Sorry! Can't do it this season! I love writing these posts, but they do take up most of my weekends and I just don't have enough time right now.

"I don't understand why we need to explain ourselves to THEM!"

Well, Nina, I thought the polite thing would be to at least put up a quick post so people don't wonder what happened to me.

NINA: "Do what you like. I answer only to God."

People of Earth,

NBC asked me to move my blog to a later time-slot but I wanted to let you know I will still be recapping the new season of Project Runway, which starts tomorrow. I may not get to it until Saturday, but fear not, I will do it.

Eric3000

More adventures in babysitting!

So last night I spent half an hour standing in line at Sephora behind Markie Post and let me just say that if you have to stand in line at a store with the slowest customer service on earth to buy a small tub of Dirt that costs more than caviar (For that price, there should be real dirt in there!), there are worse people to be standing behind than Markie Post. Stars: they hum along to Christmas music ... JUST LIKE US!

Anyway, after I finally escaped from the mall, I went to babysit for a friend's son. Julian's nanny was at the house and she apparently didn't know who I was. I've met her before but I guess she forgot and she was told to expect Eric and obviously she was expecting the Other Eric. So she asked Julian if he knew who I was and he nodded halfheartedly. OK, good enough. She left the baby with a total stranger.

Poor little guy was not feeling well and wouldn't eat dinner. He usually wants to play with cars but, instead, he said he wanted to go "rest." Other Eric arrived and read to him for a bit in bed and finally he started talking about some Cars short where a car is on fire and has to go to the car hospital and Mater is the car doctor, or something like that. Other Eric actually knew what he was talking about. At the end of his story, Julian toppled over and started snoring.

No dinner, no bath, he didn't pee or brush his teeth, he was still dressed in jeans and he was sound asleep. Worst babysitters ever! I thought maybe I could at least change him into his pajamas without waking him up so I started undressing him. But I think he thought his mama had come home to tuck him in because at first he was half asleep and giggling a little and then he slowly woke up and opened his eyes and then he wasn't happy anymore. He was obviously thinking, "Hey, this isn't my mama. It's just some guy trying to take my pants off." So then he commanded:

Julian: "I want to be alone."

Alright, Marlene Dietrich, I'll leave you alone! Sheesh.

Cantaloupe? Oh, yes we did!



Yesterday the Erics got married in the cute little Tuscany Chapel at The Hollywood Wedding Chapel in West Hollywood! It was a very sweet, simple service performed by the Rev. Lorelei and attended by a couple of friends. It was really lovely and I highly recommend The Hollywood Chapel for all your wedding needs. They also do beach weddings or other locations but their two chapels on Santa Monica Blvd. (we were in the smaller of the two) is perfect if you don't want to reserve a church or make a bunch of other plans.


We didn't want to make a fuss so, originally, we thought we would get married at the courthouse in West Hollywood but we waited too long and they got booked up. We also couldn't do it in Beverly Hills because they were also fully booked by the time we got our license! So they gave us an appointment at the courthouse near the Los Angeles International Airport, which didn't sound very nice to begin with, but the date also turned out to be problematic. So then we were able to get another date at the Norwalk courthouse, which is the main courthouse for Los Angeles County, for October 31st. We were not thrilled with that, either. Getting married on Halloween in some city we've never been to just seemed depressing.

So, then Eric found The Hollywood Chapel and it was such a lovely, yet inexpensive, alternative to the courthouse and we were able to do it on November first, which will make our anniversary very easy to remember! We got the elopement special and kept it very casual. We were in jeans and dress shirts and wore leis that my mom had shipped from Hawaii. Afterwards, we went down the pub for pints and fried food. Perfect!

Anyway, I just wanted to put up a little post about our day. Thanks to everyone for your kind wishes!

Ted Stevens, Top Design, and High School Musical!

What do these things have in common? Absolutely nothing. Why would they? I just felt like mentioning them all in one post. Do you have a problem with that?

First, Ted Stevens was just found guilty. The most shocking thing about this whole sordid story is that it took him forty years of corruption to build that totally shitty house in Alaska. Seriously, have you seen that dump? When I saw the house I thought it must be the "before" picture but, no, that's what it really looks like. It reminds me of the movie The Jerk, when Steve Martin gets rich and his family rebuilds their shack into a gigantic version of the exact same shack. I'm pretty sure if I were as big a criminal as he is I would have a much nicer house than that. I almost feel sorry for him.

