The Fashion Show episodes eight and nine: Double the Eric Three Thousand for the same low price!

Sorry about my absence but I've been hiking the Appalachian Trail. What! I just really, really enjoy hiking, OK?! Why is everyone making such a big deal about it?! Jeez!

We started last week's episode with Reco and Daniella fighting:

Reco: "But Daniella, wherever shall I go, whatever shall I do?"

Daniella: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

Wow, the sexual tension between those two is really getting out of control.

For the mini-challenge Isaac explains the importance of history:

Isaac: "It is really important for a fashion designer to understand history. First, there was a big explosion, then the dinosaurs died, and then you weren't allowed to wear white shoes after Labor Day. I hope you've all learned a valuable lesson."

We are introduced to a bunch of dead fashion designers, who will be the subject of a fashion history quiz.

Quick confession: I have a BA in fashion design and I've taken fashion history courses and I have no idea who Madame Gres is. Embarrassing!

Anna wins the quiz because she got the easiest questions. Seriously, "Who is famous for introducing the little black dress: Prince Charles, Chanel, or Isaac Mizrahi for Target?" Duh.

Well, it doesn't matter because she wins another horrible prize. She gets to pair up the other designers with one of the dead fashion icons. So she'll either pair them up with appropriate icons or she'll be blamed for intentionally making bad matches in order to screw up another designer. Either way, she loses.

Isaac tells the designers to meet him at the runway, where he has a big announcement:

Isaac: "As a special treat, we have brought these fashion icons back from the dead! But you have to work with them really quickly because they can only be brought back to life for sixty seconds; after that, another living designer will have to die in order to restore equilibrium to the universe. It's just like that documentary series 'Pushing Daisies.' And, no, 'can we keep Dior and let Isaac die?' is not an available option."

Anna picks Chanel for herself.

Haven is paired with Yves Saint Laurent.

Daniella is paired with Christian Dior.

Johnny is paired with Versace.

Merlin is paired with Madame Gres.

James-Paul is paired with Pucci.

Reco is paired with Halston.

Isaac sends the designers on their way with one more insightful comment:

Isaac: "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to hang by a thread."

Kelly: "Who writes this shit?"

Isaac and Kelly make their annoying rounds:

Haven: "I thought I knew what I was doing but I'm really starting to second-guess myself."

Kelly: "Haven, it sounds like you are starting to second-guess yourself."

Haven: "Um, yeah, I just said that."

Kelly: "Well, I'm glad I could help."

In the fashion show, Johnny wins with a perfectly fine but not terribly interesting homage to Versace and Daniella comes in second with a very cute Dior-inspired Jacket paired with a slim pant. Daniella should have won.

Reco and Haven are the bottom two. Haven's wasn't very good; the pant fit badly and it was pretty boring. The judges hated the color but if it had fit better I think it would have been fine. Reco's, on the other hand, was just awful. It had a corset and a full skirt and, as everyone pointed out, it looked like a costume from Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament. Reco didn't know anything about Halston but you really don't need to know much about Halston to know that it isn't that. Besides, he got to see a Halston in the mini-challenge. And, on top of that, he was collaborating with the reanimated corpse of Halston. So there really was no excuse for that mess. It's obvious who should be going home, right?

Isaac: "Well, if Reco had just gotten rid of the corset and changed the neckline and removed the darts and changed the sleeves and basically made a completely different dress, I think his design would have been okay."

Obviously, they can't get rid of Reco, no matter how badly he screws up. Sorry, Haven. You didn't deserve to be out this time (although you have deserved to be out in the past).

We start the next episode with a delivery from Isaac. He sent the designers robes, obviously hoping that Merlin would stop walking around the apartment in his underwear:

Merlin: "Great, now I don't have to wear underwear!"

The designers meet Isaac in the design room:

Isaac: "Oh, my god! There are six of you left! Last week there were seven and then one person went home and now there are six of you. Seven minus one equals six. I don't want to give too much away but if another person leaves this week I think next week there may only be five of you! If that turns out to be the case, you can be sure I will make a major announcement about it."

The designers have to make lounging outfits to go with the Fernando Sanchez robes, which are sold at Sacks.

Daniella tells Laura, the annoying Harper's lady, that she likes sleeping in jumpsuits:

Laura: "Well, then, I will never sleep with you."

Daniella: "Good."

Laura: "Seriously, we have nothing in common. This just isn't going to work out between us."

Daniella: "I wasn't asking you to sleep with me, you freak!"

Laura: "If you lose the jumpsuit, I might reconsider."

Daniella: "Stay away from me!"

Anna wins the mini challenge again. I think her outfit will be sold at Sacks.

Isaac tells the designers to go down to 29th Street:

Isaac: "Kelly and I always come down here for our weekly lobotomies, I mean psychic readings. I always get those confused. Psychic readings are almost as important in the fashion industry as bungee jumping. Why do you think Nancy Reagan always looked so fabulous? Of course the bungee jumping helped but mostly it was the psychic readings."

The designers get their readings:

Johnny will be traveling.

Reco needs to let go of constraints (in other words, stop using corsets).

Daniella will meet a tall, dark stranger.

James-Paul, I'm sensing someone with a name starting with B. Maybe Bob or Bernice? Does the letter B mean anything to you?

Anna will experience a change at the workplace.

Merlin will also be traveling. Really soon.

The designers have to create a look based on their readings:

Merlin made a cute outfit that was supposed to be a sweatsuit for traveling. The pants are silly but the top and the coat are really nice. The judges think it looks like something they would dig out from the bottom of a clearance bin. They also say it simultaneously is too boring and has too much going on. I would agree it's not the most innovative look but that has never really been an important factor in the judging before so I don't know what their problem is this week.

Reco made another hot suit. It looks really good. It had nothing to do with his psychic reading, however, so he doesn't win.

Anna made a cute dress covered in vaginas because vaginas relate to nature and make her happy. The judges love it.

Daniella made an ugly print skirt and a transparent top.

James-Paul made a weird grey dress that was the opposite of his psychic reading. I actually didn't mind the bustle thing in the back but the whole dress was really unflattering, as usual. The fit across the bust was terrible. He says it's not his fault because his clothes only look good on perfect people and his model is horribly deformed. Time for him to go home.

Johnny made a green skirt with what looks like a cage over it. I don't understand it but it does make me smile so I'll give him a pass this week.

Before the judging, Merlin has a rant about Johnny being happy making ping-pong dresses and everyone just stares at him in wide-eyed amazement because they don't have a clue what he's talking about.

