? What makes children cry and adults pray for the sweet release of death? </span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYKWWon9fLvqxDfq0-nPEGalfrsgADTeXI7qbAckA8IUEjTipWrL8Kyyzw-PrgRNgstL03eFGGYqiE5vY9-EzShgpZRNOdS7zqzoS5lRVS5TaKCV8lF35D7GrSoy2ubVuTpRDv/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-19+at+11.10.47+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYKWWon9fLvqxDfq0-nPEGalfrsgADTeXI7qbAckA8IUEjTipWrL8Kyyzw-PrgRNgstL03eFGGYqiE5vY9-EzShgpZRNOdS7zqzoS5lRVS5TaKCV8lF35D7GrSoy2ubVuTpRDv/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-19+at+11.10.47+AM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OH, DEAR GOD, NOOOOO!!!!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Yes, phone books. I honestly didn't even know phone books were being produced anymore. I haven't seen one in years and they don't get delivered to my house. But, apparently they still really upset some people. So, I had thousands of them delivered to Alexandria’s studio and it had the desired results. She started freaking out. Yes, she did create a dramatic, if costumey, garment out of them. But she also created hundreds of other decent pieces instead of concentrating on ten outstanding looks. As with Justin's collection, her monotone looks blended together into a forgettable mush, in my opinion. But some of her pants were really cool and most of her pieces were definitely wearable and sellable and the judges sometimes think that’s the most important thing, so I was still a little worried. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmbhZrUiOr3DkFzJtIcWKUwhdnAk12ZG2hoRSnDoYqvyc4-q1SOv9wY_y0X6SIIRwM12oWPkWOszucKHjbzM-7FjNLDE-Gvrh13fMXrCOkK4UVHYaPkw71SifvgHlolUnpKDnV/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.28.25+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmbhZrUiOr3DkFzJtIcWKUwhdnAk12ZG2hoRSnDoYqvyc4-q1SOv9wY_y0X6SIIRwM12oWPkWOszucKHjbzM-7FjNLDE-Gvrh13fMXrCOkK4UVHYaPkw71SifvgHlolUnpKDnV/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.28.25+PM.png" width="220" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is great</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9mGT3ZSejyZQ57x7UpCWOnILsCT4XA3uoIEMrB8kRLvwdlCgH0zBvXt_mmpQnWYtNAl9UMOSctEg-dOSSGWYzf5QCc3jasWv6Qsro8uyhzoaFDu7jE79qfwRChXY5hmzWLSwL/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.27.55+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9mGT3ZSejyZQ57x7UpCWOnILsCT4XA3uoIEMrB8kRLvwdlCgH0zBvXt_mmpQnWYtNAl9UMOSctEg-dOSSGWYzf5QCc3jasWv6Qsro8uyhzoaFDu7jE79qfwRChXY5hmzWLSwL/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.27.55+PM.png" width="230" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is horrifying</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So I had done my part. That just left Dom to follow through with the great collection we were expecting from her. And she did. I admit I wasn’t blown away by the entire collection, but several pieces were spectacular, the styling was perfect, and the looks were cohesive, young, fresh, and fun.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDMPJZRBlZnjTBFAZkpui860LA77ZiXwZi0KbmOq_n0VUjmSqneyTUrMoGLlcdPvhW81xijJhhYXdzFBydrk8nBFxK0bKpgA07Pybi3rMdL98wvFQprV6_Z3Z9VES8MI_9Q4dZ/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.30.47+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDMPJZRBlZnjTBFAZkpui860LA77ZiXwZi0KbmOq_n0VUjmSqneyTUrMoGLlcdPvhW81xijJhhYXdzFBydrk8nBFxK0bKpgA07Pybi3rMdL98wvFQprV6_Z3Z9VES8MI_9Q4dZ/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.30.47+PM.png" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">not the best photo, but I love everything about this</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfDYx-CQNjWSXzp4YDNVIIt58RhGuLvhT5hYOliT0y7lOvHSguFIKd7z3_UXA7oqqv1oI6zuITEWX_MEjuzj6Ok7injEsMytxCWVA9bKK-ZtuDCLNzFVJjuft9QT2njXQ3KnE9/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.31.50+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfDYx-CQNjWSXzp4YDNVIIt58RhGuLvhT5hYOliT0y7lOvHSguFIKd7z3_UXA7oqqv1oI6zuITEWX_MEjuzj6Ok7injEsMytxCWVA9bKK-ZtuDCLNzFVJjuft9QT2njXQ3KnE9/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.31.50+PM.png" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">probably the best of the washable looks</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The designers give their final speeches about why they deserve to win:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Justin tells us that he should win because he wants to prove that a deaf person can be a fashion designer. And in case you were wondering, a deaf person can also compete on the Amazing Race:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNsvMH-M8CveVHPjLlvABC8aLBobg0TSxkL_W8dCmqHWyroo1haoE2oMdy98Ds4F6_wytvsFWUsgYGArco0rMByjOpvRcmNAv0yGFcx7UZIYHt-WHRAl_aw22INQod3bPus9JC/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-19+at+11.43.11+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNsvMH-M8CveVHPjLlvABC8aLBobg0TSxkL_W8dCmqHWyroo1haoE2oMdy98Ds4F6_wytvsFWUsgYGArco0rMByjOpvRcmNAv0yGFcx7UZIYHt-WHRAl_aw22INQod3bPus9JC/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-19+at+11.43.11+AM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">well, duh</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Bradon tells us he should win because he used to be a dancer:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Bradon</b>: “Did you know that I used to be a dancer?”