Second, I wanted to mention the Chandelier Challenge going on over at Blogging Top Design! Have you ever wanted to disappoint the amazing Margaret Russell? Well, now's your chance! You can design a room around a chandelier just like the designers did on Top Design and even have the opportunity to be judged by a Top Design judge! Will Margaret think you are a hack or next big thing? To be honest, it will probably be the former. But you never know! Seriously, check out the contest and submit an entry! There is a chance Margaret will actually see your design! No shit!

Third, if you have not seen High School Musical with several hundred screaming pre-teen girls then you have not had the full High School Musical experience! It is hilarious! And the movie is not horrible, either. Zach and Vanessa's love songs made me want to gauge my ears out but the rest of the movie was really fun! Except for the really annoying British girl, I liked the characters; the choreography is great; a few of the songs are enjoyable; and the chubby cheerleader is the most amazing dancer, which sends a very positive message to girls: it's OK to be overweight as long as you are a cheerleader. No, seriously, I really enjoyed watching her dance! There were some weird parts, like when Sharpay's gay twin brother almost came out of the closet while dancing with a hot shirtless guy and then he ends up falling in love with the girl who plays the piano because they both wear dumb hats. And, of course, the message of the movie is just as muddled as the last one (your friends are more important than your education?) But, all in all, I thought it was fun!

Eric Three Thousand now in 3D!

Through the miracle of science, my blog can now be viewed in 3D! I've incorporated that amazing technology from the posters they used to sell at the mall right into the basic template of my blog! All you have to do is go cross-eyed and stare at the screen for 45 minutes without blinking and you will start to see amazing 3D images! Have fun!

Kitchen Nightmares!

Did you see Gordon Ramsay last night? I've never watched his show before but he was at a restaurant called Sebastian's, which is right by our house so we watched. Eric, who has lived and worked in the area for many years, always said what a terrible reputation it has, nobody he knows ever goes there, and that it always looks empty.

But it was still stunning to see just how bad it is. The guy not only can't cook but he has no interest in cooking. He just likes calling himself a cook and heating up frozen food. Who wants to go to a restaurant to eat frozen food? All he is interested in is his restaurant's "concept," which he thinks is marketable. Apparently the concept is "bad food." I guess he thinks bad food is somehow a unique idea. Has he been to Applebee's?

And a big, confusing menu is not a new concept, either. Jerry's Famous Deli has been doing it for years but they must have realized this because they recently renovated the menu so that it is easier to read (it's organized more like a Cheesecake Factory menu now.)

Anyway, Gordon changed things around and made it so people might actually want to eat there and I was thinking I might give it a try. They were making fresh pizza dough and roasting chickens in a wood-fire oven and the food looked pretty good. But by the end of the program, and from what I've read on the Internet, it looks like Sebastian went back to his old menu of terrible food. Everyone who works at the restaurant really wants to make good food except for the owner. It's really sad.

[Update: OK, so according to Sebastian's website, it looks like he has revised his menu. It looks like maybe it's a combination of his old menu and the one Gordon Ramsay recommended for him. Now the question is whether he is using fresh ingredients. If I knew I weren't getting pre-packaged food I think I would give the place a try.]

Happy Halloween from Eric Three Thousand!

Here's our pumpkin! Last night I carved him up, ripped out his guts, toasted them with olive oil and kosher salt, and then served them with fava beans and a nice Chianti. Poor guy didn't know what hit him but the pumpkin seeds were good! Our first Halloween in the new house; I hope we get lots of trick-or-treaters! Have fun! [Update: we didn't get a single trick-or-treater; apparently they skip the townhomes and go to the nearby multi-million-dollar houses. What do we do with all this stupid candy?!]

New posts on Eric Three Thousand!

Make sure to go over to Other Eric's blog to read exciting news about our swimming pool!

Read my post below about the Republican power grab in California!

Read my recent updates on the home remodel!

Read about our cruise to the Mexican Riviera!

Also, I've enabled the word verification in my comments section because I've gotten some SPAM recently. Sorry for the inconvenience; please keep commenting!

I don't want to party like it's my birthday; I want to buy my house!

That's a Flipping Out reference, for those of you who are living under a rock and managed to miss the thousands of promos featuring that quote. Jeff was referring to the fact that Fitty Cent was accidentally playing on his CD player while he had an open house. He actually said "sell my house" instead of "buy my house."

