Last week someone won and Pleather was sent home for being too creative (that'll teach him). This week we are promised the very first "interactive" challenge! Exciting! I'm assuming it will be similar to the very first interactive televised video game from the early 1980s:
Joanna: "What does that have to do with fashion?"
Well, when you put it that way I can see that it doesn't make much sense. OK, why don't you explain the challenge?
Joanna: "This interactive challenge is sponsored by USA Today, the newspaper for people who don't read so good. I'd like to introduce you to USA Today's Senior VP of Marketing, Sandra Micek. Sandra, tell us about the USA Today philosophy."
Sandra Micek: "Pictures good. Words bad."
Joanna: "Could you elaborate on that, please?"
Sandra Micek: "Some newspapers provide information, but we were like, This is hard. So we invented infographics, which are similar to information, but prettier."
Joanna: "They sure are! I think what Sandra is trying to say is that every picture tells a story. So you are going to be skyping with fans who will tell you their stories and you have to turn their stories into headlines. Also, we have a saying in the publishing industry: Every pair of granny panties is worth a thousand words."
Great. So the designers start interacting with the fans:
Julie from Peoria: "Hi, Laura Kathleen, I'm a farmer and I need a new gown that is fashion forward."
Laura Kathleen: "I'm sorry, Julie, but if you expect me to talk to you like we have the same background, that's just not going to happen."
Julie from Peoria: "Why do we have to have the same background in order to talk to each other."
Laura Kathleen: "I'm tired of being judged by people like you, Julie!"
OK, so that's not going well. Let's check in with the other designers:
Cassanova: "Look! My fan looks just like Emilio! Because he's wearing a hat!"
Anthony Ryan: "My fan is Diane, from New York, which immediately reminded me of surviving cancer."
Emilio: "My fan is an adorable little girl named Sophie Schindler, from Seattle. She loves writing things down and keeping everything organized."
Joanna: "Oh, she's so cute! What's your headline, Emilio?"
Emilio: "Schindler's List."
uh . . . OK, so what happened to Andrae? Well, he finally crashed and burned, unfortunately:
Andrae: "So tell me, Debra from Alabama, why do you look so sad? Are you a tortured soul just trying to get your art out there in the world?"
Debra from Alabama: "No, I'm just bummed that I won't be able to buy Twinkies anymore."
Andrae: "I completely understand where you're coming from. Would a zippered knit top with interchangeable panels help at all?"
Debra from Alabama: "Not really."
Andrae: "Oh, dear. I'm just hoping one of these days I'm going to get through to you, Debra from Alabama."
On to the runway, with guest judge super cool fashion blogger Tavi Gevinson, who is young enough to be my slightly younger sister. She is a dropped-crotch apologist and I love her all the more for it.
Not a good night on the runway, folks. The designers either made the same garment they make every week -- Uli, Laura Kathleen, Ivy, Anthony Ryan -- or they were inspired by a garment to make a similar garment -- Cassanova, Emilio.
Kayne was one of the few exceptions. He made a red dress that was so boring it was almost intriguing. It made me wonder if it would be possible to create a dress that is more boring than the one he made. I don't think it could be done. That's something of an accomplishment. He was inspired by a picture of costume jewelry:
Kayne: "I was drawn to this image because the subject matter is presented in a classical pyramid arrangement reminiscent of Gericault. The colors are very well balanced and pleasing and the emotions are honest. Also, it was shiny."
Uli made another beige cloud dress.
Laura Kathleen created her usual silhouette but her hand-dyed fabric was pretty.
Ivy made an outfit inspired by a butterfly. I kind of liked it, though I'm getting tired of her granny panties.
Cassanova made an ivory suit inspired by an ivory suit.
Althea made what could have been a nice suit, but the color was dull and the crotch was just unflattering.
Joshua's look was fairly horrifying. The top and skirt looked really bad together, but, as Tavi pointed out, they would also not look good with anything else.
Emilio made an almost interesting dress that was an exaggerated version of the dress worn by his fan. I wasn't completely convinced by this dress, but it still probably should have won:
Carolyn Murphy: "I would look like a Chinese lantern in that dress."
Says the woman actually wearing a Chinese lantern.
The winner was Anthony Ryan, with his typical little tight dress, known as "bodycon" dresses to cool fashion bloggers like Tavi and me. He wins an infographic in USA Today.
And our dear sweet Andrae is out. I actually thought Joshua's look was worse, but I understand that the judges were tired of Andrae.
Before we go, Isaac needs to pay the bills:
Isaac: "I don't design MRI machines but I know great design when I see it, and when I was introduced to the all new re-designed 2012 MRI machine from Siemens, everything about it said purposeful design -- sophisticated styling, refined interior, sleek lines -- it's smart in so many ways. And for me when design makes someone's day simpler and easier, it just leads to a more beautiful life."