Shear Genius. Season Two. Episode Five: Beach Blanket Bobs.

Other-Eric back again.  Let me get the obligatory promise out of the way...Eric Three Thousand will be back soon.  I just spoke with him and he misses you all and cannot wait to come back.  He is having a nice visit with family and had good things to say about 'Mamma Mia' with a terrible footnote about Pierce Brosnan.

On to the show...

First off, as my own personal side note...I LOVE Jaclyn Smith.  She is just so terrific.  I've also seen her at the mall.  I know. It's pretty fantastic.

We join our stylists just as we did the designers on Project Runway last night; the sun is rising and Nicole is missing her roommate.  She comes across a bucket of flip-flops and takes a pair.

Eric Three Thousand: Those are slippers.

On the mainland we call them flip flops. (Did you know E3K grew up in Hawaii?)

Each of the designers takes a pair of slip flops (coining new Eric phrases folks) while Nicole continues on about missing her roommate.

Nicole: I feel bad.  No I don't.  Yes I do.  Ok, no I don't.

Jaclyn greets the stylists at the salon on the beach.

Charlie:  It's so much fun to be out of the salon in the sun, sand and surf.

He must be saying this later in the day as there is no sun.

The guest judge is Oscar Blandi.  I've heard of him.   They introduce the challenge which is to take surfers fresh from the ocean and getting them ready for a night on the town without the opportunity to wash the hair.

Everyone goes crazy as a crop of shirtless men come up out of the water.  I bet they weren't even surfing.  I bet they're just models.  I know I'm jaded.

Nicole: I was just praying that I got a good model and I did.

He may be a good model but judging from the top of his rolled wet-suit in relation to his butt, I'm thinking he may also be a plumber.  Or maybe an electrician. 

OMG!  The picture just froze.  It went wonky for a few minutes and came back just as the stylists were finishing their looks.  What happened?  I guess it doesn't matter because here comes the results of the challenge.

Crazy.  Even though I recorded the show last night, I'm watching the commercials live while snacking on a box of Fruity Pebbles and the picture is continuing to get all weird.  I hope it doesn't happen throughout the show. Incidentally, it's hard to eat Fruity Pebbles by hand; they're very small.

Anyway, we're back for the results.  I'm not impressed.  It's also hard to say because it keeps skipping and chunks keep disappearing; very challenging to watch and a little annoying.   The bottom two are Daniel and Glenn, who is the last last.  The top stylists are Nicole and Dee.  I like Nicole's the best.  Ooh and she's the winner! She will also have a big advantage in the elimination challenge.

Rene (Hi, Hi) greets the stylists with the new challenge.   A group of models walks in.   On Rene's cue, they pull of their hair to reveal their bald heads.  As we cut to commercial we hear gasps and shrieks from our stylists.  It's like they've never seen a head without hair before.

Daddy Warbucks:  I don't understand what the big deal is.

Mr. Clean: Yeah.

Bald Chick from Star Trek The Motion Picture: I concur.

We learn that our models have and are living with alopecia.  This auto-immune disorder keeps them from growing hair.

Rene: Nicole, yawy geyat to pwack youah modwel fwoost and den wish styawist geyats to pwack afdah yew.

Big deal Rene; that's the advantage they always get.

Paulo: Sob!

Rene: Whayas youah pwoblem?

Paulo: It's just so brave and courageous.

Rene: Yew goat dat wyaghat?

Excuse me. (PS: I know making fun of Rene's accent is easy but really, what's up with that?! Oh, and while we're at it, what's with the posture and the hands on the hips thing?!)

The models will each have a brand-new wig styled for them which is good so that their regular hair is not ruined.

I don't how to be funny about this episode.  I've been sucked in.  I feel bad for Nicole and her emotional response sucked me in to a point where I was just completely watching.  Even her model is moved by Nicole's movement.

Let's see what happens during the results show.

Daniel's model looks like a helmet.  Glenn's cut looks OK but the wig has WAY too much hair.  Charlie's looks like a wig.  Mary's REALLY looks like a wig.  Nekisa's is fine.  Paulo's is OK but the look is somewhat mature looking for her model.  I don't think Nicole's looks that bad; the front is great. Dee's looks fine.  None of them disgust me.  I forgot Gail's.  Not good; really wiggy.

Glenn, Dee and Daniel are all safe.

Nekisa's cut wasn't loved.  Paulo gets good marks.  Charlie gets the helmet comment I made for Daniel.  Gail is not loved and called out for aging her client.  It totally looks like a wig.

I feel bad for Nicole.   It looked like the designers were laughing at her but Paulo was actually crying at the joy of Nicole's client.

Jaclyn's hair looks amazing.

Huh, they liked Nicole's.  I'm really glad about that.  The front looked really great on her model.  The wig was just REALLY thick.

Paulo wins and dry-humps the air in excitement.

Charlie: Thank God he finally won but it serves him right for winning when immunity no longer is an option.

Charlie's bugging me.  Can you say holier than though?

The bottom three is Nekisa, Gail and Charlie.

Charlie: I totally knew that mine was shit.

Luckily for him the tribe has spoken and Gail is fired.  No final rose for her.

NEXT WEEK - CHARLIE'S ANGELS CHALLENGE!!!!!!!