Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Project Runway Season Five, episode ten: Working girls!

Heidi: "Tim, I just saw a photograph of myself and I noticed that my skirt is really short! Why didn't anyone say anything?!"

Tim: [sigh]

Last week two or three people were out and somebody won. This week Kenley has a strategy:

Kenley: "Last week I was at the bottom so this week I'm not going to do anything any differently!"

It's so crazy it just might work!

We are introduced to some special ladies:

Heidi: "And by 'special' we mean 'plus sized.'"

But it turns out the designers will not be creating garments for these ladies. They will be creating new looks for the ladies' special daughters:

Heidi: "And by 'special' we mean 'hot tranny messes.'"

So, the designers will be doing makeovers for these very special college graduates:

Heidi: "And by 'special' we mean 'community college.'"

Oh, stop that! Anyway, the designers get half an hour to argue with the mothers and then $100 at Mood, which isn't much.

The designers meet their clients:

Kenley's client: "Yay, I get the pretty designer!"

Kenley: "I know, right? We are going to make a great team! I am so pretty and you're, um, well, I like your blouse."

Pleather's client wants pants so Pleather decides to make pants.

Pleather realizes he can't make pants.

Pleather pretends that pants were a terrible idea in the first place.

Pleather: "Pleather found this amazing Pucci-esque fabric in purple and he doesn't want to ruin it by making a garment that in any way fits the needs of his client."

We learn that Korto is a DILF:

Tim: "That's a designer I'd like to . . ."

Tim, please! But really, I don't think I knew Korto was a mama:

Korto: "Well, I don't go around bragging about it all the time just to prove I'm straight."

In the design room, Tim is trying to politely help Kenley:

Tim: "Now, I'm not telling you what to do, but I'm just saying you could make the tulle the same length as the skirt and that would work, too. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it now. God forbid, I should criticize you. I'm just saying."

Kenley: "Do I look like I'm interested in anyone's opinion?

Tim: "OK, then. Thank you for your time, dumb-ass."

Tim gives his final advice to the designers:

Tim: "Please remember to borrow randomly from the Bluefly wall."

Designers: "We always do!"

On to the runway with Michael, Nina, and Cynthia Rowley:

Heidi: "Designers, one day you're in and the next you are wearing a frisbee made out of black feathers on your head."

Seriously, Jerell, what is up with that?

Joe makes a pinstriped power suit for his client to go on job interviews. Oh, did I mention that the jacket has no collar or lapels? Yeah, that's right. Oh, my god, that is tacky. Inexcusable. Uh, Joe, the Golden Girls called and they want their suit back. Joe is gone.

Pleather created a completely inappropriate outfit for his photographer client to wear to photo shoots. It's a pretty dress with a ridiculous jacket. What does Nina think?

Nina: "You know what? I don't get paid enough to comment on this outfit. In fact, I don't know what I've done wrong in my life that I would even be forced to look at it. That's all I have to say. I'm done."

Korto, as usual, makes a very good, non-winning entry. The green print dress is pretty and the jacket is very cool and looks really beautifully made.

Kenley's outfit is very nice. She picked a nice print, for a change, the poofy skirt is cute without being inappropriate for daywear, the little vest keeps it from looking too dressy. Oh yeah, and she listened to Tim and shortened the tulle. It's very nice. I have a little problem with the flesh-colored belt because, from a distance, it looks like the girl's midriff is showing. But, otherwise, I like it.

Leanne is safe. Her dress is cute but the jacket is poorly proportioned. Very unflattering. The girl's mother told her to make a dress because that makes it easier to get dressed in the morning. Because, apparently, putting on pants and a blouse is really time-consuming. But I think most teachers of children will tell you that dresses are really inconvenient for the classroom.

Jerell's client finally feels like a girl! She told him she wanted something androgynous so she could wear it after her upcoming sex-change operation. But he made her a beautiful dress and now she feels so pretty she's decided to remain female. OK, seriously, she wanted to dress like a boy but he made her something sleek and feminine but not too girly and she looks like she's really happy with her new look. I think she just didn't realize that she's pretty.

Jerell wins and will have his design in Elle Magazine. Kenley is just as pleased as punch for him:

Kenley: "I am going to strangle each and every one of you."

12 comments:

wildflower38 said...

Kenley's a bitch. I hope when she loses the other designers all laugh at her.

lovemesomedaniel said...

Ah, Mean Girl. You will get your come-uppance soon enough. I think Tim's had just about enough of you (along with the rest of us)!

shirlsd said...

great recap! looking forward to next episodes recap!!! (thanks for the chuckles!)

Polgarra said...

Wasn't Korto's jacket great. I saw the fabric and was like Ick but then she pulled it together /bliss

cupcake said...

You made a gray, rainy day easier to live with, spot on, as always!

Dodi said...

Best recap of the week!

Cliff O'Neill said...

So, is Kenley becoming the female Vincent, only substituting an annoying giggle for all the talk about stuff that "turns him on"?

Also ...

"Heidi: "Designers, one day you're in and the next you are wearing a frisbee made out of black feathers on your head.""

Abso-freakin'-lutely.

Love you. Need to stalk you.

Anonymous said...

I think your quotes are hilarious, but if I didn't want the episode, I'd think some of things in there, they actually said. Otherwise, they're funny. I like Kenly and Suede though! They both talk to me a lot on myspace. They're super friendly. Kenley told me how to make pieces for my hair and suede just chatted me up. Blayne's always off tanning though. He's a bummer.
:( Thanks for the funny thing to look at today.

GS

Anonymous said...

I think your quotes are hilarious, but if I didn't want the episode, I'd think some of things in there, they actually said. Otherwise, they're funny. I like Kenly and Suede though! They both talk to me a lot on myspace. They're super friendly. Kenley told me how to make pieces for my hair and suede just chatted me up. Blayne's always off tanning though. He's a bummer.
:( Thanks for the funny thing to look at today.

GS

Anonymous said...

Eric you are amazingly funny and I love you and your recaps.

eric3000 said...

Thanks for the comments, everyone!

Yeah, Polgarra, I was also worried about Korto's fabric choice but the jacket turned out great!

And yes, GS, my "recaps" are really intended for people who actually watch the episodes. I used to include a disclaimer stating that I was making most of it up but I just got tired of doing that. I really think most people can figure out that it's a parody of the show.

And I'm sure Kenley and Suede are very nice. I'm just teasing all of them. I don't dislike any of the designers. Except for Daniel Franco, of course. He's the devil.

Thanks for reading!

theminx said...

So what do you think of Ricky Schroder's wife in Daniel Franco at the Emmys? Ick. I meant to say "in a Daniel Franco design...."

Your recaps are so surreal. Or should that be avant-garde? :)