Anyway, the reason I wrote that is because today is my birthday but I don't really feel like partying like it's my birthday (I never do) and Eric and I are closing on a house. It will be ours tomorrow! There is so much work to do on it! I think Eric said he will put up some pictures on his blog sometime today. And we will definitely be putting up pictures of our renovation efforts.

So ... I'm forty. Please feel free to picture me with my pants pulled up and kicking my leg in the air like Molly Shannon as Sally O'Mally.

Forty years old! Christ on a cracker!

High School Musical: Part Duh!

OK, I was forced to watch High School Musical: Part II this past weekend and thought I would share that pain with all of you. In fairness to Eric, he has to watch this crap because it is kind of part of his job. I have to admit that I missed part one so I was a little worried that I wouldn't know what was going on:

Other Eric: "It's a bunch of high school students and they sing and dance. That's pretty much all you need to know."

Alright. So apparently there is this short, skinny kid who is the most popular boy in school even though Eric says he didn't even sing his own songs in the first movie. So why did they cast him?

Other Eric: "Obviously because he's dreamy."

Well, yes, there is that. He has very pretty eyes. But his one acting emotion is a slight look of pain and/or constipation.

So this main kid has a girlfriend. And a black friend. And his friend makes inappropriate sexual comments about another girl, who I think they have all been going to school with but who he seems just to have noticed on the last day before summer vacation. The comments are the Disney equivalent of, "I'd tap that." Obviously they will become a couple by the end of the movie. Then there is the nerdy girl who looks like Andrea from 90210, who wears stupid hats and plays the piano. Constantly. And finally, there is the rich bitchy girl and her gay brother, although his gayness is never mentioned. Oh, yes, there is also a chubby girl and probably an Asian kid but I don't remember. They have all the bases covered. That's the cast.

Whether they are in a cafeteria or on a golf course they sound like they are singing inside a tin can. Eric likes some of the music and dancing.

Here's the basic plot: The main kid doesn't play softball with his friends because he is trying to get a scholarship to go to college. I know! What an asshole, right? Fortunately, by the end of the movie he has learned his valuable lesson: It is more important to make your friends happy than to get an education.

Other Eric: "That's not the valuable lesson! He learned that it is important to be true to yourself."

Really? I didn't get that at all. Oh, well.

Just for Laughs! It's the Freshmaker!

Did anyone see the show "Just for Laughs" on ABC? We didn't intentionally watch it. It's a practical joke show but the soundtrack is only music and enough canned laughter to lead you to believe that something funny is happening.

Other Eric: "Is this show European? Why is there no dialogue?"

Me: "I know! It's like a Mentos commercial!"

Well, we figured out why the show is so weird. It's from Canada!

Thanks, Canada!

Shout-Out Time! It's link-a-licious!

It's been a little while since I've lavished praises on everyone!

I was tagged with a Thinking Blogger Award (started at The Thinking Blog) by Doralong of What Would Jackie Wear so I just wanted to thank her for that. I'm supposed to tag five other thinking bloggers but I think I'll just mention some people here.

(This reminds me that the HoInMo tagged me a while ago on International Blogging Day to write about why I blog but I didn't get around to it then.)

First, let's go back into the mists of time, to the prehistoric period of Eric Three Thousand: January 2006:

The quick and yet still amazingly boring story about how I started blogging: It started with Other Eric (of Everything Eric) forcing me to watch Project Runway and me becoming obsessed. While reading Manolo's Shoe Blog I learned about Blogging Project Runway. At some point I had to create a blogger account in order to comment on BPR and that is how Eric3000 came to be. It turned out there was already a blog called Eric3000, though, so I had to actually name my blog Eric Three Thousand. I didn't really think much about it since I was the only Eric3000 commenting on BPR. Why Eric3000? I had a little crush on André Benjamin. Simple as that. (Oh, I've subsequently done searches and learned that there are a number of Eric3000s on the web. I've been thinking about finding all of them and doing a post about that.)

Anyway, my first actual post, in September of 2006, was about how disappointed I was in the stupid television show Fashion House! I know! Such humble beginnings. Soon after that, however, I started writing recaps of Project Runway, to which the wonderful people at BPR were kind enough to link. I got most of my early readers through BPR. I also have to thank the boys at Project Rungay for their early support!

