Blogging Top Chef: why the hell not.

OK, time to start my Top Chef blog.

"Try not to sound too excited, Eric."

Well, it's just a little hard because we don't really know the participants yet. And there are so many of them! So many that Bravo didn't even bother introducing all of them. We seemed to only get the little profiles for about half of them. Maybe I'm wrong, but we were watching and going, "hey, who's that?" I'll try to describe the few I can remember:

So there's a really annoying young guy who thinks he's really hot shit named Stephen ... oh, I mean Marcel. Everyone instantly hates him and wants him off the show. He'll tell you it's because he's so talented but it's really just because he's a jackass.

Suyai is just like Cynthia from season one: sweet and funny and self-deprecating and ... a complete disaster in the kitchen! Buh-bye.

Marisa has a great ass. Apparently she thinks this is going to help her win on a cooking show. Whatever distracts me from her face. Kidding!

OK, there's a new host. I don't know what was wrong with the old host but whatever. At least Tom is still there. Complaining about everything. That's why we love him.

First of all, did I stay up and watch the premier of season two at eleven o'clock?

Bitch, please! I'm not watching television until midnight!

On to the Tivo'd episode:

For the quickfire challenge the chefs get to set things on fire. Elia screws up and tries burning grape juice. Even I knew that wouldn't work. Harold is wearing flip-flops in the kitchen. I realize he isn't cooking but that still seems strange to me.

So, for the elimination challenge the contestants are divided into two groups according to race: the black team and the ... orange team ... oh, sorry it's not race; it's just the color on the knives. OK, good; I thought I was watching Survivor for a second.

One group has to make something with processed American cheese and the other group has to make something with frogs legs. Tom complains that everyone is frying the frogs legs like chicken. Seriously, why didn't anyone think of making a desert?

The winner is Ilan. Mia of the Sunday-dinner-at-grandma's thought she was going to win. Girlfriend is not happy.

Suyai has to pack up her knives and go.

Tune in next week when all the chefs threaten to kill each other. Doesn't that look like fun? I didn't think so either. It's enough drama to really make me not want to watch. But I will. And hopefully I'll have something more interesting to say once I start caring about some of these people.