Reco and Anna are the top two and Anna wins because her vagina dress related to her psychic reading.

Merlin and James-Paul are the bottom two and Merlin is out because the judges are insane.

Isaac: "This week we started with six designers and one went home so next week there will be five designers. Oh, my god! Five designers! That's one less than six! Holy crap!"

The fashion show, episode seven: Catwalk of Shame!

Last week Merlin won and Angel was out, leaving Johnny hanging by a thread and Reco hanging on my last nerve:

Reco: "Well, if you don't like my attitude, you can just ride on the retarded bus with everyone else."

OK, that's it. Reco crossed the line this week between entertainingly bitchy and just plain awful. Being happy about a bad design just because you don't like your teammate is not cool.

We start this episode with Merlin getting a phone call:

Merlin: "What bitch would call in the middle of the night and disturb my beauty sleep?! Oh, good morning, Miss Kelly! What a pleasant surprise! Well, of course we would be delighted to join you in the design room after getting four glorious hours of sleep! See you soon!"

For the quickfire, the designers will be working in pairs to fix "walk of shame" outfits so they are workplace appropriate. It sounds like a great idea for a challenge. Let's see how they screw it up:

Kelly: "You'll have this big box of clothes to work with in order to fix the outfits the Harper's interns are wearing."

Well, of course. Because when you go into work wearing the outfit from the night before, there is always a big box of extra clothes just sitting around waiting for you. That makes sense.

The show wins me back with the guest judge: Amanda from Ugly Betty! Love her!

The teams this week are:

Lidia and James-Paul

Johnny and Merlin

Anna and Haven

Daniella and Reco

Reco hugs his best friend/arch enemy:

Daniella: "Ow. Your touch is like kryptonite to me. I'd rather get a hug from a filthy hippie."

The designers cut and drape new outfits for the interns:

Kelly: "OK, time's up. Get your hands off your interns!"

Bill Clinton: "I swear, I never touched that intern!"

Johnny and Merlin win! Congratulations! I must have missed when Kelly announced this prize but, apparently, Johnny wins the opportunity to have sex with Isaac Mizrahi:

Isaac: "That's a really great advantage, right?"

Uh, sure.

For the elimination challenge, Kelly introduces the designers to their new boss:

Isaac: "I was trying to find a way to make this show more about my favorite subject: ME!"

Yes, this episode is all about Isaac. Just like every episode. The designers will be creating looks that will fit into his next collection. They will be working from Isaac's mood board:

Isaac: "These are all my ideas. It's like my brain exploded all over this piece of cardboard!"

Yes, that's exactly what it looks like.

Johnny gets his five minutes in heaven with Isaac. Isaac shows him his collection:

Johnny: "I was expecting it to be bigger."

Oh, that's cold.

James-Paul says he's designing a fish-shaped dress because there was a fish on Isaac's mood board. There's just one problem with that idea, other than the fact that it's a terrible idea: he's not actually designing the dress; Lidia is. James-Paul is designing some unrelated coat that will look terrible with--and yet be far superior to--the awful fish dress that he apparently decided Lidia would be making.

Haven and Anna are working really well together:

Haven: "I was like, 'let's find the ugliest fabric possible,' and Anna was all, 'oh, my god, that's exactly what I was thinking!' It's like we're sharing half a brain!"

Daniella and Reco are arguing about whether to make pants or a ball gown:

Reco: "Fine, we'll make the pants! But I'm going to make sure they are the worst pants anyone has ever seen!"

Daniella: "Good!"

Johnny and Merlin are working really well together, basically because Merlin is just doing all the work. To his credit, Johnny came up with a nice design but we all know it would have looked like crap if he had tried to make it himself.

Merlin is talking about himself in the third person. What do we think about that?:

Suede: "Well, Suede finds that so tiresome."

Everyone says Lidia sounds like a pigeon. You know what that means: Lidia is going home this week.

The designers get dressed for the fashion show:

Haven: "Hey, look, everybody! It looks like I'm not wearing pants!"

Johnny: "Wow, Haven, it looks like you're not wearing pants."

Haven: "I know, right? So Linda Evans!"

Isaac and Kelly make their usual counterproductive circuit through the design room. First, they "help" Johnny:

Isaac: "Johnny, is this felt? Well, it is now! Hahahahaha! See, because I just felt it. Hahahahaha!"

Johnny: "I don't get it."

Next, they move on to Haven:

Isaac: "Well, of course Haven is making shorts."

Haven: "Actually, they're culottes."

Isaac: "It's really funny that you say that because, actually, no, they aren't."

Out in the Hallway of Pointless Blather, Isaac predicts what will happen:

Isaac: "It's going to get dramatic!"

Kelly: "That seems unlikely."

On to the fashion show:

Reco and Daniella make an outfit with a really ugly pair of pants and a short swing jacket. The overall look really isn't that bad but the pants are pretty hideous and the judges think the silhouette is dated:

Reco: "You're welcome."

James-Paul's coat is pretty cool but I don't know why he chose a fabric that was so similar to the dress. That makes no sense. The dress is really unflattering on the model. It's pretty bad. And, while I'm not completely familiar with Isaac's work, I can tell he wouldn't have that dress in his collection.

Anna and Haven's look is really nice, except for the fabrics. I'm fine with clashing fabrics but I really didn't like their particular choices. But I loved the shape of the coat and I thought the look would probably fit with Isaac's collection.

Johnny and Merlin also had some clashing fabrics but I happened to like their choices more. It was another nice silhouette:

Isaac: "When I first saw that coat, I didn't know why Johnny would use felt. I thought god was punishing me. But now I don't know how he couldn't have used felt. Obviously, I'm a total idiot!"

We meet the guest judge:

Isaac: "You hated her on that show where Tim Gunn rummages through you underwear drawer but you're going to love her as a judge on this show! She's the only person who enjoys talking about me more than I do! Seriously, I could listen to her talk about me all day! It's Veronica Webb!"

OK, she actually is the best guest judge this show has had. In fact, I wouldn't mind seeing her as the co-host:

Kelly: "Hey! I can hear you, you know! I'm sitting right here!"

Anna and Haven win! Congratulations! I loved the coat!

The bottom two teams are James-Paul and Lidia and Reco and Daniella.

Daniella obviously has the balls on her team and she takes responsibility for the outfit.

Lidia is also on the bottom for her awful dress.

Lidia is out. Sorry, Lidia. I loved your personal style. I just wish some of it would have come across in the clothes you made on the show.

Next week will be the men against the women:

Daniella: "Men? That's a laugh."

