Friday, October 16, 2009

Project Runway, Season Six, Episode Nine: Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs.

This was a pretty boring episode. Other than the fact that Carol Hannah and Logan got married and had a baby, nothing happened.

Last week Christopher created a big silver balloon that reportedly floated away carrying a six-year-old boy but then it turned out the child was hiding in the attic the entire time. Christopher is safe.

We start this episode with some comments from the remaining designers. We learn that Christopher is just here to go to Fashion Week. It's refreshing that he at least realizes he's not going to win.

Carol Hannah doesn't think she is in the middle of the pack:

Carol Hannah: "Just because I haven't won any challenges and I haven't been at the bottom for any challenges doesn't mean I'm in the middle of the pack."

Actually, I think that's exactly what that means.

Heidi: "For this challenge, if you really want to shine, you look my outage to rast.

WHAT?!

Heidi: "I said your look must upstage the rest."

Wow, I had to listen to that six times to figure out what she said.

Then I thought she said the designers were meeting Tim for dinner but apparently I didn't hear that right, either. Instead, they meet Bob Mackie, which is nice but isn't as satisfying as a good meal. Nicolas faints because Bob Mackie is his idol. Also he probably needs to eat something. I'm just saying.

The designers have to create an extravagant stage look in the spirit of Bob Mackie for Christina Aguilera. They have $300 and two days.

Nicolas is so excited because he finally has the opportunity to make something really tacky and get away with it.

Christopher says he's creating an 80s prom dress with skulls, which would be fine if he actually did that. But he doesn't. Instead, he makes an ice skating Halloween costume. Whatever that is.

Gordana is either unravelled because her dress is frazzling or she is frazzled because her dress is unravelling. Either way, it's not good. She basically gives up on this challenge. Obviously, having immunity does not bring out her best work.

Tim thinks Nicolas has copied his winning ice queen dress:

Tim: "Nicolas, is this the dress? I thought you had pulled your old dress over here, even though I can see it over there. I'm so confused! Am I losing my mind?"

Yes. The dresses look nothing alike, other than the fact that they are both white. Also, the judges wouldn't recognize it, anyway, because they aren't the same judges.

Carol Hannah is going for the wow factor with a black dress in a simple silhouette. She's obviously going home.

Tim talks to Shirin:

Tim: "Shirin, I associate you with sophistication and excellence."

Shirin: "Really?"

Tim: "No, I'm joking. But seriously, even for you, this dress is crap."

Shirin: "Do I need to scrap it?"

Tim: "I'm not saying I think you should scrap it. I'm saying I think you should burn it."

Tim warns the designers:

Tim: "Work like there is no tomorrow. Because I passed out and had a vision of the future and one of you is not in it. I'm not saying that one of you will definitely be dead. But it's a possibility."

Irina says that Shirin is not even a designer. What the hell is Irina's problem?

Nicolas: "Let me explain what Irina's problem is. She's a bitch."

Thanks for clearing that up, Nicolas!

This week Nina is back, Christina Aguilera is the guest judge, and Bob Mackie is filling in for Michael, as well as serving as a second guest judge, since the challenge relates to both him and Christina. I think that's another Project Runway first, ladies and gentlemen. A boring first, but a first, nonetheless.

Althea made a long sequined gown with a train. It's pretty. Christina could wear it if she's singing a slow number next to a grand piano. Bob Mackie thinks it's clever that she used the reversed sequin fabric for the pattern. I think having sequins facing in would be painful, even with a lining.

Logan made a sequined animal print dress with a big fur collar. Christina thinks it looks like something a cavewoman would wear if she had a gay caveman stylist and access to a magical forest full of gay sequined animals. It's pretty bad.

Shirin made a black gown with glittery ruffled inserts on the skirt. To her credit, it's better than it was earlier. But it's still godawful.

Christopher made a removable bubble skirt over glittery panties. I don't mind the hotpants but I agree with the judges that the corset looks terrible. Christina thinks it's a fun look and gives him an F for effort or an A for agony, or something like that.

Nicolas made a short white skirt with feathers. It looks a little like an ice skating costume but it's pretty and well made.

Gordana made a cream-colored sequined sack of human misery.

Irina made a coat that we didn't really get to see and paired it with an ugly black dress that wouldn't even show up on stage. She was lucky that there were worse looks this week because this was pretty bad.

Carol Hannah made a long black dress with sequins and feathers. Black is not the most eye-catching thing to wear on stage but she made it work with the feathers, which catch the light and make a beautiful, subtle pattern.

The top two are Carol Hannah and Nicolas and Carol Hannah wins! Congratulations!

The bottom two are Shirin and Christopher. Gordana probably would have been out but she has immunity this week.

The judges think Shirin made a Halloween witch costume:

Heidi: "But an upscale Halloween witch costume."

Yeah, that sounds so much better.

