The Fashion Show, Season Two, Episode Three: I'm a Sexy Dracula! (obscure Community reference)
We start the episode with the new teams getting to know each other. Calvin is now on team Nami:
Calvin: "I hate fighting."
But you are always arguing and yelling at everyone.
Calvin: "Oh, is that what fighting means? In that case, I love fighting."
Cesar is now on team Emerald:
Cesar: "People often mistake me for Mother Teresa because of all my charity work in India, but the reality is that I'm a selfish, bossy bitch. Just thought I should get out in front of that story."
Cesar then explains to team Emerald what their problem had been when Calvin was on the team:
Cesar: "Calvin was your crutch. So now that your crutch is gone, you should be able to completely collapse into a pile on the floor."
Well, I didn't say he explained it well.
The designers meet Iman in Brooklyn:
Iman: "Seductive. Alluring. Mysterious. Dangerous. Gorgeous. Powerful. Brilliant. But enough about me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Oh, for heaven's sake, I'll explain the challenge. The designers have to create nightlife looks inspired by the iconic image of the femme fatale. Some examples would be Mata Hari, Barbara Stanwyck, and Jessica Rabbit.
David: "You know what I love best about the femme fatale?"
David: "That's right!"
Team Emerald has a consultation with Isaac:
Isaac: "You already bought the fabric, right? So, it's too late to do anything about that. Fortunately, it isn't too late to make you feel bad about your choices. So let's go with that."
Emerald is going for a 1940s vampire look, with red jersey and black lace. Because that's totally what a 1940s vampire would wear. They are also using blue and green, just to pump up the awfulness.
Team Nami is also going for a 1940s vampire look, with black and purple satin.
Mata Hari: "What am I, chopped liver?"
Cesar can't resist helping his old team:
Cesar: "Look at them over there. They're as helpless as Indian orphans. I have to do something."
He finally gives in and tells Rolando how to shape his skirt. Just like Mother Teresa would have done.
Eduardo gets an extra hour to work on his dress, because he won last week.
On to the fashion show, with guest judge Dita Von Teese. By the way, this was a one-day challenge. And, boy, do the results show it.
First up is House of Emerald:
Tamara made a red pleather jacket over red leggings. I don't love the matchy-ness of the red leggings, but it's not bad. It's sexy and the jacket has a slight 1940s feel to it. But the judges don't think it's right for a femme fatale.
Cindy made a nice dress of red jersey covered in black lace. It's not very exciting, but it's still one of the better looks of the challenge, which is sad.
Golnessa made a awful green dress with a round lace inset in the back that reminds me of the scene in Death Becomes Her when Meryl Streep blows a hole right through Goldie Hawn's torso with a shotgun. Fun movie. Bad look.
Jeffrey made a blue two-piece evening gown with weird cutouts in the top. It just doesn't work. Dita says it looks like something Dracula would wear to the gym, which is pretty funny. Unfortunately, it is both her first and last interesting comment.
Cesar made a blue evening gown with a ridiculous red and blue cape.
Next up is House of Nami. Their show uses old film-reel clips and is pretty cool.
Dominique made a cute short black dress with a jacket.
David made a not very flattering purple satin dress with a black cape.
Eduardo made a beautiful black dress. Calvin has a point when he says it looks like the other two dresses Eduardo has made. But it's still pretty and it's perfect for this challenge.
Rolando made a black dress with a cool inverted ruffle skirt. It's not an original idea, but it's certainly more interesting than most of the dresses we're seeing. Unfortunately, it doesn't make much sense for this challenge.
Calvin made another ridiculous long evening gown.
This was supposed to be a nightlife challenge. To me, that indicates something you could wear to a nightclub. I think every designer who made an evening gown for this challenge should have been immediately eliminated.
Anyway, House of Nami wins again. Eduardo wins the challenge and gets immunity for the next challenge. If he wins a third time, he will become immortal, like Iman.
Isaac: "I know I'm just a superstar fashion designer and huge celebrity so you probably don't care about my opinion, but here's what I think you should do, Eduardo: go crazy next week and don't make us the same damn dress again. Just a thought."
House of Emerald loses again, despite not having Calvin on the team:
Isaac: "House of Emerald, your dresses were not all the same color, so they didn't look like a collection."
Right. Anyway, there is still a way to stick Calvin on the losing team. Eduardo has to choose a member of the winning team to be on the bottom, for no particular reason. Obviously, he picks Calvin because he has to pick someone so why the hell wouldn't he pick Calvin. Last in, first out:
Isaac: "Oh, I'm so disappointed in you, Eduardo, for doing exactly what anyone else would have done in your place."
Whatever. So Calvin joins the others for possible elimination, although he's obviously safe. The real bottom two are Golnessa and Tamara:
Iman: "Tamara, I cringed when I saw your look on the runway. SHOW THE FOOTAGE OF IMAN CRINGING WHEN SHE SAW TAMARA'S LOOK ON THE RUNWAY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE FOOTAGE OF THAT?! A CAMERA SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON IMAN AT ALL TIMES!!!!"
Iman thinks Golnessa's dress looks like something her nine-year-old daughter would make:
Iman: "Iman's nine-year-old daughter has terrible taste! How dare you show this to Iman! Iman doesn't have patience anymore for this ugly dress. SHOW THE FOOTAGE OF IMAN LOSING PATIENCE WITH THIS UGLY DRESS! WHAT?!!! YOU'RE ALL FIRED!!!!"
Tamara is out. That sucks:
Laura Brown: "Tamara, remember last week when we told you to ignore your team and just go with your own vision? Well, this week we're punishing you for ignoring your team and going with your own vision."
Calvin is crying because the only person in the world who actually likes him is being sent home. Iman is confused:
Iman: "Why are you crying, Calvin? Is it because you are sad? Iman has heard that humans sometimes cry when they are sad. Iman finds this fascinating."
Calvin: "Can I go instead of Tamara?"
Iman: "Really? Are you really saying you want to leave the show?"
Calvin: "Well, actually, I didn't think you would take the request seriously."
Isaac: "I think you should stay. I think it's what Tamara would have wanted."
Tamara: "No, it isn't."