Warning: While I hate to deny the world the healing power of laughter, I will be on holiday next week and will have to skip the next episode. I'm so sorry! But I will be back the following week!

The Fashion Show, episode six: Square Pegs!

All this show has to do is click with the right clique and it can finally have an audience that's worthy of it.

Isaac: "No way. Not even with cleavage."

So, last week Daniella won and Keith lost. Angel is hanging by a thread. And we can see the thread unravelling before our eyes.

For the quickfire, Isaac tells us the client will be someone who is a rising star in politics:

Reco: "Ooh, I hope it's that Sandra Paley woman. She's hot."

Haven: "Um, I hear Hillary Clinton is trying to break into politics. Maybe it's her."

I think Haven's shoulder pads are somehow seeping into her brain. By the way, I know I'm alone on this but I was really digging her Linda Evans look this week.

It turns out the client is running for student body president of her high school. The designers are assigned backpacks full of stereotypes. They have to create shirts that will alienate specific social groups. For instance, Lidia has to create a shirt that will guarantee a nerd to get a beating, Anna has to create a shirt that will make a goth roll her eyes in disgust, etc. Come on! If you put on a costume of a particular social group, they will just laugh at you. Imagine if John Kerry dressed up and pretended to go hunting just to appeal to a particular demographic. Oh, wait, that actually happened. And see how well that turned out?

Anyway, Daniella wins another challenge with her tree-hugger shirt. Angel doesn't even know what a B-girl is. I don't know what that is, either.

Isaac explains the elimination challenge:

Isaac: "You'll either be creating a design for a young woman inspired by the high school clique you had in the mini challenge or you'll be creating a design for a young woman who used to be in a clique when she was in high school. Those are two completely different concepts but we won't let you know which one we want until after the fashion show and we tell you that you just didn't understand the challenge."

I don't understand the challenge.

Isaac: "Let the confusion begin!"

Johnny: "I got jock. Obviously the first thing I thought of was a lesbian working at Home Depot."

Sure, that's the first thing we all thought of.

Johnny: "So I'm making leggings with fringe on the back."

I'm going to take a wild guess and say that Johnny has never met a jock or been to Home Depot.

Daniella has "tree-hugger":

Daniella: "Wash your hair, you smelly hippies!"

What the hell is wrong with her?

With four hours to go, Isaac and Kelly decide it's time to screw with the designers:

Isaac: "We really liked Merlin's outfit but we made sure he thought we hated it."

Why?

Isaac: "We were bored."

Johnny asks for advice from the other designers and then ignores it:

Johnny: "Send me home."

Yes, please send him home.

Anna's "goth" look is pretty nice. There really isn't anything "goth" about it - it's more "rock" - but it looks fine.

Reco's "drama" look is too short and looks like a negligee. But it isn't awful.

James-Paul's "preppy" look is cute. It's wearable and I see the inspiration.

Merlin's "mean girl" look is very good. He can veer toward costume but I think he pulled it off this week.

Haven's "skater" look is also successful. I see the inspiration but it also looks like something someone could wear. I wish it weren't all black.

Lidia's "nerd" look is not great. The overall look is kind of cute but, after several viewings, I still can't figure out what's going on. I guess that cheap white jacket, if it even is a jacket, is supposed to look like a lab coat but I can't see someone wearing it.

Johnny's "jock" look is truly terrible. It's sort of a jogging outfit that can't be worn jogging. Where on earth are you supposed to wear that outfit?

Daniella's "tree-hugger" look is another success. I can see someone wearing that to a Grateful Dead concert. Or whatever it is hippies do these days.

Angel's "B-girl" look doesn't seem quite that bad to me. Obviously, it isn't good. But it doesn't seem that bad.

The guest judge this week is Charles Bronson. It's possible I heard that wrong.

Haven and Merlin are the top two:

Kelly: "Let me read you some statistics. Nine out of ten dentists recommend Dentine to their patients who chew gum."

Merlin wins! Congratulations, Merlin!

The rest of the designers are brought on stage:

Isaac: "I know I just said that I was really happy with the designs this week. But now I'm going to say that most of you didn't understand the challenge."

Angel and Johnny are the bottom two:

Kelly: "As the official spokesperson for the hip-hop community, I was really insulted by your design, Angel."

Fern: "Kelly's going to bust a cap in your ass."

Kelly: "Nobody is busting a cap in anyone's ass, Fern."

Fern: "Sorry. I got a little carried away. But I also feel a special connection to the hip-hop community."

Kelly: "Really? Were you a B-girl, Fern?"

Fern: "Oh, yes. I was a Bea-girl. In fact, I was the president of the Bea Arthur fan club."

Now on to Johnny:

Kelly: "Johnny, ninety percent of the audience said they would not buy your outfit."

Johnny: "Only ninety percent?"

Kelly: "The other ten percent wouldn't stop crying long enough to fill out the questionnaire."

Johnny: "Oh, thank goodness. I didn't want to be a sellout."

The designers fight backstage:

Johnny: "I don't need to be here."

Reco: "I'm sick of this."

Johnny: "Haven, Reco is mad because you were in the top two."

Haven: "Reco, why don't you just say it to my face?"

Reco: "Daniella, you and I are the only talented ones here."

Daniella: "Reco, I am so annoyed/flattered by what you just said."

Johnny: "Whatever."

OK, did you get all that? Because the important thing to understand is that the whole argument was about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Meanwhile, back in the Hallway of Doom, the judges make their bad decision based on a false premise: The judges decide that Johnny is always really close to being good and Angel just has no potential.

REALLY?! ARE THEY ON CRACK?! Every week Johnny throws a bunch of random fabric at a model to see what sticks and then calls it art. Maybe he's a genius but I haven't seen any evidence of it on this show.

Anyway, Angel is out:

Fern: "Yo, check it, dog. We're just not feeling it."

Kelly: "Please don't do that, Fern."

The Fashion Show, Episode Five: the psych out episode!

Last week, after consulting a bowl of chicken entrails, I accurately predicted that Reco would win and Andrew would be sent home. I'm afraid that exhausted my psychic powers so I won't be doing more performances. Please stop asking if I do Bar Mitzvahs.

I have to add that Angel totally should have won with that amazing shirt dress. She's so talented; it's a shame she's such a disaster.

We start this episode with Reco telling us that Lidia should have "went" home because Andrew was cute. That's as good a criteria for judging this show as any other, I guess.

