Final Top Design Floor Plan Post! Really!

OK, so here is my final idea for the loft spaces used for the finale of Top Design. Excuse the quality but Eric had to photograph my drawing with his camera since we don't have a scanner. This design goes beyond what was really possible on the show but this is what I would do if I had a little more time to remodel the space.

The plan is from the Santa Fe Lofts web site and it is the same unit but they have changed the end of the loft where the front door used to be. In the units used on Top Design there was a series of small hallways leading off the main stairwell that led to the unit's front door and then over to the fire exit. In the new design they have incorporated those hallways into the unit, creating a better space and room for a walk-in closet. The kitchen door is now used as the main door. Obviously Matt and Carissa were not able to do this but since the building has done it I thought I would include the change in my dream design.

The other major change I have done is to completely rearrange the kitchen and bathroom. This probably would have involved too much plumbing work for the five days they had on Top Design, but with a little more time it shouldn't be much of a problem. The plumbing is in roughly the same place (in fact, I haven't even moved the toilet). I've created a more private bathroom and a more open, bright kitchen.

I've created a separate vanity area for the bathroom, which I think is very important if people are sharing one bathroom. I know big, open bathrooms are very trendy now because people apparently like sitting on the toilet in front of their loved ones. Personally, I prefer a little privacy, so a separate vanity area is very useful. Next to the bathroom is a laundry closet. I've also included a small linen or coat closet by the front door, which uses the wasted corner from the kitchen.

The front door opens to an entrance hall that leads out to the living/dining area. The furniture is just to demonstrate the amount of space. You can see there is plenty of room to move things around or add different pieces. I like a kitchen that has windows and is open to the living areas. It isn't a huge kitchen but, if organized well, it should be very functional.

The bedrooms are very spacious and one would make a very nice office. Yes, there is a bit of a walk to the bathroom but, in this long, L-shaped loft with the plumbing down at one end, some room is always going to have to be a long walk to the bathroom. At least it's a pretty direct route down the inside corner of the apartment. The master bedroom has a door to the fire exit. For some reason this bothers Eric. I guess he wants to be trapped in the event of a fire. Personally, I think the bedroom is the best place to have a fire escape.

So, anyway, that's my ultimate two bedroom plan for that loft. If you haven't, check out Linda Merrill's ::Surrounding:: site for a loft design challenge. The winners were announced this past Thursday. Thanks again, Linda; it was fun!

Project Runway Season Two Finale, Part 1: The Designer Who Shagged Me!

In this exciting sequel, Dr. Evil travels back in time to the year 2006 to steal Daniel Vosovic's mojo!

Daniel: "What?! But without my mojo I'll be powerless against Tim's critiques and the judges' cutting remarks!"

What designer from the future could possibly be working with Dr. Evil to sabotage Daniel's career?!

Santino: "Don't look at me. Seriously, it's a great plan but I had nothing to do with it. I was too busy working on my humanizing background story."

Well, it isn't Chloe. She doesn't even want to win. Who could it be?

Dr. Evil: "There is only one person on earth more evil than I am. That's right: Wendy Pepper!"

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

So we start off part one of the finale with Heidi reminding us what the prizes are:

Heidi: "The winner of project runway will get a new Saturn, a Kenmore Pro kitchen, the opportunity to punch Daniel Franco in the nuts, a gift certificate for $100 at Banana Republic, any babies I happen to deliver during filming, and an internship applying bronzer to Michael Kors."

OK, that's way too many prizes.

Tim visits the designers in their natural habitats. First is Santino. He's holding up three fingers, representing the remaining three designers:

Santino: "So this finger on the left in Daniel and I'll push him down and then this finger on the right is Chloe and I'll push her down and then I'm the finger in the middle and I'll be the only one left and that's how I'll win."

Well, good luck!

Santino: "What do you mean, 'Good luck'? I'm flipping you the bird, you idiot!"

What? Well, that's just rude.