</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">You might have mentioned it once or thirty times before.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Bradon</b>: “Well, then you must be able to understand how excited I am to know that I can be just as amazing at everything I do.”</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Yeah, I can totally relate.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Alexandria tells us she should win because she works hard and she has already accomplished so much and she already knows how to run a business because she already has two successful businesses and what the hell does she need our help for?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The judges are moved/scared/exhausted by listening to Alexandria.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So I think the winner was always clear, but with these judges it’s better to be safe than sorry. Congratulations, Dom! Although you didn’t need my help to win, I’m so proud that I could be a part of it by sabotaging your competition.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLIwj5yXrZz6_27XKhvRJafKvi5x9VsPp1rtX-Ee6AVID0akpTQvDW3UAuo1_qT-c5DiSaqw9ZJkLFi7ZkYCtiA7PIj6EOZfuV8Cfw3vj630DPwWuRy29-iP3EbCuPmo60ee3S/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.41.55+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLIwj5yXrZz6_27XKhvRJafKvi5x9VsPp1rtX-Ee6AVID0akpTQvDW3UAuo1_qT-c5DiSaqw9ZJkLFi7ZkYCtiA7PIj6EOZfuV8Cfw3vj630DPwWuRy29-iP3EbCuPmo60ee3S/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-18+at+10.41.55+PM.png" width="260" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Congratulations, Dom!</td></tr>
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eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-64721885930018904942013-10-12T16:46:00.000-07:002023-03-20T09:58:13.468-07:00<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Project Runway Season Twelve, Finale, Part One: Do Decoys Dream of Electric Runways?</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSW3bEBTVwqdk0z-pAejEDLkdL92EedOM2KwL7kfOiRsmMTTmNLeVEKculr4ym-mrWAv1EqwlXDdV6xqzzPg42cNj3nVq__CcwyOO5uAqVvfZIDeYaSnUiNFCLj86fiy3-IlGb/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.22.47+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSW3bEBTVwqdk0z-pAejEDLkdL92EedOM2KwL7kfOiRsmMTTmNLeVEKculr4ym-mrWAv1EqwlXDdV6xqzzPg42cNj3nVq__CcwyOO5uAqVvfZIDeYaSnUiNFCLj86fiy3-IlGb/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.22.47+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a leitmotif. Or maybe it's just an eye. Either way, it's gross.</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Early in the 21st Century, the Project Runway Corporation advanced robot evolution into the Nexus phase -- a designer virtually identical to a human -- known as a Decoy. The Nexus 6 Decoys were superior in strength and agility, and at least equal in intelligence, to the genetic engineers who created them. </i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Decoys were used Off-world as slave labor, in the hazardous exploration and accessorizing of other planets. After a bloody mutiny by a Nexus 6 combat team in an Off-world colony, Decoys were declared illegal on earth. Special fashion police squads -- Blade Runner Units -- had orders to stop, upon detection, any trespassing Decoys. This was not called execution. It was called elimination.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>New York, November 2019</b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguENdYtg0U9TxmQKj8LIhKrtkBixzS5BsCrzS3XUtrFnPzq3ii1U5YLfruRpAQo8ekpTA6OAOpmIz6gjF1rsi1gEmoAo8uUOfE43bvptxTRah_zliJTOz653-wl4WcC4gumQWH/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.13.53+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguENdYtg0U9TxmQKj8LIhKrtkBixzS5BsCrzS3XUtrFnPzq3ii1U5YLfruRpAQo8ekpTA6OAOpmIz6gjF1rsi1gEmoAo8uUOfE43bvptxTRah_zliJTOz653-wl4WcC4gumQWH/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.13.53+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This week, at Parsons</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Tim Gunn, the most decorated member of the Blade Runner Unit, has been taken out of retirement because the chief of the fashion police has an important assignment for him.