Nina: "Shirin, I think you are really talented."

What are you basing that on, Nina? You've missed almost the entire season.

Nina: "Good point."

Shirin is out.

14 comments:

watch me boogie said...

"Last week Christopher created a big silver balloon that reportedly floated away carrying a six-year-old boy but then it turned out the child was hiding in the attic the entire time."
------

Haaa! Awesome.

Andrea said...

"What are you basing that on, Nina? You've missed almost the entire season."

YES I think that is one of the problems with this season.

Sewing Siren said...

Right now I am working on a big silver balloon that will carry children far far away. I will not call the news media when this event takes place.

~~~~~~~~~
Carol Hannah and Nicolas had the only decent entries. I could see Christina wearing either or even both (different songs) at the same performance.
Most of the others were sad or lame. Gordana's was the worst, though.

ePastor James said...

"Gordana made a cream-colored sequined sack of human misery."

ROFLCOPTER. Best quote of the week. For any TV show, movie, etc.. It made me laugh as much as Nicolas calling Irina a bitch, but pwns that quote as yours has bonus points for wit and afterlulz.

----

Anyway, I adore this blog. I've been hesitant about reading recaps, fearing addiction, but this is a welcome anti-drug. I'm off to catch up on past weeks now and bookmark it as my favorite go-to blog for future (er, final 4-5 episodes).

The only thing this entry could've used more of was an expansion on Irina being a hag. I hope she turns into the Kenley of this season...except gets Jerell'd in the end. See you next Thursday, bitch!

----

Top 3 (agree w/ judges): Althea*, Carol Hannah, Nicolas (I'm stunned, too)

I'm so happy Carol Hannah FINALLY won. Dark horse? Quite probable. She should've won Ep.4 over Althea; and Althea should've won over Irina in Ep.5 instead. Althea or CH win for me this episode--edge to Althea at the moment for the stage factor. CH still earned this though <3.

Bottom 5 (because they all deserve to be here, in reverse suckage): Irina/Logan (can't decide, so they tie for middle spot), Christopher (skanky, but suitable), Shirin (ghastly, but...), Gordana^ (I root for the underdog and am glad she won last week, but this was just phoned-in and blah)

Excited for next week and more Irina cuntery.

ePastor James said...

Just Remembered: After Gordana's win last week, Shirin hugged her and said "I'm sooo happy for you!"

Heh....

....Yes, I did this just 'cause I forgot to subscribe to the comments.

eric3000 said...

Welcome, new readers and commentors!

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

It was a dull episode.

Thank goodness you sparkle it up.

Hah Sewing Siren.

I am very dull myself today. Great recap

suzq said...

Your recaps are like the headdress on Cher's Oscar outfit.

This episode, however, was Tilda Swinton's hefty bag dress.

I'm still peeved that none of the designers made headdresses.

No half-breed moments this week.

Cliff O'Neill said...

Thanks for noticing the obvious thing I noticed and Tim didn't: that the judges for that earlier (trainwreck) judging aren't these judges.

I feel so bad about Shirin. I loved her.

Though I needed a series of uppers to make it through this entire episode.

lovemesomelogan said...

Nobody wowed it this week. Bob freakin Mackie and this was all they could pull out? I'm bored. And worse, Nina is bored! Thank God she's back. Maybe it will quiet Heidi down for awhile.

I'm so glad Logan is pretty. That boy needs to really step it up, though. In terms of designing, I mean. Of course, his tactic could be to distract the other contestants until they fall one by one. That and distracting the judges could result in a win! The only problem is that I don't think Irina can be distracted. She's scary!

Tina said...

Response to e-Pastor: It's not looking to me like Irina is going to get "Jerell'd" by anyone this season. (In fact, it doesn't look to me like she will be "Leanne'd" either.) I'd put my money on the Bitch going all the way, and, I for one, don't mind. Indeed, Irina's bitchiness has been one of the sole sources of entertainment this season. Otherwise, I'd be overwhelmed by boredom. (Just think how much better the "Reunion" show will be. They can have a montage of Irina talking smack about the other designers!!)

ePastor James said...

As long as she doesn't "Leanne", I'm fine with her making the Finale and being the runner-up, and giving the death stare to whomever. (Even better if it's Carol Hannah!) It's less about her personality though--most of her designs are completely uninspiring, drab frocks. Use some color, or find some personality. One or the other, pleassssssssse.

kittens not kids said...

how come so many people made ice-skating costumes? that's all i could think of for Irina's and Nicolas's, and kind of Christopher's. and why didn't anyone say "ice-skating costume" to Nicolas? or Irina? i don't get it. I don't think any of these were so freaking fab. Carol Hannah's maybe, and Althea's, maybe, but the rest was blah blah blah.

also, you allude to "a magical forest full of gay sequined animals." I would like to relocate to such a place, immediately.

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