But enough about me! Let's talk about you. What do you think of me? OK, seriously, as far as other thinking bloggers, I'd like to mention a few that I read regularly who write about serious as well as fun topics. One of my favorites is Lynette at Big Ass Bell. She updates her blog constantly and always finds interesting things to write about. There are two others who, like me, were writing a lot about Bravo programs and recently have been covering more political topics: Trixie at Kora in Hell and Ms. Place at Dishin' dat. (Let me also take this opportunity to mention Ms. Place's Jane Austen blog, Jane Austen's World, which I also love. I keep forgetting to add it to my links.)

Also check out my other links. I'm sure they are all thinking bloggers!

My, What Big Carbon Footprints You Have!

Six hours of Fergie at Wembly Stadium weren't enough for you last Sunday? Well, lucky you, she's screeching the same songs today for 22 straight hours in order to combat global warming!

OK, so while watching Madonna, Al Gore, Robert Redford, and (of course) Snoop Dog save the planet, I finally decided to try and figure out my carbon footprint. Have you tried to do this? Frankly, I was scared to do it, which is why it took me so long. I know I'm probably more eco-friendly than your average American but I know I can do a lot better.

Anyway, I tried about a dozen different carbon calculators online and they are pretty disappointing. They don't go into much detail and the results vary widely. I produce somewhere between four and ten tons of carbon a year and am somewhere between "below average" and "average" for an American. That's not very helpful. Actually, most of the sites said I was below average so that's good. One said I produce nine tons while the average American produces 18! I know, right? I've been holding back on my carbon emissions but I guess I can go crazy now!

So, like I said, I'm not very impressed by the accuracy of these calculators. But I did learn two interesting things. First, I took two flights in the past year and that could be responsible for as much as forty percent of my carbon emissions! Two flights are almost equal to a year's worth of driving and air-conditioning! I knew airplanes created a lot of pollution but I still found that surprising.

The second interesting thing I learned is that you can buy off the environment. Cheap. That's right, just like indulgences in the Catholic church, you can send money to environmental groups to make up for your carbon sins. One organization told me that I would be carbon neutral if I just send them $29 a year! Cool; that's much easier than conserving energy!

I was really hoping the calculators would go into more detail about my eco-friendliness. Instead, I'll write about what a horrible/saintly person I am here.

Flying: Like I said, I had no idea my holidays were quite so terrible for the environment. It's not like I'm flying on a private jet. But I don't make lots of short flights and I don't fly for business so think I'm pretty good compared to many people.

Driving: My annual mileage is pretty low: around 8,000 miles. My commute to work is only about 12 miles. Unfortunately it takes me about an hour to drive that 12 miles. I know everyone complains about their commute but I'm proud to say that I actually get to drive on officially the worst freeway interchange in the United States: the intersection of the 405 and the 101. I'm not exaggerating; it's the worst in the country! God, that transition sucks! What was I talking about? Oh, yeah; the point is I don't get great gas mileage because most of my driving is in that awful traffic. But I do have my new Honda Civic. It's not a hybrid but I get about 28 miles to the gallon (it's supposed to get 40 highway) and that's almost twice the mpg of my last car.

I feel pretty good about the improvement in gas mileage over my last car. Of course, I could do much better by carpooling or taking the bus but I just don't do it. I've tried carpooling and it's just such a pain in the ass. I tend to stay at work longer than many people want to because I use the gym there. I also like to be a little flexible in my hours; I don't want to worry about running a little late in the morning or leaving late one night to make up for leaving early another night. I know I'm just being selfish. Also, I tried carpooling with a girl from France who drove like a maniac. I assumed it was because she was European but it turned out she had just gotten her driver's license. And the day after we stopped carpooling her car went spinning out of control on Sunset Blvd. (don't worry, she was fine). I lost my taste for carpooling after that. And don't get me started about the bus; I'll just start sobbing uncontrollably.

Power: I don't think we are too bad here. In my last little studio apartment I didn't have air conditioning so I hardly used any electricity. Eric and I use a lot more electricity because we have central air and we have to use it much of the year. We both have trouble sleeping and need it quite cold. We do turn the temperature up during the day. And we almost never have to use the heating in the winter because, our apartment being on the top floor and getting lots of sun, gets really hot in the summer but stays pretty warm in the winter.

We finally went out and bought those funny curly light bulbs that use something like 80 percent less energy. You're welcome! Unfortunately, we can't use them in all our light fixtures because they only seem to come in one size and some of our lights use smaller bulbs. I'm sure they'll start making smaller ones soon.

