The Fashion Show Season Two Episode Eight: Accessories to the crime!

The designers meet Iman at some cool vintage fashion shop, where Simon Doonan passes out quirky accessories that will inspire looks for this week's collections:

Simon Doonan: "Without eccentricity, fashion is just clothing."

Iman: "And without clothing, eccentricity is just nakedness."

Wow. That is so deep. You are totally blowing my mind.

We return to the completely pointless fashion-house premise, with Cesar and Jeffrey making a four-look "collection" for House of Emerald, and Dominique, Calvin, and Eduardo creating a six-look collection for House of Nami. I'm sorry, but four looks just really doesn't make a collection:

Isaac: "It does if you make them all one color!"

Oh, right. I forgot. If dresses are all the same color, then they magically become a collection.

Isaac: "Well, you know the old saying: if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, then it's probably Penelope Cruz!"

That is not ... oh, forget it.

Not much drama this week. Calvin was so awful during the last challenge that the producers had to give him the requisite "humanizing" treatment this week. But I don't think anything could humanize him:

Calvin: "My partner is dying."

Shit. They did it. How am I supposed to call him a big old bitch after he tells us that?

Calvin: "Also, I plan to give every cent of my hypothetical winnings to charity."

That would be very generous if he had any chance of winning, which he doesn't.

First up is House of Nami. I think they messed up with the styling. If they had styled the models in a more consistent way, it could have made the collection look a little more cohesive.

Dominique was the only designer who met the challenge this week. She created two eccentric designs inspired by the accessories she was given. So, obviously, she's up for elimination. She made a pig coat, which was cute, but not nearly as fascinating as she found it. She really loves saying "pig coat":

Dominique: "Pig coat! I'm in love with my pig coat! Have you ever heard such beautiful words? Say it loud and there's music playing! Say it soft and it's almost like praying."

Yeah, great. Anyway, her other look was pure genius. I loved the idea of attaching the bustle at the shoulder. She really was inspired by her accessory to create an eccentric, avant-garde silhouette. The geisha makeup was a mistake.

None of the other designers did anything interesting with their accessories. They just made pretty but fairly ordinary dresses and stuck their accessories on them.

Eduardo had a big hat and a silver belt and he stuck them on a couple of decent black outfits. Calvin had gloves and a ruff, which he could have done something really interesting with, but didn't.

Eduardo is out. I'm surprised but I don't mind. I was as sick of his ruffled dresses as the judges were. Calvin is safe. Isn't it fortunate the producers humanized him just in time for that decision?

House of Emerald wins the challenge because they used the same fabric for all four dresses. Yawn.

Cesar made two nice ivory dresses. The only eccentric thing was an exaggerated shoulder. His bird headpiece and flower pin were used as they were originally intended and didn't seem to inspire anything. He wanted to use some color, but both Isaac and Jeffrey talked him out of it.

Jeffrey's accessories were cool merry-go-round earrings and a Dior feather capelet. I hated the dress with the capelet because it was so bland it almost disappeared. He wanted to create looks that blended into the background so that the accessories would be featured. But that really wasn't the point of the challenge. His dress for the earrings was better; in fact, it was beautiful. But it was no more eccentric than the other one. Jeffrey wins, which I don't mind too much because he should have won last week instead of Dominique.

Iman: "Eduardo, it must be so hard to be eliminated this close to the finale. I don't really know what it's like to be a loser, but I would imagine it sucks. Oh, and Dominique, if you say 'pig coat' one more time, I'm going to punch you in the nuts."