Saturday, October 01, 2011

Project Runway Season Nine, Episode 10: The Project Runway Bunch!

This episode was another group challenge, but it's one of those group challenges where each designer makes a completely separate look. Try not to think about it. Actually, they have to make two looks. But what will inspire them this time?

Heather Archibald, from Piperlime: "Our customer is very into trends. Trends are really trending right now."

Tim: "I'm wondering if you realize that that doesn't actually mean anything."

Heather: "Well, the big trend right now is that everyone wants to dress like Carol Brady. Carol Brady is the very essence of 70s casual elegance, and young people just can't get enough of her look."

The designers get a dossier on Carol Brady so they will know what to make.

Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Sex on a stick.

Josh: "I don't know an insane amount about Carol Brady because I was literally born yesterday."

In this exciting episode, Anya loses her Kitty Karry-All doll at Mood and she blames Josh, who just wanted to practice playing his kazoo:

Anya: "I'm telling Tim!"

Heidi: "I'm sorry honey, but Tim is golfing and, besides, we don't want to bother Tim on his day off."

All the girls take Anya's side:

Anya: "Josh hated my Kitty Karry-All!"

Laura: "It's true. He was always saying so!"

Kimberly: "We are going to get that doll back!"

Anya: "And Kitty doesn't even have her bottle. She'll starve to death!"

[insert laugh track here]

At first the boys all take Josh's side:

Bert: "Do you take the sacred pledge that you didn't steal Anya's doll?"

Josh: "I swear!"

Viktor: "He took the sacred pledge! That proves he didn't do it!"

The designers start beating the crap out of each other and then Tim comes in and breaks it up:

Tim: "We are going to search Mood from top to bottom until we find that doll!"

Tim goes into the Mood kitchen, where Michael Kors is trying to prepare dinner. He tries looking in the oven:

Michael Kors: "If I had known you wanted a doll so badly, I would have baked you one."

[insert laugh track here]

The doll still doesn't show up and the boys start turning on Josh. Nobody will play with him. Tim gives the kids a civics lesson:

Tim: "Designers, gather 'round. We have something in this country called the criminal justice system. The accused are presumed innocent until proven guilty. Then we fry those sons of bitches. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

The designers hold a mock trial with Michael Kors as the judge. The trial lasts about thirty seconds, which is just long enough for the pot roast to catch on fire:

Michael Kors: "Oh, Christ! My pot roast!"

Some of the looks this week were actually not bad. The top three and bottom three were pretty clear.

Kimberly's first look was ugly. The print for the circle top was terrible and the skirt was so not Carol Brady. The second look was a nice gray plaid suit. I liked the second look but it wasn't very well made. Kimberly is in the middle:

Kimberly: "Anya, Anya, Anya! It's always Anya! Nobody ever notices me because I'm in the middle!"

Anthony Ryan's first look is a mess. It's just a bunch of awful mismatched fabric thrown at a model. His second look is actually very 70s and I kind of like it. The print is cool. Unfortunately, it may be a little too 70s and isn't really updated at all. The judges hate it.

Bert made two pretty great looks. I'm not really sure what the first one is -- a beach coverup? Anyway, the shear print over sequins in pretty cool and his little jersey dress is adorable, if not exactly groundbreaking. He's in the top three and the judges want to sell the dress on Piperlime.

Laura made two horrible looks. She chose awful fabrics that made no sense together.

Laura: "Nina is just jealous because I'm so popular and pretty and I know she threw that football at my face on purpose."

Josh made a fabulous blinged-out Star Trek uniform and a black-and-neon dress that is totally 70s because of the length. Also, I think he stole that doll."

Josh: "I did not!"

Anya's first look is not bad for $11.50. But that's about the best thing I can say about it. I love the fabric for her second look, which is a jumpsuit. But it flares out at the hip in an unattractive way. She definitely deserves to be safe, but it wasn't as great as the judges made it out to be.

Nina: "She is so resourceful. Even though she lost her Kitty Karry-All doll, she just kept working and did her best."

Both of Viktor's looks are impeccable. The winner is obvious.

