Project Runway Season Eleven, Episode Five: Smashville!

Previously on Smashville: The reigning queen of country music, Rayna Jaymes, and the bubble-gum pop princess Juliette Barnes were competing to play the role of Marilyn Monroe in a new Broadway Musical being produced by Morticia Addams. Rayna’s incompetent loser of a husband ran for mayor of Smashville and got really jealous about Rayna’s relationship with her ex, Deacon, who is playing Joe DiMaggio in the show.

Meanwhile, Juliette stole a lipstick and is reduced to being in the chorus of Heaven on Earth. She wants to be taken seriously as an artist so, even though she’s sleeping with the director, she marries a football player and then takes a bottle of pills. Her mother, Bernadette Peters, is a junkie who was never able to show her love, but is trying to make up for it now by seeing her perform and then going into rehab. 

Tim: “I’m sure last week’s cliffhanger was so suspenseful you were hardly able to sleep! Unfinished business? What could it mean? Will someone be discovered at the Bluebird? Will the director be involved in a sex scandal? Will Morticia throw a drink in someone’s face? Well, it’s even more dramatic than any of those things! Heidi’s bringing out the black velvet button bag! For this episode of Smashville everyone will be paired up. Rayna and Juliette will have to team up and go on tour together!”

Rayna Jaymes: “I built this label! How dare you treat me this way! There is no way I’m pairing up with that talentless pop star! What’s that you say? It will get me away from my worthless husband for a few months? Fine, you talked me into it.”

Julette Barnes: “It’s so unfair! Why doesn’t anyone surreptitiously film me when I’m NOT stealing things?! Well, there is no way I’m sharing a sewing machine with that washed up old hag! What’s that you say? I can eat hummus on my private jet? Fine, you talked me into it.”

Great, so the designers are paired up to make looks for Rayna and Juliette to wear for the touring production of Bombshell. The looks should be a little bit country and a little bit Broadway. One look should be sexy and flashy and the other look should be more sophisticated and glamorous.

Richard and Stanley are working together as waiters at the legendary Bluebird Cafe. Stanley is shy and writes poetry in his spare time. Richard plays the guitar and has pined for Stanley from the first time he saw him. If only Stanley didn’t have that jerk of a boyfriend who treats him like crap. Well, Richard decides that since he writes music and Stanley writes poetry, maybe he could use songwriting as a pretext for spending more time together:

Richard: “I knew immediately I wanted Stanley! I didn’t even have to think about it! Stanley is EVERYTHING!”

They make beautiful music together and Richard wins the challenge with his cute fringe dress that would be perfect for Juliette. The judges catch their performance at the Bluebird and Heidi signs them up for her label:

Heidi: “You two will be the next Rayna and Deacon!”

High praise indeed!

Amanda and Benjamin are writing partners who have been going through a dry spell. Their previous Broadway work, Heaven on Earth, was panned by the judges, so they are really trying hard to make it back to the top. Finally, they create a hit! The judges love Amanda’s fun and flirty fringed jersey dress for Juliette and they also love Benjamin’s boring but flawlessly constructed gown for Rayna. 

Benjamin: “I was worried because Amanda’s team thew her under the bus. I’m not saying she didn’t deserve it. Her stupid plan to adopt a baby to save her marriage was just painful and cheating on her husband caused her son to get arrested for doing drugs. But I’m still glad I was able to push her to be more adventurous and now her boring husband and son are off the show. All’s well that ends well.”

Michelle is the badass Broadway producer who is having trouble financing the show because her ex-husband has tied up all their assets in the divorce proceedings. She loves the 80s and really severe bangs. Matthew is Katherine McPhee’s hot boyfriend who works for a politician and has to choose between staying in Smashville and following his career to Washington D.C.

Michelle: “I’m really worried about Matthew because basically our characters have absolutely nothing to do with each other. I don’t think we’ve even met. I have no idea how we are supposed to team up and work together. This just sounds like a bad idea.”

And it is. I actually liked Michelle’s look. I even liked the crazy leather fringe necklace, though I agree that it pushed the look over the edge and probably should have been edited out. And maybe the denim gown looked worse in person, because I thought it looked kind of cool on television. It was so soft and flowing that I didn’t even think it read as denim. And I was watching in HD. Anyway, the judges hated it. 

But the real problem, of course, was Matthew. He just had no confidence. He was worried that Katherine McPhee was having an affair with the director and then he accidentally slept with Megan Hilty and left a diamond ring in her hotel room. And despite that one fabulous Bollywood number, he just never resonated with the judges. So he’s been sent to take an important political job in D.C. and he’s off the show. Sorry, Matthew!

It was a close call for Daniel, who is so accustomed to being praised by the critics, he just lost any ability to judge his own work. Nina really ripped him a new one. He’s still on the show but he’s probably going to have a slightly different role from now on.

Nina shows Daniel what she thinks of his dress