Thursday, January 03, 2008

Project Runway Season Four, episode 6: the post-winter break episode!

Oh, my gosh, it's been two weeks and I've completely forgotten what's going on. Who are these people? Let's recap, shall we?

Here are the most important things to know: Christian thinks he is the bee's knees, Elisa is a little kooky, and Kevin has finally come out of the closet and admitted that he is straight:

Kevin: "I can't tell you how hard it was trying to pass myself off as gay just to make it in the fashion industry."

Life must be so hard for heterosexuals. I don't know how they do it.

Kevin: "I know, right? My parents were so excited when I told them I was going to be a fashion designer but then I had to explain to them that I wasn't gay. My father took it pretty hard but my mother was very supportive. She told me that if I liked girls she would just get used to the idea of someday having grandchildren."

Wow, that was such a moving story.

Santino: "Hey, who wants to go back to the Broad Foundation? I have this huge Saturn that seats about twenty. So, come on and bring your jukebox money!"

Did we run out of designers to do these commercials?

Before we get started, did anyone watch that "Make Me a Supermodel" show? Man, Tyson Beckford and Niki Taylor have the combined personality of Ryan Seacrest. There must be an easier way to see hot guys in their underwear. If only there were a way to access pictures of naked people on my computer. Hmm.

So we start the episode with Kevin missing Steven:

Kevin: "How can I go on without him?"

Christian explains why Steven had to go:

Christian: "His dress sucked."

Right. So let's go see what Heidi is up to:

Heidi: "Hello, bitches! I hope you all enjoyed your two weeks off! I had another baby during the break. I've missed you all so much! Let's pick all new models!"

Christian explains why he picks Lee:

Christian: "Lee is like one of the best models and she's really really good and I really think she's an excellent model and I think it's really important to have a good model and I think she's really good so that's why I picked her."

I don't understand.

Sweet P is finally not picked last. She takes this amazing opportunity to pick the worst model. Just kidding; I'm sure Katie is great. I just wish someone would give her a sandwich.

Tim totally freaks out the designers by showing up at their hotel rooms early in the morning:

Kit: "I am totally traumatized. I'm not wearing a bra."

Tim: "I honestly wasn't even looking at her boobs."

Tim takes the designers to the Hershey's store in Times Square. Look, I really don't mind blatant product placement IF IT MAKES SENSE! But this didn't. The designers ended up making clothes out of pillows, which has nothing to do with candy. They could have gone to any store that has pillows. I found this challenge completely pointless.

Obviously the viewers pick this as their favorite challenge. What the hell is wrong with you people?

Hershey Lady: "Welcome to the sweetest place on earth!"

Oh, shut up.

The designers are really excited:

Christian: "Will someone please shoot me?"

Except for Christian.

Jillian decides to actually use candy and I applaud her for it. Sweet P originally tries making a dress out of broken glass and battery acid but then she changes her mind. Too bad.

Chris is used to making clothes out of food:

Chris: "Real food is not practical. That's why I make all my clothing out of fake food."

Christian creates instantaneously, whatever that means:

Christian: "I don't know why the other designers bother thinking about what they are doing! What a waste of time! I know; I'll go around the room and give everyone a little dose of my fierceness! I'm sure they'll appreciate my input!"

Tim doesn't like Sweet P's second dress:

Tim: "It looks like a maxi pad."

Sweet P: "Have you ever seen a maxi pad?"

Tim: "No."

Now for an important announcement from Bravo:

This episode is brought to you by Hershey's

Well, duh.

Ooh, they changed that Levi's commercial to make it gay. That's kind of cool!

Oh, yeah, and Elisa was hit by a car when she was in London making T-shirts.

Elisa: "It wasn't a car; it was a Porsche. And I wasn't 'hit' so much as 'fully impacted' by it."

Oh, sorry. I don't know why we are getting this story now. I think it means Elisa is either going to win this challenge or be sent home.

The guest judge this week is Zac Posen, apparently an expert on candy.

Ricky made a poofy Hershey's skirt and a silver top. Shockingly, it looks really well made and it fits perfectly. It's actually not bad.

Chris used the Hershey's Logo but cut into thin strips so that it looked like an abstract pattern from a distance. It's really nice! Nina says she would put it in Elle. That is an amazing compliment even though the last time she said it she was talking about a hideous outfit by Bradley that looked like a paper bag. Congratulations to Chris for finally getting into the top three!

Kit made a full Hershey's skirt and a cute Kit Kat top. She's safe.

Elisa created a macabre, disturbing Gretel-like figure:

Elisa: "Do you really think so? That's exactly what I was going for!"

