Project Runway, Season Seven, Episode Ten: The fabric of our lives!

Vivienne Tam: "I'm Vivienne Tam, and Windows 7 was my idea."

Whatever. Previously on Project Runway, Seth Aaron and Emilio won and we lost Amy:

Jonathan: "I can't believe we lost Amy! I did everything medically possible to save her. Oh, the humanity!"

Calm down, Jonathan. I'm sure she's in a better place. In model news, the models had a rare opportunity to experiment with make-up and get drunk and then Holly was sent home.

We start this episode with Anthony telling us he's going home this week. Well . . . not in so many words, but you get the idea. The designers go to the work room and Tim tells them about this week's challenge:

Tim: "Designers, you've all dreamed about creating your own textile. Well, keep dreaming, because you certainly aren't going to get a chance to do that here. Instead, you will have the opportunity to create a design that will be printed onto a horrible, stiff cotton twill that is really more appropriate for drapes or upholstery than for clothing. Vivienne Tam is here to sell you a computer."

Vivienne Tam: "A while back, I was taking a shower in a cab outside a cafe and I thought, You know, computers should be more personal! So I called HP and now I can make butterfly fabric! It was my idea!"

OK, so the printing technology could be the same, but Vivienne doesn't just print out her designs onto any random fabric; I'm sure she actually selects fabrics that will work with the print and the clothes she's making. And even then, printing a picture onto fabric isn't the same as creating a textile. Don't get me wrong; it's a fun challenge. I just don't think it's quite what every designer spends his or her career dreaming about. And really, why that awful cotton fabric?

Tim: "It's the fabric of our lives."

Of course. So, the designers start making their garments using paper printouts that are perfect substitutes for the awful fabric they'll be getting the next day. Anthony entertains the other designers with sad stories about his life:

Anthony: "So I was on Oprah talking about how my mother coughs in church and of course I was totally overshadowed by Beyonce, who was talking about how she lost her job and then Oprah starts giving away cars, and I'm all, Hey, my uncle is addicted to porn!"

Jay: "I just love Anthony and his funny stories! Too bad he's going home."

Mila: "Yeah, Anthony always makes me laugh. I'm really going to miss him when he's sent home this week."

Anthony: "Everyone always laughs, even when I'm telling sad stories. I don't understand."

I can totally relate. I tell a tragic story about my house being destroyed and everybody thinks it's hilarious. What is wrong with people?

Oh, wait! Seth Aaron is on the phone talking to his wife! NOOOOOOO! Hang up that phone! OK, he wasn't crying too much so maybe it's a false alarm. That was a close one!

Tim: "Designers, please use the Bluefly wall sarcastically."

Before we start the runway, let's try to guess which garment will be referred to as a disco straightjacket!

Heidi introduces the judges. She's dressed in a shiny chainmail top:

Michael: "It's like a disco straightjacket!"

Sorry, no. Wrong garment.

Seth Aaron - He made another hot look. It's the same silhouette he makes every week, but it looks good. His print was a little drawing inset in a windowpane pattern.

Jonathan - He made a dress with a little jacket. The dress is pretty. The fabric pattern is almost cute close up, but from a few feet away all you can see is little polka dots, which is kind of boring. The jacket is a weird color and has a stupid gold collar but I don't have any problem with the fact that it closes at the back:

Michael: "It's like a disco straightjacket."

Yes, that's it! Congratulations, Michael!

Maya - She made a little dress. I love the orange and black print! However, I hate the dress. The black, fluffy panel all the way down the front is kind of gross. It looks furry.

Emilio - He made a simple little dress with a cool black jacket. His print is pretty great. He used his initials and Seth Aaron's initials with a little heart! That's so sweet! No, seriously, it's a Keith Haring-inspired print incorporating his name, which was appropriate for this challenge.

Mila - She made a mind-blowingly awful maxi dress that doesn't allow any room for moving your legs, making it impossible to participate in certain activities, such as walking. Brandise somehow gets blamed for not being able to walk in this. But it was like a hobble skirt:

Michael: "It's like a disco straightjacket."

No, Michael. You can stop that now.

Anthony - He made another simple black dress with some decoration stuck on it. It didn't look well made, it didn't feature his print very well, and his print was boring.

Jay - He made a pretty hideous outfit in black and neon green. His print was so unimaginative.

The judges tell Jay his outfit looks like a gay Christmas ornament so he leaves to change his pants. Emilio, Seth Aaron, and Maya are the top three. Mila, Anthony, and Jonathan are the bottom three. Michael makes Jonathan cry by saying his print looks like a dirty tablecloth. Nina says the outfit makes her sad:

Jonathan: "But isn't sadness an emotion?"

Michael: "You're right, Jonathan. Sadness is an emotion. You win. Your outfit is fantastic."

Oh, my god. Who wants to wear a sad outfit? I didn't hate his look this week but I really wanted to see him go home after that judging session.

Emilio wins! Congratulations, Emilio!

Michael: "I want that dress in every color!"

Anthony is out. Sorry Anthony. We'll miss you.

Anthony: "I may not have a crown, but if America has learned anything this season, it's that I'm a huge queen."