Project Runway Lucky Season Sleven, Episode Sleven!

Once again, the title of my post is just a pointless reference to a movie I know nothing about. You're welcome.

Tim: "This is the first time in Project Runway history that the season number and the episode number are the same!"

Nope. There's one of these in every season.

Tim: "Well, it's the first time this season!"

That's true.

So, last week we all watched the Olympics and were reminded that every famous person in the United States is actually from Canada. The week BEFORE that, Janeane was finally put out of our misery and sent home.

In model news, Cerry informs us that she is not a child lover, to which I can only say ... um ... good?

Cerry: "I was acquitted."

Meanwhile, Megan is out but she thinks that because she and Heidi started modeling at the same age, she can expect to have Heidi's career:

The Late Senator Lloyd Millard Bentsen, Jr.: "Megan, I served with Heidi Klum. I knew Heidi Klum. Heidi Klum was a friend of mine. Megan, you are no Heidi Klum."

And that's how Hillary Clinton almost became President of the United States. Or something like that. Anyway, back to Megan:

Megan: "I really got along so well with my little girl model. We have so much in common. We both love ponies and the color pink and we're both majorly addicted to black tar heroin."

We start this episode with the designers telling us they are the top ten, which means there are only zero challenges left before ALL of them will go to Bryant Park. You do the math.

Mila: "It's really empowering to know that Maya, Amy, and I are the strongest women here."

You're the only women there.

Mila: "Bummer."

Seth Aaron has immunity so we won't see much of him this episode. Jay, however, tells us his life story so he's either going to win or be sent home:

Jay: "My life has been so hard! I went to a community college in Hawaii! COMMUNITY COLLEGE, PEOPLE!"

Look, I went to a community college in Hawaii for a semester. It's hardly a tragedy.

The designers go on a field trip:

Tim: "This episode will have a lot of banging. Speaking of something that's seen a lot of banging, let me introduce you to a familiar face."

Michael Kors: "Thank you, Tim. Designers, I want you to push the envelope, think outside the box, go the extra mile, do the unexpected, and be all that you can be. Now, get out of my store."

The designers go to the world's most expensive hardware store, where $150 won't even buy you enough washers to cover an eight-foot-tall woman.

Amy couldn't be more excited. However, she could sound a little more excited. In fact, any emotion at all would be an improvement.

Emilio doesn't like this challenge because he's such a great designer and he doesn't do crafty things:

Emilio: "In other words, I'm a total pain in the ass."

The designers get to work. Jesse wants someone to crash a burn:

Jesse: "But not in a mean way."

Of course. Jesse wants someone to crash and burn in a nice way. Anthony thinks everybody's garment looks tortured. Jonathan says his dress is Veronica Lake meets C3PO, which was actually in the original script of Phantom Menace but had to be cut to allow for more scenes of Jar Jar Binks. Seth Aaron tells Emilio that his garment is interesting:

Emilio: "Whatever. I'm a little busy over here being a great designer and an even greater pain in the ass."

Tim gives his last words of advice:

Tim: "Whatever you do, don't use the goddamn Bluefly wall."

On to the runway, where we have two guest judges, for some reason: fashion designer Isabel Toledo, and jewelry designer Stephen Webster. Keep in mind the criteria for judging this week are innovation, creativity, and point of view. You'll be quizzed on that later.

Mila - She made a striking black and white dress out of pieces of plastic. It used materials creatively and was all about her point of view. She is deservedly in the top three.

Jesse - He made a silver bubble dress that the judges likened to a big Hershey's kiss or a dirty vacuum bag. It was not attractive or very creative. But, worst of all, it showed no point of view.

Jonathan - He made a copper dress that managed to move well. It wasn't amazing but it was kind of pretty and he's safe.

Anthony - He made a purple mini-dress covered in mesh. The judges thought he played it safe. Michael thought it looked like a cheap prom dress. In my opinion "cheap prom dress" thoroughly describes Anthony's point of view. So I think he hit this one out of the park.

Ben - He made a shapeless, stiff, completely unwearable copper dress. In concept and execution, I thought it was just as bad as Jesse's. However, the shape did manage to show Ben's point of view so he's safe.

Emilio - He made a bikini out of washers. I would have given him points for creativity if it weren't for the fact that this is the EXACT SAME CRAPPY GARMENT WENDY PEPPER MADE out of Life Savers in the first season.

Jay - He made a fantastic pair of pants and belt out of trash bags. He's not out, so I guess that means he's going to win.

Seth Aaron - Homemade lady-robot Halloween costume. Another one that's almost as bad as Jesse's but has a little Seth Aaron personality so he's safe.

Amy - She made a pretty sandpaper dress.

Maya - She made a cool silver sheath dress under a net jacket with a huge collar. She also made a beautiful necklace out of keys. If we had gotten her life story this week instead of Jay's, I would have picked her as the winner.

Emilio could hear people's jaws drop when his awful Wendy Pepper rip-off went down the runway:

Emilio: "I don't know if it's because they thought it was amazing or because they are wondering what the hell just happened."

Let me clear it up for you: the second one.

Jay wins! Congratulations, Jay!

Mila accepts her silver medal and then posts on her website that it's actually platinum.

Jesse is out. Sorry, Jesse. You did some good work, but your lack of a point of view did you in this week.

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