Thursday, August 19, 2010

Project Runway Season Eight, Episode Four: Jetblue's "All You Can Design" pass!

I don't have time to write this week's post because I'm too busy planning my Jetblue "All You Can Fly" schedule. I'm going to fly to 216 cities in one month and in each city I will create a garment in fifteen minutes using one dollar in materials. You could follow me on Twitter if knew what that meant. What? The pass just sold out? Oh. Never mind.

First, let's find out what happened to Ivy. As usual, it's all my fault. I made her eggs Benedict and she ended up in the hospital. Sorry about that. I'm a little bitter about the fact that I got salmonella-contaminated eggs from Iowa at my Trader Joe's, when I thought I was buying locally-produced salmonella-contaminated eggs.

Ivy is fine now and is back up to two packs a day. Good for her!

So, Heidi comes out onto the runway in slow motion to a Seal song wearing a flower on her head. It was a little weird. Then the models come out wearing more Philip Treacy hats. Some of them are amazing and some of them are, well, not so much.

Michael C. tells us this is the holy grail for designers, which makes me wonder if it's even more exciting than creating terrible digital designs to be printed onto stiff cotton fabric. It's not.

By the way, Michael C. will either win or lose this challenge, because he gets to talk to his son on the phone. How the hell does a 27-year-old gay guy have a six-year-old son? That just makes my ovaries hurt.

Anyway, the designers have the opportunity to work with the hat of their choice, which is really important, since that's the entire point of the challenge. But the designers completely ignore the challenge and just pick the same models they've been working with. Basically, they're saying the hats don't matter:

Philip Treacy: "You people can bite me."

Seriously, it's very disappointing that none of the designers wanted to take a chance and pick a hat that would inspire them. It should come as no surprise, then, that the designs themselves were uninspiring. After one of the best runways in several seasons last week, this week's runway was a big can of suck.

Gretchen, of course, has an opinion:

Gretchen: "Peach, Kristin, and April will be on the bottom. Also, I think Barack Obama might be a Muslim."

I'm just joking, of course. I don't think Gretchen is a member of the Tea Party. She just has a lot of annoying opinions.

Sarah Palin: "Gretchen: don't retreat ... reload. (Steps aside bc her 1st amend. rights ceased2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence isn't American, not fair.)"

That's an excellent point, Sarah!

Tim is still having trouble getting through to Casanova:

Tim: "Casanova, I just have one question for you: why?"

Casanova: "You think? No, I don't think so."

Tim: "This dress looks like old Donna Karan."

Casanova: "Yes, I like it, too."

Tim: "Why am I here?"

Casanova: "Thank you, Tim."

Peach squeezes her model into a dress that is way too small:

Model: "Aah, my spleen!"

She'll be fine. As they leave the design room, Ivy drops something and has to pick it up:

Tim: "That's a Project Runway first!"

Oh, Tim. Really.

On to the runway, where we finally figure out why the judging is so off this season: Nina can't actually see the runway because the light is shining in her eyes:

Nina: "The glare from Michael's gorgeous bronzed skin is blinding me!"

The top three are Valerie, Michael D., and Michael C.

Michael D. made a top that looked like cardboard and a crushed orange skirt. I was worried that the top would be too much of an imitation of the hat, but it ended up working pretty well. It was interesting and, even though it wasn't great, he probably should have won.

Valerie made a red dress and white jacket that didn't really seem to be inspired by her hat (actually a mask). I guess it was well made, but it shouldn't have been in the top three.

Michael C. made a pretty dress. It was totally boring but I guess it worked with the hat so he won. Congratulations for having one of the least terrible looks this week. Whatever. The real tragedy is that he will have immunity for whatever nightmare he creates next week.

The bottom three are April, Christopher, and Kristin.

April's shorts outfit had some fit problems but was much more interesting than almost anything else on the runway. I don't think she should have even been on the bottom. Fortunately, she's safe.

Christopher's outfit was really bad. The fabric could have been nice, but the silhouette was just awful. The fact that the other designers thought he could win the challenge makes me think they borrowed the judges' crack pipe this week. But he's safe.

Kristin screwed up again. I really like the way she works with draping, but this dress was just messy and the fabric was completely wrong. I was really looking forward to seeing some interesting work from her, but she's out of second chances this week. Sorry Kristin.

Ivy: "I can't believe I wasn't in the top three! Pass the crack pipe!"

10 comments:

ePastor James said...

I don't know who should've won this week, really--Eek! I can't remember nearly anybody's. It's truly a tragedy that nobody switched models, because it was clear from that runway that no model was left alone, so nobody's competition would end right then and there. Silly n00bz.

I didn't mind Michael C.'s dress. It was...very nice. But the most average things somehow scream win to them. How? Did they just come from a Malvin/Ping double fashion show? Insane. Only Andy's win made sense, and even that bugs me because it's a fucking replica of Jay's gorgeous trash bag garment from s7!