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Chief</b>: “Tim, I need you back. Some Decoys have escaped from the Off-world colony of Parsons and we fear they will try to show at Fashion Week.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “How embarrassing for you.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Chief</b>: “No. Not embarrassing, because nobody will ever know they were here. Their collections won’t show up in the finale. Your job will be to hunt them down and determine which designers are really Decoys. Will you do it?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Do I have any choice?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Chief</b>: “No.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Alright. Give me the details.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Chief</b>: “Five Decoys escaped. One of them -- Ken -- got fried trying to run through an electrical field, but the rest are attempting to create final collections.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Well, I don’t get it. Why risk detection by trying to show a collection at Fashion Week?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Chief</b>: “That’s what we were hoping you could find out.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So fashion police detective and amateur origami artist Edward James Olmos flies Tim around the country searching for these Decoys. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Umzwu71o6GoPjUY2PBgMpVk0Pg2-bjL0whwwxExo5TJDydlbC2XjJ4fSOrhvnG0JtI2g62w0e6ETLiYyi5oTkcgz1tIsk6buokpwlIOL4Tc7dNyBGhxkHQA7A9SsK6X-PNig/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.31.32+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Umzwu71o6GoPjUY2PBgMpVk0Pg2-bjL0whwwxExo5TJDydlbC2XjJ4fSOrhvnG0JtI2g62w0e6ETLiYyi5oTkcgz1tIsk6buokpwlIOL4Tc7dNyBGhxkHQA7A9SsK6X-PNig/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.31.32+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tim and Edward James Olmos making home visits</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">After discovering and eliminating Jeremy and Alexander, he visits Dom in Philadelphia:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Dom</b>: “2019 is awesome! I’m totally digging this retro-futurist world we live in! And I love your flying Delorean!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Oh, get serious, Dom! You're thinking of <i>Back to the Future</i>. This is reality. I drive a 2019 Toyota Prius; it’s just like the original Prius, except it’s 100% electric. And, obviously, it flies.”</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsPF-2FTifSjUq0uN9qbqbKnp3ogLutbzZnwCGP_7bPgnvmU78E3buLfUn9B4DAZVJt-tduG3GNCMIjHAFLc5od3xGGJHQByiKBkfllcQjy0_K9G5veD0-k-pqjZ5L0i9DxMyZ/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.28.32+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsPF-2FTifSjUq0uN9qbqbKnp3ogLutbzZnwCGP_7bPgnvmU78E3buLfUn9B4DAZVJt-tduG3GNCMIjHAFLc5od3xGGJHQByiKBkfllcQjy0_K9G5veD0-k-pqjZ5L0i9DxMyZ/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.28.32+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The 2019 Toyota Prius</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Dom shows Tim her beautiful prints and he tells her to use more knits in her collection. He determines that she is not a Decoy. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But he finds a clue in her bathtub. It looks like a fish scale. He has it analyzed by the oldest street vendor he could find in Chinatown, because that’s how detectives work in 2019.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Street Vendor</b>: “I think it was manufactured. Look: finest quality, superior workmanship. There is a maker’s serial number. Interesting. Not a fish scale. It is a plastic test tube. Try Justin. He’s making a gown out of these.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Tim visits Justin and he likes the test tube dress and the 3-D printed accessories and he determines Justin is not a Decoy. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF1d4hgtMoLAA6XFx6rj-jndvM9QSf1_UwViDZ4gY_yRQ7BLvWooUVB8VQ42SNYcxwNFp6jj7aRGCKJ6cqrc-3PGZYQRDMIQU6dLRJBspW6HsD1lbwLoI_sfMo7nGDxjdAlSRr/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.29.21+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF1d4hgtMoLAA6XFx6rj-jndvM9QSf1_UwViDZ4gY_yRQ7BLvWooUVB8VQ42SNYcxwNFp6jj7aRGCKJ6cqrc-3PGZYQRDMIQU6dLRJBspW6HsD1lbwLoI_sfMo7nGDxjdAlSRr/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.29.21+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Justin is inspired by his journey from silence to sound</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Tim excuses himself because he’s just been informed that there may be Decoys at the Bradbury Building in Los Angeles, where Bradon lives with his fiance and their pet owl.