Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Blogging Top Chef: why the hell not.

OK, time to start my Top Chef blog.

"Try not to sound too excited, Eric."

Well, it's just a little hard because we don't really know the participants yet. And there are so many of them! So many that Bravo didn't even bother introducing all of them. We seemed to only get the little profiles for about half of them. Maybe I'm wrong, but we were watching and going, "hey, who's that?" I'll try to describe the few I can remember:

So there's a really annoying young guy who thinks he's really hot shit named Stephen ... oh, I mean Marcel. Everyone instantly hates him and wants him off the show. He'll tell you it's because he's so talented but it's really just because he's a jackass.

Suyai is just like Cynthia from season one: sweet and funny and self-deprecating and ... a complete disaster in the kitchen! Buh-bye.

Marisa has a great ass. Apparently she thinks this is going to help her win on a cooking show. Whatever distracts me from her face. Kidding!

OK, there's a new host. I don't know what was wrong with the old host but whatever. At least Tom is still there. Complaining about everything. That's why we love him.

First of all, did I stay up and watch the premier of season two at eleven o'clock?

Bitch, please! I'm not watching television until midnight!

On to the Tivo'd episode:

For the quickfire challenge the chefs get to set things on fire. Elia screws up and tries burning grape juice. Even I knew that wouldn't work. Harold is wearing flip-flops in the kitchen. I realize he isn't cooking but that still seems strange to me.

So, for the elimination challenge the contestants are divided into two groups according to race: the black team and the ... orange team ... oh, sorry it's not race; it's just the color on the knives. OK, good; I thought I was watching Survivor for a second.

One group has to make something with processed American cheese and the other group has to make something with frogs legs. Tom complains that everyone is frying the frogs legs like chicken. Seriously, why didn't anyone think of making a desert?

The winner is Ilan. Mia of the Sunday-dinner-at-grandma's thought she was going to win. Girlfriend is not happy.

Suyai has to pack up her knives and go.

Tune in next week when all the chefs threaten to kill each other. Doesn't that look like fun? I didn't think so either. It's enough drama to really make me not want to watch. But I will. And hopefully I'll have something more interesting to say once I start caring about some of these people.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Eric,
I love your work and mean it. I have never posted before but you are a funny guy. Here is a shoutout from browsers like us.
You POV inspires me to be funny but I know I failed miserably.
Check out the Nina baby naming contest at BPR. I posted a lot of them.
I think I am not following the etiquette of blogging cos I just don't know what they are. But I am a fast learner.
Please let me know when to start watching Top Chef. Believe I will enjoy it more by watching the marathon.
loveyameanit.

goprg

eric3000 said...

Thanks, goprg, it's nice to know people are reading. If you are interested in Top Chef, make sure you check out Blogging Top Chef and Top Chef 2: They Cook We Dish. Both have links from BPR. (I have to get those links up on my site)

Anonymous said...

Eric,
Why I thoroughly enjoy my visit with you. This is the analog.

Visiting here is like enjoying a good book oustide a café in a small beautiful village in Germany. Peaceful, restful, amazing architecture, historic and magical. Funny helps too.

Then, there is the Octoberfest.

German: Now that you are in Germany, what do you want to do next?
Visitor: I want to experience Octoberfest?
German: WTF. You mean you want to see a bunch of drunken a..Americans getting vasted? We would never be caught dead there. Do you know it is October now?
Visitor: Precisely, Octoberfest.
German: Yes, dear, Octobfest is actually in Sep. If you are lucky, maybe Oct 1-2.
Visitor: Bye, seeya.

And at Octoberfest, visitor gets a rude awakening. Yeah! A bunch of rowdy visitors clamoring for attention and not much else. Too one-note.

There, I said it. Loveyameanit.

Anonymous said...

Eric,
Don't get me wrong. It has nothing to do with Americans. It is about someone creating something so successful and has too many visitors. And now they don't welcome the visitors. I just don't get it.
The Blogging world leaves me perplexed.

Anonymous said...

back on topic...I watched the first two episodes and was hoping I'd like it...I like your funny comments, especially the frog leg desert (dessert?). Keep on posting!! I'm sure i'm not the only one who enjoys your blog!

eric3000 said...

I didn't watch the second episode last night. I just don't feel like staying up that late. I did it with Project Runway but I'm just not dedicated enough with Top Chef. But I have it on Tivo and will watch it soon and post.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Eric! I just found your blog. I keep seeing your name on the blogs I'm commenting on!

I'm still waiting for the chemistry to start working on Top Chef.

Otto had personality. He nobly stepped off, but I would love to have seen him stay around longer.

eric3000 said...

Welcome, Ms. Place!

I'll try to get a recap up soon. Yeah, I'm hoping after a few episodes we'll start to care about these people.