Thursday, April 05, 2007

Project Runway Season Two, episode 8: Two in the bush: or What happened to Andrae?

Nick: "Oh, my god, you guys, you won't believe what happened in the last challenge."

Zulema stole your model?

Nick: "Zulema stole my ... oh, you heard. Can you believe that bitch?! No, no, I'm fine, really. Thank you for your concern. No, I'm a strong person and just worked through the pain. Yeah, most people would have just given up, but not me. You won't find me feeling sorry for myself all the time. No, I only spend about 95% of my time sulking. Anyway, that bitch is gone and she deserved it. It's exactly what I hoped would happen."

You realize this means Tarah will probably be out as a model, right?

Nick: "Oh, shit. I guess I didn't factor that in to my Zulema-elimination fantasies."

Well, don't worry. There's always a possibility Daniel will choose Tarah over Rebecca.

Daniel: "Are you high?"

Or not. OK, Daniel keeps Rebecca and Tarah is out.

Nick: Oh, my god, can you believe he did that?! Everyone is out to get me! Now that poor, fabulous creature is out there on the mean streets of New York without anyone to take care of her. What will she do without me?"

Heidi: Enough whining. You'll be designing an outfit for a garden party but that's all I'm telling you. Tim Gunn will give you the details in the morning."

The next morning Tim goes to the Atlas apartments to take the designers on a field trip. The designers are completely surprised to see him, for some reason. So they are walking down the street to an undisclosed location. Nick tries to guess where they are going:

Nick: "We must be going to some fabulous Park Avenue apartment that has a garden."

You guessed the same thing when you were walking to Toys R Us. Ooh, maybe Barbie is having a garden party. Anyway, Tim takes them to a flower shop and the designers are stunned. I don't think they've ever seen flowers before. They have $100, which doesn't buy much in a flower shop. They end up with lots of leaves.

Nick walks around the shop snapping all the plants in half, getting out his aggression:

Nick: "That's for breaking my heart, you stupid flowers! Oops, I didn't know anyone was watching me."

Santino is the only one who buys a foundation for his leaves. He buys this floral netting that is really pretty. I thought it was pretty smart, especially because I was wondering what the other designers were planning to do with their leaves. Obviously they were allowed to use muslin as a foundation but this was never explained to us, the viewers. Tim doesn't seem to be clear on this, either. His podcast and blog contradict each other. One says the garments had to be made entirely from materials from the flower shops. The other says they can use the muslin in the design room. Well, obviously they assumed they would be able to use the muslin, whether or not they were told this ahead of time.

They are back in the design room, working on their garments and Tim tell them this is an immunity challenge.

Santino: "I want to win immunity so I can do something really offensive in the next challenge. So far, I've just been pandering to the judges."

Kara: "I want to win immunity so I can just sleep during the next challenge.

Andrae: "Well, I just want to make it to the final four and then let god work it out."

That's silly; everyone knows god doesn't get involved until it gets down to the final three.

The TimBot 5000 is malfunctioning, just saying ,"Make it work. Make it work," over and over again. Meanwhile, the real Tim goes to dinner at the Red Lobster with Andrae and they get in a fight. Andrae is telling Tim that he's been so distant lately and Tim finally admits that he is really in love with Daniel. Andrae throws a plate of lobster at him and then runs to the bathroom. Tim pays the bill.

When they get back to the design room, Tim makes the rounds:

Kara: "I don't know what I'm going to do about a skirt."

Tim: "Well, maybe if you hadn't smoked all your raffia, you would have some materials left."

Nick is making a micro-mini because he doesn't have enough material, either.

Kara: "I did not smoke his raffia, if that's what you're suggesting."

Andrae is still in a foul mood after the scene he made at Red Lobster:

Andrae: "I just have a lot of dead things."

Daniel comes out of the closet:

Chloe: "What? But you're so straight-acting!"

Nick: "Bitch, please. There is no way you're parents are so stupid they did not know you were gay."

Daniel: "You don't understand how hard it was growing up gay in a white upper-middle class family."

Yeah, if only he'd been poor or black life would have been so much easier for him. God, I really want to slap Daniel right now but I'm just going to remind myself that the designers are really tired and under a lot of stress and they are talking out of their asses.

Chloe tells us that her greatest fear is dating a gay guy. Nick tells us that he not only doesn't find women disgusting, but he actually lost his virginity to a woman.

Nick having sex with a woman? Ew, that's gross!

The next morning Andrae tells us he is not going home. Do I even need to say it?

Kara still hasn't made a skirt so she just takes Andrae's. Then she helps Chloe glue leaves on to her dress:

Kara: "There should be one girl in the final three and it sure as shit isn't going to be me. So I'm going to make sure Chloe stays in the competition."

But even with Kara, Chloe doesn't have enough hands to finish. She also gets Grace to help out. And then, when that isn't enough, she gets Kara Saun's shoe supplier, from Dollhouse Shoes, to help.

Wendy Pepper: "That is so unfair! Have you seen how cute my daughter is?"

On to the runway! The guest judge is Badgley Mischka, the fashion designer with two heads. The judges all wonder why the designers didn't create Rose-Parade floats. Are the judges that stupid? Don't answer that. But really, not only would the roses have been dead, but they couldn't afford hundreds of roses. Heidi, especially, as a producer, should have been aware of the budget. Having said that, there are hardier, cheaper flowers the designers could have picked; I don't think they did a great job shopping.