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEzxB9-BDwtU1tyACYU-rCnmeBqbokyU-f1eonkEstmLq67g0AJea4G2i83G7Wp9vok3QYtp9ejkF8Vr5sp5WFUGFWjIL8B4kNNB8PTXDJVxilmkKD81cHtbyHrl1A97NoXi4D/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.23.42+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEzxB9-BDwtU1tyACYU-rCnmeBqbokyU-f1eonkEstmLq67g0AJea4G2i83G7Wp9vok3QYtp9ejkF8Vr5sp5WFUGFWjIL8B4kNNB8PTXDJVxilmkKD81cHtbyHrl1A97NoXi4D/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.23.42+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bradon's home</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Bradon</b>: “I’m totally excited by crocuses.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say. That proves you are not a Decoy. See you at Fashion Week.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">In the next scene, Tim has a bloody lip and forehead. What happened?!</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjKbF480pNs2OruGHiBX5bzXJ-K9tsNzgzLpSc_LnpGI7njFSj57N22jU1YxQHY3q7uLVV1Xdx5IfLwdvQmaugLMDtQ1n3j6-_hWEnxb5NUumH6BOSIOxnIjA7PGNjlireOv0K/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.35.55+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="377" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjKbF480pNs2OruGHiBX5bzXJ-K9tsNzgzLpSc_LnpGI7njFSj57N22jU1YxQHY3q7uLVV1Xdx5IfLwdvQmaugLMDtQ1n3j6-_hWEnxb5NUumH6BOSIOxnIjA7PGNjlireOv0K/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.35.55+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ooh, that looks bad</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Oh, it was just a silly accident. I fell on the stairs in the subway. Clumsy me.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Be honest with me, Tim. What really happened?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Fine. Daryl Hannah beat the crap out of me.”</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiww4qUew2XT9KDnkTV4McOuH21Yk2s5Das5uUaoEkAeEfo7eBSJ2sfNUDdTx11iRxT7O6pvFUBeT9mA6WRtzbKWWR9FbzdpGb8lr7mCwCknn4gUaCqBmz6MIz84EMcWJKSF2Sl/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.28.53+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="331" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiww4qUew2XT9KDnkTV4McOuH21Yk2s5Das5uUaoEkAeEfo7eBSJ2sfNUDdTx11iRxT7O6pvFUBeT9mA6WRtzbKWWR9FbzdpGb8lr7mCwCknn4gUaCqBmz6MIz84EMcWJKSF2Sl/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.28.53+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Daryl Hannah wearing Alexandria's neo-punk look</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">That’s what I thought. Well, I’m glad you’re willing to go on with the mission. Your next stop is a visit to Alexandria at her sweatshop.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Alexandria</b>: “Don’t worry. I don’t use illegal robots to manufacture my clothes. I use adorable children.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Well, I think that’s the best use for them. Carry on.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Alexandria tells Tim to go to a nightclub owned by Taffy Lewis, where he finds Kate working as an exotic dancer. He decides she’s a Decoy and he chases her out onto the street. Kate asks why it has to end this way:</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMfMm2VONtSOq6BIMEUbfPj3_xOytI3TihEDRrJD98I3VwRm2WbWb2xAkRn81fnK9swpp-SgNY4OzEp2NuiszTPrgcc3R84kUp5gnvzDi0peQ28RYNFGeEhcNI30T2ph_3ziQc/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.20.33+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMfMm2VONtSOq6BIMEUbfPj3_xOytI3TihEDRrJD98I3VwRm2WbWb2xAkRn81fnK9swpp-SgNY4OzEp2NuiszTPrgcc3R84kUp5gnvzDi0peQ28RYNFGeEhcNI30T2ph_3ziQc/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.20.33+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kate wasn't ready to be eliminated</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “What seems to be the problem?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Kate</b>: “Time.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Time? That’s a little out of my jurisdiction.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Kate</b>: “I wanted more time on Project Runway.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Ah, the facts of life. To make an alteration in the evolution of an organic life system is fatal. A coding sequence cannot be revised once it’s been established. By the second runway day of incubation, any cells that have undergone reversion mutations give rise to revertant colonies like rats leaving a sinking ship. Then the ship sinks.