Television: the other white meat!

So we Tivo'd the Superbowl because we had to attend this funeral for some guy named Matt (or was it Mike?) who apparently worked at the bar where we hang out but we made a pact that we wouldn't find out who won the game so that we could watch it and be surprised; and boy, was that difficult because some little kid extorted money out of me to keep him from telling me who won and one of our friends is a newscaster and she had to keep the sports announcer from giving the score on the news; I even managed to pick up chicken wings without finding out because I was wearing dark glasses and earphones. All the effort was worth it!

OK, so what really happened is we Tivo'd the game so that we could fast-forward through it and watch the commercials; a long-standing tradition of two years and about the gayest thing in the world. But they just don't make Superbowl commercials like they used to. Eric had seen some of them while I was in the kitchen:

Eric: "None of the commercials were funny."

Me: "I heard you laugh once."

Eric: "Really?"

Me: "Yeah. Let me guess: someone got hit in the face."

Eric: "Oh yeah; there was one where someone got hit in the face."

How good am I? I could tell from his laugh that someone had been hit in the face. You can never go wrong with hitting someone in the face. Pure comedy gold. Basically I think all commercials should feature someone getting hit in the face. I know some people will argue that a baseball bat to the nuts is much funnier but I think that's just a little juvenile, don't you? No, you definitely have to go with someone getting hit in the face. Whether it's with a rock or a cell phone, it can't fail.

But, no, the commercial with the guy getting a rock to the face was not my favorite. That honor has to go to the one where everyone slaps the shit out each other because it's the new fist-butt (which was the new high-five?). It's basically someone getting hit in the face but with a little twist. I though it was a very Barney (from How I Met Your Mother) thing to do; to just decide to invent a new social greeting.

The Coke commercial with the video game where the guy is nice to everyone instead of killing everyone was kind of cute. Other than that, they were pretty boring. Where's the commercial with dancers dressed as burger-components piling on top of each other to form a Whopper? Well, those days are gone, my friend.

Oh, so some of you may have read on Other Eric's blog that he got a new laptop so now we can blog right from the living room while we're watching television. Great; we've discovered another way to keep from ever having to speak to each other. OK, it's not that bad but we do watch too much television. Personally, I don't type (or even think) fast enough to actually blog while I'm watching television but if he wants to try it that's great.

Studio 60 is dead to me. I tried so hard. I really did. We even went to counseling but we just couldn't work things out. It's so preachy I just can't deal with it anymore. I gave it every opportunity to make me happy. I remember back to the good old days when I first fell in love. It went by the name "The West Wing" back then. It was just as preachy and didactic and it took itself way too seriously, but somehow I was able to forgive these flaws. Probably because the show was about running the country and not about making a goddamn painfully unfunny television show. I'll move on.

One final television note: the boys at Project Rungay (http://www.projectrungay.blogspot.com) are blogging season two of Project Runway starting tomorrow! So get those DVDs ready! I'm planning on doing recaps so check back here Friday or Saturday for that.