Tuesday, December 26, 2023

Recent photo of Allan (professionally, he had to change his name to Alan in 1991 in order to join SAG-AFTRA)

Eric’s Holiday Letter, December 2023

Dear friends and family,

I am pleased to announce that, after months of tense negotiations, Eric’s Holiday Letter LLC has recently reached an agreement with our striking writers and we can finally get back to work producing Eric’s Holiday Letter, Eric’s Holiday Letter On Tape, Eric’s Holiday Letter podcast, Eric’s Holiday Letter Live from Lincoln Center, and Eric’s Holiday Letter On Ice.

Unfortunately, because Eric’s Holiday Letter takes over a year to produce, the release date for the 2023 Holiday Letter has been pushed back to summer 2024. While we wait for that, I’ve asked the A.I. chatbot ChatGPT to write a holiday letter for me. I prompted it to write a holiday letter about the process of writing a holiday letter, to write it in the style of the Barbie Movie, and to make sure to mention buying stamps, because I know everyone looks forward to reading about buying stamps every year.

The bad news is the results are actually kind of cute, which is terrifying. The good news is it is clearly not the real thing and I think we will continue to need real human writers for the foreseeable future. After the foreseeable future, of course, the robots are definitely going to take over and make humans unnecessary, but that’s a problem for another day. So, without further ado (except for a shout-out to Allan, whom Barbie forgets to mention in her list of friends), here is Eric’s Holiday Letter as written by artificial intelligence from the point of view of Barbie (exactly as generated by ChatGPT, with no edits. Really!):

Dear Friends and Family,

Oh, hi there! It's your favorite doll, Barbie! I hope this letter finds you wrapped in joy and surrounded by love this holiday season. Can you believe it's that time of year again? Time to dust off the tinsel, untangle the lights, and, of course, write the annual holiday letter!

Picture this: I'm sitting in my dream house, sipping on a hot cocoa (well, as close to sipping as a doll can get), surrounded by twinkling lights and festive decorations. The holiday spirit is in the air, and I'm feeling all kinds of merry and bright.

Now, let me tell you, writing this letter is quite the adventure! It's a little like planning the perfect Dreamhouse party – it takes creativity, flair, and a touch of sparkle. First things first, I grab my glitter pen – because everything is better with a little sparkle, right? Then, I carefully choose the perfect stationery. It has to be as fabulous as my latest fashion finds!

Next comes the highlight of the letter: recounting the fantastic adventures of the year. From jet-setting to exotic locations (in the Dreamhouse, of course) to fashion shows and charity events, it's been a whirlwind of glamour and excitement. I even convinced Ken to join me for a dance-off – let's just say his moves are a work in progress, but we had a blast!

Oh, and let's not forget about my amazing friends – Skipper, Stacie, Chelsea, and all the others. We've had countless laugh-out-loud moments and unforgettable bonding times. It's all about creating memories that last a lifetime!

But writing a holiday letter isn't just about reliving the glamorous moments. It's also a time to express gratitude and spread love. I take a moment to reflect on the special people in my life – that includes all of you! Your love and support mean the world to me, and I'm truly grateful to have such fantastic friends and family.

Now, here's a little real-world twist to the holiday letter adventure. In order to send this letter on its way to you, I had to venture out into the real world to buy stamps! Yes, even Barbie has to deal with post office lines and decide between cute holiday-themed stamps or classic ones. It's all part of the holiday magic, right?

As I wrap up this letter, I'm sending you all the warmest wishes for a holiday season filled with joy, laughter, and, of course, a touch of sparkle. May your days be as bright as my Dreamhouse on Christmas morning!

With love and holiday cheer,

Barbie 💖