I have nothing more to say, except...I liked Gretchen this week for the first time. WTF, editors. Robin Hood chic!

I'mma go read your Top Chef stuff now, as I just saw a marathon!

ePastor James said...

Never mind, you don't have Top Chef stuff. You heathen! After I abandoned last season's suckage, this season's got me hooked.

lovemesomeaj said...

I figured with all the wild hats we were going to see some wild fashion. Instead we got a snoozefest. Come on AJ, your outfit looked downright conservative! At least Mondo still showed a little sense of whimsy.

Love Nina being blinded by Michael's tan! : ) Is that the problem? Is there some sort of fake tan poisoning going on with the judges?

Sewing Siren said...

My word verification is CrAcktaStiC.
I think handkerchief hems look terrible with cocktail hats.
I also thought that Michael C. was in the bottom.
I thought April would be in the top. I liked her design and thought it was one of the more appropriate for the actual hat. She had one of the more tricky ones to design for too.
Most of the designers over did.
None of them have such a strong point of view that they couldn't tame it a bit to suit (ha) the hat.
Of the top three the judges picked I thought the fortune cookie was the best. And I agreed with the auf' for a change.

kittens not kids said...

agreed with the auf, don't understand the love April's getting. I don't think her design was all that fabulous. And her execution was horrifying, which is kind of a HUGE problem.

Except not for Michael C, whose dress looked, to my totally inexpert eye, like a bunch of material strapped to the model with long ribbons. I think I used to dress my Barbies the same way.

These designers SUCKED this week. Those hats were effing amazing, and everyone just stuck with their same shitty models. Who, incidentally, are terrible walkers. I normally can't tell who is a good model or a bad one, but this season they all look like they've never walked on heels or a runway before. Horrible.

You know, looking back at the designs, I don't really LOVE any of them. I liked Christopher's (sans grey skirt/leggings, please). I kinda like AJs. Actually, of them all, I kind of liked Casanova's the best - yes, it was a plain black dress, but I really like the way he gathered and draped the midsection of it, and also, for some of these hats, I just want to see the model wearing something well-made to serve as a backdrop or frame for the Hat.

Also: WHAT THE HELL IS WITH PEACH'S DRESS? That hat is INCREDIBLE. and she picked THAT fabric? and made that shitty little dress? my god.

Was this somehow a "choose your fabric & make a dress blindfolded" challenge, and I just missed that part of the instructions?

Loved Philip Treacy though. Loved his unimpressed-ness with Valerie's blah outfit. Love his accent. LOVE LOVE LOVE his hats.

(I really, really like hats).

Cliff O'Neill said...

Odd. I thought Christopher's dress was definitely in the top. (Though I did not like the styling at all.)

And that tri-panty thing was a nightmarish thing. I would have been happier if they 86'ed both of the bottom two at once.

Lastly, I sense something _really_ fake about that Michael C. And I have to agree with Casanova on one thing: Every girl in Puerto Rico does have that dress of Michael C.'s in her closet.

Ellen said...

Crappy challenge. Though Philip Treacy is quite charming, his hats are atrocious. That being said, most of what was made this week was pretty hideous. I just can't imagine choosing a dress based on an accessory. It's just not right.

I was glad that Gretchen was NOT in the top three. Though it would have been more fun to see her in the bottom three. By episode 6, her head won't fit through the workroom door. The holy trinity of designers, Gretchen, Ivy and Valerie are too opinionated and need to take a more critical look at what they make.

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

I did get one of the Jet Blue passes but....I have a little problem, it didn't come with a All You Can Sleep pass. So mostly I am just seeing relatives. Aren't they lucky? They got the All You Can take of Laura pass.

The Tim/ Casanova conversation was so hysterical. Your the best.

I complimented you so now can I sleep on your couch and visit LA?

Oh well it was worth a try.

eric3000 said...

Thanks for your comments! Loved half the hats and hated the other half. I thought April was one of the few designers who actually accepted the challenge and designed something inspired by her hat, which is why I can excuse the execution problems.

I'm really hoping this next episode will be better than the last. It's a team challenge, though, so I'm not holding my breath.

Laura A., that is so cool that you got the pass! I really spent two days thinking about it and then just let my procrastination make the decision for me.

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

I don't think you missed much. The AYCF pass has given me a headache. It doesn't seem to be such a great deal. Flying starts the 7th ...hmm somehow I missed that.
Since flights in general are dirt cheap right now. It seems like it might have been cheaper for me to just book flights straight out. To fly from Denver to Seattle I have to go back to Boston or NY and fly to the west. ha

I would go to Cost Rica but the flights from here generally very inexpensive anyway and one look at the weather map nixed that idea.

I will keep trying ....after a nap.