Chloe creates another great dress. The design is very simple but the little leaves create a really pretty look that is very fabric-like. The skull cap is stupid.

Kara surprises us with a great dress. The bodice is beautifully done. Like I said, I think she stole the idea of the skirt from Andrae but she did it very successfully. It was not quite as pretty as Chloe's but it certainly had more color in it, which the judges really wanted. I think maybe it should have been the winner.

Santino's was another surprise. I thought he did a very good job. It was possibly a bit much for a garden party but I liked the skirt and I thought the dress was very pretty. Some of the judges were concerned about how shiny the leaves were, for some reason:

Heidi: "I have no problem with shiny leaves."

Michael: "Yes, but that's because Germans have terrible taste."

Heidi: "Those are big words, coming from someone wearing that much orange makeup."

Michael: "I love you, you bitch!"

Heidi: "I love you, you big queen! Now, what do we think of Daniel's?"

Badgley Mischka: "I think it looks like a really cute WASPy garden party dress!"

Daniel: "That's exactly what I wanted to make! A cute WASPy garden party dress! God, it was so hard growing up gay in a WASPy garden-party world."

Badgley Mischka, Michael Kors: "Oh, we can totally relate."

Nina: "Will you all shut up about how hard life is for rich white fags?! You make me sick!"

I really can't figure out why they love Daniel's so much. I think it's fine but it kind of makes Rebecca's hips looks huge. And they are going on about how it's so wearable and really looks like a dress but I think it looks like a bush and is nowhere near as wearable as Chloe's or Kara's. Anyway, Daniel wins, mainly because he stuck flowers on it.

Andrae has made a topiary dress. I completely understand the judges' concerns about how stiff it looks but it's still really cute.

Michael: "It just isn't joyous."

Nina: "'It just isn't joyous?' What the hell does that even mean?!"

Michael: "Geez, Nina, stop yelling at me."

Nick makes another piece of crap. Man, is it awful. It looks so cheap and I think Rachel has babies breath growing out of her hoo hoo. He should have been out for this. But he's safe:

Heidi: "Andrae?"

Andrae: "What? Huh? Did someone call my name? I don't understand. What do you want?"

Heidi: "Calm down. It's not that complicated. I'm just trying to tell you that you are auf."

Andrae: "OK, everyone, stop crying! I'm the only one allowed to cry!"

And that's what happened to Andrae.

3 comments:

Ms. Place said...

Daniel: "That's exactly what I wanted to make! A cute WASPy garden party dress! God, it was so hard growing up gay in a WASPy garden-party world."

Badgley Mischka, Michael Kors: "Oh, we can totally relate."

Nina: "Will you all shut up about how hard life is for rich white fags?! You make me sick!"


Some of your best dialogue yet. Hysterical!

I loved Chloe's dress more. Grace looked fabulous.

BigAssBelle said...

this was a crazy challenge, but your hysterical summary made it more tolerable. cheers! fine work!

trixie said...

Yes -- you finally found the right answer to the question : it is the perfect fairy tale ending:

"and THAT is the story of what happened to Andrae."


It is a rather confusing story -- pieced together from many different folk traditions. I have forgotten exactly how the tale went. I'm glad you were able to put the various parts back together in order to recreate the whole story:

The TimBot 5000 is malfunctioning, just saying ,"Make it work. Make it work," over and over again. Meanwhile, the real Tim goes to dinner at the Red Lobster with Andrae and they get in a fight. Andrae is telling Tim that he's been so distant lately and Tim finally admits that he is really in love with Daniel. Andrae throws a plate of lobster at him and then runs to the bathroom. Tim pays the bill. When they get back to the design room, Tim makes the rounds.

It is a story for the ages.


I'm with ms. place -- this was a great riff:

Daniel comes out of the closet:
Chloe: "What? But you're so straight-acting!"
Daniel: "You don't understand how hard it was growing up gay in a
white upper-middle class family."

Yeah, if only he'd been poor or black life would have been so much easier for him

Badgley Mischka: "I think it looks like a really cute WASPy garden party dress!"
Daniel: "That's exactly what I wanted to make! A cute WASPy garden party dress! God, it was so hard growing up gay in a WASPy garden-party world."
Badgley Mischka, Michael Kors: "Oh, we can totally relate."


ha ha

Nina: "Will you all shut up about how hard life is for rich white fags?!

..."because those of us from the elite latin american 0.01% upper class rich have it very hard. Sometimes we actually catch glimpses of the way the rest of the people in our countries live."


A few other lines that cracked me up:

The guest judge is Badgley Mischka, the fashion designer with two heads. ;

The judges all wonder why the designers didn't create Rose-Parade floats. ;

Nick makes another piece of crap. Man, is it awful. It looks so cheap and I think Rachel has babies breath growing out of her hoo hoo.;

and this little exchange:

Heidi: "I have no problem with shiny leaves."
Michael: "Yes, but that's because Germans have terrible taste."
Heidi: "Those are big words, coming from someone wearing that much orange makeup."


Your recaps are the best Eric!

(I actually thought this was a fabulous challenge. It was a shame Kara didn't win. If the judges wanted flowers they should have said so. And given them more money for flowers. And frankly, Nick should have been kicked off for that monstrosity. It was the only flop. I liked Andrea's topiary. So what if it didn't "fit" -- it was sculpturally beautiful and not unflattering)