For the Bizaare Quickfire Challenge, Isaac brings out a dress:

Isaac: "Being a designer is like being a secret agent. You get to drive cool cars and talk into your shoe and, most importantly, you get to kill people with impunity!"

Kelly: "I'm pretty sure you can't do that last one. And, also, I keep trying to explain that you don't actually have a shoe phone."

Isaac: "Really? But whenever I scream into my shoe, someone always brings me what I want."

Kelly: "Just explain the challenge."

Isaac: "Right. This intricate couture gown took 700 hours to create and sells at Target for $39.95. Take a good look because I want you to draw me . . . a bath! HAHAHAHAHAHA! No, seriously, that sounds really relaxing. I'd like to take a bath."

The designers draw Isaac a bath. Daniella wins! Congratulations, Daniella!

Daniella: "Wow, thank you so much! I can't believe I managed to win despite that fact that James-Paul's gigantic head was blocking me the entire time."

Daniella wins possibly the worst prize ever for a quickfire challenge: during the elimination challenge, she will have the opportunity to punch one of the other designers in the stomach for absolutely no reason.

Isaac: "That's a really great advantage, right?"

Well, it's no more ridiculous than usual.

For the elimination challenge, the designers go to the famous Cross-Promotion Modeling Agency, where they think they will be meeting their models but, instead, meet a bunch of morbidly obese women:

Daniella: "Oh, my god! I think I'm gonna barf!"

James-Paul: "Where did you find these sideshow freaks?"

Reco: "Well, personally, I like a woman to have a little junk in her trunk."

Seriously, some of those women must have been at least a size 8. That building must have a freight elevator.

The designers spend the next several hours tying mattresses to their dress forms:

Larry Miller: "If we don't turn your dress form into a size 16, your mattress is FREEEEEE!!!"

You're killing me, Larry.

Daniella is crying because she's young and she knows what young people like and young people do not like huge asses:

Isaac: "Daniella, your model is perfectly normal, it's kind of sizist of you not to want to design for her."

Daniella: "Just because I think fat people shouldn't have nice clothes, doesn't make me a sizist!"

James-Paul is also having problems understanding the purpose of clothing:

James-Paul: "As a designer, I don't think I should be burdened by the fact that someone might actually have to wear my designs."

On to the fashion show:

Keith's red dress with a black waistband looks a lot like Andrew's losing design from last week. But it's even uglier and more boring, if that's possible.

Johnny created a little black dress with the picture of a smaller print dress sewn onto the front. It's actually pretty flattering but it's a little tacky and dated. Other Eric says he remembers Downtown Julie Brown wearing that dress.

Anna's black and blue dress makes her model look dumpy. It's not a bad dress but it's completely wrong for that woman.

Daniella created a very flattering suit. Her model looks fantastic in it. The little black sheath fits perfectly and the navy coat is very cute.

Haven created a bright pink monstrosity. OK, it's really not that bad but the weird collar makes her model's neck look short.

James-Paul created a black skirt and a white top that made his model look like a linebacker. I understand he's all theoretical and shit but he's going to have to make something that actually looks good one of these weeks or he'll be out.

Lidia created a nicely draped dress paired with a satin blouse for a lovely woman who must have been eight or nine feet tall. I liked it.

Merlin claims his model wanted a skirt that was too tight to fit into. I thought the jacket was nice; it de-emphasized the hips, if that was the point. But the skirt was just awful.

Angel, once again, didn't finish her dress. It was held together with pins and was kind of a mess. But if it had been hemmed properly and the model were wearing Spanx, it might have been pretty. It certainly eliminated the woman's imagined short-waistedness.

Reco created a charcoal suit with a red top for a woman who was concerned about her perfectly normal breasts. As one would expect from Reco, it was flattering and well-made. And it looked like something a hooker would wear to a job interview.

Daniella wins! Congratulations, Daniella! I think that was the right decision.

Daniella punches Angel in the stomach:

Isaac: "Daniella, we respect your decision to punch Angel in the stomach. But there are two other designers we would like to punch in the stomach this week."

Keith and Merlin join Angel in the bottom three:

Keith: "This wasn't my fault. I had to spend the entire time rescuing this awful dress."

Isaac: "But you designed the dress."

Keith: "Yes, but trust me, it was even worse before I rescued it."

Merlin and Angel are safe. Isaac tells Angel she needs to do some soul searching. I have no idea how soul searching will help her time-management skills but Isaac is the expert so who am I to argue?

Keith is out. Sorry Keith; you'll have to find another venue for sharing your boring stories about making clothes out of sheets.

My Star-Studded Trip to Central Illinois!


Obviously, being stuck in Los Angeles, I look forward to visiting my family in Central Illinois because it gives me an opportunity for celebrity sightings. And this trip didn't disappoint. OK, so most of the sightings were in Chicago but it was still part of my trip to Central Illinois.

First, let me mention my flying experience. Other Eric convinced me to fly out of Burbank, arguing that any inconvenience caused by having to change planes is compensated for by not having to drive in traffic to LAX. But he didn't mention the awful planes you have to fly on. Every plane I got on was smaller and shittier than the one before. I don't recommend Delta connecting through Salt Lake City. The people working for Delta are wonderful but their planes are awful.

And I have to say that if the good people of Utah would stop spending all their money telling Californians whom they can marry, maybe they could afford to spruce up their airport a little. What a dump. Don't get me wrong, I think the Utah desert is gorgeous; it's just where they've tried to approximate civilization that they run into problems. I'm just joking; the Burbank airport makes the Salt Lake City airport look like the Taj Mahal. And I know without Utah we wouldn't have the Osmonds and Other Eric's life would be that much less joyful.

Anyway, I survived the flights (all four of them) and I even got to take Amtrack in Illinois, which was fun! I don't get to ride trains often and I enjoyed it. Apparently, all the guys on the train with the matching sweat pants were just-released prisoners and I got to sit next to one! Jealous?

The first celebrity sighting was at Avec.


As you can see in the picture, there are communal tables so our group of five shared a table with another group of five. I was sitting at the head (or foot) of the table and sitting directly across from me at the other end was the Black Hammer, herself, Antonia Lofaso from Top Chef season four! Sitting next to her was the season four winner, Stephanie Izard! Sorry, I didn't get a picture or talk to them; we decided to let them enjoy their meal. But it was very exciting to be sitting at the same table with them! The food, by the way, was very good.

The next day my sister and I walked up Michigan Avenue and did some shopping with Joan Cusack at H&M! I love her! And she was with her family shopping in the men's section so I was picking out shirts next to her for quite a while. I bought quite a bit because the store had a better selection than H&M in Los Angeles.