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Kate</b>: “What about EMS recombination? Or a repressive protein that blocks the operating cells?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “We’ve already tried ethyl methane sulfonate as an alkylating agent on a potent mutagen. It created a virus so lethal the designer was eliminated before he even left the runway. And a repressive protein wouldn’t obstruct replication, but it does give rise to an error in replication so that the newly formed DNA strand carries the mutation and you’ve got a virus again. But all of this is academic. You were made as well as we could make you.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Kate</b>: “But not to last.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long. And you have burned so very, very brightly, Kate.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Kate</b>: “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. C-beams glittering in the darkness at Tannhauser Gate. Michael Kors trying on all the shoes on the Belk accessory wall. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in the rain. I know I’ve done questionable things.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Also extraordinary things. Revel in the time you had, Kate!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There is only one more Decoy out there. It’s the most difficult assignment of all. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFrRRbQNctj8KNFV3ZVQPL2JHiiuMzQekaRZdCNAnP__pEA2i6HnYZABXLsimTn3uLf2DA6aY0L-GSFIWJYJHObIw6vtNwvvfzu4lHKtYRIfuelUNziB-F1SR1nBnaolroQQfc/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.25.53+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFrRRbQNctj8KNFV3ZVQPL2JHiiuMzQekaRZdCNAnP__pEA2i6HnYZABXLsimTn3uLf2DA6aY0L-GSFIWJYJHObIw6vtNwvvfzu4lHKtYRIfuelUNziB-F1SR1nBnaolroQQfc/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.25.53+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Tim</b>: "I'm getting too old for this shit!"</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Finally, Tim gets a lead that sends him to L.A. Eyeworks, a company that creates fashionable eyeglasses and genetically engineered frozen eyeballs. The eyeball is obviously a clue. He visits Helen in New Jersey and it turns out she has used an iris for her main print and she thinks it looks good. Tim administers the Decoy test:</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv6Sd90PvOL3wBqad7Ro6Lx6pwNgHitgLZjjqRYDKBt8EICEAvZSLqvQ3Df7jL9GO4eWLIVD9c6jWODSuBPi9s_JEnhA4pphAA6p3uHpCLHXus9ji9_xjX-DiK0yhGR4-7hXAR/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.15.01+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv6Sd90PvOL3wBqad7Ro6Lx6pwNgHitgLZjjqRYDKBt8EICEAvZSLqvQ3Df7jL9GO4eWLIVD9c6jWODSuBPi9s_JEnhA4pphAA6p3uHpCLHXus9ji9_xjX-DiK0yhGR4-7hXAR/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.15.01+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This could take a while</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Helen</b>: “Tim, can I ask you a personal question?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Sure.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Helen</b>: “Have you ever eliminated a real designer by mistake?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “No.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Helen</b>: “But in your position that is a risk, isn’t it? Is this to be an empathy test? Capillary dilation of the so-called blush response? Fluctuation of the pupil? Involuntary dilation of the iris?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “We call it the Voight-Kampff for short. You’re walking in the desert...”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Helen</b>: “What desert?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “It doesn’t matter. It’s completely hypothetical. So you’re walking in the desert and you see a tortoise...”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Helen</b>: “What’s that?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “You know what a turtle is? It’s the same thing.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Helen</b>: “I’ve never seen a turtle because by 2019 most animals are extinct and also I’ve been trapped at Parsons for most of my life. But I know what you mean.”</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “The tortoise is on its back and it can’t flip itself over. What do you do?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Helen</b>: “Do you make up these questions, Tim?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “It’s science. Just answer the questions.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Helen</b>: “I’m going to be in the finale and I’m going to win this season of Project Runway.”