Project Runway Season Twelve, Episode Five: Mad Designer!

[warning: there are some season six Mad Men spoilers in this post. But you've had months to watch it so I don't know what you are complaining about!]

Tim introduces the brand new 2013 Lexus SI sedan

The episode starts with the designers meeting Tim on Madison Avenue:

Tim: “I have good news and bad news.”

We already know you lost the Jaguar account.

Tim: “Well, then I only have good news! I managed to get us a meeting to pitch to Lexus! Come on, people, Lexus is the dream account! Everyone wants it!”

Ken: “I can’t believe you did this. You know what I had to do to get the Jaguar account! And we were just about to go public! You think you know what’s best for everyone. I am so mad right now.”

Tim: “But...”

Ken: “Excuse me, but I am still speaking so I need you to not speak right now! I have nothing more to say.”

So, anyway, this is a team challenge, which means a merger between the firms of Sterling Cooper Draper Price and Cutler Gleason Chaough. They’ll be creating garments inspired by the new Lexus SI sedan.

Tim: “Your looks don’t really have to be inspired by the Lexus. They can be, but it isn’t required. I think you should just do whatever you want. In fact, I think I’ll move to California and open a new West Coast Project Runway office. It will be an adventure. Did I ever tell you that I was raised by a kindly prostitute who would buy me Hershey bars if found enough money in her clients’ pockets? God, I love Hershey bars.”

Ken: “STOP TALKING!!!”

This will be the highly anticipated conventional materials challenge. It’s the challenge we’ve all been waiting for and apparently it only comes once per season. They can finally use normal materials, such as place mats and shower curtains to make their garments. The creative teams get started on the pitches for Lexus. 

But before we get to that, Sandro drops by to say goodbye and give everyone closure:

Sandro: “I’m sorry, guy whose name I don’t remember. I shouldn’t have forced you to drive that Mustang when I knew you couldn’t handle a stick shift. But I had no idea that gay male nurse I recommended was going to marry your mother and then throw her off a cruise ship. Having said that, she did always love the sea.”

WHY IS THIS GUY ALWAYS HERE?!!!

Now on to the results. Ken, Alexandria, and Sue are going with a pitch that is a parody of Roman Polansky’s recently released “Rosamary’s Baby.” The garments are as horrifying as the movie.

Sue, Alexandria, and Ken act out a scene from "Rosemary's Baby"

Tim: “Wait a minute. How much is all this going to cost?”

Sue: “Well, we need an extra ten thousand dollars, but it’s totally going to be worth it.”

Tim: “This makes me sick! This isn’t what the client wants! Change everything!”

Ken: “But we can practically taste that CLIO! I am so mad!”

Tim: “But...”

Ken: “Excuse me but I am still speaking so I need you to not speak right now! I have nothing else to say!”

They change everything and it’s still terrible, except for Alexandria’s, which is actually not bad.

Alexandria: “Thank you, I...”

Ken: “I AM STILL SPEAKING!!!”

The episode was just a series of things pissing off Ken. Sue and Alexandria went behind his back and set up a lunch meeting with the guy from the Avon hair and makeup studio; he hates all the wallpaper; and Roger Sterling took a four-year-old to see “Planet of the Apes.” 

Ken: "Who does that?!!! I am so mad!"

Ken is pissed off by this wallpaper

Despite all the screaming and the undressed model and Kate helpfully giving Ken the inside scoop about how in a team challenge the worst designer will be sent home (really?), this was all a foregone conclusion. Sue is out.

The other teams were not as clear cut. 

The creative team of Helen, Justin, and Dom created a really mediocre pitch:

Helen: “It’s a collection for the young and the young at heart.”

Boring.

This isn't working

The creative team of Alexander, Bradon and Miranda came up with a better pitch:

Bradon: “The future is something we haven’t even thought of yet. We don’t even show the collection. Just music, people’s faces, all different kinds of people, looks of wonder. What could it be? Then, after a week, we finally show the collection.”

I love it! It’s so conceptual! Bradon is obviously going to win the challenge. Except he doesn’t.

The creative team of Kate, Jeremy, and Karen pitch something about how the Lexus reminds them of retro modern Great Gatsby and I guess it’s nice if you like that sort of thing. Jeremy wins the Lexus contract and he finally gets that CLIO award. Congratulations, Jeremy.

Meanwhile, Ken heads to Detroit to head up the Lexus campaign, but he’s not really enjoying it as much as he should be.

Ken: “They shot me in the face!”

Well, it was an accident. Don't be such a baby.

At least Ken wasn't run over by a lawnmower