Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Project Runway Recap: Season One, Episode 9: Grammy Panties!

Warning!!! This is the recap for episode 9 that the Project Rungay boys and their fans are watching tonight on DVD. I'm putting this up a few hours early because I'm on my way to the airport. If you are planning to watch this episode tonight, don't read this yet! Come back later! And, as a courtesy to other readers, please remember to turn off your cellular phones and pagers. Thank you.

We begin with a note from Robert:

Dear Jay and Austin,
I was just kicked off the show. I was surprised to learn I had been participating in some sort of design competition. This was a complete shock to me; I thought I was on Big Brother! Well, it was a blast, anyway! You guys rock!
Love, Robert

Aw, wasn't that sweet?

Wendy explains why she's still here:

Wendy: "There was always someone worse."

Come on; you have to give her credit for her honesty! Isn't it refreshing to not have a crappy designer bragging about how great she is? Well, if that isn't enough to win you over, how about printing out her pictures of the other designers?:

Wendy: "Remember when everyone didn't hate my guts?"

Oh, yeah; I remember back when the world was new and life was full of promise.

Wendy: "It wasn't that long ago."

OK, so they have to pick models. Jay, for some reason, picks Julia again.

Other Eric: "Well, maybe she had a really good reason for not being there last time."

I don't care; I think the most important part of modeling is showing up. Anyway, It gives Austin the opportunity to have a dramatic moment because Jay didn't pick him to model again after the kick-ass job he did in the last challenge.

So, they are designing for the red carpet ...

Austin: "Oh My God! Oh My God!"

... for the Grammy Awards.

Austin: "Aw, crap."

Tim: "But being Project Runway you know there's a twist! Who's the most glamorous person in the world?"

Austin: "Grace Kelly!"

Tim: "No; try someone living."

Jay: "Halle Berry?"

Kara: "Catherine Zeta Jones?"

Wendy: "You, Tim, are the most glamorous person in the world."

Tim: "Don't be such a suck-up, Wendy. No, obviously I'm talking about Nancy O'dell!"

Designers: "oh. right."

Other Eric: "That's not really a twist."

Tim: "Would you give me a break here and try to act like getting Nancy O'dell is a big deal?"

Sorry. Holy Crap; Nancy O'dell! How did Bravo get such a huge star? I don't think my heart can take such an exciting twist!

Tim: "Alright; that's enough. But wait, there's more! If you call right now you'll also get someone to help you in the design room! Guess who it is?"

Jay: "Is it a deformed Korean woman with extra fingers?"

Tim: "What? Jesus, you people are terrible at guessing today. No, it's Robert!"

Designers: "Tim, why are you punishing us?"

Robert: "Their excitement at seeing me was almost embarrassing."

At Mood Wendy and Kara both pick orange fabric. Everyone decides that clearly Kara is copying Wendy:

Jay: "God, Kara can't come up with any of her own ideas so she has to copy Wendy all the time. It's pathetic."

Wendy: "Oh, I don't mind. I find it flattering that Kara respects me so much as a designer that she would want to take inspiration from me."

Jay: "Aw, Wendy is so generous and kind. Don't you just love her to death?"

OK, so that's not really how it happened. Obviously everyone assumes that Wendy is not capable of thinking of the color orange on her own and is stealing from Kara. And Kara is not flattered:

Kara: "I am such a great designer and I'm not going to let it bother me if that old no-talent wants to copy me. I'm just going to stand here complaining and not letting it bother me. Nope, doesn't bother me at all. Why should it? I'm so talented! If she can't come up with her own ideas then just let her copy me. I'm not going to let it get to me. You think I care? Because I don't!"

Well good; that's settled, then.

The designers go to Michael Kors's studio. I still have no idea why. They walk through Bryant Park:

Kara: "Oh, it feels like coming home again. Have I told you all about how I had a show here and how great it was and how I got in the paper and how talented I am and that I've designed for rock stars?"

Other Designers: "Yes."

Kara: "OK; just checking."

While the designers are gone Robert finishes all their outfits. Just kidding.

On to the runway:

Wendy creates a pretty cute little outfit with a feathered mini-skirt. Nancy only likes the top, which I thought was pretty boring:

Nancy: "I think that one could work. I pick Wendy's."

Nina: "Heidi, do you think sometime you could get us a guest judge who isn't on crack?"

Austin totally steals a design from Santino and creates a very pretty but completely uninspired gown that is really inappropriate for the Grammy's. It causes Nina to break into song:

How do you solve a problem like Austin?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Austin?

A flibbertijibbet, a will o the wisp, a clown
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him

Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh how do you solve a problem like Austin?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
When I'm with him I'm confused,

Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
He's as flighty as a feather
He's a darling, he's a demon, he's a lamb
He'd outpester any pest

Drive a hornet from its nest
He can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
He is gentle, he is wild

He's a riddle, he's a child
He's a headache, he's an angel
He's a girl!

Wow! Nina really has a set of lungs on her!

Jay's dress is really cool. I'm not sure why he made it in the one color Nancy said she hates. I think he intentionally sabotages himself because he's afraid of success. But that's just my professional opinion. So, Nancy complains about the color. Nina and Michael complain about the fabric of the top. We get a flashback to where Kara is telling Jay to put that fabric on the top. The producers clearly want us to think it's Kara's fault. But she was absolutely right; the top looks so much better with her suggestion. I thought the top worked with the skirt but I could see that if you were being filmed from the waist up it would be pretty boring.

Kara pairs a very pretty but, like Austin, uninspired dress over a wide pant. It had a slight Indian look to it. No, not Native American; India Indian; you know, like, from India. Michael thought it was a tired look. He's probably right. Nancy says she could never wear that much beading on camera.

OK, so what's the verdict?:

Nina: "You all suck!"

Michael: "Yeah; what she said."

Heidi: "Since your designs were all so terrible we've decided to just kick all of you off and end the show right now. Auf Wiedersehen!"

Tune in next time to see none of the designers preparing for Olympus Fashion Week!


BigAssBelle said...

haha! this was DIVINE!!! i was thinking kara's model needed a red dot on her forehead to make it Just Right.

that wendy. what a sow. this had to be rigged for dramatic purposes. that no talent evil wench in the final three. stunning.

Anonymous said...

Hehe, love your reviews. The Robert's note part was cute. I remember liking him a lot just for seeming like such a good-natured, nice (but totally dumb) guy, even though him making it to final five was silly. But not sillier than that fucking Wendy Pepper making it to final 3! God, I still get annoyed thinking back on it.

Ms. Place said...

Dahling, you are in London now. I am so jealous. If you're checking your blog from some Internet Cafe, I send you my best bon voyage wishes.

Anonymous said...

so2 wanna be with the erics n London, and do Paris too, my other fav


trixie b said...

Another hysterical summary. And spot-on. I agree that it is refreshing that Wendy doesn't do the whole blowhard "I am the greatest" thing. It's one reason I don't mind her quite so much ... and why Kara Saun starts to become tiresome.

"Austin totally steals a design from Santino... That's nice.