Heidi: "Tim, is my skirt too short?"
Tim: "Not now. Pleather is telling a story."
Heidi: "Oh. Who's dead now?"
Pleather: "This week I would like to talk about my great great great great grandfather. He's dead. He died in the nineteenth century and I've never quite gotten over it. There's this huge void in my soul. So, this morning I was just thinking what an inspiration he would have been for this challenge if he had ever actually seen a movie or traveled anywhere and then, there he was, right here in the design room! I thought I was having a waking dream but then everyone started screaming and running around and that's when I noticed that my great great great great grandfather was almost completely decomposed, with just some shredded clothing hanging off his skeleton. And I was all, 'will you people please have a little respect for my dead great great great great grandfather?' I mean, he came here just to inspire me and everyone is being so rude and freaking out just because he's some sort of flesh-eating zombie. Oh, did I forget to mention the flesh-eating zombie part? Yeah, he was all, 'brains! I have to have brains!' and everyone was screaming and pushing dress forms in front of him and then dear sweet little Blayne, bless his heart, bravely stood in his way and said, 'take me and leave everyone else alone!' and then my great great great great grandfather said, 'get out of my way! I'm looking for brains!' and then everyone had a good laugh. Anyhoo, long story short, we're the only survivors of a horrible post-apocalyptic epidemic that has turned the population of Manhattan into flesh-eating zombies and we're trapped here in the design room of Parsons The New School for Design. Please send help."
Those designers are so dramatic. "Ooh, we're so tired; Ooh, the sewing machines aren't working; Ooh, we're being attacked by flesh-eating zombies." What a bunch of whiners.
Let's get to the show. We start the episode with Stella trying to survive in the real world:
Stella: "Can someone tell me how coffee works?"
That's the toaster, Stella.
Pleather has to move apartments:
Pleather: "I hope my visions will be able to find me at my new address."
Tim tells the designers that they will be meeting a fashion legend:
Blayne: "Please be Mary-Kate Olsen!"
Tim: "I really just want to slap you right now."
Diane von Furstenberg is walking down a ridiculously long staircase:
Tim: "It's Diane von Furstenberg, bitches!"
Dianne is still walking down the stairs:
Tim: "Yeah . . . um . . . here comes Diane von Furstenberg! You are so lucky you get to meet her!"
OK. Just a few more flights of stairs:
Tim: "You are going to be so excited when she gets here!"
Oh, she is so close now:
Tim: "Seriously? You're killing me, Diane."
Diane: "I'll be there soon, darlings! Start without me."
So, the challenge is to create a look for the DVF fall collection based on the film "A Foreign Affair" with Marlena Dietrich. The winner of this challenge will have his or her design sold exclusively to American Express members, with a part of the proceeds going to the DVF Dramatic Staircase Foundation:
Diane: "I believe passionately that every woman deserves a dramatic staircase!"
Stella can't use the fabric room:
Stella: "Can someone tell me what to do with this bolt of fabric?"
That's still the toaster, Stella.
Stella is being secretive because obviously everyone wants to steal her ideas.
Leanne is pretending to be a spy:
Leanne: "I'm the silent fashion assassin."
Are you sure? I thought that was Jennifer.
Leanne: "Really? You're probably right. I always get us confused."
Tim gives the designers final words of advice before the runway show:
Tim: "Remember to borrow superfluously from the Bluefly wall."
The judges this week are Michael Kors, Fern Mallis, DVF, and Mike Huckabee:
Joe made a really hideous outfit combining a backless salmon-colored top with a fuchsia sash. I don't even think Kenley would combine those colors:
Mike Huckabee: "That is tackier than a costume change at a Madonna concert"
Michael Kors: "Whatever you're paying your speechwriter, Mike, it's too much."
Leanne made a beautiful long blue dress with a decent jacket. It's the obvious winner.
Terri made a pant with a black coat. So what if she always makes pants? It's a nice outfit.
Jerell made a short skirt with a jacket. The jacket is fine but that miniskirt is stupid.
Korto made a beautiful print dress with yellow trim and a cute short jacket. While it isn't as amazing as her usual efforts, it is still beautiful and definitely a contender for the win. I think the only problem is that it doesn't look as inspired by the movie as Leanne's does.
Blayne made a very nice jacket and bizarre puffy shorts. At least it looks well made this week.
Pleather made one of the ugliest dresses I've ever seen. It was just a horrible silhouette. And then, as if it weren't bad enough, he paired it with a short vest that made no sense. This was very close to being the worst.
Stella made an ill-fitting pant, a badly made vest, and a strange Dracula cape. While it was pretty bad, I did not think it was as hideous as Joe's or Pleather's.
Kenley made a pretty print dress. She finally picked a really cute print. But that's not much of an accomplishment since she picked it from DVF-approved fabrics. It was very well fitted and I'm sure it was well made but that doesn't change the fact that there was no design there. It was an incredibly basic sheath. It wasn't bad enough to be out but it should have been near the bottom, not the top. For some reason, DVF thought it was amazing:
Kenley: "I thought your collection needed a simple dress."
Diane: "Thank you for telling me what my collection needed."
Kenley: "Well, there's no need to be sarcastic."
Diane: "No, I'm serious. I don't know why I didn't think of adding a totally boring little dress to my collection."Leanne wins again! I think this was the right decision. Congratulations, Leanne! Can she maintain this momentum? Computer says no.
Stella is out. Sorry Stella. I think this was the wrong decision. While her pieces had major construction problems, it was a much better look than Joe or Pleather created. I suspect the judges subconsciously took past challenges into account in this decision.
Stella doesn't care if you buy her clothes:
Stella: "You can all blow me."
Next week the designers see something cute:
Could it be a puppy? You'll have to wait and see!