Saturday, April 10, 2010

Project Runway Season Seven, Episode 12: Eviscerated!

Last week a ton of crap happened: Maya quit, Anthony came back, Valeria quit, Cerri came back, Emelio and Anthony won the challenge, Jonathan was sent home, and then Cerri was out again.

This week the designers are somehow transported back to the 1980s, when dressing like a circus freak was cool:

Tim Gunn: "What is this? Some kind of hot tub time machine?"

Yes. That's exactly what this is. And my viscera is just not feeling inspired by this episode at all:

Anthony: "Sing it, sister."

So the designers get a private performance from Cirque du So Lame, otherwise known as "the smallest show on earth," and then they go make clown clothes.

Back in the design room, Emilio is quickly losing his mind:

Emilio: "All hail Emilio, king of the designers!"

Tim: "Excuse me, your highness, but your dress needs more color."

Emilio: "Uh, did you not get the memo about worshiping me?"

So, Tim and Emilio get into this huge fight, with Emilio scratching at Tim with his fingernails and Tim swinging a broken beer bottle around. Finally, the other designers break up the fight and Emilio apologizes for being a jackass and Tim promises to stop coming in to work drunk and then he continues on his rounds of the design room:

Seth Aaron announces that he is making a top hat and the response is the sound of crickets.

Anthony is letting his viscera take over:

Anthony: "I have my good viscera on one shoulder and my bad viscera on the other shoulder and they keep telling me different things."

Jay tells us that a lot of people believe in him, even though he is obviously imaginary.

Mila is just quietly doing her work:

Jay: "God, I'm so sick of that evil bitch."

Yes, but what do you think of her designs?

Jay: "I hate her designs. And that's my completely objective, unbiased opinion based purely on the fact that I hate her as a person."

Tim gives his final words of advice:

Tim: "This is a big day for all of us. Especially for all of you. Actually, it isn't a big day for me at all. Forget I said anything. Oh, but please remember to use the Bluefly wall thoughtfully. Just this once."

Heidi introduces the judges:

Michael Kors:

Michael: "Hi, guys."

Nina Garcia:

Michael: "Release the Cracken!"

Nina: "Will you please stop saying that every time Heidi introduces me?! It's not funny anymore! I swear to god, I'd punch you in the balls if you had any!"

Jay - He made a really great pant and a top inspired by a band jacket. It was probably the most wearable outfit on the runway but the circus inspiration was clearly there

Mila - She made a big black and white jacket with a ridiculous collar and pink and yellow accents

Anthony - blech. This awful dress looks like it's made out of viscera

Emilio - He made a beautiful gown. The judges love it.

Seth Aaron - He made almost the same outfit Mila made, but his is even more ridiculous. It's straight out of Dr. Seuss. Having said that, I have to agree with the judges: for some reason, I like it more than Mila's

Anthony is booted without a second thought for his terrible blue condom of a dress:

Heidi: "$300 worth of viscera? Are you kidding me?"

Mila and Jay will be making collections but will have to fight to the death next week to see who will present at Bryant Park alongside Emilio and Seth Aaron.

Emilio has the favorite look and will have immunity in the final episode:

Emilio: "All hail Emilio!"


kittens not kids said...

maybe you had to be there to feel/see it, but I didn't think Anthony's dress was condom-like in any way. It wasn't a GOOD dress, but it wasn't a condom, either.

this challenge somehow made me queasy. my lifelong fear of clowns kicking in, maybe? or the fact that the line between circus-inspired and circus-costume is almost invisible?

I liked Jay's trousers. Emilio's dress makes me think of those fancy couture Barbies they sell for Barbie collectors.

uninspiring episode.

Sewing Siren said...

My 1st favorite thing about the 80's were the cool clown clothes.
Your version of the Emilio/Tim fight was much better than the boring disagreement that I watched on teevee.
I really want to know where Michael Kors buys his condoms and I'll tell Mr. Siren to go there too. Because that dress looked kinda fun if you know what I mean.

Cliff O'Neill said...

You said it on the not-inspired to do anything inspiring episode!

And I really thought I MUST have heard Jay incorrectly, but I guess he really DID say that he was hoping Mila didn't make it because he doesn't like her as a person.


Oh, and my viscera is feeling much better now that Anthony's gone (again). That is all.



MoHub said...

Has anyone seen the cover of the current InStyle magazine? It's very much what Anthony's dress might have been.

Anonymous said...

Eric, I was soooo looking forward to your take on "which other two designers should go to Bryant Park with you?" I want to know why Jay teared up when he said, "I want to share this experience with Anthony."

lovemesomeuli said...

I think Seth Aaron should have gone full Dr. Seuss and made the top hat, like the cat in the hat, you know? If you're going to go over the top, go all the way. Oh, and I hope he slaughters King Emilio at Bryant Park.

Loved your version of the Tim/Emilio fight! There must be more that has gone on that we don't see because it is very clear that Tim despises Emilio and would cut a bitch if given the opportunity. Oh, I would love to see Tim lose it!

eric3000 said...

Thanks for your comments, everyone!

You know, at first, I assumed the condom comment referred purely to the fact that the dress was petroleum-based. But the more I look at it, the more I think it does resemble a condom. One that is ribbed for pleasure, with a little tickling thing at the end. LOL!

Yeah, Cliff, I thought I heard Jay wrong, too. I just can't get my head around his intense hatred of Mila. It's a little frightening.

MoHub, I think you are talking about the Gwen Stefani cover? I agree that would be a better version of the dress. Still not circus-inspired, but definitely a better dress.

Anonymous, yeah, sorry I ignored the whole "what other two designers do you like the most" question. I hate that question because it is totally irrelevant. It has no effect on the judging and does nothing but hurt people's feelings. So I couldn't think of anything funny to write about it.

But there were two interesting answers to that question. Jay basically saying Anthony didn't deserve to go to Bryant Park but he should go just because he wanted to "share the experience with him" was pretty humorous. But the thing I liked the most, though, was that Emilio picked Mila to go. I found that really touching because I don't think he's a big Mila fan. If he hadn't done that, Mila would have been the only one not picked and I would have felt really bad for her. So I have to give credit to Emilio for that.

Anonymous said...

"Michael: "Release the Cracken!"

Nina: "Will you please stop saying that every time Heidi introduces me?!"

LOL. Comic genius.

Bittybis said...

After Tim left the room, did he holler "Emelio!" from the bottom of the stairs?

Thanks for the belly laugh about release the kraken.