The Fashion Show, episode six: Square Pegs!

All this show has to do is click with the right clique and it can finally have an audience that's worthy of it.

Isaac: "No way. Not even with cleavage."

So, last week Daniella won and Keith lost. Angel is hanging by a thread. And we can see the thread unravelling before our eyes.

For the quickfire, Isaac tells us the client will be someone who is a rising star in politics:

Reco: "Ooh, I hope it's that Sandra Paley woman. She's hot."

Haven: "Um, I hear Hillary Clinton is trying to break into politics. Maybe it's her."

I think Haven's shoulder pads are somehow seeping into her brain. By the way, I know I'm alone on this but I was really digging her Linda Evans look this week.

It turns out the client is running for student body president of her high school. The designers are assigned backpacks full of stereotypes. They have to create shirts that will alienate specific social groups. For instance, Lidia has to create a shirt that will guarantee a nerd to get a beating, Anna has to create a shirt that will make a goth roll her eyes in disgust, etc. Come on! If you put on a costume of a particular social group, they will just laugh at you. Imagine if John Kerry dressed up and pretended to go hunting just to appeal to a particular demographic. Oh, wait, that actually happened. And see how well that turned out?

Anyway, Daniella wins another challenge with her tree-hugger shirt. Angel doesn't even know what a B-girl is. I don't know what that is, either.

Isaac explains the elimination challenge:

Isaac: "You'll either be creating a design for a young woman inspired by the high school clique you had in the mini challenge or you'll be creating a design for a young woman who used to be in a clique when she was in high school. Those are two completely different concepts but we won't let you know which one we want until after the fashion show and we tell you that you just didn't understand the challenge."

I don't understand the challenge.

Isaac: "Let the confusion begin!"

Johnny: "I got jock. Obviously the first thing I thought of was a lesbian working at Home Depot."

Sure, that's the first thing we all thought of.

Johnny: "So I'm making leggings with fringe on the back."

I'm going to take a wild guess and say that Johnny has never met a jock or been to Home Depot.

Daniella has "tree-hugger":

Daniella: "Wash your hair, you smelly hippies!"

What the hell is wrong with her?

With four hours to go, Isaac and Kelly decide it's time to screw with the designers:

Isaac: "We really liked Merlin's outfit but we made sure he thought we hated it."

Why?

Isaac: "We were bored."

Johnny asks for advice from the other designers and then ignores it:

Johnny: "Send me home."

Yes, please send him home.

Anna's "goth" look is pretty nice. There really isn't anything "goth" about it - it's more "rock" - but it looks fine.

Reco's "drama" look is too short and looks like a negligee. But it isn't awful.

James-Paul's "preppy" look is cute. It's wearable and I see the inspiration.

Merlin's "mean girl" look is very good. He can veer toward costume but I think he pulled it off this week.

Haven's "skater" look is also successful. I see the inspiration but it also looks like something someone could wear. I wish it weren't all black.

Lidia's "nerd" look is not great. The overall look is kind of cute but, after several viewings, I still can't figure out what's going on. I guess that cheap white jacket, if it even is a jacket, is supposed to look like a lab coat but I can't see someone wearing it.

Johnny's "jock" look is truly terrible. It's sort of a jogging outfit that can't be worn jogging. Where on earth are you supposed to wear that outfit?

Daniella's "tree-hugger" look is another success. I can see someone wearing that to a Grateful Dead concert. Or whatever it is hippies do these days.

Angel's "B-girl" look doesn't seem quite that bad to me. Obviously, it isn't good. But it doesn't seem that bad.

The guest judge this week is Charles Bronson. It's possible I heard that wrong.

Haven and Merlin are the top two:

Kelly: "Let me read you some statistics. Nine out of ten dentists recommend Dentine to their patients who chew gum."

Merlin wins! Congratulations, Merlin!

The rest of the designers are brought on stage:

Isaac: "I know I just said that I was really happy with the designs this week. But now I'm going to say that most of you didn't understand the challenge."

Angel and Johnny are the bottom two:

Kelly: "As the official spokesperson for the hip-hop community, I was really insulted by your design, Angel."

Fern: "Kelly's going to bust a cap in your ass."

Kelly: "Nobody is busting a cap in anyone's ass, Fern."

Fern: "Sorry. I got a little carried away. But I also feel a special connection to the hip-hop community."

Kelly: "Really? Were you a B-girl, Fern?"

Fern: "Oh, yes. I was a Bea-girl. In fact, I was the president of the Bea Arthur fan club."

Now on to Johnny:

Kelly: "Johnny, ninety percent of the audience said they would not buy your outfit."

Johnny: "Only ninety percent?"

Kelly: "The other ten percent wouldn't stop crying long enough to fill out the questionnaire."

Johnny: "Oh, thank goodness. I didn't want to be a sellout."

The designers fight backstage:

Johnny: "I don't need to be here."

Reco: "I'm sick of this."

Johnny: "Haven, Reco is mad because you were in the top two."

Haven: "Reco, why don't you just say it to my face?"

Reco: "Daniella, you and I are the only talented ones here."

Daniella: "Reco, I am so annoyed/flattered by what you just said."

Johnny: "Whatever."

OK, did you get all that? Because the important thing to understand is that the whole argument was about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Meanwhile, back in the Hallway of Doom, the judges make their bad decision based on a false premise: The judges decide that Johnny is always really close to being good and Angel just has no potential.

REALLY?! ARE THEY ON CRACK?! Every week Johnny throws a bunch of random fabric at a model to see what sticks and then calls it art. Maybe he's a genius but I haven't seen any evidence of it on this show.

Anyway, Angel is out:

Fern: "Yo, check it, dog. We're just not feeling it."

Kelly: "Please don't do that, Fern."