Sunday, October 25, 2009

Project Runway, Season Six, Episode Ten: The Constipation Challenge!

Michael Kors: "I've been constipated in glamorous locations all over the world! And that's what this challenge is all about: finding new ways to block you up creatively!"

Last week Carol Hannah won and Shirin was out. We are down to the final seven designers so it's time to start acting like this is a significant change from having eight designers:

Carol Hannah: "Now that we are down to seven, it's like the wolves are circling the sheep. But I don't know which of us are wolves and which are sheep. Maybe it's more like the boy who cried wolf? No, no, it's like a wolf is sheep's clothing. Except sheep don't wear clothing so I've never understood that saying. What was I talking about?"

Christopher: "Now that we are down to seven, I think I'm the underdog. With my complete lack of discernible talent, it's pretty exciting to still be here!"

Heidi: "Are you ready for your next challenge? Tim will take you to Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills to meet a top designer who is known worldwide!"

Althea: "The possibilities are endless! So let's waste time discussing all of them!"

Christopher: "Rodeo Drive! There is so much wealth and power on one street! you won't find these upscale stores at a mall. Unless you go to an upscale mall."

Tim introduces Michael Kors:

Tim: "I'd like to welcome a familiar face! Where have you seen this face before, you ask? Well, you can see it on most of the old ladies in Beverly Hills who have had too much plastic surgery and spent too much time in the sun. I'm just kidding! I tease because I love!"

Michael Kors: "I am so inspired by my amazing jet-setting lifestyle that none of you will ever have!"

We are treated to a montage sequence of Michael Kors snowboarding in Aspen, wearing a speedo in St. Tropez, and of course, bungee jumping with Nancy Reagan in Dubai.

So the designers have to pick a location to be inspired by. I'm pretty sure that's not how inspiration works.

Carol Hannah decides to be inspired by Palm Beach.
Nicolas decides that he will somehow be inspired by Greece.
Althea is totally psyched to get all inspired by St. Tropez.
Gordana is going to be inspired as hell by New York.
Irina decides to be inspired by Aspen.
Christopher thinks he is going to be inspired by Santa Fe.
Logan is going to be inspired by Hollywood even if it kills him.

It's another stupid one day challenge and they get $150 for materials.

Irina buys some fake dead animals and Gordana buys some fake jewelry, because nothing says Park Avenue like rhinestones.

Back in the design room, Irina is very concerned that someone somewhere might be having a good time:

Irina: "Ugh. Everywhere I go, there are people laughing and enjoying themselves. It makes me sick."

Tim likes Althea's menswear look but he reminds her that it isn't actually menswear because no man would wear a chiffon dress shirt. Meanwhile, you can tell he's dying to try it on.

Christopher is well on his way to making another complete disaster.

Nicolas says he's doing something different but to me it looks like pants and a top.

Nicolas: "Well, someone could definitely wear this in Greece. Ooooh, I'm so creatively constipated!"

Irina consults Tim:

Irina: "Tim, what are you going to do about the fact that I'm the only talented one here?"

Tim: "Why are you like this?"

Michael and Nina are both back this week! Yay! And they are joined by world-famous fashion designer Milla Jovovich. Oh, yeah, you heard me. She's a fashion designer. Deal with it.

Logan made another perfectly acceptable outfit. Jeans, a sleeveless top, and a strange black vest thingy. It looks well made and completely wearable. And If I have trouble sleeping tonight, I'll try thinking about this outfit.

Althea made another pair of shorts that are too short. But I really like the chiffon top cut like a man's shirt. It's very cute and I can see someone wearing it at a cafe in St. Tropez.

Nicolas made a perfectly decent outfit that doesn't look inspired by anything.

Carol Hannah made a long flowing print dress that, as she points out, looks like something you could buy anywhere. It also looks like the dress Qristyl made for the beach challenge.

Other Eric: "It looks like an Uli Herzner original."

Me: "Yeah, if Uli were a costume designer on The Golden Girls."