</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyZRNRj1dyE_6CrNrozJmndswqlXU2Gw31Ccssh023VYeYj_Y1QJTe_jAucO2ouonl4kZNRDO-BVOnTgy76VE8XG6kBMJEifj9HjAYWxRHJ7tmA4sRzKUbBd5AzR3Ck_1xJjRB/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.17.35+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="382" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyZRNRj1dyE_6CrNrozJmndswqlXU2Gw31Ccssh023VYeYj_Y1QJTe_jAucO2ouonl4kZNRDO-BVOnTgy76VE8XG6kBMJEifj9HjAYWxRHJ7tmA4sRzKUbBd5AzR3Ck_1xJjRB/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.17.35+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Helen had a little issue with the shoulders</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Tim leaved Helen and talks to the judges:</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “My God! Helen doesn’t know! She doesn’t know that she’s a Decoy! How is that possible?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Judges</b>: “Commerce is our goal here at Project Runway. More human than human is our motto. Helen is an experiment, nothing more. After all, these designers are emotionally inexperienced, with only a few weeks in which to store up the experiences which seasoned professionals like you and I take for granted. If we gift them the past we create a cushion or pillow for their emotions and consequently we can control them better.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “Memories. You’re talking about memories.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Judges</b>: “Yes, she has memories of creating a final collection because we implanted those memories.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So Helen is the final Decoy. But Tim has grown too fond of her. He sneaks her out of Parsons and they escape north to safety.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Edward James Olmos</b>: “Too bad she won’t make it to the finale. But, then again, who does?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Tim picks up an origami unicorn that Edward James Olmos has left on the floor:</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA8KFbu96d0ftx66u7C5CvkwSVmSgJF02khGpoxx8QswtZ4b9qkIqGYObdW7CNqxzpda-_M278qSxW6CMN2sVVaxugwMQ_E9FdSevN5NgeBQ4l5gVq4_twJfiMpBdcRx91Oc2E/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.30.01+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA8KFbu96d0ftx66u7C5CvkwSVmSgJF02khGpoxx8QswtZ4b9qkIqGYObdW7CNqxzpda-_M278qSxW6CMN2sVVaxugwMQ_E9FdSevN5NgeBQ4l5gVq4_twJfiMpBdcRx91Oc2E/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-11+at+10.30.01+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Really?</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “What the hell? Is he trying to tell me that all those memories of Timothy and his stupid unicorns were implanted in my brain? That this season didn’t really happen? That my whole life has been a lie? And what does it actually mean to be human, anyway? Are we all really just Decoys?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Tune in next week for the finale, when those and many other questions won’t be answered.</span></span></div>
eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20890242.post-64668202735887335722013-10-05T15:20:00.000-07:002023-03-20T09:58:31.864-07:00<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Project Runway Season Twelve, Episode Twelve: The monarch will be crowned!</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrYQERU35kxB487KJbIKGaTEUU4mlMPfaNxCeEJwF7biEWoic-sKPV-WeqacTDA6taUs86O4OrsT4FbLC-JJbp_oYFyilT0y-MZ4o1Bw2DVexFREPArpdlUlZhl94qJVBNVzjX/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.28.15+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrYQERU35kxB487KJbIKGaTEUU4mlMPfaNxCeEJwF7biEWoic-sKPV-WeqacTDA6taUs86O4OrsT4FbLC-JJbp_oYFyilT0y-MZ4o1Bw2DVexFREPArpdlUlZhl94qJVBNVzjX/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.28.15+AM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This week, at Parsons</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Parsons is a place like any other. At least it used to be, until the designers were cut off from the rest of the world by a mysterious dome. Invisible, indestructible, and completely inescapable. They don’t know where it came from or why it’s there, but now that they’re trapped there together, none of their secrets is safe.</i></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRaquBv9mxvaFBCYZ1kwl3lbJY0Fg3YdsX0XXHtHARbDNBCxW5L6Vd-vwPPKj7bbgOZDJmlnLZweM9Um1CJPgsEJJlaibAwaahigWSlgS9TNPyur7KxsfD2op8x5W071SyM4k3/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.38.26+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRaquBv9mxvaFBCYZ1kwl3lbJY0Fg3YdsX0XXHtHARbDNBCxW5L6Vd-vwPPKj7bbgOZDJmlnLZweM9Um1CJPgsEJJlaibAwaahigWSlgS9TNPyur7KxsfD2op8x5W071SyM4k3/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.38.26+AM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Anyone else thinking Damien Hirst is somehow involved?