It was a tough competition, but we finally have a winner. And the title of biggest A-hole in the history of Project Runway goes to . . . (drum roll) . . . Jay Nicolas Sario! Congratulations, Jay! You're a bigger jerk than Jeffrey Sebelia!
Jay: "Yeah, well, at least I'm not ugly, like you."
OK, so the season is over but we have one more recap to get through. We start this final episode with the designers critiquing each other:
Mila: "Seth Aaron should design for Hot Topic and Emilio should design for a boutique in Harlem . . . in 1994."
Tim makes his rounds. Seth Aaron is just showing off at this point:
Seth Aaron: "I have 24 looks."
Tim: "Why would you have 24 looks? What the hell is wrong with you?"
Obviously, Tim, fashion is all about quantity, not quality.
Tim critiques Emilio's collection:
Then Tim announces the huge surprise twist:
Tim: "Use the Bluefly wall thoughtfully."
Ooh, do they have to create one more look using only materials from the Bluefly wall?
Tim: "No, they don't have to make another look."
So what's the twist?
Tim: "There's no twist. That's the twist."
Oh, you're good. I did not see that coming. That's the biggest twist in Project Runway history!
On to model selection, where Emilio basically says he's casting a Benetton commercial. Next, it's time to sell makeup and hair products. Then it's time to freak out that some of the models are missing. And finally, the show starts:
Heidi: "This was a season of Project Runway. And that's because we had designers on it. Say hello to fashion icon Faith Hill."
First up is Willy Wonka:
Willy Wonka: "Thank you. My collection was inspired by the military and my new invention of weaponized chocolate. And, of course, Hot Topic."
1) not really 2) no 3) yes 4) LOVE IT 5) no 6) oh, yes, give it to me 7) yes 8) no 9) yes 10) OH, MY GOD, NO!
Well, other than that last monstrosity, it was a pretty decent collection. There were some really cute pieces.
Mila: "My collection is black and white. Living in perfect harmony. Side by side on the piano keyboard. Oh, just deal with it."
1) fine 2) yeah, ok 3) YES 4) no 5) no 6) no 7) yes 8) no 9) yes 10) yes
I liked most of that collection, but it wasn't very exciting.
Emilio: "Color me bad. Because I'm bad, I'm bad, really, really bad. You know it. And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again who's bad."
1) yes 2) no 3) no 4) no 5) NO 6) no 7) no 8) no 9) no 10) NO
In case it wasn't clear, my overall opinion of that collection would be "no."
But nobody cares what I think. the real question is, what does Raven think?
Raven: "Emilio's collection reminded me of the 90s. God, I miss the 90s. Those were good times."
The judges compete to see who can make the most boring comments. And the winner is . . . (drum roll) . . . Faith Hill! Congratulations, Faith!
Heidi announces the season seven winner:
Heidi: "You made our job today really tough. All three of you made crap collections. But I suppose someone has to win. So it's you, Seth Aaron."
That's not really what she said. Obviously, the judges pretended like they loved all three terrible collections. I'm just kidding. I'm sure the judges genuinely liked those terrible collections. OK, fine, the collections weren't that bad. Anyway, congratulations to Seth Aaron! He deserves it!
Now on to the half hour reunion show with the designers and the models. Twice as many people and half the time. Better than nothing.
Anyway, let's get on with NinaChat, the show where Nina Garcia calls you a big baby:
Emilio: "You said nice things about my collection so I don't understand why didn't I win?"
Nina: "Did you not hear us say nice things about all the collections? Get over it, you big baby!"
Maya: "I left the show because I just didn't think I was ready."
Nina: "What a load of horse shit. Don't be such a baby."
Ping: "It was so hard for me because nobody ever questioned my judgement before."
Nina: "STOP BEING A BIG BABY!"
Well, I could watch this for hours! Unfortunately, that's all there is. The season is over. I want to thank all of you for reading my posts and leaving comments these past few months. It's meant so much to me. Oh, no, look what you made me do. You've gone and made me cry.
Nina: "Oh, stop it, you big baby!"