Sunday, May 13, 2007

Project Runway Season Two, Season Finale, Part Two: the Finale to the Season Two Finale!

Heidi: "This is the finale to the second season of Project Runway, the search for the next great American businesswoman!"

OK, first we have to sit through about 45 minutes of recaps from the first half of the season two finale. Then we get back to where we left off: the 13th look. Chloe has Diana helping her, Santino has Andrae helping him, and Daniel has Nick:

Nick: "Heck, yeah, I'm gonna win this!"

Too late for that.

Nick: "Heck, yeah, Daniel's gonna win this!"

That's better.

Andrae: "So, we're making a dress or some permutation thereof."

Santino: "If that means 'send the model down the runway in pasties and a maxi pad,' then yes, that's what we're doing."

The designers meet with Collier Strong for the styling session:

Santino: "Only do half the model's face."

Chloe: "It doesn't matter what you do because right before the show I'm going to freak out and say it's all wrong, anyway."

Daniel: "Just make her pretty."

Chloe tells us what a big deal this runway show is:

Chloe: "Most young designers would never get to show at Olympus Fashion Week."

Daniel: "You're not that young, honey."

Tim pulls out a velvet bag full of Rummikub tiles and tells the designers they have to play to determine the order that they will be showing in the tent. It will be Daniel, Chloe, and then Santino:

Chloe: "That's perfect."


Chloe: "I don't know. I just thought something needed to be said."

Tim: "Don't forget to pile on the Banana Republic accessories! Which reminds me, Daniel, Banana Republic has many lovely handbags."

Daniel: "You are not talking me out of using the bags I made."

Tim: "It was worth a try."

On the day of the show the designers go to the tent and put the final touches on their collections:

Daniel: "Does anyone know how to sew? Because I haven't started working on my collection yet and I don't have much time left."

Daniel's hideous purses go missing:

Tim: "Don't look at me."

Daniel: "You're telling me you had nothing to do with this."

Tim: "Well, I won't lie to you. I didn't physically take them but I did put it out there in the universe that I wanted those purses gone. Yes, I used The Secret to get rid of your purses."

Daniel: "Damn you, Oprah! You are going to pay for this!"

Nick: "Heck, yeah, he's gonna win this!"

Oh, will you give it up, Nick? OK, so who is looking for those purses?

Daniel: "Well, a thousand people should be looking for them but I don't know who actually is."

Really? A thousand people should be looking for those purses? It's more likely that a thousand people would be burning those purses. Unfortunately, someone finds the purses:

Tim: "That's it! I'm cancelling my subscription to O!"

Heidi is looking super cute in Michael Kors. She does a little spin on the runway for us. She introduces the judges:

Heidi: "And our celebrity guest judge is the star of Will and Grace, my best friend slash arch enemy, Karen Walker!"

Karen Walker: "Ah, thanks, sweety. Now get me a drink, bitch!"

Heidi: "Isn't she the best? We go way back. We met doing lines of coke at Mick Jaggar's house in the 1980s."

Karen Walker: "Yeah. I was dating Seal at the time and you stole him from me, you whore!"

Heidi: "You weren't dating him! You had him handcuffed to your bed!"

Karen Walker: "Tomato, tomahto."

Anyway, let's start the show!

Daniel: "I just want to say ... ummmm ..."

Fascinating. Let's see the clothes.

Other Eric likes them. He thinks Daniel should win. I think they are pretty but really boring. I just don't really see anything you wouldn't already find in a store. I do like a couple of his tops and, of course, the 13th look is adorable.

Karen Walker: "They look like clothes you would buy at Banana Republic."

Hiedi: "You are so full of shit, Karen. When have you ever shopped at Banana Republic?"

Karen Walker: "I went there once when Jack worked there. And I love hanging out at the mall with my step daughter. I like shopping for cute tops at The Limited [gag] or buying a nice print at Z Gallery [sound of vomiting]. See, I have a great respect for poor people."

On to Chloe (would it have killed her to wear heels?):

Chloe: "This collection was like giving birth. There is a lot of screaming and pushing and you'll probably want an epidural."

Yep, that pretty much describes my reaction to this collection.

Karen Walker: "This is one of the best drag queen fashion shows I've ever attended."

Santino is next:

Santino: "Whether you love to hate me or hate to love me ..."

Those are our two choices?

Santino: "My mom's the shit!"

Santino's Mom: "I never get tired of hearing that."

I really like Santino's collection. There are a couple of pieces I hate but there are several pieces I love, which is more than I can say for the other two collections. And I don't think they fit particularly badly; they aren't supposed to fit tight in the bust. I don't think any of Santino's pieces fit as poorly as the dress Daniel has on Rebecca. But the judges don't think they fit correctly. Part of that could also be due to the fact that his models didn't show up for their fittings.

Karen Walker: "What the hell is this shit? I can't believe I'm sitting here when I have some very important drinking I need to do. At least at that fake fashion show that Kara girl had some killer weed."

What do the viewers think?:

Jay McCarroll: "I hate Daniel's collection so I predict he will win."

Kara Saun: "I predict Santino will win. He reminds me of a young me. But enough about him; let's talk about how great I am. I've shown here at Fashion Week several times, you know. And I've designed for many celebrities."

Does anyone predict Chloe will win?

Chad from People Magazine: "Can I talk to Daniel? He's hot!"

Anyone for Chloe? Anyone?

Kay Unger: "I think Chloe will win because she's a great businesswoman."

That's great. Who the hell are you?

On to the judging:

Heidi: "Tell us what you have that the other two designers don't."

Santino: "Well, for starters, I have a dick."

Daniel: "You're a bitch. I should win because Santino is mean and Chloe already has a business. And I'm the only one who has my point of view."

Chloe: "Thanks for that, Lupe. Do you have any businesswoman specials? Because that's what I am: a businesswoman."

What business are you in?

Chloe: "I invented Post-it notes."

Nina: "Santino, there was not enough Santino in your collection. I wanted to hate it a lot more than I did."

Santino's collection is not cohesive and he is out.

Daniel: "My collection was a mix of military and Japanese sleekness."

Karen Walker: "I've had sex with Lucy Liu so I think I know about Japanese sleekness. And this isn't it."

Nina: "Well, Lucy Liu isn't Japanese but the drunken slut has a point: I don't see Japanese sleekness in this collection, either."

Daniel is inexperienced and his collection had no story. He's out:

Micheal: "Call me."

Chloe Wins because she understands women's bodies as long they are really tall and thin and because she is a businesswoman and this was a competition to find the next great American businesswoman.

Well, that's the end of season two! I want to thank everyone for reading and of course a big thanks to Tom and Lorenzo at Project Rungay for deciding to blog about season one and two on DVD! It was a lot of fun!


Anonymous said...

Which Eric is the Mary; which the Rhoda?

(One of my favorite guilty-pleasure movies.)

Now, let's fold scarves!

-- desertwind

eric3000 said...

Ha ha! That took me a minute; I had to reread my post. I had forgotten that I referenced Romy and Michele.

Obviously, I'm Mary!

TheGayBoys said...

Thank YOU for all the fabulous recaps!