Thursday, September 02, 2010

Project Runway Season Eight, Episode Six: The Peculiar Problem of Poor Peplum Peach!

(This post is a ballad dedicated to Peach and it should be sung in the style of a narcocorrido)

Last time A.J. was out and Ivy had an "aha" moment:

Ivy: "Aha!"

Thank you for that, Ivy. Meanwhile, Gretchen just wants you to know how really really hard everyone worked:

Gretchen: "We all worked really really hard. Of course, some of us worked really really harder than others, though I'm not naming names, Michael C."

We start the episode with everyone complaining about Michael C.'s lack of talent. There is one person who disagrees with this assessment:

Michael C.: "I happen to think I'm very talented."

There you go. It's a wash. Actually, Casanova also thinks he's talented. But that's not really something to brag about.

Heidi introduces the challenge:

Heidi: "This week you will have new victims. I mean models. You will be turning their bridesmaid dresses into something that could be worn in public."

The point, of course, is to use as much of the original dress as possible. But, as in past similar challenges, they get to buy two yards of fabric at Mood. Michael D. has a Gone With the Wind (via the Carol Burnett Show) moment:

Michael D.: "I saw this in the window and I just had to have it."

Yes, he plans to make his dress out of curtain fabric, because it's wider, so he can get more square footage out of his two yards. This does not sound promising.

Gretchen talks to her mom on one of those fancy new 3-D telephones:

Gretchen: "Mom, talking to you has made me realize there is more to life than fashion."

Gretchen's Mom: "Honey, I've never heard such horse shit. Fashion is your entire life. You don't have anything else. Snap out of it!"

Gretchen's mom slaps her over the telephone, through the magic of 3-D technology.

Tim announces that there will be a designer showcase, where the victims (I mean models) will have to stand in hermetically sealed vitrines in a gallery space for an unspecified period of time and have a bunch of people stare at them like zoo animals. And only one woman dropped out of this nightmare?

Tim: "The models will get a gift of jewelry from the Piperlime accessory wall."

Haven't these poor women been through enough already?

Apparently, Michael C. is telling everyone at the showcase that Ivy is the bitch of the show, and while he isn't wrong, it's still a terrible thing to say. Seriously though, everyone seems to hear that he is trash-talking Ivy, and unless Ivy is starting the rumor herself (which is possible, but seems unlikely), Michael isn't really helping his reputation with the other designers. And that's fine, if that's his intention. But then he needs to stop whining about the fact that nobody likes him. [update: I've changed my position on the prospect of Ivy starting the rumor from "possible" to "likely"]

The designers use the feedback from the crowd to make some last-minute changes to their garments and then it's time for the runway, with guest judge Cynthia Rowley:

The runway show stank so bad my eyes were watering. OK, it really wasn't that bad, but it wasn't very good.

The judges deliberate:

Heidi: "The other designers were so mean to Michael C. last time."

Michael Kors: "Yeah. I say we totally fuck with them and pretend to love his dress this week!"

Nina: "Well, you know what would absolutely kill them?"

Heidi: "Oh, my god, YES! We'll give him the win and immunity! Hilarious!"

Michael Kors: "Ha ha! Gretchen and Ivy will shit in their pants!"

Heidi: "Cynthia, do you have any problem with acting like you're on crack?"

Cynthia Rowley: "Have we met?"

Heidi: "Ha ha! Just checking!"

Nina: "Is there any way we could bring all the designers back so we could see the looks on their faces? It's going to be priceless!"

Heidi: "Let me check the rules. OK, this could be relevant: rule number five states 'If you are in a long-distance relationship, he must visit you at least three times before you visit him.'"

Nina: "That's a copy of The Rules, you nitwit. Why the hell do you even have that?"

Heidi: "Could you remind me which one of us is married to Seal? Yeah, that's what I thought. Let's just bring the top and bottom back out here and have some fun."

Let the praise for Michael C.'s dress commence:

Cynthia Rowley: "I love how there is just WAY too much going on with this dress!"

Michael Kors: "I think it's amazing how you managed to make this dress look like a burka and yet still expose her vagina!"

Nina: "I am so impressed by the fact that you mixed ten different black fabrics for absolutely no reason."