Christopher made an outfit that looks like no effort went into it. It's just a simple brown skirt with some blue fabric draped over the shoulders for a top. Anyone could make this at home with a couple of yards of fabric. But who would want to? And even a year or two ago when this was filmed, this color combination was already dated.

Irina made an outfit that's a little bit of a cliche but it's well done and it looks good.

Gordana made a pretty cocktail dress that isn't especially inspiring.

Althea is safe; the other six are the top and bottom.

The judges think Irina's is a fantasy 1980s version of Aspen but they really like it.

Milla Jovovich likes Christopher's belt but the judges hate everything else about his outfit.

The judges love Carol Hanna's boring dress, for some reason.

Milla Jovovich likes Nicolas' top but the judges don't get the Greece reference:

Michael Kors: "It's more like the movie Grease."

How the hell is it like the movie Grease?

Michael: "You know the big roller-disco finale?"

That's not Grease.

Michael: "Give me a break! I'm contractually obligated to make a clever remark and I'm really jet-lagged."

The judges like Gordana's necklace.

Heidi: "We like Gordana's look but it's very important that I have something to criticize her about."

Milla Jovovich: "She lacks confidence."

Heidi: "Perfect."

The judges don't hate Logan's look but Milla wants him to spray paint the jeans and Michael wants him to "blow the jean's shape out," whatever that means. Heidi didn't mind it:

Milla Jovovich: "Well, if he ever goes on Project I Didn't Mind It, he'll definitely win."

Man, We all knew she was a world-famous fashion designer but who knew she was such a world-class wit? Where does she find the time?

Irina wins. That was the right decision this week.

Irina: "Ugh. You don't know how hard it is to be me. Now I have to top the amazing work I've already done. Sometimes I wish I were as talentless as the other designers. No matter what they do, it will be an improvement."

Nicolas is out. That was the wrong decision. His outfit had nothing to do with Greece but it wasn't a bad outfit. Christopher's outfit had nothing to do with the challenge AND it was completely awful. He's safe because he made a cute belt? I can usually figure out a justification for the judges' decisions but this time I can't.

Sorry, Nicolas.

Nicolas: "This is the last you've heard of me."

You know what, Nicolas? Screw you for being so funny I can't even mock you.

19 comments:

kittens not kids said...

thank god for you, and TLo, or this season would be a complete loss.

i want to punch Irina in the face.

and THANK YOU for pointing out how boring Carol Hannah's dress is! I am still baffled about why the judges loved it so much - it's been done a zillion times, and by better people than Carol Hannah. also, i hate maxi dresses, from their name on down.

time gunn in a chiffon shirt! yay!

kittens not kids said...

tim gunn, obviously. Time Gunn would have eliminated all of these shitty designers after the second week of the show. probably with some kind of explosive device rigged by Macguyver.

Cliff O'Neill said...

I really didn't mind Carol Hannah's dress. But I did like it better when Uli did it.

But MJ really did hit the nail on the head with the Project I Didn't Mind It. It seems to be the theme this season. Even Evil Irina's better-than-the-rest outfit was a snooze, just not as much as a snooze as the rest of the looks.

Oi.

eric3000 said...

Yeah, I think that was a character on Doctor Who.

And I agree that "maxi-dress" is a terrible name. LOL!

eric3000 said...

Oh, so my previous comment was for kittens.

Cliff, yeah, Milla certainly could have been talking about the whole season. There are just so few looks to get excited about. I can't tell if it's the designers or the boring challenges. There seem to be more one day challenges, so that the challenge seems to be making something in a short amount of time, instead of making something amazing.

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

That was so hysterical.

"Tim likes Althea's menswear look but he reminds her that it isn't actually menswear because no man would wear a chiffon dress shirt. Meanwhile, you can tell he's dying to try it on."
Hah

I agree the season is a snoozefest. I am over Heidi Klum. As a child of the 60's I have to say she has a "weird vibe" this season.

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

Thanks Eric your recap was so much fun!

ePastor James said...

<3333. Your recaps make everything better.

