Friday, April 23, 2010

Project Runway Season Seven, Finale, Part Two: and the winner is . . .

It was a tough competition, but we finally have a winner. And the title of biggest A-hole in the history of Project Runway goes to . . . (drum roll) . . . Jay Nicolas Sario! Congratulations, Jay! You're a bigger jerk than Jeffrey Sebelia!

Jay: "Yeah, well, at least I'm not ugly, like you."

Touche!

OK, so the season is over but we have one more recap to get through. We start this final episode with the designers critiquing each other:

Mila: "Seth Aaron should design for Hot Topic and Emilio should design for a boutique in Harlem . . . in 1994."

Oh, snap!

Tim makes his rounds. Seth Aaron is just showing off at this point:

Seth Aaron: "I have 24 looks."

Tim: "Why would you have 24 looks? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Obviously, Tim, fashion is all about quantity, not quality.

Tim critiques Emilio's collection:

Tim: "Blech."

Then Tim announces the huge surprise twist:

Tim: "Use the Bluefly wall thoughtfully."

Ooh, do they have to create one more look using only materials from the Bluefly wall?

Tim: "No, they don't have to make another look."

So what's the twist?

Tim: "There's no twist. That's the twist."

Oh, you're good. I did not see that coming. That's the biggest twist in Project Runway history!

On to model selection, where Emilio basically says he's casting a Benetton commercial. Next, it's time to sell makeup and hair products. Then it's time to freak out that some of the models are missing. And finally, the show starts:

Heidi: "This was a season of Project Runway. And that's because we had designers on it. Say hello to fashion icon Faith Hill."

First up is Willy Wonka:

Willy Wonka: "Thank you. My collection was inspired by the military and my new invention of weaponized chocolate. And, of course, Hot Topic."

1) not really 2) no 3) yes 4) LOVE IT 5) no 6) oh, yes, give it to me 7) yes 8) no 9) yes 10) OH, MY GOD, NO!

Well, other than that last monstrosity, it was a pretty decent collection. There were some really cute pieces.

Mila: "My collection is black and white. Living in perfect harmony. Side by side on the piano keyboard. Oh, just deal with it."

1) fine 2) yeah, ok 3) YES 4) no 5) no 6) no 7) yes 8) no 9) yes 10) yes

I liked most of that collection, but it wasn't very exciting.

Emilio: "Color me bad. Because I'm bad, I'm bad, really, really bad. You know it. And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again who's bad."

1) yes 2) no 3) no 4) no 5) NO 6) no 7) no 8) no 9) no 10) NO

In case it wasn't clear, my overall opinion of that collection would be "no."

But nobody cares what I think. the real question is, what does Raven think?

Raven: "Emilio's collection reminded me of the 90s. God, I miss the 90s. Those were good times."

The judges compete to see who can make the most boring comments. And the winner is . . . (drum roll) . . . Faith Hill! Congratulations, Faith!

Heidi announces the season seven winner:

Heidi: "You made our job today really tough. All three of you made crap collections. But I suppose someone has to win. So it's you, Seth Aaron."

That's not really what she said. Obviously, the judges pretended like they loved all three terrible collections. I'm just kidding. I'm sure the judges genuinely liked those terrible collections. OK, fine, the collections weren't that bad. Anyway, congratulations to Seth Aaron! He deserves it!

Now on to the half hour reunion show with the designers and the models. Twice as many people and half the time. Better than nothing.

Anyway, let's get on with NinaChat, the show where Nina Garcia calls you a big baby:

Emilio: "You said nice things about my collection so I don't understand why didn't I win?"

Nina: "Did you not hear us say nice things about all the collections? Get over it, you big baby!"

Maya: "I left the show because I just didn't think I was ready."

Nina: "What a load of horse shit. Don't be such a baby."

Ping: "It was so hard for me because nobody ever questioned my judgement before."

Nina: "STOP BEING A BIG BABY!"