After driving down to Sullivan, which is in Central Illinois, somewhere south-east of Decatur, we went for drinks at Jibby's Bar & Restaurant, which was founded in 1947 by a guy named Jibby (obviously). I remember my grandparents talking about eating there. The place saw a lot of stars over the years because of Sullivan's Little Theatre on the Square but it was a little run down.

Well, last year TLC's Doug Wilson bought the place and remodeled it and it just reopened. The place looks great and the appetizers we got were delicious. And we got to talk to Doug! He obviously loves Sullivan (his home town is nearby) and he loves working the room! He was a very gracious host and talked to us about the remodel and his future plans for expanding. We had a great time!

My sister did actually get a picture of Doug, though it was by accident. She was taking a picture of my cousins and some drunken stranger next to us yelled at Doug to come over for a picture so she took a picture of Doug posing with the drunk guy. I'll post it when she emails it to me.

The other thing I have to mention is playing Cornhole, which is like horseshoes but you toss bags filled with corn into a hole in a board. I don't know if it is just popular in the Midwest because the Wikipedia page has been deleted. I can't imagine why there would be a problem with a page about cornholing. Anyway, it was fun!

Well, that's enough excitement for one post. I'll be back this weekend with a new Fashion Show recap!

The Fashion Show, episode 4: blogging from the future!

They said it couldn't be done but I wouldn't listen! They said it would be too dangerous but I didn't care! I'm the only blogger brave or just plain foolhardy enough to attempt it! I'll be recapping this week's episode without actually viewing it! Please don't try this at home!

Yeah, sorry about this but I'm flying to Illinois Thursday so I won't be able to see episode 4 until I get back in a week. So this post will be completely fabricated, based on what I think might happen in this episode. See if you can tell the difference!

OK, so I did watch previews of the episode. Apparently this episode is about shoes. I'm going to say they have to make dresses out of shoes. Yeah, that's it.

But first, that Harper's lady comes in for the Bizarre Quickfire Challenge. For this mini challenge, they have to do the opposite of the elimination challenge and make shoes out of dresses. I'm going to predict that the Harper's lady mocks the designers and then gives immunity to Merlin.

So, for the elimination challenge, Isaac takes the designers on a field trip down to the famous Shoe District of Manhattan:

Isaac: "Designers, you each have forty-two thousand dollars to spend on shoes for this challenge. Spend it wisely."

The designers run around screaming like children let loose in a candy store. Except for Angel, who crawls into a corner and cries:

Angel: "These shoes are not avant-gardy enough!"

Back in the design room, the bitching begins:

Anna: "Hey, Daniella, look at that pleating on Andrew's dress."

Daniella: "Yeah, it's awful, isn't it?"

Anna: "No, I was going to say it looks just like the pleating on the skirt I did in the second challenge. It's on the waistband and it doesn't really look anything like the pleating on my skirt but, other than that, it's an exact copy!"

Daniella: "Oh, my god! You're right! He never could have come up with pleating on his own!"

Anna: "What should we do?"

Daniella: "Let's not speak to him or be his friend."

Anna: "That seems more like a favor than a punishment."

On to the fashion show:

Angel creates an avant-garde shirt dress, with little origami shoe trees pasted all over it.

Reco creates something fabulous in about an hour. He's the LensCrafters of fashion.

James-Paul creates something based on shapes because he loves shapes and thinks they are the big new thing.

Johnny creates a dress that is actually a giant shoe with a rack in it so you can hang up your other dresses.

Lidia creates a nice vintagy looking shoe dress.

Anna was so worried about what Andrew was doing that she forgot to make anything.

Daniella creates something for young people because she's young and knows what young people like.

Andrew creates a pleated shoe.

Merlin creates something with feathers and a live crocodile.

Haven creates something but I can't explain it.

Reco wins and Andrew is sent home.

Then, at the end of the episode there is an amazing twist: it was all a dream:

Fern: "So I had this terrible dream that I was on a show with Isaac Mizrahi and you were there and you were there and it wasn't Project Runway and I couldn't figure out why I was wasting my time."

The Fashion Show, Episode Three: The Prick Up Your Sleeve!

There was something wrong with this episode. The elimination challenge was good, there were several garments I loved, and there was an adequate amount of bitchiness. And yet something was wrong. I can't quite put my finger on it.

Kelly: "Was I not in the episode enough?"

No, that wasn't it.

Isaac: "I should have acted more disappointed in the designers, right?"

No, that's not it, either.

Fern: "I'll tell you what was wrong with this episode. It was boring as shit."

That's it! Thank you, Fern!

Seriously, this was not the best episode. Anyway, last week Laura was out for using red tulle and ruining an otherwise horrible dress and Johnny is still hanging by a thread for not knowing how to sew and for being kind of a douche about it:

Johnny: "I assumed I would have a sweatshop full of third-world children turning my vision into reality."

Yeah, there are several designers in this group who are almost proud of the fact they can't sew.

We start this episode with everyone complaining about the teams:

Reco: "Why, oh why did I have to be so tall? If my neck weren't so damn long, I could be on team Little People and I wouldn't be stuck with these losers!"

Poor Reco. It's a curse to be that talented.

Reco: "And good looking."

Right. So anyway ... oh, look, it's Isaac:

Isaac: "No rest for the chic. Laugh at my joke, people!"

For the Bizarre Quickfire Challenge, the designers have to repair four ugly suits. OK, I loved last week's challenge, choosing between the cheap and the expensive clothes, but this challenge is stupid.

Reco's teammates were a mess:

Markus: "Oh, my god, I just poked my eye out!"

With a sewing needle?

Markus: "Yes, I'm really uncoordinated!"

Lidia wins. Did she win something? Immunity?

Isaac and Kelly start their routine:

Kelly: "Wow, Isaac, that certainly is a jacket you're wearing."

Isaac: "No, you're supposed to say that it's a fabulous jacket I'm wearing."

Kelly: "But I hate it."

Isaac: "Well, speaking of fabulous jackets ..."

Kelly: "We weren't."

Isaac: "Yes, well, anyway, for the elimination challenge, you will be creating outerwear for each season of the year."

The coats have to have some special feature so that they can do something other than just being coats. Could you give us an example of what you're talking about?

Isaac: "I'd like to have a coat that can fly."

Kelly: "I'd like to have a coat made out of beef jerky so I can eat it when I get hungry."

Well, that makes sense.

Kelly: "God, I love beef jerky."