</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This week the designers are surrounded by butterflies, which are attracted to the magnetic field that may or may not be creating the dome that has trapped the contestants in this social experiment called Project Runway.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBDSf6kV3VSdffh1TN2-30HosHwdobn-2ZZqaInKgZuaab0L4Q9ZH8otHzNGcNjns4Gwvj2kH1mkVCOIqC-dluGPVQpHDcTSb4Q5RqhKmn_yjIyHi8lW519Cda0ILdHakiPgMA/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.31.13+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBDSf6kV3VSdffh1TN2-30HosHwdobn-2ZZqaInKgZuaab0L4Q9ZH8otHzNGcNjns4Gwvj2kH1mkVCOIqC-dluGPVQpHDcTSb4Q5RqhKmn_yjIyHi8lW519Cda0ILdHakiPgMA/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.31.13+AM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What can it mean?</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">They are joined by Big Jim, consulting makeup artist for l’Oreal:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Big Jim</b>: “I’d like to introduce our new propane-based line of mascaras, called Rapture. I’ve been stockpiling propane for months and nobody could figure out why. Well, now you know. It’s the secret ingredient in mascara and everyone who needs mascara is going to have to come to me. I own this place now! Bwahahahahahaha!”</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4qZQpjqUQWsll9u_tWIdFLKemmBTuOBVPaUpgVU2y0hgcqqSZqB6EJXa_ymJwdTLFGoEpXPpLbwbe1hKcwErAYrMnMApifTnFtrE_t-CXO2nVh7MwOtDT_yhMQfp5kMa4B9P/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.32.34+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="392" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4qZQpjqUQWsll9u_tWIdFLKemmBTuOBVPaUpgVU2y0hgcqqSZqB6EJXa_ymJwdTLFGoEpXPpLbwbe1hKcwErAYrMnMApifTnFtrE_t-CXO2nVh7MwOtDT_yhMQfp5kMa4B9P/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.32.34+AM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Someone get me a fly-swatter!</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I knew that l’Oreal guy was evil! Anyway, the designers go to Mood and start making their avant garde looks and then the next day they go into the design room and are totally shocked by what they see:</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPRB1t19dnDmHGeOCmKNSuA__cSaHrB6xRCJk2iohEmnNzIm1q_s3UYjTrt6T_LfR0IfW3enpX-sq_JfJzUb_nIQo_-Ssyudv3I9Qm5wvPYrMfk62NbGEE23fvzkZ-1i-uyYN/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+11.09.14+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPRB1t19dnDmHGeOCmKNSuA__cSaHrB6xRCJk2iohEmnNzIm1q_s3UYjTrt6T_LfR0IfW3enpX-sq_JfJzUb_nIQo_-Ssyudv3I9Qm5wvPYrMfk62NbGEE23fvzkZ-1i-uyYN/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+11.09.14+AM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The l'Oreal guy has taken all their guns! Thanks a lot, Obamacare!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">No, that's not it. Tim explains the twist:</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “The water tower for Parsons has been destroyed and the source for our unlimited supply of delicious, fresh, pure drinking water--the Hudson River--has been contaminated with mascara. The only way we can survive is if we recycle everything. In that spirit, you will be taking these old, losing looks and making them into new, beautiful looks. I’d also like to mention that there is a meningitis epidemic and we are running short on medication and also, for the first time in Project Runway history, the military is planning to blow us all up with a missile.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Are you sure you’re telling us everything?</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: “We’re also out of coffee.”</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFTsPv8Eft7BFdBe-S7xD4PS2ov_4RAwv7Ulah81Gk4ZR-nCRRxuESl3qPYVGTJvHsy84H1L6OzlmGirmdbOrZ07XwjsMeyRqfNVA50umg0onWpn_ZQNk6giGPFROlf5PMCyx_/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+11.21.31+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFTsPv8Eft7BFdBe-S7xD4PS2ov_4RAwv7Ulah81Gk4ZR-nCRRxuESl3qPYVGTJvHsy84H1L6OzlmGirmdbOrZ07XwjsMeyRqfNVA50umg0onWpn_ZQNk6giGPFROlf5PMCyx_/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+11.21.31+AM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pandemonium ensues</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Once the rioting and looting are over, the designers head down to the runway:</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Alexandria made a perfectly nice but unexciting black dress out of shredded chiffon. For the recycled look She transformed Miranda’s losing outfit and made a major improvement. The judges loved the transformed plaid pant. But the overall look reminded them of someone in an Avril Lavine costume.