Well, I could watch this for hours! Unfortunately, that's all there is. The season is over. I want to thank all of you for reading my posts and leaving comments these past few months. It's meant so much to me. Oh, no, look what you made me do. You've gone and made me cry.

Nina: "Oh, stop it, you big baby!"

11 comments:

emily said...

Yeah, I love country music (I know, I know), I have enjoyed plenty of Faith Hill in my day, but she was a horrible guest judge for the finale. A regular episode, okay, but the finale? Please. She contributed nothing.

Jay totally came out of left field with his toolishness, huh? During the season I thought he was a little catty, but no more than any normal person in that kind of high-pressure situation, surrounded by people I'm sure start to grate after awhile. And then at the reunion, when he's well-rested and not under any stress whatsoever, just BAM. His comments to that poor model were totally, totally uncalled for. What a jackass. I thought he should've won, based on his collection, but watching that reunion show I was thrilled he got cut early and didn't have a chance.

eric3000 said...

I agree. I didn't totally love Jay's collection but it was probably good enough to win. So I'm glad it worked out the way it did.

There are lots of bitchy remarks that you can brush off as being said in the heat of the moment. But his comment was so specific and nasty, it just reached a new level of awfulness that I find unforgivable.

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

OH that was a fun season with you. I am not sure I would have remembered to watch it if it I hadn't been reading your blog. I thought what.. was ..her.. names collection was not even a touch original. I had all the black and white pop stuff in the 60's and well what's new with that? Her clothing always looks stiff with little movement.

Emilio's Bennetton Hah

Yes I agree about Jay. That was ugly.

Thanks for putting up with my random posts and old age loss of memory with everyone's names.

Great season Eric thanks to you.

Cliff O'Neill said...

That really knocked me out. I would wear that in a heartbeat. It really knocked me out.

But enough of Mrs. McGraw ...

DAMN that Jay is a schmuck! I think it's hysterical that (again) we're sharing a brain, having said basically the same thing about that.

I was going to say "since Jeffrey Sebelia," but I think I decided not to get that specific at the last minute.

Hmph. Serves her right for having teeth and legs. And an opinion.

Cliff O'Neill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kittens not kids said...

Jay's nastiness really surprised me. And it gave some extra dimensions to Tim Gunn's remarks that he and Jay had a VERY difficult relationship (I believe Prof. Gunn used the word "bitchy" to describe Jay's behavior).

And Ping - jesus christ! get a grip!

You know, I liked Seth Aaron's collection, for the most part - even the yellow plaid thing, and normally I hate yellow plaid things - but it wasn't a huge WOW. but it WAS more appealing than Mila's or Emilio's, and Seth Aaron himself was so incredibly charming, and so clearly good at AND into what he does, that it was a joy to see him win. This wasn't a collection like Leanne's or even Christian's where you GASP! at some of the garments - but it was absolutely GOOD (and better than the other two finalists'), and Seth Aaron is so damn appealing that it was the right decision.
Whether these three should have been the last crew standing is a whole different question.

this felt like a weird season, to me. I can't quite tell why. Oh well.

great recap, as alwaus.

TLo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kittens not kids said...

"alwaus"???

my god, i'm typing in old-polish-lady dialect. clearly, i've spent too much time in pittsburgh.

ALWAYS.

clever and brilliant recap, as always. and now i shall miss reading your blog until the next season cranks up.

TLo said...

"1) yes 2) no 3) no 4) no 5) NO 6) no 7) no 8) no 9) no 10) NO"

LOL


P.S. We missed you at the finale party.

Eric said...

I thought this was a good season of Project Runway that was hurt by a so-so finale.

lovemesomeseth said...

I was laughing at all the "yes" and "no' stuff because I was picturing that you were saying these things during sex. Is that wrong of me?

It's beeen a pleasure to read your posts and comments again this season, and even moreso because MY GUY WON!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT! Seth Aaron rocks! : )

And not only is Jay a jerk, but an absolute idiot. He could hurt his career with crap comments like he makes. GROW UP already.