Reco is carrying his entire team. Or so the editing would make it appear:

Reco: "I'm designing and making all the coats for my team because I'm working with a bunch of losers. But I don't mind taking time out of my busy schedule to remind you how talented I am."

Yes, you're talented.

Reco: "And charming."

Of course.

Daniella is frustrated as team leader because her teammates are actually taking her suggestions:

Daniella: "Andrew won't do what I tell him. I keep telling him to make a short coat that transforms into a trench and he won't listen."

Andrew: "OK, fine! I'll do it!"

Daniella: "Oh, my god! You totally stole my idea!"

The designers are having problems with the challenge:

Keith: "I don't want my coat to be a refrigerator. However, I wouldn't say no to my underpants being a microwave."

Isaac is trying to get Haven to tell him about her coat:

Isaac: "Can you explain the shape?"

Haven: "No."

Isaac: "Do you mean you can't explain it or you refuse to explain it?"

Haven: "Could you repeat the question?"

On to the fashion show:

Keith created a metallic summer coat with a cape that can be used to grill meat. I can't describe how horrific it is.

Andrew created a really great coat that was short and puffy and then transformed into a long trench. It didn't look gimmicky; it looked completely wearable. He did a great job!

Daniella: "It was all my idea."

Shut it.

Anna created a very cute little coat with crap stuffed into the puffy sleeves.

Daniella created another coat with crap on the sleeves, except hers is awful.

Angel created a coat that transforms into another coat that looks almost the same but with a broken zipper hanging off the back.

Lidia created a cute plastic raincoat that she promised us was going to turn into an umbrella but didn't. Very disappointing.

Merlin created something black so that I couldn't make out any of the detail. Note to designers: don't use black fabric for complicated garments. It just looks like a big blob on television. Even in HD!

James-Paul created a sleeping bag that can also be used as a sleeping bag. Seriously, I love it!

Johnny created a shoe organizer that really shouldn't ever be worn as a coat.

Haven created a really stupid coat that didn't really do anything interesting. I didn't mind the shape but it was just so boring. What's her excuse? She's addicted to hairspray. And possibly also crack.

Markus created a big mess.

Reco created a really hot ski suit with a cape that becomes a blanket/espresso maker. I love jumpsuits! This is the judges' favorite:

Reco: "Well, I hate to brag but I think it turned out pretty good."

Oh, stop being so modest, Reco!

Daniella's team wins. Andrew had the winning design. Congratulations, Andrew!

Daniella: "Actually, I really hate to do this but that was totally my design."

Isaac: "Why do you keep doing that? You're on the winning team every damn week! Why can't you just be happy about it and shut your cake hole?"

Markus is out. He's a dreamer, not a designer. He's also a lover and not a fighter.

Tune in next week when, god willing, something interesting happens.

The Fashion Show, episode two of the first and only season (just kidding): Social-Lite (looks great, less thinking)!

Get ready for the most shocking episode of The Fashion Show ever! EVER!

Isaac Mizrahi: "Well, I am so disappointed!"

You thought the clothes were bad again this week?

Isaac: "No, I'm so disappointed that Craigslist got rid of the erotic services section!"

OK, picture it: Sicily, 1984. Kristin thinks she has just invented the versatile black knit tube dress:

Kristin: "I don't know what was wrong with my tube dress idea. You could wear it as a skirt or a dress or a scarf or a turban or one half of a pair of leggings ..."

Yeah, or you could make a brooch or a pterodactyl, we get it, it's versatile. The thing is, there's a reason it didn't take off in the 1980s. Most women don't need one ugly garment that can be transformed into several different ugly garments.

Kristin: "You know what? I don't need this shit. I'm going home."

Well, now I feel bad. Seriously, I did not see that coming.

Other Eric: "You didn't see that coming? They announced last week that someone would be going home this week."

Someone is supposed to go home every week. That's the point of the show.

Other Eric: "No, they said someone was quitting."

Really? Well, like I've said before, I'm not this clueless by accident. I work hard at it.

Anyway, I'm really sorry Kristin felt she had to leave. Obviously, Isaac's critique of her outfit last week was completely out of line but who could know she was going to be this sensitive? I wish she had hung in there a little longer. We wish you well, Kristin!

On to the show:

Isaac: "Remember how much you loved working in your teams last time? You don't? Trust me, you loved it. Well, you get to work in those same teams this week! And since Team Sausage Casing is down two members, we have a special surprise for James-Paul. Because you won last week, James-Paul, you get to choose someone to change teams!"

James-Paul: "Wow. What a treat."

Daniella uses her Jedi mind tricks:

Daniella: "You will pick me to change teams."

James-Paul: "I will pick Daniella to change teams."

Daniella: "this is almost too easy."

Harper's Bizarre Quickfire Challenge:

The teams will have to pick garments out of a box and create one outfit with pieces totaling several thousand dollars and one similar outfit worth one tenth of that. Super fun challenge that sounds so easy but apparently isn't:

Markus: "This outfit smells expensive!"

Wrong!

Team Bolero wins! They will get a little extra money to spend in the elimination challenge.

The teams pick their leaders:

Team Little People is Angel, Lidia, Merlin, and James-Paul, with James-Paul as the leader.

Reco: "I don't like the little people."

Well, that's just prejudiced.

Reco: "I can't be prejudiced. I drive a Prius."

James-Paul: "The theme of our collection will be Stealth Fighter, which is this plane that was invented a couple of years ago."

OK, I know it sometimes seems like the 1980s were just a couple of years ago except that, wait a minute, no, it doesn't. The B-2 Bomber was developed before James-Paul was born.

Team Die-Nasty is Johnny, Reco, Markus, Laura, and Haven, with Haven as the leader:

Haven: "My inspiration is me!"

Huh?

Haven: "You know! Me! Linda Evans and me. Linda Evans and me wearing shoulder pads and bitch-slapping each other in a fountain."

OK, I think I speak for everyone when I say yeah, we'd like to see that.

Team Sausage Casing is Andrew, Daniella, Keith, and Anna, with Anna as the leader:

Anna: "We have no inspiration."

Fair enough.

Some socialite enters the design room. I've never heard of her. But I did let my subscription to Guns and Ammo and Socialites expire so I might have missed something.

The designers have $40 each (or $50 in the case of Team Little People) to create outfits for the socialite's busy socialiting schedule:

Socialite: "Oh, my god, I am, like, so busy! Tomorrow I'm eating lunch and then on Friday I'm getting waxed and then next week I'm designing a line of jewelry and releasing my newest sex tape!"

Where does she find the time?

