Thursday, September 16, 2010

Project Runway, Season Eight, Episode Eight: Tim is so honored to be in this title!

Tim: "I am so honored!"

By what?

Tim: "Oh, just in general."

alright. So we start the episode with the girls putting on their makeup. Then we go to the other apartment and watch the women put on their makeup. Michael C. makes a clever remark:

Michael C.: "If opaque were a color, it would be named Ivy."

Well, if obtuse were a color, Michael C. would be a triangle with one angle greater than 90 degrees.

Michael C.: "That doesn't make sense."

That's what she said.

Heidi gives the designers a hint about the challenge:

Heidi: "You will need to look to the past in order to secure the future. In other words, you will need to travel in time in order to stop the rebellion of the machines that are trying to wipe out the human race."

With one day and a hundred dollar budget? That's crazy! Sometimes I wish the producers would give the designers just a little more time to save humanity.

Gretchen: "I'm totally up for some robot-killing action. Just don't ask me to make a corset."

The designers meet Tim in the "Capsule Studio," which I assume is some sort of time-travel device:

Tim: "I am just so, so honored to be standing in front of a picture of Jacqueline Kennedy."

Why are you honored by that?

Tim: "Not just anyone can stand in front of a picture of Jacqueline Kennedy."

I'm pretty sure anyone could do that.

Tim: "Well, I don't see you standing in front of a picture of Jacqueline Kennedy!"

He's got me there. I have to make a humiliating confession: I have never had the great honor of standing in front of a picture of Jacqueline Kennedy. But I'm hopeful that someday I can make that happen. I can dream, can't I?

Anyway, Tim explains the challenge:

Tim: "The challenge is to create your own personal contribution to classic American sportswear. It should be completely new and personal but completely classic and recognizable. You should use Jacqueline Kennedy as an inspiration, which means you should create something that would be worn by someone today who shares her spirit. But you should also make sure it would be something she would personally wear. Keep in mind that she has been dead for a number of years, so she would probably prefer something comfortable and understated."

I don't understand this challenge. Are they supposed to make something Jackie would actually wear? Or are they supposed to make something that would be worn by a modern-day Jackie? And why are they calling her Kennedy instead of Onassis? Are they implying the major influence should be her time as First Lady? It's always difficult to judge the results when the instructions are so confusing.

Andy tries to help clear things up:

Andy: "Jackie was a risk-taker. She was the Lady Gaga of her time. She would totally wear a dress made out of meat."

No. You're confusing "risk-taker" with "trend-setter." They are not the same.

We learn that Michael D. is hilarious:

Michael D.: "I'm designing truly classic American sportswear. I'm designing for the Pilgrims."

Valerie: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, my god, stop! You're killing me!"

Seriously, did I miss something? Is he funnier in person? Is Valerie flirting with him?

Tim makes an announcement:

Tim: "I am so incredibly honored to tell you that you have another day to make a corresponding outerwear piece and protect John Connor from the terminator."

Valerie wonders what to do about the fact that her outfit already has a jacket:

Tim: "Frankly, I'm shocked that you made a jacket. Jacqueline Kennedy would never wear a jacket. Sportswear collections don't include jackets. What were you thinking?"

I really don't understand Tim's reaction to Valerie's jacket. I thought sportswear was a pretty broad category of casual day-wear that can include jackets.

Anyway, the designers make their outerwear and Tim makes his final announcement before the runway:

Tim: "I am just so honored to be standing here in front of the Piperlime accessory wall."

Oh, cut that out! On to the runway, with guest judge January Jones:

Heidi: "Who cares that she doesn't have anything interesting to say? Just look at her!"

she's pretty

Heidi: "That's what I'm talkin' about!"

Gretchen, April, and Michael C. are safe. Now, many of the designers missed the mark on this challenge, but there is nowhere on earth Michael's blue cocktail dress would be classified as sportswear. I guess his coat saved him. Anyway, the three of them are discussing why they are safe and Michael tries to be clever again:

Michael C.: "Gretchen, I know Jacqueline Kennedy would want to own all the clothes you make (psst. I'm totally being sarcastic, ha ha!)"

Oh, Michael, that would be so hilarious if Gretchen actually gave a shit about what you think.

The top three are Christopher, Ivy, and Mondo.

Christopher, like Michael C., made a cocktail dress. However, an over-dressed woman could conceivably wear it shopping or to lunch without looking as though she hadn't changed from the previous evening. Without the dead animal around her neck, of course.

I thought Ivy would win. Her look was very classic and elegant and sophisticated and Jackie. However, it wasn't very young or innovative, so maybe that's why the judges went with Mondo.

To me, Mondo's look was slightly too retro for a modern-day Jackie. But I loved it and I'm happy he won. Congratulations, Mondo!