No, I don't really think so; I don't even know what that means.

Kevin's looked wearable. The designers were told to make something wearable. And he created something wearable. That's about all I can say about it.

Kevin: "I wanted to make chocolate wrappers look sexy."

Did you use chocolate wrappers?

Kevin: "No."

Christian used the crinkly Reese's Peanut Butter Cup wrappers glued on to a basic dress. It looked OK but, despite his bitching about unwrapping all that candy, it seemed pretty simple and it also seemed like it's been done before:

Other Eric: "I guess peanut butter cup wrappers are this years coffee filters."

Exactly. The judges don't say anything about it so we don't know if they thought it was fine or if he got through because he had immunity.

Sweet P created another boring, poorly-fitted mess. This was rightfully in the bottom two.

Rami created a cute dress with a pleated pink York Peppermint Patty skirt and a red vinyl top. As Michael pointed out, it could have looked ridiculous but it was so well made and perfectly fitted that it looked great! I went back and forth on whether I thought this was the best design: first I loved it; then I re-watched the show and saw that he started with a huge roll of cellophane wrapping paper, which made me less impressed with it; and then I thought about how difficult it would be to pleat it as perfectly as he did and I was back to loving it again. Rami wins! Congratulations, Rami!

Jillian made a skirt and top using Twizzlers and it looked good! Amazingly, nothing fell off on the runway. She was the only one to really work with candy so she gets credit right there; but not only was her project the most challenging but it was also successful! She was a close call for the win.

Jillian: "And, on top of that, my model smells really good!"

Michael: "She looks deliciously chic!"

Really? Deliciously chic? whatever.

Victorya made an ugly ruffled mess. Everyone hated it. Even her model was walking like she was afraid to touch it:

Victorya: "No, I told her to walk like that to distract from the dress."

You know what? That almost worked. I was so puzzled by the walk that I really did almost miss how ugly the dress was. Almost."

Victorya: "I think it's totally wearable."

Michael: "You would not wear this."

Victorya: "I would absolutely wear this."

Michael: "You lying cow."

So, Elisa is out. Michael thinks her model looked like she was wearing a brown velvet dress from a flea market and silver shower caps on her arms:

Elisa: "Yes."

Yes? Well, anyway, sorry to see Elisa go. She seemed very sweet and creative. Too bad I didn't like anything she made.

Elisa: "I'm going to wander off now."

Tim: "Sorry, but you can't just wander off; you have to actually leave the building."


Linda Merrill said...

"You lying cow!" Too funny! I always love your recaps.

I wish they'd auf'd Victorya - her dress was awful. But so was Elisa's. She'd mentioned Gretl - which could have been cute as a tie in to the candy - but there was nothing Gretl-like in the dress. A little mod-dirndl action, or a touch of leiderhosen and puff sleeves could have been really fun. On well.

Anyway, thanks for the giggles Eric!

Ms. Place said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ms. Place said...

Oops, had to delete my comment. Sp misteak, er, never mind!

Great recap.I missed the show, but you helped me to catch up. Love the way you handled the Elisa exit.

Happy New Year, btw. Wishing you and yours a wonderful 2008.

Bittybis said...

The gay remake of the Levi's commercial was the most attention-getting moment of the evening for me. Glad you mentioned it.

TLo said...

"Elisa: "I'm going to wander off now."

Tim: "Sorry, but you can't just wander off; you have to actually leave the building."


We love you!

BigAssBelle said...

in part, i loved this episode because it was so like the past years. i've been bored to tears by the ho hum crap they've done so far.

BUT . . . i experienced a moment of sadness when they entered the hershey store in times square.

you can get a hershey bar in every vending machine and corner store in america. it just seems kind of tragic that times square has become as dull and homogenized as the rest of the country, with chain stores on every corner and none of the dangerous and seedy glamour it had for so long.

that being said, i have made it known far and wide that I LOVED JILLIAN'S DRESS!! :-) loved it.

BigAssBelle said...

Sorry, but you can't just wander off; you have to actually leave the building."

and that, eric, was pretty priceless :-)

wildflower38 said...

"Sorry, but you can't just wander off; you have to actually leave the building."


A few thoughts:
When I saw Santino in that Saturn ad, I thought WTF.
Is Rami sleeping with M Kors? I'm suspicious.....
Ricky made a great dress but I cannot stand him anymore because of all that crying. And I'm not even going to talk about him in that girl's jeans and heels.
I liked Chris' dress that best!

Anonymous said...

Another fab recap! One of your best yet.