Friday, April 20, 2007

Project Runway Season Two, Episode 11: Whose Line is it, Anyway?

For those of you just joining us, the boys of Project Rungay are blogging season two of Project Runway on DVD and I'm blogging along with them.

We start the episode with everyone bitching about Santino:

Kara: "Bitch, bitch, bitch."

Chloe: "Bitch, bitch, bitch."

Daniel: "Bitch, bitch, bitchety-bitch."

There's even a note on the blackboard from Nick:

Nick: "Dear Daniel, bitch, bitch, bitch."

OK. I get it: Santino sucks and he shouldn't be there.

Santino: "Bottom line is my design was better than Nick's."

Daniel: "I can't believe he's pretending his garment was well made."

He didn't say that, dummy. He said his design was better.

Then we are back on the runway so Chloe can keep Grace and we can finally get rid of Gumby the model. Chloe looks so pretty and she's wearing more makeup than usual. Oh, yeah, it's because we've gone back in time and we are in a scene that was shot at right after the last runway show. Chloe is still wearing her prostitute makeup but she's pulled her hair back and she's in normal clothes so she actually looks good again after Daniel horrible makeover.

The designers take a field trip to visit Fern Mallis. The designers pretend to know who she is. I'm just kidding; everyone knows who Fern Mallis is.

Kara: "She's the one who lets people into the tent."

OK. So she's some sort of bouncer who works the door at a circus? No; of course she runs 7th on Sixth, which runs Olympus Fashion Week. Or something like that.

So Fern tells the designers that the most important thing in the fashion industry is being nice. Well, obviously. I mean, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of the fashion industry is just how nice everyone is. Isn't that right, Donatella?

Donatella Versace: "GET OUT!!!!"

Exactly! So Daniel glares at Santino to make sure he got the message:

Daniel: "I've been trying to tell Santino that if he would just be nice it wouldn't matter that his clothes all look like shit. But does he listen to me? no."

Yeah, that was subtle, Daniel. What a dick. OK, so they are going to make an evening gown that will represent their final collections. This kind of sucks if you weren't going to have evening wear in your final collection:

Kara: "Word."

I have no problem with having a challenge to make an evening gown. I just think it was unfair to expect Kara to make an evening gown that represents a sportswear collection. Yes, most runway collections do include at least one evening gown but they don't have to.

The designers have $300 and two days (minus mandatory partying). After they buy fabric and start making their designs, Tim tells them they are designing for Iman and she will wear the dress to a "big event."

What big event?

Tim: "Don't you worry about it. It will be big. Have I ever exaggerated the bigness of anything before?"

Yes. You presented both Nancy O'Dell and Nickie Hilton as big celebrities.

Tim: "OK, fine! Iman will wear the dress to a very minor event. Are you satisfied?"

The designers are then forced to have a good time and get drunk right when they are trying to finish their designs. Don't get me wrong; the party looks fun. But why didn't they have it after this challenge instead of in the middle of it?

Jay, Kara Saun, and Austin are there and they give the designers advice:

Austin: "Be really thin."

Kara Saun: "Cheat early and often."

Jay: "I hope you all die."

They are so inspiring! Anyway, now that the designers are drunk, they get to work until 1:00 in the morning! The next day Chloe is ironing her sheets at the Atlas, for some reason. Oh, no, sorry; that's her dress.

On the runway, Iman joins Nina, Michael, and Heidi. For those of you who do not know who Iman is, she is the author of the book The Beauty of Color. She starts off the questions:

Iman: "Daniel, why did you make such a boring dress?"

Daniel: "I can create a beautiful dress with my eyes closed. So that's what I did."

[Blank stares from the judges]

Santino started out with a beautiful dress in a gold fabric that would have been perfect for Iman. Unfortunately, he covered it with fish scales:

Iman: "Why did you do that?"

Santino: "I was kidnapped by mermaids and forced to make nothing but the most beautiful dresses for them. Then I went on this odyssey and found a golden fleece and that's what I made this dress out of."

Judges: "What were you drinking last night?"

Kara's dress actually looked pretty good coming down the runway. It's pretty basic but the racer back is very cool and makes it more interesting than Daniel's. Unfortunately, the close-ups reveal that it is horribly wrinkled and the hem looks bad. I would say that this challenge threw her and she resorted to making a basic black dress because she doesn't know what else to make for evening wear, but she also made a basic black dress for the inspiration challenge, when she could have made anything she wanted.

Judges: "If you can't show your personal style in this challenge, how are we supposed to believe you will show us anything in a runway show?"

Kara: "Just trust me. It will be 'BAM'!"

Judges: "We don't know what that means but we aren't interested. Chloe, tell us about your dress."

Chloe: "Yes, Nina, I wanted her to look like she has a big, fat ass!"

Nina: "What? I didn't say anything."

Chloe: "Oh, sorry; I was just a little defensive after something Tim said."

But, in fact, her dress does look pretty crappy. It's all puckered in the seams and the ass is all saggy. It's too bad it doesn't fit better because, again, it's still more interesting than Daniel's.

Michael says that Santino's is like a 'Belly Dancers Gone Wild' video. Iman say's Chloe's is too Carolina Herrera. They think Kara's just generally sucks. That leaves Daniel's boring dress:

Iman: "Yes, it's boring; but if I'm wearing the dress it will be amazing!"

She has a point: no one is going to be looking at her dress, anyway. Daniel wins immunity for the finale, which means he wins season two of Project Runway! Congratulations Daniel!

OK, just kidding.

The designers are each asked which one of the other designers should not be going to Fashion Week with them. Chloe picks Santino because he can't sew. Santino picks Chloe because she can sew. No, actually he picks her because he thinks she's a pattern maker and not a designer. I really thought he was going to pick Kara, since that's who he's always said doesn't deserve to be there. After all the bitching, obviously Daniel and Kara are going to pick Santino, right? Wrong! They both pick Chloe! So everyone picks Chloe even thought she's clearly one of the few who actually deserves to be going to Fashion Week. What's up with that? Are they that threatened by her? I think her thoughtless comments earlier about not being sure about wanting to be there just planted the seed in the other designers' heads that she would make a good scapegoat. But just to be nice, one of them could have chosen someone else. Obviously, the whole thing was pointless since it didn't have an effect on the judges' decision.

Kara is out. Sort of. She still gets to make a collection and show at Fashion Week but we have to pretend like she doesn't exist.

Kara: "My heartbeat is right next to my heart."

I have no idea what she's talking about but I think maybe she needs a doctor.


Ms. Place said...

You so rock with your insights, Eric, that you make my skin crawl. (Quite a nice sensation, actually.)

In this episode we get a first hint that Kara can actually design because of the dress she's wearing. Her evening dress sucked; her own dress rocked.

Santino bores me. His stance bores me. He is nothing but affectation as far as I'm concerned.

ALL the final designs sucked. Iman was gracious. Her exquisite body and beautiful moves made Daniel's dress look exotic, but his basic design wasn't worthy of a win.

Frankly (this diatribe is a little long) I didn't like PR Season 2 at all. I loved Season One, and adored Laura in Season Three, but I only watched Season Two because I fell hopelessly in love with Tim Gunn and I couldn't get enough of him.

Your recaps are better than the show and I love your humor! Great post.

Anonymous said...

Yes. You presented both Nancy O'Dell and Nickie Hilton as big celebrities.

ROFL - your recaps are better than T&L's - I look forward to each and every one.