Project Runway Season Twelve, Episode 2: The Affair of the Necklaces!

We open the episode with two scary guys in uniform. The designers wonder what it could possibly mean:

Heidi will explain

Heidi: “You would probably like to know why these gendarmes are here. Well, they are here to escort Marie Antoinette to her execution. But perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning. In 2001 The King of Excess, Baz Luhrmann, commissioned the jeweler Stefano Canturi to create the most spectacular necklace ever made so that he could give it as a gift to his mistress, Madame du Barry. Unfortunately, Luhrmann died shortly after filming Moulin Rouge and the thirty-million-dollar necklace was never paid for, which left Canturi in a terrible position. This is where the challenge comes in. The designers will need to create a dress that will trick Cardinal Rohan into thinking he is buying the necklace for Marie Antoinette."

Jesus Christ

Historical reenactment of what it would have looked
like if Madame du Barry had been given the necklace

Heidi: "As I always say, in fashion one day you’re in and the next day you are being guillotined.”

So true. Well, let’s find out what the designers think about having to work with this necklace:

Timothy: “You know, on the one hand I don’t really want to design around a necklace created for the king’s prostitute, but on the other hand if I don’t use the necklace it will just be thrown in the trash. I’m torn about it, but I guess used jewelry fits into my sustainable design aesthetic.”

Plus, I hear the diamonds are totally organic.

Tim Gunn: “OK, listen up, designers. This is how it will work: a criminal named Jeanne de la Motte-Valois is going to use forged letters to convince Cardinal Rohan to deposit $4,000 into your GoBank accounts, which you can then use to create dresses to showcase the necklace. Don’t go crazy. You need to save some of that money to pay an actress to impersonate the queen. And you’ll also need to bribe the judges, as usual.”

There was much drama in the workroom this week. There was a sword fight between Ken and Sandro, Sue got mad at everyone else because she doesn't know how to use the sewing equipment, and we were introduced to season twelve breakout star RJ Larese, who valiantly came to the aid of Sandro as he was being attacked by a violent mob peasants who were refusing to steam his garments for him:

Sandro: "You just can't get good help these days."

season twelve breakout star RJ Larese, a.k.a. Madame Deficit

Most of the dresses were boring. I understand that the designers didn't want to distract from the jewels, but I don't think it was necessary to go quite that bland:

Nina Garcia would like to make it clear
that this does not look like a foaming vagina

TImothy, Helen, and Kahindo are the bottom three:

Where's the design, Timothy?

Timothy: "Yeah, totally."

No, really. Where's the design?

Timothy: "I completely get where you're coming from."

It's not a rhetorical question, Timothy. Kate Winslet is completely naked, except for the necklace. What are you doing here?

Timothy: "That's such a deep philosophical point. What are any of us really doing here?"

OK, I give up. To be honest, I actually liked Timothy's weird racer-front dress. Yes, the dress looked like it was on backward. So what? Yes, it would be hard, if not impossible, to wear a bra with it. What's your point? That this is the first dress in Project Runway history that can't be worn with a bra? Really? Anyway, the dress did look like it was thrown together at the last minute, which it was, so I understand why it was on the bottom, but you all know I give extra points to any design that doesn't put me to sleep. He's safe.

Helen really bombed this week. I completely sympathize with her for trying to do something challenging. She had probably seen cups made many times and thought she could handle it. I won't punish her for that. And I accept that she ran out of time because of the cups and that's why the fit was so terrible. I'm on board with the "taking a risk" excuse up to a point. But the judges also hated the awful fraying detail on the hips, which is apparently her specialty. She can't even execute her own specialty? That's a problem. But she's safe.

Kahindo is out. Sorry, Kahindo. I thought the fabric she picked was beautiful, but the dress she made was completely wrong for the fabric and for the jewelry. Tim's idea to "mitigate" the pattern just made it worse, in my opinion, but it would have been bad either way.

The top three are Sandro, Dom, and Kate.

Sandro says too much of a good thing is wonderful

Sandro created another dramatically tacky garment. I'll give him credit for not being boring. If I must.

Dom was in contention for the win. I was impressed by how well her fun, casual dress worked with the formal, old-fashioned emerald necklace.

But Kate wins it with a beautiful dress made specifically for Marie Antoinette:

Kate: "I thought this dress would be perfect for Marie Antoinette to wear as she's being dragged through the streets of Paris."

A dress fit for a queen

Congratulations, Kate! I love the dress!

Kate: "Thank you. It feels so good to know that everyone in the world loves me!"

Dom was so close to that necklace she could almost reach out and touch it:

Careful, Dom, it's a trick!

Eventually, Jeanne de la Motte-Valois escaped to London, where she fell out a window. And that's the story of the French Revolution.

Sandro: "Eric Three Thousand, can I give you some advice?"

Absolutely.

Sandro: "You should really just shut up."

Sandro makes Julia Roberts laugh