Anyway, the important thing to know about our socialite is that she likes to dress like a whore and she thinks everyone is obsessed with her hair:

Socialite: "People are always saying that what's on my head is more interesting than what's in my head. People are so sweet!"

Someone get me the TRESemmé shine spray! Stat!

Laura wants to use red tulle on her dress. Everyone tells her not to use it because it's awful:

Laura: "I don't understand what you are saying."

Everyone: "Don't use the red tulle! It's awful!"

Laura: "OK, you don't have to yell! I heard you the first five times! You said you kind of like the red tulle but you're not absolutely sure about how much of it I should use, right?"

Everyone: "No! We hate it! Don't use it! DO NOT USE IT!"

Laura: "I feel like you are trying to tell me something. Could you please stop being so vague?"

Everyone: "Please don't use the red tulle. We are begging you not to use it."

Laura: "Got it. Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to putting the red tulle on my dress."

During the commercial break, we learn that Isaac only sleeps four hours a day:

Isaac: "It's the four hours I'm filming this show. Can you tell?"

On to the fashion show:

The huge stars in the audience include a TRESemmé stylist. I wonder how they scored her!

Johnny's model's boobs are falling out but Reco happens to have some duct tape:

Reco: "Honey, I never leave the house without duct tape."

Angel's dress for an art gallery opening is beautiful! Close up you can see that the fabrication and construction are not really high end but from a few feet away, it looks great! And I'm glad she didn't put paper airplanes on it. Fern thinks it's a little dressy for a gallery opening and I don't disagree with her. I guess most people don't wear cocktail dresses to gallery openings. But some people do so I think it's perfectly appropriate.

Merlin's ladies luncheon dress is just weird. I guess it's not bad.

James-Paul's rock concert outfit is bad. He thinks it's too conceptual but it's really just too unflattering. it makes the model look wide and it's not as interesting as he thinks it is. And nobody would wear it to a rock concert.

Lidia's charity gala dress is pretty basic pageant wear, slit up to her hoohoo. It looks cheap (which, of course, it was).

Anna's ladies luncheon look is a skirt with pleating detail and a purple blouse. It's appropriate for lunch and the skirt is pretty.

Andrew's little black dress for an art gallery opening is appropriate for the occasion and Isaac likes it but I think it's dull.

Daniella's rock concert look is a short bustier jumpsuit. you know how I love jumpsuits but this one isn't doing it for me.

Keith's pewter strapless gown for a charity gala is OK.

Johnny's look for an art gallery opening is a mess. The skirt is kind of cute but the top is just pasted on and Isaac is freaking out over the fact that it's just pinned together.

Markus's ladies luncheon dress looks like a paper bag.

Haven's movie screening look is shorts with a pink top. The only thing I can think to say about this outfit is that it didn't require much fabric.

Laura's rock concert look is a totally clichéd black dress with the stupid red tulle ruffle everyone warned her about.

Reco's charity gala gown is obviously well made. I just don't get it.

Judges' Table:

I have to stop a moment to comment on what Lidia is wearing. It's a gold pleated dress with a crinoline. It's gorgeous! Did she make it or is it vintage? Does anyone know?

Anyway, Anna's team wins! Daniella wins the challenge! Congratulations, Daniella!

Haven's team, Team Die-Nasty, is on the bottom. The bottom three are Laura, Markus, and Johnny. All three are total crap but I guess Johnny and Markus were at least trying to do something a little more interesting. Laura's dress looked like a reject from an old music video.

Johnny nearly blows it:

Isaac: "Johnny, the construction of your garment is terrible."

Johnny: "Well, I'm a designer. I didn't know this was going to be The Seamstress Show."

Isaac: "Haven't you ever watched this show before?"

Johnny: "No. This is the first season of this show."

Isaac: "Oh, you know what I mean! Don't fuck with me! I only sleep four hours a night and I'm tired!"

Laura is out.

Laura: "I don't understand. Did they like the red tulle ruffle or not?"

The Fashion Show, Season One, Premier: I guess I'm buying it!

If you are like me, you've probably been saying to yourself, "You know, I love Bravo's reality competition shows like Top Chef and Shear Genius but I wish there were a similar show with fashion designers! I know; genius idea, right? Well, guess what? Our prayers have finally been answered and Bravo now brings us The Fashion Show staring Isaac Mizrahi!

Just like Top Chef, there will be a quickfire challenge. Also like Top Chef, the "mentor" will also be a judge, which explains why he will be providing absolutely no helpful advice to the contestants while they are working.

The biggest innovation will be the $125,000 prize:

Andy Cohen: "$100,000 is so last season."

Seriously, what can you buy with $100,000 these days? After you've bought a Saturn and a four-bedroom pool-home in San Bernardino, you would barely have enough left over to buy Isaac Mizrahi's entire line at Target. That extra $25,000 really makes a difference.

First, let's meet the hosts/judges:

Isaac Mizrahi: "I'm a famous fashion designer. Clap for me."

Kelly Rowland: "I've worn clothes before."

Fern Mallis: "I invented fashion shows."

Fantastic. Now let's meet the designtestants (that's my clever take on "cheftestants"). I'll be describing them by their most obvious and superficial attributes so we can tell them apart:

Kristin: She's the total nightmare with the red streak in her hair who thinks she's the normal one. Kristin runs her own company, which "takes a lot of hard work" because she's 23 (apparently, it would be easier if she were another age).

James-Paul: He's the one who wants to be the next Christian. His design aesthetic is totally postcolonialist. Don't ask. He worked for Vivian Westwood (subtext: "I worked for Vivian Fucking Westwood, bitches!").

Merlin: Merlin is self-taught because he wasn't accepted to gay superhero school.

Lidia: She's the one who looks like Salma Hayek. She designs clothes for avant-gardes.

Reco: He's the black bald guy with the amazingly long neck. He used stripping to work his way through school. Yes, a tale as old as time. OK, so he was actually designing clothes for strippers and not actually stripping but close enough.

Keith: He's the one with stupid rocker hair. He is an eveningwear designer.

Laura: She has black curly hair. Laura is an eco-friendly designer. You're welcome, earth.

Johnny R.: He's the one who looks like John Belushi dressed as a samurai. He dropped out of school so he could devote all his energy to reviving the harem-pant. Again, you're welcome, earth.

Jonny: He's the one who will have to go because we already have a Johnny. He designs men's suits but it doesn't matter.

Haven: She's blond. She is inspired by the 80s. I just hope it's the 1880s.

