Saturday, February 18, 2012

Project Runway All Stars Episode Seven: Jesus Christ Superstar, it's a musical!

First, I have to tell you that I just watched Godspell on Youtube, so don't ever say I haven't suffered for my art. I was not feeling this episode, so I apologize for this pathetic post.

The story: a bunch of overly-dramatic hippies wander the city of New York making outfits out of garbage. But enough about Project Runway All Stars, let's get to the Godspell challenge:

The Parable of the Challenge that Made no Sense:
Therefore whosoever heareth this challenge and understand it, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock, because, frankly, I don't get it at all. The designers are told to make an outfit for a rich bitch who both hoards her money and also spends it conspicuously at the same time. But the character isn't even rich; it's actually a poor woman who sings one song where she puts on a feather boa and talks like Mae West to dramatise the fact that you shouldn't worship money. So the costume is really supposed to be made up of props that poor people would find in the trash and use to pretend to be rich. Like maybe a ratty fur coat or a tiara made out of tinfoil.

Anyway, the challenge starts with the designers dancing around in a fountain in Central Park while Austin does Kenley's hair and then someone gets baptised and they go to a junk yard to pick out fabric.

Joanna comes in and tells them that it is easier for a camel to enter the kingdom of heaven than for these designers to figure out how to thread a needle. Or something like that.

Then Kenley has her first musical number:

Kenley: "I feel pretty and witty and gay! And I pity anyone who isn't me today!"

Mila: "That is the wrong musical, Kenley. You are so annoying."

And now the parable of the designer who has no friends:

Mila: "Hey! I have friends! I just don't flaunt it, like some people."

Then Austin gets all pissed off at Jerell for stealing his sewing machine:

Austin: "It's like I've been slapped in the face!"

Jerell: "Austin, you should turn the other cheek."

Austin: "Oh, alright."

Jerell slaps him on the other cheek. Then they have a laugh and hug it out.

Time for the runway:

The Parable of the Wise and Foolish Designers:
Then shall the Kingdom of Project Runway be likened unto seven designers, which took their garments and went forth to meet the judges. And verily I say unto you, three of those designers didst maketh garments that sucketh, and three of those designers didst maketh garments that didst not totally sucketh, and Jerell was in the middle.

Austin and Mondo are the top two:

The Parable of the Prodigal Designer:
So there was this rich guy and he had two sons, Mondo and Austin, and they both got their inheritance of some money and two days to make an outfit. Mondo freaked out and wasted all his time crying about not being able to make anything, while Austin worked steadily on his Marie Antoinette costume. Finally, when Mondo couldn't go on any longer, he made something and sent it down the runway. And his father was so happy about it, he slaughtered a fattened calf and made him the winner of the challenge. And Austin said unto his father, "This blows." And his father said unto him that he had lost a son and now he is returned and they should rejoice. And Austin said, "OK, I'll turn the other cheek." And then Jerell slapped him again.

Kara and Mila are the bottom two designers:

The Parable of the Designer Taken in Adultery:
So there was this grumpy designer named Mila who tried to make an outfit for a rich woman but accidentally made an outfit for a hooker. And the other designers arrested her for adultery because they didn't really know what that meant and then Isaac said unto them, "Let the designer who has not made a garment for a hooker cast the first stone." And the designers saw that he was right and Mila was saved.

So, after a last supper, Kara dies for our sins. Sorry Kara. Even though I didn't like her garments this season, I still thought crucifying her on a chain link fence was a little harsh. Maybe she will be resurrected for another Project Runway series.


emily said...

Oh my - I've never posted a comment before, but I do love and look forward to all of your recaps. And I believe this is one of my favorite recaps ever. Pathetic post, no, I heartily disagree.

lovemesomerami said...

"Joanna comes in and tells them that it is easier for a camel to enter the kingdom of heaven than for these designers to figure out how to thread a needle. Or something like that."

Yes, exactly. Quite. Love the post, love the musical, love musicals in general. Love Mondo's frock as it is in the spirit of the show in question, and didn't like much else.

Longing for Rami's drapery . . .

Tina said...

Your recap was better the episode. Not that that was hard! Snap! Still, maybe I should just read your recaps instead of watching the all-star snooze fest. I also appreciate your explanation of Godspell and the character they were designing for, b/c I was beyond puzzled by how Mondo's look fit the description provided by the creator and the actress (and I still think it might be a bit too soft and diaphanous for the character/situation you've described).

Cliff O'Neill said...

How you can come up with such a brilliant post from such a snooze-y episode escapes me.

eric3000 said...

Thanks, everyone! I really appreciate the comments. I almost gave up this week. Just like Mondo! Ha ha! So I'm glad I pushed through and that you enjoyed it.

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