Anyway, Tim visits Santino at the house he's renting in Hollywood. I have no idea how he can afford that house. He tells Tim the theme of his collection:

Santino: "It's Forties glamour boudoir rocker debutant chicken-and-waffles S&M dressy-casual. With a twist of lemon."

Tim: "Ooh, I'll have a twist of lemon!"

Santino takes Tim to the beach:

Tim: "Why does everyone take me to the beach? Do I look like a fucking beach person?"

Then they visit Santino's friend, the model Tony Ward. I am not at all surprised to learn that Eric actually knows who this is. Tony's children climb on Santino and get their cuteness all over him.

Tim drives his tiny Saturn Roadster to New York. We watch a little picture of a car move from left to right across a map of the United States. Well, that's how they should have done it. He visits Daniel V.:

Daniel: "Let's go shopping!"

Tim: "Yay!"

They try to find Daniel a slim-cut blazer:

Tim: "Maybe you could get Nick to make one for you."

Daniel: "That's not funny. I loved that suit."

Tim: "Oh, sorry."

Daniel: "I'm just messing with you. It was shit."

So they find a blazer that fits perfectly and I'm just wondering why I can't find anything that fits? Daniel is as skinny as I am; why does everything I try on look like a tent? He must be a little taller than I am so maybe his shoulders are a bit wider.

Tim visits Chloe in Houston:

Chloe: "I don't have any clothes done."

Tim: "That's OK. Show me some sketches."

Chloe: "Yeah, I don't do sketches."

Tim: "I drove all the way from New York. Without stopping. In a tiny red Saturn Roadster. With the top down. In the rain. Show me something."

Chloe: "Well, I have this bolt of fabric."

Tim: "You'll have to do better than that."

Chloe: "I can have all my sisters line up on the stairs like the kids in the Brady Brunch."

Tim: "Now you're talking."

So we learned a little bit more about the designers this week. Let's compare their sob stories:

Santino: "I was homeless."

Chloe: "I had to live in a refugee camp."

Daniel: "I had to endure being gay in a loving, accepting, upper-middle-class white family."

OK, I think Chloe wins that round. But let me tell you a real sob story: I'm so skinny I can't even find a blazer that fits. Really; I eat and eat and eat absolutely anything I want and I just can't gain weight! It's awful! ... What? Why is everyone looking at me like they want to kill me?

The designers go to their hotel in Times Square to get ready for Fashion Week. Tim looks at their collections. Chloe's looks very Balenciaga, Santino has this beautiful sunburst pleating that Tim is loving, and apparently Daniel's is just perplexing:

Daniel: "I am so offended that Tim is not piddling his panties over my clothes. I don't think that's too much to expect."

Tim: "Daniel, it's just that you're my favorite and I was expecting more from you."

Daniel: "That's so unfair!"

Tim: "That's life. Would you like for me to say that in French?"

Daniel: "No, that's OK. I know that one."

Tim: "Get down here on the floor with me."

Daniel: "I'm not falling for that again."

Tim: "No, I just want to show you this hem."

Daniel: "Oh, sure."

Daniel shows Tim the amazingly ugly handbags he made:

Tim: "It would be a shame if those went missing right before the runway show."

Daniel: "What?"

Tim: "Nothing."

The designers go to Michael Kors's studio and pick models:

Santino: "I should have picked homely girls, like Chloe did. The homely girls are always so grateful that they will show up for fittings."

Chloe: "Yeah, they taught me that in pattern-making school, asshole!"

Daniel: "Um, excuse me. Has anyone seen my mojo? It was in a glass vial that I had here on the table, right next to this picture of Wendy Pepper's daughter with a mustache drawn on it ... hey, wait a minute; where did that picture come from?"

Will Daniel find his mojo? Tune in next week to find out!

Check out the fabulous Los Angeles subway system! (that doesn't actually exist!)