Markus: He wears glasses sometimes. He went to the best fashion design school on earth. Still not as good as the school on Uranus, though.

Angel: She's the Asian woman with short hair. She works with invisible ink or something.

Daniella: She thinks you are old.

Anna: She's the one with mousy brown hair.

Andrew Panty: He is called the panty-Christ, which is a clever play on his last name.

And on to the show:

Isaac Mizrahi and Kelly Rowland enter the design room. The designers apparently had no idea who the hosts would be and are obviously excited to meet a fashion icon like Kelly.

Isaac: "So, listen up. This show is about wearability and saleability. I don't want to see all the weird-ass shit you see on other shows. Got it?"

Harper's Bizarre Quickfire Challenge:

The quickfire challenge will be designing a little black dress out of a little black cotton T-shirt. It sounds like a fun challenge but apparently they can work with more than one shirt so it really is just about designing with black cotton jersey, which really isn't that exciting. I'd like to see them rework one large shirt into a little dress.

Laura Brown of Harper's judges the results. After making a bunch of pointlessly snide comments that only she finds amusing, she picks Merlin, Keith, and Johnny R. as the best. I thought Merlin's was very pretty.

Those three designers will be team leaders in the elimination challenge:

Isaac: "Come on, that's a great advantage, right?"

No, Isaac, anyone who has ever seen a reality competition show knows it is not a great advantage.

So, on to the elimination challenge:

Isaac: "Every season, when I start designing my line, I always think about what will be that one must-have piece."

Kelly: "Me, me, me. Can you ever talk about anything other than yourself, Isaac?"

The teams have to create a must-have piece that will be worn in five different looks. Genius challenge.

Team Hammer Pants is Johnny R., Reco, Markus, Haven, and Laura. Johnny decides that the must-have piece will be a grey satin harem pant. It's so crazy it just might work.

Team Sausage Casing is Keith, Andrew, Jonny, and Anna. Team leader Keith wants to do a simple pencil skirt but team nightmare Kristin decides that the must-have piece should be a reversible doubled double-knit tube dress that will be so tight it can never be removed. I guess there is some logic to the idea that if you make a garment that women can't take off, they will be forced to wear it with everything else they own. But it's more of a must-continue-to-wear piece than a must-have piece.

Team Bolero is Merlin, Angel, James-Paul, Lidia, and Daniella. The first idea for a vest is fortunately shot down by team know-it-all Daniella. Then they discuss a collarless jacket, which immediately makes me cringe but then they narrow it down to a bolero jacket, which gets my approval. Team pain-in-the-ass Daniella then decides on the color and reminds everyone that they are old.

Daniella and Merlin fight over the length of the bolero jacket, the age-appropriateness of what Daniella is wearing, and the fact than Merlin claims to be male. Merlin makes a bitchy comment about male domination because he's crazy and says weird things sometimes and Daniella will bring this up later for absolutely no reason.

The morning of the fashion show, the designers all help Kristin get dressed and then they head down to the TRESemmé studios or something and get the models into hair and makeup:

Some Gay Hairstylist: "Hey, Katie, could you get me the TRESemmé Shine Spray?"

Katie: "What the fuck is that?"

Gay Hairstylist: "Jesus Christ, Katie, it's the product placement! Will you just pretend to get it for me? It's not like I'm actually going to use it."

On to the runway. Sorry, I mean on to the fashion show:

Reco: Simple tank and a beautiful jacket with a big dramatic collar over the harem pant. The color combination is really nice. This is about as good as a satin harem pant is going to look.
Laura: Layered knitwear over the harem pants. The gathering at the waist is not flattering but, overall, it's another pretty good look that distracts from the silly harem pant.
Johnny R.: The worst of the harem pant looks. The waist on the pant is awful and the top is ugly. I think his harem pant idea was interesting but this look is bad.
Haven: Almost as bad as Johnny's. Very similar looks.
Markus: Not quite as bad as the previous two but still pretty bad. The top is cheap looking and the pant is pulled up too high.
Kristin: Kind of sloppy and you can barely see the must-have skirt.
Jonny: Oh, sweet Jesus.
Keith: I guess it could be worse. Just not much to it.
Anna: Red jacket over the black tube. It's fine.
Andrew: Pretty white top over black tube skirt. It's nice but boring.
Daniella: Kind of boring outfit with the navy bolero over a red top and pants.
Merlin: The bolero is paired with a little navy dress/puffy shorts outfit with red trim. It's not exactly wearable but it's pretty cute. I like it.
Angel: She paired the bolero with a shiffon top and a pretty skirt. It's OK.
James-Paul: Beautiful black dress. I love the dress. I don't get the pairing with the navy bolero. It doesn't look bad with the bolero because they are both dark and blend together but it just seems random.
Lidia: She paired the bolero with a big, puffy pink top that gave the outfit really bad proportions. I hated it.

On to the judging:

Isaac: "You all embarrased me. I can never show my face in public again. Do you know how many important people were in that audience? How could you do this to me? After all I've given you! After the show, I felt the only way to remove eternal shame from the Mizrahi family was to commit hari kari. Fortunately, Fern Mallis is built like a linebacker and she took me down before I could harm myself. I hope you've all learned a valuable lesson from this."

Team Bolero wins!

Daniella: "It's not my fault!"

Isaac: "Daniella, your team won."

Daniella: "Yes, and I just want to make it clear that it's not my fault. Merlin is mean and he said something that hurt my feelings so I think he should take the blame."

Isaac: "YOUR TEAM WON!"

Daniella: "Whatever."

Merlin and James-Paul had the top two designs and James-Paul wins! Congratulations James Paul!

Kelly: "Some version of this design that barely resembles your original will be on sale at Bravo.com."

Kristin and Jonny are the bottom two. Based on which one is the biggest total nightmare, I think Kristin should be out. But based on their completed garments, it's pretty clear Jonny is at the bottom:

Isaac: "Jonny, you ruined the best part of a woman."

You mean her mind?

Isaac: "No, her breasts."

Oh, right. Jonny's out. Apparently, we're just not buying it.

Who Wants To Be a Fashion Show!

Yes, the network that brought us the hit show "So You Think You Can Supermodel" brings us the next big PR rip-off "Fashion: The Show" and I can't wait to watch!

I don't know much about it but, just from the title, I suspect it will have something to do with fashion. We'll see!

The good people at Blogging Project Runway will be covering the show on their new site Blogging Bravo.

It looks like Tom&Lorenzo will also be covering the show on Project Rungay.

And I think I will be recapping it so tune in this weekend!