Saturday, November 11, 2006

Project Runway Recap: Season One, episode 2: What Would Jesus Design?

For those just tuning in, the fabulous fags at Project Rungay are blogging season one on DVD to keep the fans under control until the next season starts. So, since I'm watching, I'm doing my little weekly recaps. Hope you're watching too!

Here we go:

Heidi comes out to greet the designers. Hey, is she wearing cotton? I wonder if that could be significant.

First, they have to get rid of a model.

Kara: "It is getting more and more important to have your name picked early because everyone keeps choosing the same three models."

OK, Kara, this is only the second episode.

They keep the model who doesn't even show up and send home some other model I don't remember.

Heidi: "Sending home one of the models was so hard. I think it's the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. I had no problem sending Daniel home last week."

Now on to the challenge:

Heidi: "The look, the feel of cotton; the fabric of our lives! That's right; you heard me! Come on people; lets make some noise for cotton!"

Designers: "whatever."

Bolts of plain white cotton are draped between the columns in the design room. It looks like a Duchamp installation. It's a vast improvement; I hope they keep it like that.

No such luck; they have to cut it up and make garments out of it.

Wendy: "OK, first I recommend that we elect me queen of the cotton. I will then distribute it as I see fit. The person who acts the most sorry for me will get the longest piece. Oh, I guess that would be me!"

Mario: "Well, I need at least six inches of fabric so don't screw with me."

The challenge is to create a garment that represents the idea of envy.

Wendy: "Finally, my debilitating envy of everyone else is going to pay off! I'm envious of Nora because she's 21 and I was born middle aged. I'm envious of Vanessa because she has that stupid British accent I can't even imitate properly. I'm envious of Austin because he can wear make-up without looking like a clown. I should have no problem with this challenge. Plus, all the other designers are actually focusing on designing. It's like they've never seen Survivor. Fools. I'm the only one clever enough to concentrate on strategy. If I have extra time I'll make a dress."

The designers have to push their garments at an auction.

Jay: "This look works at home but for some reason people in the East Village do not want to talk to Jesus."

Wendy: "Austin, this is terrible; marketing is my weakness."

Austin: "Yes, there's that. Your lack of talent probably doesn't help, though."

Nora: "The more I look at my dress, the more I'm convinced I'm going to win."

I think you need to stop looking at your dress, then. I think it's destroying your retinas.

Back in the studio the designers talk to the judges:

Starr: "My legal education compels me to point out that we were never specifically instructed that the garments had to be pretty."

Ooh, she got you there, Nina.

Mario: "I got my idea for a blood-spattered dress after listening to all the models talking about murdering people."

Models (whispering to each other): "Damn, we have to stop talking so loud."

Wendy: "To me jealousy is represented by an unfinished hem. I tried to ..."

Nina: "I'm going to stop you right there. I have nothing to say; I just want to stop you."

Robert and Kara have the best designs. They are attractive and wearable and the stories about penis envy and envy turning to war make some sense. I would have chosen Robert's but Kara got the highest bid at auction so she wins.

Mario loses. Jay loses it. I think someone had a little crush. Cute!


Anonymous said...

Well, my dear, I totally connected with that penis envy story Robert concocted. I would have voted for him above Kara, who made a nice dress but whose story sucked.

Jay created an outfit that had his model strutting down the runway like one dayum hot chick! Talk about envy. Couldn't you tell that all the other models wished they were wearing that smokin' ensemble? I mean: Look at THOSE pants! And that furry white whatever top!

C'mon! That outfit was hot, chic, and young! Jay gets my vote for the envy competition. Robert comes in at a close second. And Kara Saun gets my veteran's day vote and ode to The Longest Day award.

BigAssBelle said...

absolutely hysterical!!!! a perfect recap :-)

Anonymous said...

Great recap. Especially:
"This look works at home but for some reason people in the East Village do not want to talk to Jesus." and "I'm going to stop you right there. I have nothing to say; I just want to stop you."

I'm glad they picked Kara. (I have some shocking news: penis envy = hoo ha.)

Anyway, Robert should not be encouraged. He generates enough praise for himself as it is.

eric3000 said...

Thanks everyone!

I can't help it; I really liked Robert's. The cigar and way the model took charge of the runway totally sold the penis envy story. Plus, as the judges pointed out, the suit was really well made.

Jay's looked pretty hot but I just thought the story was too much like the bad story Carlos came up with: having to do with the models all being jealous of each other.

eric3000 said...

Oops, I meant Mario, not Carlos! I'm getting my hot Latin guys mixed up.

Anonymous said...

Robert's was very fun in a theatrical way. And Kara's hat wasn't military -- it was what I wore when I worked food service in college.

But Robert scares me: Robert's ego's penis has a penis. And all of them have voices in Robert's head.

Anonymous said...

I personally prefer Italian job..erh,..I mean food and men. Not the movie.

off topic. Grapefruits were growing on me. What the hell is my grapefruit, Eric?

bungle said...

Dude, your Wendy portions of the recap are outstanding!

Anonymous said...

I know you have world wide fans, Eric(s).
Namaste, Shalom and God Bless.
If I don't visit, it does not reflect the fabulous work that you dish everyday.

Anonymous said...

Mario loses. Jay loses it. I think someone had a little crush. Cute!"

LOL. We think so too.