Heidi: "I want this dress in every color, as long as it's black. Congratulations, Michael C. You are the winner! Please go give Gretchen and Ivy the thrilling news and make sure you get it on camera for us."

So Mondo, who clearly should have won this week for his adorable and perfectly constructed pink and black dress, is in second place. The judges use his weird styling choices as an excuse. But, come on, it's Mondo. His styling choices are always weird. That's why we love him. Also, he won the showcase part of the challenge, which was supposed to impact the judging but obviously didn't.

Valerie is in the bottom for her hideously unflattering dress, but she's safe.

Michael D. managed to to take an ugly dress and make it worse. He chose exactly the wrong silhouette for a plus-sized model (or really any model over the age of five) and he covered the dress in fabric that looks even cheaper than the original fabric. His model is a lovely woman and he could have made her look really good if he had chosen the right silhouette. Instead, he made every possible wrong decision:

Michael D.: "How can I put this delicately? My model required A LOT of fabric."

Yeah, not so delicate. Look, I get it. Two yards of fabric would go farther on a size two model. But the point was to use as little new fabric as possible, so it shouldn't have been a major issue. Anyway, he's safe.

That leaves us with the peculiar problem of poor Peplum Peach. Why is she trying to bring back the peplum? IT'S NOT FLATTERING! You know she wouldn't be caught dead wearing the things she sends down the runway. We love her and she had a good run, but it was time for her to go. We'll miss you, Peplum Peach!

21 comments:

lovemesomeaj said...

Oh man you had me laughing at this one! I can't figure out the love for Michael C.'s dress other than the scenario you presented. Mondo's was so fabu, I wanted to reach through the screen and take it. Since my sacrificial lamb was booted off, I'm loving little Mondo as my dark horse for the win. The others will all eventually kill each other and Mondo will be the only one left standing.

I might be crazy, but I'm loving Casanova now. He annoyed me so much before, but now I find him quite endearing. I'm also liking April. yes, you read that correctly. See epastor James, I can like girls too! (but not beotches Gretchen and Ivy) ; )

eric3000 said...

Ha ha! Yes, I think the idea of the rest of the designers killing each other off, leaving Mondo as the last one standing, is a real possibility!

Dan said...

I also have grown to really like April.

Believe it or not, I actually thought Michael C.'s dress was beautiful, interesting and the best on the runway - with Mondo's coming second.

And Eric, check the video again if you need to, but NO designer said they had heard Michael C. say that she was the bitch of the show. Val and the others Ivy talks to act shocked when Ivy tells them about this, and none of them confirms.

The rumor makes no sense. Why would Michael be wasting his time telling people that and if it was true why would it not be featured on camera?

ePastor James said...

Dan said it all. My theory? The producers wanted to get back at Ivy for being a complete cuntwagon last week ("I dunno if it's laziness or just ignorance."), so they planted some production goonies in the room to spread merry rumors for the lulz.

Michael's winning dress was good enough. I actually preferred it before the lace, but I get it. However, I agree with lovemesomeaj and you, Eric--Mondo's was SUPERB! It's just like with Valerie way back in the beginning--how are my two favorites/the two best, Valerie and Mondo, always runner-up to some other fuckery? PR wins are just so political nowadays. But it was semi-worth it for the FU to the assclowns.

Lovemesome, I'm sooo glad to hear that, haha, since April is one of my faves as well. She totally should've been in the top 3 over Christopher, don'tchy'all think? Hell, Eric didn't even mention Christopher because it was so forgettable...and tacky. Valerie/Mondo/April all need some mofo'ing wins, pronto. No more Maya incidents, for fuck's sake!

And I'll miss Peach and her good china. She was so genuine, funny, and unpretentious. I'll miss the age-defiant relationship between her and April. She was the bright light of the show this season.

MoHub said...

Just so you know: Both Peach (in interviews) and a person who was at the showcase have said the Michael C. did not trash Ivy or tell people not to vote for her. In fact, Peach has come right out and said Ivy made it up.

eric3000 said...

Agreed. It's looking entirely likely that Ivy made the whole thing up. However, I don't think the case is closed.

Two points:

The editors of these shows often omit relevant footage simply to keep us guessing, so not having footage of someone saying something doesn't prove anything.