Recycling: I don't recycle very much. I feel terrible about it! This apartment is the first place I've lived in Los Angeles that doesn't have recycling bins. I think we live in one of the few places in the city that doesn't have a program. I don't have the energy to drive all over town trying to recycle old magazines! When I first moved to Los Angeles I used to take my recycling to the grocery store and then I recycled at home when the city started supplying bins. But because most of the city has bins now you can no longer recycle at the grocery store. This is very annoying but I just keep telling myself the city will start a program soon. In my defense, I don't actually produce that much trash. I don't take the newspaper and I drink filtered tap water (so I don't have lots of bottles to throw away). And supposedly my trash at work is recycled.

[Update: a neighbor told me I can take my recycling to Whole Foods so I'll start doing that. Eric also says we should be able to get bins for our apartment soon]

Water: This isn't included in the carbon calculators but obviously it takes a lot of power to clean and transport water to our homes. I'm sure I waste a lot of water; I could take shorter showers, for instance. But at least I don't have a lawn and I share a swimming pool with a couple of dozen people so I don't feel too bad.

Work: I have no idea how much energy I consume at work; and I don't think the carbon calculators take this into account. I work for a nonprofit and I think the organization tries to be environmentally conscious but I have no idea how it translates to my personal responsibility. Apparently the organization recycles and tries to use some low-water landscaping. The library where I work is kept freezing, however. We are told this is to preserve the books. We try to explain that humans have to exist in the environment as well but they don't seem to listen. It also doesn't explain why it seems to be over-heated in the winter. I don't know how green the buildings are. I do know the air conditioning involves some sort of evaporative water system. It's pretty amazing; I saw it once. It's like this series of waterfalls in an underground cavern! It's so beautiful that it's a shame it has to be hidden under ground! Anyway, I don't know if that kind of system uses less energy.

Well, that's it. Am I forgetting anything? Let me know if you have better luck calculating your carbon footprint. All I determined is that I'm better than average. But I already knew that.

Now for a really controversial post!

Really controversial with Other Eric, that is!

I refuse to see License to Wed! I have my limits!

I lived through Monster in Law and I actually enjoyed Music and Lyrics but there are some romantic "comedies" I simply refuse to watch, even to satisfy a loved one. Yes, Mandy Moore is adorable and John Krasinski is super-cute but I don't think that can make up for Robin Williams and farting robot babies.

Sorry!

Who do I have to screw to get a normal bag of chips?

OK, I just wanted a bag of chips to go with my sandwich for lunch today. That doesn't sound like too much to ask, does it? Where I work we have a cafeteria and lots of vending machines with dozens of different kinds of chips. None of them are chip-flavored! I'm not that picky; I would have taken anything even remotely normal: cheddar cheese, salt and vinegar, even barbecue flavor! Or I would have taken normal Doritos, Cheetos, or Fritos!

But all they have is crazy flavors like Key-lime Pie Cheetos, or Extreeeeeme Blue Cheese Chicken Wing Doritos, or Extra Salty Jalapeno and Crab Baked Lay's! I swear to you: NOT ONE NORMAL BAG OF CHIPS! Why are they doing this to me? Do they make more money on weird flavors? I don't get it.

Will the madness never end?

OK, I admit it, I'm a thief!

I'm a horrible hypocrite and I should be locked up! I drive around in my little Honda Civic, looking all innocent, all the while hiding a terrible, dark secret! I've been stealing almost every day for several years! This is worse than that time I skipped a school board election just because I don't have children and had no idea who to vote for. So, what did I do that could be so bad, you ask?

I've been listening to NPR and I let my membership lapse. I know! I feel terrible about it! OK, here's what happened:

I used to contribute years ago and I actually gave quite a bit because I would take the expensive premiums, like tickets to concerts and things like that. But several years ago I was having major financial problems and I could barely pay my bills. I don't want to act like I was living in poverty or anything; I was just going through a brief period where I had no money.

My only entertainment was watching public television, using an antenna (OMG, no cable?!). So I maintained my very reasonable $40 annual contribution to my local PBS station. But I had to let my public radio subscription lapse. I wasn't actually listening to the radio very much, anyway. After a few years, though, while I still didn't have much money, I probably could have afforded to start contributing again.