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Justin made a very dramatic dress and coat. I loved this look. He also transformed his own losing look and it was much better. The judges loved both looks.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Helen freaked out and resorted to making the same shredded chiffon gown she makes all the time. It was fine. The judges loved her second look, which transformed Kate's losing look from last week. I didn’t see any connection to Kate’s look and I probably would have put Helen in the bottom two with Alexandria.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Dom used a wild mix of prints to create a look that I thought was going to be really clownish and costumey but wasn’t at all. She made a beautiful coat with a full skirt and paired it with a great palazzo pant jumpsuit. Loved it! Emmy Rossum tried on the coat and it also looked great with what she was wearing, which really demonstrated that these pieces were dramatic and yet also wearable. For her recycling piece she transformed Jeremy’s dated losing look into something really terrific. I think Dom was the clear winner this week. The judges didn’t quite agree, but they did send her through to the finale.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Bradon won the challenge, but essentially he wins the same thing as Dom: he is sent through to the finale. His avant garde look was good. I found it a little disappointing, because I preferred his original design with the contrasting fabrics. But the judges were only judging the final look and they loved the all-white gown covered in noodles. I really didn’t like his second look. It was a redesign of Sue’s losing place-mat dress. I actually thought Sue’s original look was better, but the judges loved Bradon’s rework and give him the win.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Nina and Zac fall on the floor and have seizures:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Nina and Zac</b>: “Pink stars are falling in lines. Pink stars are falling in lines. Pink stars are falling in lines.”</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr0uEEJeIHlATltZnQoLgh6GVM1nuqu5CVeO4GeG4HqcqkYmyZUzEUDWycHliJkn6Ag_gPnFptU3fZSu_1DVHf9Io8U7ZHdD6xvrA1I0ipy-kJ69ruBTZtE7YVZNMsZXBXNkNE/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+11.13.16+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr0uEEJeIHlATltZnQoLgh6GVM1nuqu5CVeO4GeG4HqcqkYmyZUzEUDWycHliJkn6Ag_gPnFptU3fZSu_1DVHf9Io8U7ZHdD6xvrA1I0ipy-kJ69ruBTZtE7YVZNMsZXBXNkNE/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+11.13.16+AM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quiet, or you'll wake Nina!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Heidi</b>: “Well, I don’t know what you two are talking about, but all five designers will make final collections and then we will decide who will compete in the finale. And then the monarch will be crowned.”</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">OK, so nobody is going home this week:</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6fSnRcdVHnJgwChs0Vuyp5mb_7k2pveY4zHuACvKI3fnHSsnqCdjTCRCS5awbcgVSRHlvpfXRmao3LfRDvKK6PQt0cZNCMyIM728NGIuPbLVIJeNkrz6QYkOjneFaAY8w3kGC/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.44.35+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6fSnRcdVHnJgwChs0Vuyp5mb_7k2pveY4zHuACvKI3fnHSsnqCdjTCRCS5awbcgVSRHlvpfXRmao3LfRDvKK6PQt0cZNCMyIM728NGIuPbLVIJeNkrz6QYkOjneFaAY8w3kGC/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.44.35+AM.png" width="322" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Put away the noose, Big Jim!</td></tr>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Tim doesn’t have to send anyone home, which is a good thing, because he was threatening to jump in front of a bus:</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Tim</b>: "I was only going to do it because I love you all so much! I'm not psychotic!"</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9XErIzN7UNhR96EJ_xYxXD6XzGUcHSzErsoE7dyhA_zjHtY0q3SUJUFn7EbQxS5T_FgoFLgY7wdT1NcbDfI6cBdx3XShL9b4376jIQgTkGPXObJvhyVwWNqNrRLi367jWcOMq/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.33.33+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9XErIzN7UNhR96EJ_xYxXD6XzGUcHSzErsoE7dyhA_zjHtY0q3SUJUFn7EbQxS5T_FgoFLgY7wdT1NcbDfI6cBdx3XShL9b4376jIQgTkGPXObJvhyVwWNqNrRLi367jWcOMq/s400/Screen+shot+2013-10-05+at+10.33.33+AM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We were meant to be together!</td></tr>
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eric3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00554308678019220189noreply@blogger.com5