Peach does say she doesn't know of anyone who actually heard Michael say what he is accused of saying. I didn't hear her claim to know for certain that Ivy made it up. She states in the TLo interview that Michael is "not a victim" and makes him sound like a jerk.

So, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for now. But I have the feeling his behavior will become more of an issue in the future.

Vic said...

Great post as always, Eric. Two things. None of the designers heard Michael C. say that Ivy was a bitch.

But Peach (and A.J.) are revealing why Michael C. is so universally disliked by the designers. Tom and Lorenzo posted their interview with Peach on their blog, and she says that Michael C. is play acting and angling for a reality show.

Interesting. This could be true, because as discussed in this comment section, the producers do not show everything that occurs behind the scenes.

Whatever the reasons are for the Michael C. hate, Project Runway has been rejuvenated, prompting me to write my first PR post in over two years.

Vic said...

If I may be so brazen, the link to my post is here. I placed it separately in case you want to delete this comment :)
http://dis-ndat.blogspot.com/2010/09/zipper-dee-doo-dah-and-hallelujah-or.html

eric3000 said...

Right. I admit I misinterpreted the footage. But, to be clear, I didn't actually say that anyone heard Michael trash-talking Ivy. I said that they heard THAT he was trash-talking Ivy. So the question is whether or not they heard it only from Ivy.

Vic, my friends are always free to post links in the comments!

Cliff O'Neill said...

Agreed on all fronts!

And yay for Peach for revealing that Michael C. is not exactly as he appears. For I noticed from Episode One forward that there is something so entirely phony about his affect in every single shot. It's almost as if he's a plant sent by Ashton Kutcher to see how long people will realize he's just an improv actor who's been given the gig.

As for his talent or lack of it, he seems mediocre at best.

eric3000 said...

Yep, you called it, Cliff! Last week I was so confused by his performance that I actually watched his audition video (which I usually don't bother to do). It was weird. I don't know what his deal is. The only thing I know is that if he gets his own reality show, I'm not watching it.

MoHub said...

Peach does say she doesn't know of anyone who actually heard Michael say what he is accused of saying. I didn't hear her claim to know for certain that Ivy made it up. She states in the TLo interview that Michael is "not a victim" and makes him sound like a jerk.

In Peach's BPR podcast interview, she is asked whether she believes Ivy was lying, and she answers in the affirmative.

eric3000 said...

YES, I've heard the interview! She BELIEVES Ivy lied. She's probably correct, but she doesn't know for sure.

Sheesh! I don't know how else to say this: I agree that Ivy probably lied! I'm agreeing with you! Why are we arguing? LOL!

Sewing Siren said...

April had the best garment this week. Andy's and Casanova's were also good for total transformations. OF the top three the judges picked, I would have had Mondo win it by a mile.

I thought the bottom three should have been Gretchen, Valerie and Peach. Valerie made the worst dress but I'm glad she didn't go home.

I think the reason the other designers dislike Michael C, is because he is a phoney and has no interst in being in fashion. And now they judges give him another win because the other designers deserve to be punished . Ugg. I don't blame them for shunning him.

Sewing Siren said...

I thought the Ivy thing was a producer plant too. Like they told third party designer to go tell Ivy that they over heard Michael C. saying "blah -dee- blah ,blah"

eric3000 said...

Oh, I would definitely not rule out third party participation in this outrageous scandal! I, for one, will not let the matter rest until I get to the bottom of it. Or I get bored. Whichever comes first.

FlamingJune said...

eric three thousand said:
Michael Kors: "I think it's amazing how you managed to make this dress look like a burka and yet still expose her vagina!"

This is pure genius! I love reading your blog, because you are incredibly witty - and in this case, insightful! I have also felt "not-quite-right" about Michael C. since the beginning, which is why I simply cannot work myself up into feeling sorry for him... or even happy he won. There is something very disingenuous about the way he acts.

Anyway - thanks for this awesome post!!!!

eric3000 said...

Thanks, FlamingJune!

monica said...

I love this blot. I check every Thursday night. More than missing PR between seasons, I miss your PR analysis posts.

Thanks!

monica said...

*blog

eric3000 said...

Thanks, Monica! I really appreciate hearing that people enjoy my silly posts!