But I didn't. Here's the problem: When I first looked into trying to make a minimum donation to KPCC, our station in Pasadena, it looked like the minimum amount they wanted was $89. The 89 corresponds to the number on the dial (89.3) and I know I could have given less but I felt like I wouldn't have been a real member. I was just shocked that they wanted over twice as much as my public television station; I think it's much more expensive to produce television. The second problem is that I actually listen to two stations (the other is KCRW, 89.9) and I couldn't decide which to give to and I didn't feel like I could afford both. And I just kept putting it off and then completely forgot about it. Every once in a while, as I was quickly turning off a pledge drive, I would say to myself, "Self, you really need to make a contribution. You can afford it now."

So I finally did it! I just contributed to both stations. By the way, KCRW only demands $25 from you for a basic membership, which is very reasonable.

One more thing: you know how they always say how important it is to contribute, no matter how small the amount? Well, I think that's bullshit. I think they probably lose money on small contributions because if you donate anything they end up bombarding you with mailings pleading for more money. And those mailings must be expensive! I'm reminded of a New Yorker cartoon from a few years ago by Matthew Diffee where a guy opens a letter and it reads, "Your generous donation will help pay for these solicitations."

That's my rant of the day: coming out of the closet as a longtime public radio thief and telling the tale of my courage and generosity in taking 30 second out of my day to go online and contribute the absolute smallest amount I could comfortably get away with. Does that make me a hero? Maybe; but I'm not doing this for the glory. Hearing Carl Kassell's voice every day is all the thanks I need. If you don't listen to public radio, you should; it's very good! And if you can't afford to donate any money, don't worry about it; I've got you covered. Don't let them make you feel guilty! I'd rather you were listening to public radio and not contributing than have you not listen at all!

But if you can afford it, send them some cash! It doesn't matter how small the amount. every little bit helps. Really.

Eric Three Thousand with free advice for celebrities:

HIRE A FUCKING DRIVER, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

This message has been brought to you by Eric Three Thousand. Thank you for your attention.

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And ... we're back!

My Shear Genius post is finally up on Bravissimo!

I ran into computer problems on Friday and wasn't able to access the Internet until Sunday night. Our ancient desktop (about two years old) seems to have died and Other Eric does not let me touch his laptop for obvious reasons.

Yeah, I break things. I think I give off an electronic pulse that causes electrical equipment to die. When I first met Eric I told him I'm like a nuclear blast but not as messy.

I build up a lot of static electricity. I get horribly shocked every time I touch something metal, especially when the weather is dry and windy. You know those people who cause a spark when filling up their gas tank and their car explodes? I wouldn't be at all surprised if that happened to me. I take precautions but I still know it's a real possibility.

Anyway, back to the computer problem. Eric decided he would get a Mac and then he would let me have his PC laptop, which is only a few months old. The only thing disappointing about Eric's new Mac is that it really doesn't look anything like the cute guy in the commercials. That seems like deceptive advertising if you ask me.

My first laptop! Fun! We'll see how long this lasts...

Smells like Eric Three Thousand!

I have been searching for years for a signature scent! So frustrating! Basically I just want to smell like grapefruit, of course, but that isn't really possible. It's much harder than it sounds. I think it's hard to make the scent of grapefruit linger or to make it in a form that can be applied to the skin. I have a body spray that smells good but the scent lasts about five minutes and I have scented oils but they are for candles and are not supposed to be applied to the skin.

I was wearing a grapefruit fragrance by Comtoir Sud Pacifique but they stopped making it. They replaced it with a pomelo scent, which smells like citrus but doesn't smell anything like grapefruit. Fun fact: apparently the grapefruit was developed in the 19th century; it's a cross between a pomelo and an orange. I liked the Comptoir Sud Pacifique because it didn't smell like perfume at all; just grapefruit. But the scent didn't last that long, either. Doesn't matter since I can't get it anymore!

I used to wear Laura Biagiatti's Roma (the woman's one) when I was in college. I loved it but I think it smelled a little perfumey. I was thinking about trying it again after all these decades but I couldn't find it at the mall. I probably stopped wearing it because it's a woman's fragrance. But much of that is just marketing and it might be fine. I did try Roma for men, which stank.

So a couple of weekends ago, after a few glasses of champagne at the Four Seasons, Eric and I were at the Beverly Center and I decided I was going to find a new signature scent, even if it killed me. I spent ages in Bloomingdale's smelling almost everything. I didn't really like anything but I decided to buy something anyway. I bought Marc Jacobs Orange.

