Project Runway Season Eleven Finale: Lone Wolf!

world's worst photoshopping

This season's finale is just the age-old story of a fashion designer trying to come to terms with the fact that she is a werewolf:

Michelle: "Oh, my god, this season was a nightmare! First, the team I was on, the Beavers, kept losing. We were terrible!"

Michelle's faceplant that almost cost her the championship

Michelle: "I was so tired of being ordinary. Then I started noticing these changes. My fingernails got longer and I felt stronger and more powerful."

The most shocking transformation in Project Runway history

Michelle: "OK, so I wasn't thrilled with the extra facial hair, but I really think I came into my own as a designer. I left my old teammates behind and really took charge. I got separated from my pack, so now I'm a lone wolf. Because I'm a wolf and I'm alone. It's a metaphor."

Is it?

Anyway, before we get to the championship game, lets check in with the other two characters in our story:

Patricia dedicated her beautiful collection to trees:

Nina Garcia: "Ugh! Trees are for hippies. Next!"

Stanley named his collection "Urban Surfing":

Didn't we just have a collection called "Urban Jungle"?

Stanley: "My collection was designed for the elderly woman who goes to work and then enjoys riding around town on the roof of a van."

Tim Gunn: "Stanley, I'm flabbergasted. These are the three rules I live by: never get less than twelve hours of sleep, never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city, and never go near a lady who's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now stick with that and everything else is cream cheese."

Stanley: "Thanks, coach."

Coach Tim

Unfortunately, Stanley is too stubborn to take any of Tim's excellent advice and he ends up with a collection that's dowdy and dull. Stanley helpfully explains that he doesn't like people:

The decal store was out of commas and question marks

So, we watch the championship runway show and Michelle is the obvious winner:

It's a slam dunk

The crowd goes wild! The judges pretend to deliberate. Michael Kors is back and is more sensible than ever:

Guest Judge Michael Kors

Michael Kors: "Yes, it's true: I am also a werewolf."

Michelle: "I can't believe this! Why didn't you tell me?"

Michael Kors: "I was hoping I wouldn't have to. Sometimes it skips a generation. But look, I completely understand what it's like to be a young designer just starting to realize that you are different from the others. I remember my first fashion show: there was a full moon and I noticed hair growing on my hands. Wackadoo!"

That was a beautiful story. Congratulations to Michelle! And thank you to my readers, without whose dedication my blog would go unread.