Saturday, April 27, 2013

Project Runway Season Eleven Finale: Lone Wolf!

world's worst photoshopping
This season's finale is just the age-old story of a fashion designer trying to come to terms with the fact that she is a werewolf:

Michelle: "Oh, my god, this season was a nightmare! First, the team I was on, the Beavers, kept losing. We were terrible!"

Michelle's faceplant that almost cost her the championship
Michelle: "I was so tired of being ordinary. Then I started noticing these changes. My fingernails got longer and I felt stronger and more powerful."

The most shocking transformation in Project Runway history
Michelle: "OK, so I wasn't thrilled with the extra facial hair, but I really think I came into my own as a designer. I left my old teammates behind and really took charge. I got separated from my pack, so now I'm a lone wolf. Because I'm a wolf and I'm alone. It's a metaphor."

Is it?

Anyway, before we get to the championship game, lets check in with the other two characters in our story:

Patricia dedicated her beautiful collection to trees:

Nina Garcia: "Ugh! Trees are for hippies. Next!"

Stanley named his collection "Urban Surfing":

Didn't we just have a collection called "Urban Jungle"?
Stanley: "My collection was designed for the elderly woman who goes to work and then enjoys riding around town on the roof of a van."

Tim Gunn: "Stanley, I'm flabbergasted. These are the three rules I live by: never get less than twelve hours of sleep, never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city, and never go near a lady who's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now stick with that and everything else is cream cheese."

Stanley: "Thanks, coach."

Coach Tim
Unfortunately, Stanley is too stubborn to take any of Tim's excellent advice and he ends up with a collection that's dowdy and dull. Stanley helpfully explains that he doesn't like people:

The decal store was out of commas and question marks
So, we watch the championship runway show and Michelle is the obvious winner:

It's a slam dunk
The crowd goes wild! The judges pretend to deliberate. Michael Kors is back and is more sensible than ever:

Guest Judge Michael Kors
Michael Kors: "Yes, it's true: I am also a werewolf."

Michelle: "I can't believe this! Why didn't you tell me?"

Michael Kors: "I was hoping I wouldn't have to. Sometimes it skips a generation. But look, I completely understand what it's like to be a young designer just starting to realize that you are different from the others. I remember my first fashion show: there was a full moon and I noticed hair growing on my hands. Wackadoo!"

That was a beautiful story. Congratulations to Michelle! And thank you to my readers, without whose dedication my blog would go unread.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for all the laughs over the last three back to f-in' back seasons. Now take a little rest, but I'm counting on you for S12.


eric3000 said...

Thanks, Karen! I am so ready for a break!

Lin said...

I'm already in withdrawal.

pernoctator said...

Thank you Eric! As always, your take put everything back into perspective.

That season wasn't even half bad. My favourite designer won, your recaps were awesome and Nina Garcia deflowered Zac Posen on air. Whatever more could you wish for?

lower_scott_hill said...

fab recap. thanks for the many laughs... (lots of laughs, for real)

Catherine said...

I enjoy this blog as much as I enjoy the show.