Saturday, February 25, 2012

Project Runway All Stars episode eight: Oy vey, can you see?


We start the episode with the designers standing on the lawn of the United Federation of Planets headquarters in New York:

Isaac: "Isn't this inspiring?"

Is it? It just looks like a lawn to me.

Issac: "Yes, but this grass represents the efforts to work together to solve shared problems, such as galactic climate change, tribble over-population, and peace."

Peace is a problem we are trying to solve?

Isaac: "Peace is so boring."

Anyway, why don't you explain this week's completely nonsensical challenge?

Isaac: "It would be my pleasure. This challenge is to create a dress inspired by the colors of a flag, just like Catherine Malandrino did."


I hate to be a contrarian, but that's not so much "inspired" by a flag as it is made out of fabric printed with the image of a flag.

Isaac: "Right. The designers are supposed to be inspired by the colors of their flags. Does that mean they have to use the exact colors? Who knows? Let's wait for the judging to see whether the designers are criticized for using the exact colors or for not using the exact colors. Also, the designers are supposed to be inspired by the people represented by their flags but they can't make anything that looks like the actual clothes worn by those people."

Whuh?

Isaac: "Well, for instance, they shouldn't do this:"


Isaac: "Because that looks too much like a costume. Instead, they should do something like this:"


Isaac: "See? That's an example of how you could take a look worn by real women in Brazil and just update it for a young, modern, sophisticated woman."

So the secret is subtlety?

Isaac: "Now you've got it!"

Anyway, the designers have to make garments inspired by the flags and inhabitants of members of the Federation of Planets:

Austin gets the planet of Betazed.

Austin: "It's very feminine and soft and you can tell the woman who wears this is very emotional and loves chocolate."


That neckline is so NOT regulation!

Jerell gets the Vulcan empire. He loves how ethnic and Vulcany they are:


As usual, Jerell needs a little editing.

Kenley gets the Borg:


Hot, but not the right Borg. Let's try that again:


OK, again, it's totally cute, but she makes the same thing for every challenge.

Kenley: "That's what I wear every day and I only design for myself. Resistance is futile."

Mondo gets the Ferengi Alliance:


It's a surprising use of color. The judges love it. Mondo wins! Congratulations, Mondo! And Joanna appreciates that the model can wear a bra. You know what they say about women with big ears.

Michael just doesn't get it:


WRONG!!!!!

Michael: "What? My model looks so sexy, she's making me question my pon farr!"

Oh, shut up.

Mila gets the Klingon Empire. She loves how tribal-looking and independent they are:


Isaac: "It reminds me of communism. She's just hard to look at."


Well, that's rude. I think she's lovely. Anyway, Mila is out and Isaac feels the wrath of the Klingon bat'leth:

Isaac: "Aaaah, my spleen!"

8 comments:

Cliff O'Neill said...

Milan wiz robbed, I say. I actually had her in he running for the win. Also, why didn't anyone call out Isaac for consistently mispronouncing Papua?

Catherine said...

I love Kenley's dress. Why didn't she win? I can't believe Mondo won for what was essentially a very long, very tight black knit shirt. The ONLY thing interesting about it was the back - and oh, by the way, they hated that part. Ridiculous. Kenley's dress was cute and fresh and really spoke to the stupid challenge, managing miraculously to make something adorable out of it; the judges even admitted the appeal of her dress...and she didn't win. What's up with that?

Mila's dress was hid.ee.ous. I am very glad you chose your Star Trek theme, because I have no idea on what planet any woman would wear a schizophrenic dress like Mila's, or a Halloween party costume like Jerrell's, or a dress that exposes your butt AND your back AND your side boob like Michael's, or that awful scarfy-dress of Austin's.

Sorry to grump. I really do enjoy your column!

Anonymous said...

Actually the headquarters to the United Federation of Planets is in San Francisco. Hmmm fitting.

Anonymous said...

Eric you are a genius and I nominate you for President of the Federation...

lovemesomerami said...

I had Mila and Mondo as the top contenders, so of course Mila goes home instead of ticky tacky Jerell! Whatevs . . .

Anyway, thanks for the Star Trek humor!

SamiJ said...

So nice to reference Mila's current job (costume designer on latest Star Trek). But what is up with the crazy faces Angela makes when she introduces the challenges? It looks like her neck is trying to eat her face.

eric3000 said...

SamiJ, Isn't that a weird coincidence? I learned about Mila's new job after I wrote this post. It's also funny that her dress would totally work in an episode of The Next Generation.

Thanks for your comments, everyone!

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