I gotta say, I loved Milla on the judging panel. Her "witty remark" took about as much effort as Christopher's non-design, BUT she had actual input and personality. It was the polar opposite of Lindsay Lohan, with her "I like it" and "Hee!". And I've always thought of her as mute, as I've only seen her in The Fifth Element. (I refuse to see Resident Evil, because I heard she shows beaver. NOTHXBI.)

But alas, I loved Irina's and Gordana's; liked Althea's and Carol Hannah's, no matter how much of a retread it was (the braiding got her points--although I think Irina is p/o'ed, since she and Johnny did that for beachwear...w/e, See You Next Thursday).

Nicolas's blouse was very nice, so I can't fathom why either of the other two wastes of space are still here. Logan's never been higher than the middle (although he should've been for the newspaper challenge only) and Christopher has sucked four weeks consecutively! Rad belt or not, trim the fucking fat already, Heidi.

Eh, guess it doesn't matter; Nicolas, Christopher, and Logan have all been in the bottom 4 times as of Ep.#10. Think they're rigging another all-female finale to impress Lifetime with their vag-power? ^_^v.

eric3000 said...

Thanks, Laura and ePastor!

Yeah, I really liked Milla on the panel. She seemed really at ease with the other judges, while some other guests have felt like intruders.

Tina said...

I don't get why anyone would want to punch Irina in the face. She is practically the only reason to watch the show at this point (not to mention a shirtless Logan, and funny recaps). I loves me a bitch who can also sew. If you are going to talk stank about all the other designers you better be able to bring it, and Irina does BRING IT. I predict she is going to keep doing so – all the way through the finale.

eric3000 said...

Yeah, Tina, I think Irina is hilarious and I think she'd be thrilled to know people care enough to want to punch her in the face (as long as they don't actually do it). I think she's very talented in comparison to many of the other designers this season. But that's not saying much, unfortunately.

ePastor James said...

She has talent, indeed, but I think Althea is at least on the same level as her. Irina has made a few terrific designs, although that newspaper dress needed color and Althea's and Logan's were way more wearable. But a lot of her outfits are just drab and lack color or flavor sometimes, like that mom-of-the-bride wedding dress revamping. Also, while I loved this week's outfit, that open back was just retarded. It was impractical, and her bony ass would likely turn into a bitchsicle within seconds.

lovemesomelogan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lovemesomelogan said...

As much of a bitch as Irina is, at least she backs it up. Everyone is so middle of the road this season. Milla did really sum it up with her comment. Why aren't the judges bitching and moaning more about the lack of creativity from the contestants this season? Of course, part of it has to do with the lack of creativity in coming up with the challenges too, but the designers could still turn it out no matter what the challenge is. Oh Chris March, come back! Even Santino. Jeffrey. Heck, even Vincent had more creativity and he was out of his mind. But Logan can stay. He doesn't really have to do any more designs. Just stay like a good little boy. Thank God you're pretty!

ePastor James said...

NO JEFFREY. Almost everything he made was uglyyyyyyyyyy.

Worst winner. Uli was robbed ♥.

eric3000 said...

I'm afraid, lovemesomelogan, that Logan will need more than silver jeans to make it into the final four. He may have to go shirtless for the judging. (Or he could make a great outfit, but that seems unlikely.) LOL!

Sewing Siren said...

Nicolas was funny this episode. Last one too. He was a much better designer than Chritopher. Or Logan. Who have both been in the bottom three so often now. Feathers and white lace. How I miss him.

eric3000 said...

Yeah, I thought Nicolas was entertaining. I was annoyed when he won the challenge with his stupid Ice Queen dress but it isn't his fault the judges are idiots so I won't hold that against him.

ePastor James said...

Yeah, Nicolas annoyed me at first and I thought he was the worst designer of the Top 12, but then he turned-out to be a nice presence after all. Still, Epperson was ROBBED for that costume challenge. Blah.

At least Nicolas had one win and another Top placement. Logan's been bottoming (teehee) more than any other contestant. Clearly, the judges' loins are as moist as lovesmesomelogan. Horny vag vipers.