This is a fantasy map (to get a larger image paste this into your browser: thetransitcoalition.us/ConNP01.htm) produced by The Transit Coalition, a dedicated group of freaks who think we should have decent public transportation in Los Angeles. Keep dreaming, freaks!

Shear Genius Recap, Top Design Floor Plan Challenge, and The Mexican Riviera!

What do these three things have in common?

Well, all of them will be mentioned in this post, silly!

First of all my Shear Genius recap is up, over on Bravissimo:

Episode Three: Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

You can also check out my two previous Shear Genius recaps:

Episode Two: Roots: the Nexxus Generation!

Episode One: Iron Hair!

Second: all the floor plans are in for the Top Design Floor Plan Challenge, over at :::Surroundings::: Go vote for your favorite! You only have until Wednesday to help pick a winner!

Third: Please let me know about your experiences with Princess Cruise Lines or the Mexican Riviera. Eric and I are taking a seven night cruise on the Golden Princess to Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlan, and Cabo San Lucas at the beginning of October and would love to hear any advice.

I have a big birthday coming up this summer (it ends in a zero!) so I thought I should do something fun. Originally I thought I should probably have a party since I've never had a birthday party (since I was a child) and it seemed like about time. But when I thought about how much I hate parties, it seemed like a stupid way to celebrate. Don't get me wrong, I like people, I just don't like big parties. They make me uncomfortable.

So, instead, I decided to go someplace I've never been before and I want to do a little snorkeling, because I love that and I never get to do it. You can't really snorkel in Los Angeles and, surprisingly, the snorkeling isn't very good in London either, which is where we usually seem to end up on holiday. (I did get to snorkel on Oahu last year and loved it!) So, first I thought Caribbean but was worried about hurricane season and the Mexican Riviera was closer and cheaper. Eric suggested a cruise, since that's what he has always wanted to do. So it was set.

We almost took the Norwegian Star because it is 8 nights and goes all the way down to Acapulco but a travel agent friend told us not to take Norwegian so we are taking Princess, which thrills Eric because Princess was the cruise line used for the Love Boat. Anyway, we have a balcony room so we can escape the crowds. Unfortunately we won't get much time in port. I'm planning to snorkel in Puerto Vallarta and Cabo and do a land excursion in Mazatlan. I'd love to see more of Mexico but that will have to wait for another trip.

I've never been to Mexico and I've never been on a cruise. Let me know if you have any tips. Thanks!

Project Runway Recap, Season Two Reunion: Whatever.

Before we begin, I'd just like to remind you not to punch Daniel Franco in the nuts. You are going to want to but please don't. I'm begging you; just resist the urge. Thank you.

OK; boy, I really don't remember this reunion being quite so boring the first time I watched it. It probably would have helped if I had dropped some acid so I could understand what Lupe was saying but all I had was Corona. The designers, on the other hand, were completely shit-faced. And they are not particularly fun drunks.

Anyway, they show up at the party in the order they were eliminated while we watch clips of their humiliation. It's cool to see some of the designers: Kirsten is 17 months pregnant, Kara is engaged, John looks like he's lost 60 pounds:

Billy Crystal: "60 pounds? That's a Back Street Boy!"

That makes absolutely no sense. And it isn't even remotely funny.

Billy Crystal: "Who pissed in your cornflakes? That joke kills in Dubuque."

Tim and Heidi talk with the designers about things that happened on the show:

Heidi: "Nick's Barbie sold like Pillsbury Toaster Strudel."

Tim: "I think you mean hotcakes."

Heidi: "Hotcakes. Interesting. I've never heard that. In Germany we say Pillsbury Toaster Strudel. They sell really well there. Do you have Pillsbury Toaster Strudel in this country?"

Tim: "Will you shut up about the stupid Pillsbury Toaster Strudel?!"

Heidi: "Have you tried them? They're delicious!"

Tim: "I think I'm going to lose my mind."

We get clips of Santino saying mean things:

Santino: "I'm better than all of you, you turd polishers!"

Chloe: "That's just rude."

