Friday, November 15, 2013

Project Runway All Stars Season Three, Episode Four: Back to School!

Rodney Dangerfield performs the legendary Triple Lindy
Alyssa Milano: This week we are bringing back a classic Project Runway challenge!

Ooh, I hope it’s that challenge from season three where Rodney Dangerfield went to college in order to help Malan Breton make the diving team!

Alyssa Milano: Oh, yeah, that was a good one. But no, we are going to a school that specializes in art in order to let your inner artist run wild!

Oh, I know! It’s that challenge from season nine where the designers went to the Harlem School for the Arts and teamed up with student painters!

Alyssa Milano: No. Please stop guessing now. I’ll tell you what the challenge is. I went to the producers and said, “I think it’s time to bring back this classic challenge. People are still talking about it after all this time, so let’s try to repeat that success.” And they said, “Alyssa, you are a freaking genius.” So here it is! Ready for this classic challenge that I decided to bring back for this season of All Stars?

Sock it to me!

Alyssa Milano: It’s the unconventional materials challenge!

Huh? Which one?

Alyssa Milano: What do you mean? Maybe you are unfamiliar with this challenge. Let me explain. The designers have to make clothes out of unconventional materials. 

Yeah, we know what an unconventional materials challenge is. We have one every season. That doesn't really qualify as "bringing back a classic challenge."

Alyssa Milano: Really? OK, well, how about the season seven challenge where Arnold Schwarzenegger went undercover and took Tim’s place as mentor and the designers’ whining gave him a headache and Emilio Sosa suggested that maybe it was a tumor and he responded by saying that it was not a tumor?

Classic Project Runway.

Alyssa Milano: Great, we’ll do that one then.

The designers have four minutes to ransack a classroom, grab school supplies, and save Penelope Ann Miller from her drug dealer ex-husband.
This week, at Parsons
Elena: I can’t believe it! You totally stole my inspiration! You were doing one movie and then you completely changed your post to another movie! What am I supposed to do now? I’m ruined! I’ll be stuck in the top three again! Why does this always happen to me?!

I think you’re overreacting.

Christopher: No, I totally saw you steal her inspiration.

Irina: I don’t know why Elena is giving you movie inspirations anyway. This is a competition!

Jeffrey: I don’t remember anyone saying my dress had to be wearable!

Nobody has even criticized your garment yet, Jeffrey.

Jeffrey: I know. I’m just practicing.

Zanna makes her rounds and announces a twist:

Zanna: In keeping with the theme of the challenge, the makeup this week will be done by small children using the new Mary Kay At Play line of cosmetics, based on the idea that your actual lips are only a vague suggestion of where your lip color should go:

Close enough!
You go, girl!
On to the runway, with Alyssa, Georgina, Isaac, and actors Arnold Schwarzenegger and Penelope Ann Miller.

Honorable mention this week goes to Irina, who created a really pretty, fun dress:

Irina's should have been in the top three

Elena, Viktor, and Christopher had the top designs.

Elena's nice but expected dress
Viktor's beautiful dress
Christopher's elaborately constructed sob story
Christopher's dress was certainly dramatic and flattering, but it also felt like something we've seen a million times before. And, unlike Penelope Ann Miller on the judging panel, I did not immediately get the reference to bullying from this.

Christopher: Growing up gay was really hard. So I made this dress.

Isaac feels manipulated by Christopher's story
Isaac: What's the big deal? So, you were tortured to the point of suicide. Walk it off!

I kind of get where Isaac is coming from. The story seemed a little bit manufactured to pull on the judges' heartstrings. Unlike, for instance, Dom, who seemed genuinely excited to be promoting equality in the bow tie challenge last season, Christopher just seemed to be feeling sorry for himself. I guess when the dress is used in the Mary Kay advertisement, he will mention that bullying is bad and maybe he'll change the mind of that one Marie Claire reader who had, up until that point, thought bullying was a good thing. Maybe that dress will change the world. What do I know.

Jeffrey, Mychael, and Korto were the bottom three:

Jeffrey realized his vision, terrible as it was
Mychael's does look better if you close your eyes
Korto's was a disaster, but the neck piece is nice
Alyssa Milano: We are bringing back a classic Project Runway elimination! Remember that episode where nobody was eliminated?

Why are you doing this?

Alyssa Milano: We can’t think of any reason to send anyone home this week.

I have a reason for you: the bottom three garments were awful.

Alyssa Milano: I mean besides that.


Anonymous said...

this season is such a mess, but i'll keep watching...

eric3000 said...

Of course we'll keep watching. We don't have any choice.