Thursday, June 18, 2009

The fashion show, episode seven: Catwalk of Shame!

Last week Merlin won and Angel was out, leaving Johnny hanging by a thread and Reco hanging on my last nerve:

Reco: "Well, if you don't like my attitude, you can just ride on the retarded bus with everyone else."

OK, that's it. Reco crossed the line this week between entertainingly bitchy and just plain awful. Being happy about a bad design just because you don't like your teammate is not cool.

We start this episode with Merlin getting a phone call:

Merlin: "What bitch would call in the middle of the night and disturb my beauty sleep?! Oh, good morning, Miss Kelly! What a pleasant surprise! Well, of course we would be delighted to join you in the design room after getting four glorious hours of sleep! See you soon!"

For the quickfire, the designers will be working in pairs to fix "walk of shame" outfits so they are workplace appropriate. It sounds like a great idea for a challenge. Let's see how they screw it up:

Kelly: "You'll have this big box of clothes to work with in order to fix the outfits the Harper's interns are wearing."

Well, of course. Because when you go into work wearing the outfit from the night before, there is always a big box of extra clothes just sitting around waiting for you. That makes sense.

The show wins me back with the guest judge: Amanda from Ugly Betty! Love her!

The teams this week are:

Lidia and James-Paul
Johnny and Merlin
Anna and Haven
Daniella and Reco

Reco hugs his best friend/arch enemy:

Daniella: "Ow. Your touch is like kryptonite to me. I'd rather get a hug from a filthy hippie."

The designers cut and drape new outfits for the interns:

Kelly: "OK, time's up. Get your hands off your interns!"

Bill Clinton: "I swear, I never touched that intern!"

Johnny and Merlin win! Congratulations! I must have missed when Kelly announced this prize but, apparently, Johnny wins the opportunity to have sex with Isaac Mizrahi:

Isaac: "That's a really great advantage, right?"

Uh, sure.

For the elimination challenge, Kelly introduces the designers to their new boss:

Isaac: "I was trying to find a way to make this show more about my favorite subject: ME!"

Yes, this episode is all about Isaac. Just like every episode. The designers will be creating looks that will fit into his next collection. They will be working from Isaac's mood board:

Isaac: "These are all my ideas. It's like my brain exploded all over this piece of cardboard!"

Yes, that's exactly what it looks like.

Johnny gets his five minutes in heaven with Isaac. Isaac shows him his collection:

Johnny: "I was expecting it to be bigger."

Oh, that's cold.

James-Paul says he's designing a fish-shaped dress because there was a fish on Isaac's mood board. There's just one problem with that idea, other than the fact that it's a terrible idea: he's not actually designing the dress; Lidia is. James-Paul is designing some unrelated coat that will look terrible with--and yet be far superior to--the awful fish dress that he apparently decided Lidia would be making.

Haven and Anna are working really well together:

Haven: "I was like, 'let's find the ugliest fabric possible,' and Anna was all, 'oh, my god, that's exactly what I was thinking!' It's like we're sharing half a brain!"

Daniella and Reco are arguing about whether to make pants or a ball gown:

Reco: "Fine, we'll make the pants! But I'm going to make sure they are the worst pants anyone has ever seen!"

Daniella: "Good!"

Johnny and Merlin are working really well together, basically because Merlin is just doing all the work. To his credit, Johnny came up with a nice design but we all know it would have looked like crap if he had tried to make it himself.

Merlin is talking about himself in the third person. What do we think about that?:

Suede: "Well, Suede finds that so tiresome."

Everyone says Lidia sounds like a pigeon. You know what that means: Lidia is going home this week.

The designers get dressed for the fashion show:

Haven: "Hey, look, everybody! It looks like I'm not wearing pants!"

Johnny: "Wow, Haven, it looks like you're not wearing pants."

Haven: "I know, right? So Linda Evans!"

Isaac and Kelly make their usual counterproductive circuit through the design room. First, they "help" Johnny:

Isaac: "Johnny, is this felt? Well, it is now! Hahahahaha! See, because I just felt it. Hahahahaha!"

Johnny: "I don't get it."

Next, they move on to Haven:

Isaac: "Well, of course Haven is making shorts."

Haven: "Actually, they're culottes."

Isaac: "It's really funny that you say that because, actually, no, they aren't."

Out in the Hallway of Pointless Blather, Isaac predicts what will happen:

Isaac: "It's going to get dramatic!"

Kelly: "That seems unlikely."

On to the fashion show:

Reco and Daniella make an outfit with a really ugly pair of pants and a short swing jacket. The overall look really isn't that bad but the pants are pretty hideous and the judges think the silhouette is dated:

Reco: "You're welcome."

James-Paul's coat is pretty cool but I don't know why he chose a fabric that was so similar to the dress. That makes no sense. The dress is really unflattering on the model. It's pretty bad. And, while I'm not completely familiar with Isaac's work, I can tell he wouldn't have that dress in his collection.

Anna and Haven's look is really nice, except for the fabrics. I'm fine with clashing fabrics but I really didn't like their particular choices. But I loved the shape of the coat and I thought the look would probably fit with Isaac's collection.

Johnny and Merlin also had some clashing fabrics but I happened to like their choices more. It was another nice silhouette:

Isaac: "When I first saw that coat, I didn't know why Johnny would use felt. I thought god was punishing me. But now I don't know how he couldn't have used felt. Obviously, I'm a total idiot!"

We meet the guest judge:

Isaac: "You hated her on that show where Tim Gunn rummages through you underwear drawer but you're going to love her as a judge on this show! She's the only person who enjoys talking about me more than I do! Seriously, I could listen to her talk about me all day! It's Veronica Webb!"

OK, she actually is the best guest judge this show has had. In fact, I wouldn't mind seeing her as the co-host:

Kelly: "Hey! I can hear you, you know! I'm sitting right here!"

Anna and Haven win! Congratulations! I loved the coat!

The bottom two teams are James-Paul and Lidia and Reco and Daniella.

Daniella obviously has the balls on her team and she takes responsibility for the outfit.

Lidia is also on the bottom for her awful dress.

Lidia is out. Sorry, Lidia. I loved your personal style. I just wish some of it would have come across in the clothes you made on the show.

Next week will be the men against the women:

Daniella: "Men? That's a laugh."

Warning: While I hate to deny the world the healing power of laughter, I will be on holiday next week and will have to skip the next episode. I'm so sorry! But I will be back the following week!

4 comments:

Eric said...

I really though Veronica Webb was a great judge on this show. She made a lot more sense here than she did on that Tim Gunn show and she's leaps ahead of where Kelly is.

Cliff O'Neill said...

It's so funny that you noticed the exact same laugh lines I did! I knew there was an intern joke in there, but I got lost trying to think of it.

And how much do I love Amanda from Ugly Betty!!

But I was most taken by Lydia's comment at the end that she's a survivor.

I thought, "Nuh-uh, Kelly's the Survivor. She's gonna make it. She will survive. Keep on survivin'.

eric3000 said...

Don't worry, Cliff, the opportunity to make a cheap Lewinsky joke will never pass while I still have breath in my body!

Laura said...

Thanks again Eric, we'll miss you next week.