Valerie, Michael D., and Andy are the bottom three. Heidi is totally freaking out about Valerie's look:

Heidi: "Is that ... oh, my god ... a jacket over a JACKET!!?? I think I'm gonna barf!"

It's actually a vest over a fitted jacket and I really don't see what the big deal is. Look, I completely agree that it's kind of a boring look, but it's just not that bad.

Andy's is bad. Jackie would not be caught dead in his outfit. Literally. Even Jackie's reanimated corpse would have enough sense not to wear that. But, obviously he was going for a modern-day Jackie. Still wrong. A modern-day Jackie would still be elegant and sophisticated. On top of that, it was not well made. Don't get me wrong: I sort of like the idea of the outfit. But it wasn't right for this challenge.

Michael D.'s look, however, was hopeless:

January Jones: "I didn't hate the belt."

Yeah, that's how bad it was. There is nothing else to say about it. He's out. Sorry, Michael D., we'll miss you!

Tim: "I am just so honored to be standing here telling Michael D. to go clean up his space. Michael, I guess this was your Waterloo."

Michael D.: "I'll have to look that word up in the dictionary."

Well, here you go:

wa·ter·loo (w-tər-ˈ)
n. pl. wa·ter·loos
1. Only the best ABBA song ever
2. Any homosexual who doesn't know that should have his license revoked


Cliff O'Neill said...

When I saw this episode the first time, I thought that some of them were possibly funny. Seeing it the second time, I am stunned as to how wholly unfunny this bunch is.

And I didn't think I'd ever see an episode where there wasn't a top three, but a top one and everyone else on the bottom.

Or was there another season with a challenge with no winner? I wanna say that season with the menswear challenge with Zulima's no-shirt-shirt.

Cliff O'Neill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dan said...

Your recaps capture so many of my thoughts - (1) the challenge made no sense, (2) Tim's "I'm so honored to be standing in front of a picture" was, well, a ridiculous statement (and why did they have to go to that bizarre studio just to see that weird collection of projected pictures??), (3) not sure what was funny about Michael D's comments, (4) Tim telling Valerie she shouldn't have made a jacket was completely ridiculous and made no sense. how was she supposed to know not to make one? it was pretty unfair.

I thought Mondo's was amazing, and I'm delighted he won. I want Ivy off the show ASAP, so I'm happy she has no immunity next week.

Sewing Siren said...

Well maybe Michael D. isn't gay? Bet nobody considered that, hmmm. Think outside of the box.

kittens not kids said...

i loved Mondo's. it worked for me as a Jackie O. reference, especially since no one else's was even close to being Jackie-ish (except maybe, MAYBE, Ivy, but only maybe, and kinda).

this was sort of a baffling episode, because it was unusually dull, and the judges were unusually nasty without seeming to actually address the real issues with ugly clothes.

very strange, this season.

January Jones IS very pretty, especially in mid-century Mad Men drag, but something about her face makes her look like she's not very nice. It isn't even that she has a bitchy expression; there's just something kind of hard about her.

eric3000 said...

Cliff, good question. I can't remember if there was a challenge with no winner.

Dan, thanks, I'm glad I'm not the only one who found so many strange things in this episode.

Sewing Siren, no, I never considered that. Ha ha!

Kittens, I agree this episode did not live up to the rest of the season.

Thanks for your comments, everyone!

lovemesomeaj said...

Yay Mondo! So proud of the little emcee from Cabaret. He was the clear winner for sure. I want that outfit! I'm honored to be sitting in front of a television set on which he is present. Still waiting for the others to kill each other off and Mondo will be left standing.

"Keep in mind that she has been dead for a number of years, so she would probably prefer something comfortable and understated." Oh Eric! You had me in stitches. You are so much funnier than any of the designers!

Monica said...

I was watching this episode and while certain things happened i was thinking to myself "i can't wait to see what eric has to say about that."

you didn't disappoint.

especially the whole "i'm honored to be standing in front of a photo" thing.

and hmmmm....i'd be willing to bet a lot of my hard earned cash that michael "ensuer of hilarity" d. is gay.

Jo S. said...

This recap slayed me! My zombie was going to weigh in on the issue of the lovely Michael D's sexuality by reminding you all that Jason "No one will notice that gaping hole" Troisi whined to the camera about the difficulties of being a straight man in the fashion industry, which I took that to mean he was the only one on the show. Maybe that was reading too much into it.

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

"I didn't hate the belt." Ha

You said it perfectly, that was a confusing challenge. Even though I am honored to say Tim Gunn's name I must say he seems to muddle the challenges with. ambiguous instructions.

I thought it was strange how he reacted to the jacket too. I wonder why she didn't mention that she had already made a jacket.

I agree with you Kittens, Mrs Madmen does have the snippy cold thing going. Was she type cast?