Project Runway Season Four, Episode 7: Going to Prom (or is it The Prom?)!

Heidi: "Coming up in this episode: Ricky gets emotional!"

No, really. I don't believe it.

But first a word from our sponsor:

Eric Three Thousand is brought to you this week by "27 Dresses." COME ON! It's a movie about dresses! You're going to love it!

OK, but it better really be a movie about 27 dresses! There had better be 27 damn dresses prominently featured in this film! If it turns out to be just another stupid romantic comedy I'm going to be pissed!

Other Eric: "James Marsden is in it!"

Oh, yeah, I forgot Other Eric's boyfriend is in the movie.

Other Eric: "He's so talented!"

Yeah, yeah, I know.

We start the episode with Rami telling us he is confident and Victorya telling us she actually misses Elisa:

Victorya: "I never thought I could form an emotional attachment to another human but I think I have. I noticed that she wasn't here this morning; that counts as missing her, right?"

Heidi comes out onto the runway:

Heidi: "Remember the first time you watched Project Runway? Remember how it changed your life forever? I think I can safely say that was the most important day in your life. This challenge is about the second most important day in a person's life: Prom!"

The models come out:

Kevin: "I can't tell if they are midgets or Oompa Loompas."

Sweet P: "Wow, that's even more insulting than 'fairy princesses or transvestites.'"

Seriously. Turns out they are none of those things; they are teen-aged girls and they have to make their prom dresses.

Christian and Victorya: "Ugh; that's even worse."

So, the girls have chosen which designer they would like to make their dress.

Christian's client is a prissy little know-it-all who thinks she is all that and a bag of chips:

Christian: "I will call her Mini-Me."

Victorya gets to know her client:

Victorya: "So, why did you pick me?"

Client: "Well . . . how can I put this gently? . . . I got to choose last and you were the only one left . . . because no one else wanted to work with you . . . so that's how I got stuck with you."

Victorya: "OK, I get it."

Client: "By the way, I loved your portfolio."

Victorya: "yeah, right."

We get to see Kevin's and Kit's prom pictures and they are hilarious! Ricky is crying, as usual. But this time he is crying because he loves his mama so much. He tells us how he grew up so poor he had to fashion his own super-fantastic shoes out of the cardboard boxes he found behind WalMart. Oh, wait, maybe that was Manolo the Shoe Blogger.

OK, I sometimes wonder if the designers have ever watched previous seasons of the show. Unless your client is a celebrity and will be judging the clothes, you don't really have to listen to your client. As long as you don't completely piss off your client you will be fine. It is more important that the judges like your garment. Find out your client's likes and dislikes (favorite colors, type of look she's going for) and then create something nice using those ideas. Don't let your client design the clothes! Jeez!

Tim: "I keep telling them that but they don't listen."

Victorya, Sweet P, and Christian all have problems with this:

Victorya: "She told me the exact silhouette she wanted but I'm not comfortable with that."

Sweet P: "She said she wanted the dress cut low enough that her vagina would show."

Christian: "She wants a ticky tacky mess."

Fortunately for Victorya and Sweet P they ignore their clients exacting requests and create something more appropriate:

Victorya: "So I changed the silhouette a little. God, I hope she doesn't hate me."

Was that so hard?

Sweet P: "I decided to make a dress that would make sure my client doesn't ever lose her virginity. Oh, and I went completely wild with the color; she wanted ivory but I went with champagne satin because I thought that looked less like a wedding dress."

Yeah, that won't look anything like a wedding dress. And champagne instead of ivory? Gee, you could have had a little respect for your client's wishes!

Christian loses his shit:

Christian: "Everyone is going to be sorry when I'm dead."

Tim: "Snap out of it, you little freak! Get your ass in gear and fix this piece-of-crap dress! Don't make me slap you!"

The designers get a surprise visit from their clients' moms. Ricky's clients mom is afraid he is flirting with her daughter:

Ricky: "Don't laugh! I've dated a girl before!"

Oh, God; another mental image of Ricky we could all do without.

Chris has to explain to his client's mom that the cool pictures in his portfolio are not, in fact, of famed soprano Deborah Voigt, but, instead, are of him in drag.

Chris's client's mom: "Can you make my daughter look like that, anyway?"

The designers compare sob stories:

Sweet P: "I am always in the bottom, you know?"

Victorya: "I've been in the bottom twice so I totally understand how if feels to be a loser like you."

Chris: "Well, I was voted off so I think I win this game."

Elisa: "I was hit by a Porsche and my neck was broken and my head was split open four inches."

Yeah, that's worse.

On to the runway:

The guest judge is Gilles Mendel. Heidi is wearing a dress cut below the knee; I think I'm going to faint.

The girls are walking like linebackers. Have they ever worn heels before?

Victorya: "I taught them how to walk."

Well, that makes sense.

Sweet P made a pretty, floor-length gown. The fabric was very nice and it looked well-made. I found it a little boring but it was one of the better ones of the challenge and she's in the top two.

Sweet P: "I could really use immunity because you know my garment next week is going to suck."

Victorya made a short blue dress that's really cute. I don't love the beading on the chest but the shape is really nice and it works for the challenge. The judges love it. Victorya wins! Congratulations, Victorya!

Chris made a pretty green dress that was OK. He's safe.

Kevin's model comes out on the runway:

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! What the hell? Why did they replace that cute teenage girl with a middle-aged prostitute? What? That's the same girl?

Wow, that was bad. Everything about his dress is wrong. The red fabric looks cheap; where the hell did the $200 go? It's too short. The cut is boring. His styling choices were completely wrong. Kevin is out.

Jillian made a sea-foam green dress that is fine.

Christian made a brown, poofy dress with beading and black lace. It isn't horrible; in fact, Heidi says she likes it. But it isn't great and it definitely has construction problems.

Nina: "I hated how Christian blamed everything on his client."

We must have missed something in the editing because I didn't think he said anything that bad. He said she wanted even more crap piled on but he toned it down. That's fine. He must have said more than that to upset Nina so much.

Kit made a blue dress that is fine.

Ricky made a short, flesh-toned dress. I thought it was kind of cute. I understand the complaints about the color being a little dull with her skin tone and the construction wasn't great but I actually liked the shape and thought it was interesting and nice for a prom dress.

Rami made a green dress that was totally inappropriate for the challenge. The shade of green, the length, and the style was all too mature for a 17-year old:

Rami: "Sophisticated is what I do."

Nina: "Well maybe Project Runway isn't the right show for you. Maybe you should try out for the 'I'm Rami and I Get To Do Whatever I Want' show."