"Congratulations on buying the most stolen car on the planet!"
OK, so I started on Saturday with the mission of buying any car that comes in orange. Actually, I had decided on the specific car: the Honda Fit. I didn't know much about it because it is brand new for 2007 and Consumer Reports hasn't reviewed it yet. But what do I care? It comes in orange. There's really only one problem with the Honda Fit: while Honda spent lots of money on an advertising campaign, they apparently forgot to produce any cars. Here's a dramatization of my encounter at the Honda Dealer:
Me: I'm interested in the Honda Fit.
Dealer: Well, good luck with that.
Me: No, seriously.
Dealer: No one can get them. Occasionally a dealer can get hold of one but they get marked up so much you're better off buying a more expensive car. What color were you interested in.
Me: Flame Orange.
Dealer: Are you high? You'd have to be on a waiting list until the apocalypse to get that color.
So, that may not really be that long off but I couldn't wait; I needed a new car, like, yesterday (literally yesterday).
By yesterday my old Thunderbird no longer had brake lights and I was a little desperate to unload it. My requirements had dropped from "cool, powerful, safe, inexpensive, orange car" to "car."
I spent a little more than I wanted but ended up with a much better car than I thought I could get. I got a 2007 Honda Civic coupe. I call it my car from the future because, see, it's not even 2007 yet. Ooooh, freaky, right?! How can I have a car from next year?
Anyway, it's a really cute car; it looks great (though I had to settle for black), it's comfortable, it has every safety feature, and it feels as powerful as my 8 cylinder because it's smaller.
And, of course, it is the most stolen car on the planet! Because having your car stolen really is the sincerest form of flattery. It makes much more of a dramatic statement than the tired old, "your car is really nice."
And I'm still house-sitting at the house of the dead possums, which is not in the best neighborhood. So I'm looking forward to the week being over, when I can park back at home in Toluca Lake, better known as "The Beverly Hills of the San Fernando Valley."