Friday, April 10, 2009

E3K Classics!

I'm still on blogging break so I'm reposting another gem from the archives. This one is from July 29th 2007. Enjoy!

Extreme Eric Three Thousand: Home Edition!

Has this ever happened to you? You go into your bathroom to take a shower but it turns out you only have a bathtub? Well, don't worry; Eric Three Thousand is here to help! Why pay a plumber when you can do a thoroughly unprofessional job yourself?

Here's what you'll need:
2 shower rods
3 shower curtains (divided)
1 tube of caulk
plumber's tape
1 8 oz. can of SPAM
1 plumbing ring
1 screw driver
1 pair goggles
Glad Press 'n Seal
1/2 cup putty
1 plastic thingy to apply the putty
1 sheet E-Z Patch
2 dozen shower rings
1 shower head and wall fixture

Try to get someone to help you. Oh, forget it; you can do it yourself!
[Just kidding! A big thanks to Other Eric for his amazing photographic work during this shoot!]

First step: smash a big hole in the wall.
[Hint: you may want to skip this step.]

Step 2: Use a screw driver for leverage to unscrew the bath faucet.
Step 3: Patch up any resulting hole with E-Z Patch and putty and let it dry.
Step 4: "Borrow" paint from another unit in your building that is currently being renovated and paint over the putty. This will help keep the putty from melting.

Step 5: Apply the caulk to the ring. Try not to giggle while you are doing this step.

Step 6: After the paint has dried, apply a sheet of Glad Press 'n Seal over the patch.
[This portion of the program has been brought to you by Glad Press 'n Seal]
No, seriously, this will add one more layer of moisture protection.
Step 7: Hang the curtains. They will cover all four sides. Cut one of the curtains into two pieces to stretch between the shower rods on the short ends, cutting holes in one to fit over the faucet knobs.

Step 7: Apply plumber's tape and then attach the shower head and the fixture to hold the shower head on the wall.

Step 8: Take a shower; you're filthy!

Finally: Do not allow your landlord to see what you have done to the bathroom!


Anonymous said...


-- desertwind

PS Jaysis! You make it look easy.

Ms. Place said...

OMG Eric, I am ROFLing and hiccuping with laughter. How much fun is this post? And you are teaching us a skill at the same time.

Dahling, you are a hottie in a bathtub and this post made my day.

trixie said...

Eric - you slay me!

That last image is a scream. (get it ha ha)

This may be the funniest post you've ever done. And yet so informative as well! I think you should develop a remodeling how-to book.

I'm serious. It would be fabulous!

trixie said...

ps the spam is a nice touch.

[and other eric looks like quite the cutie with his bright red hair]

Ms. Place said...

Yes, Trixie. Other Eric is a hottie too. My goodness, I am jealous.

toad said...

you need a Bravo show! or better, an HGTV show! it could be all about fabulousness! and you could be the host AND the fabulousness, all in one!

inventive use for that glad press n seal. i was afraid, when i first saw it, that something XXX-Rated was about to happen.

red-headed Other Eric! i had NO idea - hurray!

Damselfly said...

I love me a red 19 month old son attracts tons of attention with his.

You just made me gigle...but it is an ingenious Idea about the 3 shower curtains. I was wondering how you were going to keep the walls dry....alsowhen I read 3 shower curtains...I thought it was going to be a design thing not a construction thing.

Very funny!

eric3000 said...

Thanks, everyone! Glad you enjoyed it! And yes, that is Other Eric's natural hair color. Ha ha!

Doralong said...

That is the best laugh I've had in weeks!!!!!!!!

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

THis is why I keep coming back to your blog. How hysterical. I love the product placement. We don't watch Bravo for nothing. You two are so hot, dang, sometimes I wish I was a gay man.

Ms. Place said...

You funny man, I've tagged you.

Tom & Lorenzo said...

ROFL. That is SO funny, Eric. You two are adorable. And The Other Eric is a red read? Delicious!

Debbie said...

I am still trying to figure out what you did with the Spam? or was that payment for other Eric's camera work?

Marius said...

LOL! Great post! I love that last image. Hilarious!

Linda Merrill said...

Too funny! And very ingenious. Do you always shower with your glasses on?

frogboots said...

insomnia, so i'm re-reading your post - it's just that good!!!

2 questions:

are you wearing GOGGLES?

is that a DOLL cuddled up with Other Eric?

jeez. if either of the answers to these is "YES," then i think i'm in love!

Anonymous said...

Just the laugh I needed at the end of a hard work-week. Dy-No-Mite, Eric3000!

All the best,


BigAssBelle said...

hahahaha!!!! LOVE this. too cute. and aren't YOU too cute?? dang, what a doll!!

Steven said...

You funny man.

What's the number of your landlord...?

Miss XaXa said...

Eric, very funny! Glad to see you're doing your part as a Hawaiian to promote the offical State Potted Meat!

wildflower38 said...


Laura S said...

LOVE the shower curtains, and how cool that they match! When I get a place that needs a shower curtain (ie, no shower door), I may hang one against the wall just to have them match.

Anonymous said...

Eric,my dear,you are fucking brilliant.


Cliff O'Neill said...

OMG, we have the same shower curtain!

desertwind said...

April 14, 2009

Wow ow ow... Has it really been THAT long to see my all-time favorite Eric3000 post...

... giggle

eric3000 said...

Thanks for commenting on my repost!

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