Santino: "I think I'm a better designer and I'm confident I will win."

Oh, my god! How could he say something so outrageous?!

Daniel Franco: "I will defend the honor of designers everywhere. Santino, I challenge you to a duel. Who will be your second?"

Santino: "Dude, what's wrong with you?"

Daniel Franco: "Chicks dig it when you stand up for their honor. And I love the ladies. I don't mean I just think they are cool; I mean I like to have sex with them."

Yes, we know.

Lupe: "I LOVE SANTINO!!!!!"

Wow, turn down the volume a little there, Lupe.

Tim: "Lupe, we have a question for you from a viewer."

Lupe: "Yay!! What did I win? Oh, right; I can answer that question. I believe that I have my own personal beliefs and no one else can believe that I have beliefs. You know what I mean? I feel really strongly about that and I really appreciate that you took the time to come all the way down here to ask me that question."

Tim: "I haven't asked the question yet."

Lupe: "I agree, as well."

Tim: "Why do I even bother?"

Lupe: "Another excellent question! I love you, New York! You know, I remember when I was a little girl and Johnny Cash told me that everyone's personal response is personal and I just don't think you can argue with Johnny Cash."

Tim: "I wouldn't dream of it. Well, unfortunately, we've run out of time for viewer questions."

We learn about Shetange. Shetange is a tough bitch who doesn't stand for any bullshit. You do not want to get on Shetange's bad side.

Other Eric: "You know who Shetange reminds me of?"

Who?

Other Eric: "Zulema."

Uh, yeah. Why do you need an alter ego that is exactly the same as your regular personality?

Anyway, we learn about the softer side of Zulema:

Zulema: "The reason I took Nick's model is because I really wanted my model to have the opportunity to work with another designer and grow as a person."

Oh. She did it for the well-being of the model. OK, then.

Heidi: "Andrae, we have a question about your many accents. Basically, we want to know why you talk like such a freak? We know it's fake because you are from Los Angeles and everyone there is fake. You're all actors, right?"

That is such a stereotype! I am so insulted! To suggest that everyone here is an actor when obviously some of us are movie producers is just outrageous!

Arnold Schwarzenegger: "And don't forget that some of us are the governor of California."

Good point!

Tune in next week when Tim travels the country in a red Saturn sports car!

Update on Top Design Loft Challenge!




Linda Merrill of :::Surroundings::: is hosting a design challenge. Think you can design a better space for the lofts used in the final challenge of Top Design? Well, show us! Go over to :::Surroundings::: and get all the information. There will be a poll to determine a winner and there will be a prize! I don't think a deadline has been announced but get those entries in soon!

Click here for the main Loft Challenge entry with the contest instructions!

And keep checking back to the main :::Surroundings::: site for new entries!

Here's mine:

Sorry about the quality but I printed out the basic floor plan, drew on it, used wite-out on it, taped pictures of furniture on it, photocopied the finished product, then faxed it to Linda, who scanned it and posted it! Yeah, that picture's been through a lot!

Anyway, Linda did a terrific job with the floor plan. We didn't have the exact measurements so everything is approximate but I think it's pretty close. One interesting note is that you can look at some floor plans at the Santa Fe Lofts website and one of the plans shows the loft used on the show (it looks different because the bathroom is smaller and the main entrance has been closed off to make a walk-in closet, but it's the same plan). There are no measurements on the plan so it doesn't help in recreating it perfectly but the interesting part is that it says the total square footage is 1,400 square feet. On the show we are told the lofts are 1,700 square feet. That's a big difference!

I designed it for Matt's needs for a master bedroom and a smaller child's room. The master bedroom takes up the general footprint of the daughter's room on his plan but I attached it to the window to make it bigger. So this adds windows to the bedroom without really taking away any of the living space.

