Project Runway Recap: Season One, Episode 3: Bananarama!

First, the weekly explanation: the fabulously glamorous boys at Project Rungay are blogging season one on DVD so I've decided to do recaps.

OK, on to the Banana Republic challenge! I am so out of it I really wasn't sure who was going to win this one so it was still exciting for me. I knew Wendy won a Banana challenge but I was really wondering, "is there another one in this season?" because I also thought Jay had won with his Chrysler Building dress. I also had no idea who lost.

We start the episode with Starr questioning whether she should be a lawyer or a designer. She seems to be the only person who doesn't know the answer to this question.

Robert informs us that he was a Russian mail-order bride.

The designers are to make a winter party dress for a Banana Republic clientele and the winner will have their dress sold in the stores!

Banana Republic Lady: "After spending thirty seconds with you guys I am confident you will design something worthy of going into our stores!"

That explains a lot.

Tim Gunn: "It is more likely that you all would be struck by lightning than have your dress sold at Banana Republic. I just hope you realize how lucky you are, you ungrateful little shits."

They are given access to the Banana fabrics! OMG, they are so beautiful! Really; much nicer than anything I've ever actually seen in a Banana Republic! The tulip-colored yellows and pinks do not exactly scream "winter" to me but I love them anyway! Out of all these lovely fabrics, Austin is somehow able to find one hideous chintz. How does he do it? Amazing!

They are designing a party dress for a sexy secretary, or something like that.

Jay: "They want a shitty Banana Republic dress? I'll give them a shitty Banana Republic dress!"

That's the spirit, Jay!

The designers are having fun and playing around the design room. Jay and Robert are pretending to fight over the iron. Wendy and Kevin are seeming older by the minute and are completely annoyed by these crazy kids (Wendy always appears to be doing needlepoint, for some reason):

Wendy: "Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye."

Kevin: "Yeah; or someone leaks rust on his dress."

Alexandra says something.

Who?

That's exactly what I asked.

After Kevin announces to Starr that black is the new black, Robert decides to get everyone drunk, thinking this will give him an advantage the next day. Unfortunately, he ends up being the only one with a dress that looks like it was made by someone with a hangover.

Austin skips the drinking and curls up with a good pair of socks. I'm starting the rumor that he only wears a pair of socks once and then throws them out. He's so eccentric!

Kara gives Wendy a makeover:

Wendy: "Kara said I should look in a mirror when I put on my makeup! I had never thought of that! I look so pretty now I've decided to start concentrating on designing and stop worrying about screwing with people! This should last about five minutes."

On the runway, I completely change my mind about Austin's fabric choice. I love his dress and would totally buy it if I had better legs. It does not look like a winter party dress but it is adorable anyway. And his model? Fantastic.

Nina: "You're telling me the crinoline is not attached to the dress? I think I'm going to lose my mind."

Jay's dress is amazing but, of course, he doesn't win.

Banana Republic Lady: "Wendy, congratulations; yours is the only dress boring enough to sell at Banana Republic!"

Wendy: "Oh My God, thank you!"

Robert's dress is really a hot mess but it is not nearly as bad as Starr's creation, which hurts just to think about.

Heidi: "Starr, even though we've seen absolutely no evidence of it, we all know you are very talented and we wish you luck!"