Project Runway Season One, Episode One: The Beginning!

Most of you probably know that the fabulous boys at Project Rungay are blogging season one in order to help all the fans survive the wait for season four. If you haven't already, check out their site (see my links) and start watching season one with us on DVD. I thought it would be fun to blog along with them. Hope they don't mind!

Season one, episode one! OMG, this is where it all began! Could you just die? Other Eric and I have never seen this first episode so it is very exciting even though we know who wins and loses the challenge.

OK, so we start with only 12 designers and there is really no "road to the runway." We very briefly see a few auditions and, sadly, only a fraction of the amazing wierdos we see auditioning for subsequent seasons.

We meet the designers:

We learn that Robert thinks that women are like sports cars. He knows they need regular servicing. What a gentleman.

We learn that Wendy just wants to be everyone's mom. Isn't she just so sweet? Everyone loves her. I predict she is going to be really popular with the other designers and a huge fan favorite!

We learn how Austin has always tried so hard to fit in. This really goes without saying. (Note to Austin: I love the lipstick but you're having a little mustache problem. I could wax that for you.)

We are reminded how truly bizarre Daniel Franco is.

So we are introduced to the host, Heidi Klum! OMG, she looks fantastic! There is something different about her. What is it? I can't quite put my finger on it . . . oh, I've got it: she isn't pregnant! That's odd.

Heidi tells us some important things:

Heidi: "Cotton is the official fabric of Project Runway!"

Really? That's fantastic! What the hell does that mean?

Also:

Heidi: "The most important thing in fashion, and people often forget this, is the models. Without the models, the clothes would just lie in a pile on the floor. You never thought about it that way, did you? Well, that's why I'm here: to blow your minds."

We are introduced to Tim Gunn. Our lives are now complete.

Kara is wearing giant gold hoop earrings. Vanessa is wearing even larger gold hoop earrings. In fact, they are bigger than her head.

Kara: "Don't be trying to steal my style, bitch."

Vanessa: "Whatever, Miss Jamaica."

We go to a party. In what will become tradition, there is lots of champagne. In what won't become tradition, this actually feels sort of like a party since it is not part of a challenge. Except Daniel Franco is basically cheating by starting to work and measure his model during the party, even though the designers were told they weren't to start working on the challenge until the next day. Well, it doesn't matter because soon the party has turned into work when the models are forced to dance like trained monkeys. I'm just kidding; it actually looks fun. Then everyone tries to get Heidi to walk for them:

Heidi: "Who, me? Oh, no, I couldn't possibly, I'm far too shy, no, no, really, oh, alright. Watch and learn, bitches!"

Damn, she's good!

The next day the designers are forced to walk to Queens to buy groceries because Bravo doesn't have the budget to feed them. Oh, alright; they are actually shopping at a grocery store for materials to make a dress.

Vanessa: "Obviously, melons would be totally inappropriate for evening wear. They're really more sportswear. Evening wear goes with fish, right? Or is it white wine? I always get that mixed up."

In the workroom:

Daniel is following his bliss all the way to cuckoo-land.

Starr? Um, Kayne just called. He wants his dress back.

Austin is having some shrinkage.

"Eric, don't go there."

Kara: "If Morgan ever shows up I'm painting the shit out of her."

Tim: "Make it work."

OMG, Other Eric gasps, "This is the first time he says it!"

I think we will all remember where we were the first time we heard Tim say these immortal words.

Nora's lawn-chair dress is gorgeous but Austin wins with his amazing corn-husk dress!

There are several possible losers: Starr, Daniel, or Wendy. Although, I have to say, as bad as Wendy's is, at least she did a lot more work than just wrapping a shower curtain around her model. I actually thought her idea of making sort of a chainmail out of lifesavers was great but it didn't work. I guess it was too time-consuming.

Anyway, Daniel loses with his hideous butcher-paper coat. Daniel tells Heidi he loves her. Heidi looks uncomfortable and shakes his hand goodbye instead of kissing him. She calls security and has him taken away.