I added the smaller bedroom in the oddly-shaped, mostly unused entry space by the front door and moved the front door to the kitchen. I think in a loft apartment it is appropriate to enter near the kitchen and this door actually opens into a hall space leading into the living rooms so I think that works fine. Alternately, if you really want to keep the front door where it was, you could add a hallway above at the top of the smaller bedroom, which would create a very small, narrow space that is roughly the same size and shape of the room Matt created for his daughter. the difference is that this space would have windows.

I like having a nice open kitchen. That wasn't really possible here but I removed the hall closet to add a breakfast area and open up the kitchen a little bit to the main living areas. I think that connects the spaces a little bit and you should actually be able to see some of the windows from the kitchen.

So, those are my ideas. Get your ideas in to Linda!

Project Runway Season Two, Episode 11: Whose Line is it, Anyway?

For those of you just joining us, the boys of Project Rungay are blogging season two of Project Runway on DVD and I'm blogging along with them.

We start the episode with everyone bitching about Santino:

Kara: "Bitch, bitch, bitch."

Chloe: "Bitch, bitch, bitch."

Daniel: "Bitch, bitch, bitchety-bitch."

There's even a note on the blackboard from Nick:

Nick: "Dear Daniel, bitch, bitch, bitch."

OK. I get it: Santino sucks and he shouldn't be there.

Santino: "Bottom line is my design was better than Nick's."

Daniel: "I can't believe he's pretending his garment was well made."

He didn't say that, dummy. He said his design was better.

Then we are back on the runway so Chloe can keep Grace and we can finally get rid of Gumby the model. Chloe looks so pretty and she's wearing more makeup than usual. Oh, yeah, it's because we've gone back in time and we are in a scene that was shot at right after the last runway show. Chloe is still wearing her prostitute makeup but she's pulled her hair back and she's in normal clothes so she actually looks good again after Daniel horrible makeover.

The designers take a field trip to visit Fern Mallis. The designers pretend to know who she is. I'm just kidding; everyone knows who Fern Mallis is.

Kara: "She's the one who lets people into the tent."

OK. So she's some sort of bouncer who works the door at a circus? No; of course she runs 7th on Sixth, which runs Olympus Fashion Week. Or something like that.

So Fern tells the designers that the most important thing in the fashion industry is being nice. Well, obviously. I mean, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of the fashion industry is just how nice everyone is. Isn't that right, Donatella?

Donatella Versace: "GET OUT!!!!"

Exactly! So Daniel glares at Santino to make sure he got the message:

Daniel: "I've been trying to tell Santino that if he would just be nice it wouldn't matter that his clothes all look like shit. But does he listen to me? no."

Yeah, that was subtle, Daniel. What a dick. OK, so they are going to make an evening gown that will represent their final collections. This kind of sucks if you weren't going to have evening wear in your final collection:

Kara: "Word."

I have no problem with having a challenge to make an evening gown. I just think it was unfair to expect Kara to make an evening gown that represents a sportswear collection. Yes, most runway collections do include at least one evening gown but they don't have to.

The designers have $300 and two days (minus mandatory partying). After they buy fabric and start making their designs, Tim tells them they are designing for Iman and she will wear the dress to a "big event."

What big event?

Tim: "Don't you worry about it. It will be big. Have I ever exaggerated the bigness of anything before?"

Yes. You presented both Nancy O'Dell and Nickie Hilton as big celebrities.

Tim: "OK, fine! Iman will wear the dress to a very minor event. Are you satisfied?"

The designers are then forced to have a good time and get drunk right when they are trying to finish their designs. Don't get me wrong; the party looks fun. But why didn't they have it after this challenge instead of in the middle of it?

Jay, Kara Saun, and Austin are there and they give the designers advice:

Austin: "Be really thin."

Kara Saun: "Cheat early and often."

Jay: "I hope you all die."

They are so inspiring! Anyway, now that the designers are drunk, they get to work until 1:00 in the morning! The next day Chloe is ironing her sheets at the Atlas, for some reason. Oh, no, sorry; that's her dress.

