Shear Genius Season Two, episode six: Kim Vo is on crack!
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I'm back! Thanks to other Eric for filling in for me last week! He did such a good job that I'm not convinced that I didn't write it myself! I just got back last night so I'm busy trying to catch up with everything.
Recapping last week, the guest judge demonstrated that there are other European hair stylists with accents almost as silly as Rene's. Who knew? The designers created some pretty bad styles for some bald women; most of the women looked better in the wigs they came in with. Nicole did a really good job, even though she cried through the whole thing. She should have won. Instead, Paulo won. Gail was cut. Nekisa miraculously lives to cut another day. And, though Other Eric finds Charley annoying, I find I like him more every week.
On to this week: The designers enter the studio and Paulo's work is up on the Allure Wall of Horrors:
Jaclyn: "Congratulations, Paulo. Your client's hair looked just like my hair. If my hair were a really bad wig."
The quickfire is about creating really fake color. And nobody knows fake like Kim Vo.
In come the mental patients. I mean the clients. The geniuses start working on making their hair bright blue and fuchsia and yellow and purple. But not green. Because that would look bad.
Dee: "I usually work in a color pyramid with light at the top. But this time I'm reversing it and putting light at the bottom and also at the top and maybe in the middle. And on the sides. And then I'm going to turn the pyramid into a parallelogram."
OK, I was surprised at the results. I thought they were all going to look really stupid but some of the colors actually look kind of nice. I especially liked Dee's. The bright yellow hair in front was amazingly pretty. Why did this look good? Am I on crack?
Paulo and Nekisa are at the bottom. Nekisa blames the sink. Poor Nekisa. Even the plumber is conspiring against her.
Charlie wins. It should have been Dee.
Dee: "Kim Vo is on crack."
Oh, thank god. I thought it was me.
Charlie wins immunity in the elimination challenge. Finally something worth fighting for. But he won't be able to win.
Nekisa starts complaining:
Nekisa: "It's not fair!"
Jaclyn: "Nekisa, sometimes it's important to remember that life isn't always fair."
Nekisa: "You're not my mom!"
Anyway, back at the house, Charlie and Nekisa are arguing. As usual, I don't understand the argument. Something about whether Charlie's ego is bigger than Nekisa's boobs. Who cares?
The next day, the geniuses get to the studio and Rene's voice is on a speaker and he's doing a surprisingly good John Forsythe imitation. Surprisingly good considering it's Rene, that is. He introduces Jaclyn, who explains the Charlie's Angels challenge. Charlie will have a special role in this Charlie's Angels challenge and OMG I just realized why Charlie won the quickfire! Dee's Angels just wouldn't have been as good!
Nekisa: "This is so unfair!"
You can say that again!
So the geniuses are split into teams of two and each team of two will be styling three women who represent the three original Angels. So that's one and a half Angels each, right? I'm so bad at math.
Charlie will be floating around checking on all the Angels. I really have no idea what his role is supposed to be. It's very strange.
Paolo explains again, because his client didn't get to see the first episode of the show, that he had a crush on Jaclyn Smith EVEN THOUGH HE'S GAY! Then Daniel calls for a jihad on vaginas.
On to the hairway with guest judge Kate Jackson.
I think team Nicole and Glenn did the best job. All three of their Angels looked OK. I thought all the other Angels were pretty bad. Nekisa's Farrah was especially awful:
Nekisa: "That's not fair! I've seen pictures of Carrie Underwood with hair like that!"
Kim: "Seriously? You're using Carrie Underwood as your argument?"
Kate tells a charming story about Jaclyn and Farrah brushing their hair:
Kate: "And then I said, 'Hey, guys, let the money brush the hair.'"
Everyone has a good laugh.
No, seriously, what the hell is she talking about? Am I the only one who has no idea what that means?
On to the judging:
Jaclyn: "Everyone please wait in the salon so Kate and I can talk about our amazing hair and how nothing could possibly compete with it's shine, body, and movement."
The judges are so disappointed with all the styles that they decide there will be no winner. Glenn and Nekisa are the bottom two. It's obvious who will be sent home.
But, for some reason, Glenn is sent home, instead! WTF?
Jaclyn: "Now, if you'll excuse us, Kate and I have to get back to talking about our hair."
Kate: "Do you remember what a bitch Farrah was?"