Too bad the winner wasn't obvious to the judges. They give the win to Anya because they feel bad about her doll.

Anthony Ryan is out. Sorry, Anthony Ryan!

Joshua says he wasn't alive in the 70s so he doesn't understand the Carol Brady look. The other designers delicately point out that he is an idiot:

Viktor: "I wasn't alive in the 70s either, but I've watched television."

Josh: "Yes, but not everyone is like you! I spend all my time staring into the mirror! How am I supposed to know anything about the rest of the world?"

Kimberly: "I think it is important for fashion designers to know something about the Carol Brady look."

Bert: "Yeah, that's what designing is all about -- Carol Brady. Now, just tell us where the doll is and we'll forget about the whole thing."

Josh storms out of the room, which is the only way he knows how to leave a room. He is very depressed:

He thinks really hard about what to do:

He finally decides to hang himself in his closet:

No! Don't do it, Josh! You have so much to live for! 

Oh, wait, Tim finds Anya's Kitty Karry-All doll! Swatch the dog stole it and hid it in his dog house. It was in there the whole time! 

That darn dog!

[insert laugh track here]

Shout out to Other Eric for his Brady Bunch DVD collection!


Cliff O'Neill said...

Mom always said, "Don't sew sequins in the house!"

ePastor James said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ePastor James said...

Watching Tim Gunn say "Then we fry those sons of bitches." would be the Best. Moment. Ever. I'm still LOL-ing, picturing him saying it with his upside-down-fists shaking in motivation at the designers.

And 100% agree that Viktor should have been the blatant winner here. I felt as if they were needlessly nitpicking as a means of justifying Anya's pity win. (Let's be honest here: That second challenge was made to protect Anya.) Actually, Viktor deserved to win the past four consecutive challenges, quite frankly. That's just too much of a sweep for PR though! Still, I was flabbergasted they didn't offer to sell Viktor's shirt in addition to Anya's and Bert's stuff. But then again, who the fuck actually uses Pooperlemon?

eric3000 said...

Seriously, the least they could have done was to sell one of Viktor's pieces on Piperlime! It was just rude not to.

MoHub said...

Anya's looks had the "virtue" of requiring almost no sewing skills to produce, making it easy for Piperlime to mass-produce her stuff cheaply and sell it at an exorbitant markup.

Viktor's simply had too much detail to allow Piperlime to convert them into price-gougeworthy products.

eric3000 said...

That's true! But, as ePaster James pointed out, they could have produced his T-shirt. The judges loved that piece, so why couldn't they just throw him a bone?

katnap said...

Best recap ever! katspouse lived down the street from little Bobby Brady, who was mormon and not allowed candy or pop. Figures he would grow up to be Josh.

lovemesomenobody said...

Love the Brady Bunch references. It was my favorite show as a kid and I know every single episode backwards and forwards. Just so ya know. Oh, and Michael Kors = Alice? Genius!

I admit I liked saucy old Bert this week. Liked the garments he made too. I guess I'm still rooting for the old guy to beat the kids.

Katie said...

I get Piperlime's email stuff and Friday morning the tag line was "buy the stuff you saw on PR last night"....out of curiousity I click on the link...Anya's dress = $198!!!!! I understand designer stuff is pricey but I would only pay $198 for something really creative/new...that jumpsuit--seen it before.

eric3000 said...

Yeah, I don't know anything about Piperlime, but that seems expensive. You could get that for $20 at H&M.

And thanks for the comments, Brady Bunch fans! I have to point out that Other Eric suggested the episode. I mentioned wanting to write something with Swatch stealing the money, and he had just the right reference!

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

Loved the recap and glad you explained the kitty purse incident. I had it all wrong, I thought Anya pocketed the cash in a plot to get sympathy and some extra cash for hairspray. "Anya, Anya, Anya". The all Anya show.

I am sure she loves it.

I thought her jumpsuit was ridiculous. Whatever happened to "No women wants to look big in the hips." idea? Oops that was Project Runway, I forgot I was watching the Brady Bunch. My mistake.