Oscar Red Carpet Review!

It sucked.

Seriously, that was bad. The arrivals coverage was worse than usual and all the dresses were boring. Why did some woman keep telling us she was getting emails from Denmark? Who the hell gives a rat's ass? We just want to see dresses; lose all the other pointless shit!

As for dresses, way too much black. Some of the black dresses were probably really pretty in person but on television the detail doesn't show up very well. I wanted interesting color! Nothing was really bad except for Daniel Day Lewis's wife and Tilda Swinton. Look, I love a dress that is different but it also needs to be pretty and Swinton's dress just looked like a sack. Randolph Duke seemed to miss that Heidi Klum was wearing red for heart awareness because he thought the color was just too much. He also thought her hair was too much; I guess she was supposed to shave her head.

Anyway, Other Eric has more live coverage of the arrivals.