I hated it! I was mad that I had wasted $70. I decided to try to take it back even though I had already opened it but I decided to go to a different mall because I was embarrassed. I'm such a wimp. Anyway, they took it back with no questions and the woman at this other Bloomingdale's had me try something I hadn't seen at the other store. This is my new signature scent.

Although this should remain a secret, I like you so I'll tell you what it is. It's Un Jardin sur le Nil by Hermès. It's not as grapefruity as I would like but it is fruity. Almost as fruity as I am! Yes, it's probably not any less of a woman's fragrance than Roma or the Marc Jacobs one but this is actually marketed as being unisex.

Nil is pretty new; I think it came out last year. I used to sell perfume when I was in college and I remember that I liked some of the Hermès fragrances because they were very fruity and not musky; I remember liking Amazone. Nil smells of grapefruit and green mango. It lasts a pretty long time but not as long as I'd like. Maybe I'll buy the body lotion to see if that makes it last longer.

Anyway, after buying it, I remembered that I had read a New Yorker article about the making of it. Kind of a coincidence, since the New Yorker doesn't publish that many articles about the making of a new fragrance. Here's a link to the article and a couple of little excerpts:

The Scent of the Nile
Jean-Claude Ellena creates a new perfume.
by Chandler Burr
New Yorker, March 14, 2005

Walking ashore, they began following a street that led to a Nubian village. It was during this stroll that Ellena saw, hanging low in the trees that lined the street, plump green mangoes.The fruit has a complex, authentically exotic smell: it is rich and fresh simultaneously, a rare combination. The scent is also ephemeral. The fruit exudes an odor only when it is on the tree. Once you pick it, the smell deteriorates; within sixty seconds, it is essentially gone. Ellena was beguiled by this elusive fragrance. Green mango, he suggested to his companions, could form the base of Nil.
Dubrule pressed her nose into the branches, finding a hint of apricot and grapefruit. At one point, Gautier frowned; she detected the smell of nail-polish remover. Indeed, green mango contains acetone, the solvent’s active ingredient.
“You will, above all, not put nail-polish remover in the perfume!” Dubrule later commanded Ellena.
“Above all!” Gautier concurred.
Ellena promised the women that he wouldn’t, knowing full well that he would. Acetone is often used in perfumery, he told me; it provides a lightning-like jolt. He would fold in some acetone, he explained, “but in such a manner that you won’t feel it.”

“This works perfectly for Hermès,” Gautier concluded. She did have one concern: would men be able to wear it? Both she and Ellena wanted Hermès to dispense with the archaic division between masculine and feminine scents—a mere marketing device designed to make heterosexual men comfortable with the idea of wearing fragrance. Though Gautier was, wisely, cautious of being too radical for the market, she nevertheless had decided that the Jardins collection would be unisex.

One final related shopping note. Eric wanted to look at a suit at the first Bloomingdale's and of course the section was right by the colognes. I just wanted to get away from there! He was trying on a suit that I thought looked a little too big on him. The salesman was really annoying, which also made me want to leave. He kept saying how it fit perfectly and any tighter would look bad. Then he used some other guy in the fitting room as an example of what not to wear! He kept pointing to the other guy and saying that the jacket he was trying on was way too tight and looked terrible! The other guy was obviously getting really annoyed; he was not being paid to be a model of what you don't want to look like! Seriously an awful salesman. I finally just made Eric hang the suit up and leave. Bloomingdale's: return policy good, salespeople not so much.

Random notes from the weekend!

Go over to Everything Eric to read the Other Eric's notes on our celebrity filled weekend! Nearly being run down by a very tall man in the mall who turned out to be John Tesh, sitting directly behind Sean Hayes at the Spider-Man matinee, and watching Larry Flint being hoisted into his Bentley were the highlights but there were others. I tend to act like I'm on the subway and don't look people in the face so I usually have to rely on Eric to inform me that, for instance, John Tesh just nearly ran into me. It was really appropriate to be watching Spider-Man with Sean Hayes since his character Jack McFarlane was always talking about Tobey Maguire spraying him with a white sticky web. Spider-Man, by the way, was not very good.

My Shear Genius recap is up over on Bravissimo!

And I'm posting everything at once so please scroll down to see my final Top Design floor plan post and my Project Runway recap!