On the runway, Iman joins Nina, Michael, and Heidi. For those of you who do not know who Iman is, she is the author of the book The Beauty of Color. She starts off the questions:

Iman: "Daniel, why did you make such a boring dress?"

Daniel: "I can create a beautiful dress with my eyes closed. So that's what I did."

[Blank stares from the judges]

Santino started out with a beautiful dress in a gold fabric that would have been perfect for Iman. Unfortunately, he covered it with fish scales:

Iman: "Why did you do that?"

Santino: "I was kidnapped by mermaids and forced to make nothing but the most beautiful dresses for them. Then I went on this odyssey and found a golden fleece and that's what I made this dress out of."

Judges: "What were you drinking last night?"

Kara's dress actually looked pretty good coming down the runway. It's pretty basic but the racer back is very cool and makes it more interesting than Daniel's. Unfortunately, the close-ups reveal that it is horribly wrinkled and the hem looks bad. I would say that this challenge threw her and she resorted to making a basic black dress because she doesn't know what else to make for evening wear, but she also made a basic black dress for the inspiration challenge, when she could have made anything she wanted.

Judges: "If you can't show your personal style in this challenge, how are we supposed to believe you will show us anything in a runway show?"

Kara: "Just trust me. It will be 'BAM'!"

Judges: "We don't know what that means but we aren't interested. Chloe, tell us about your dress."

Chloe: "Yes, Nina, I wanted her to look like she has a big, fat ass!"

Nina: "What? I didn't say anything."

Chloe: "Oh, sorry; I was just a little defensive after something Tim said."

But, in fact, her dress does look pretty crappy. It's all puckered in the seams and the ass is all saggy. It's too bad it doesn't fit better because, again, it's still more interesting than Daniel's.

Michael says that Santino's is like a 'Belly Dancers Gone Wild' video. Iman say's Chloe's is too Carolina Herrera. They think Kara's just generally sucks. That leaves Daniel's boring dress:

Iman: "Yes, it's boring; but if I'm wearing the dress it will be amazing!"

She has a point: no one is going to be looking at her dress, anyway. Daniel wins immunity for the finale, which means he wins season two of Project Runway! Congratulations Daniel!

OK, just kidding.

The designers are each asked which one of the other designers should not be going to Fashion Week with them. Chloe picks Santino because he can't sew. Santino picks Chloe because she can sew. No, actually he picks her because he thinks she's a pattern maker and not a designer. I really thought he was going to pick Kara, since that's who he's always said doesn't deserve to be there. After all the bitching, obviously Daniel and Kara are going to pick Santino, right? Wrong! They both pick Chloe! So everyone picks Chloe even thought she's clearly one of the few who actually deserves to be going to Fashion Week. What's up with that? Are they that threatened by her? I think her thoughtless comments earlier about not being sure about wanting to be there just planted the seed in the other designers' heads that she would make a good scapegoat. But just to be nice, one of them could have chosen someone else. Obviously, the whole thing was pointless since it didn't have an effect on the judges' decision.

Kara is out. Sort of. She still gets to make a collection and show at Fashion Week but we have to pretend like she doesn't exist.

Kara: "My heartbeat is right next to my heart."

I have no idea what she's talking about but I think maybe she needs a doctor.

Top Design Loft Floor Plan Challenge!

The talented Linda Merrill of ::surroundings:: has created a basic floor plan of the loft spaces used in the final challenge on Top Design and is hosting a challenge. Can you figure out a way to use the space better? I know I'll be submitting an entry! I love floor plans! Fun!

Check out Linda's post here!

Bravissimo: Altered States of Reality!

From the people who brought you Blogging Top Chef and Top Design Blogger there is a new site called Bravissimo! Bravissimo will be mainly devoted to Bravo reality shows. I may contribute posts about Shear Genius. Check it out!

Top Design Recap: Season Finale Shocker!

My final recap for season one of Top Design is up, over on Top Design Blogger! And at these prices it won't last long! Don't miss out; go read it now!