Friday, April 16, 2010

Project Runway Season Seven, Episode Thirty-Six, The Finale, Part One: I think I need to reconceptualize this entire title!

Last time, Anthony used his viscera all wrong and Emilio thought he won another challenge, although there was no official winner. Mila and Jay are forced to get married and seek couples counseling.

This week, Heidi tells the designers they will have $9,000 and four months to make a ten-piece collection:

Heidi: "Now I'd like to introduce someone to whom all of you except Emilio have become very close."

Tim: "Hello, my dear friends. And Emilio. I'm going to be visiting you in about two months to tell you you're doing everything wrong."

First, Tim visits Seth Aaron in Vancouver:

Tim: "Ah, it's so nice to be in Canada! Wow, Vancouver is so much smaller than I imagined."

Seth Aaron: "This isn't Canada. This is the state of Washington."

Tim: "Well, let me tell you about the terrible state Washington is in. Republicans and Democrats are practically deadlocked. It's a mess. You're lucky to be here in Canada."

Seth Aaron: "This is Vancouver, Washington."

Tim: "What are you talking aboot? Don't be a hoser, eh? Let's go get some donuts at Tim Hortons."

Seth Aaron: "Stop that! This isn't Canada!"

Tim finally gets a look at the clothes:

Seth Aaron: "I've made fifty versions of the exact same outfit."

Tim: "Amazing! I've never seen anything like it. Now throw all of it out."

Tim is forced to endure a game of Pictionary, which apparently they still play in Canada:

Seth Aaron: "For the last time, this is not Canada!"

OK! Geez, Canadians can be so touchy! Anyway, they play Pictionary and, fortunately, nobody has to draw a windmill ("Community" joke). However, Seth Aaron's daughter tries to draw a stethoscope and Tim guesses:

Tim: "Fallopian tubes?"

Oh, Tim. Kids today don't need to worry their pretty little heads about things like fallopian tubes. All they need to know is to wear their promise rings until they get married to someone of the opposite sex and then they can go pick up their babies at the hospital. Just like it says in the Bible.

Next, Tim visits Emilio (Kaiser) Sosa in the Bronx. His collection is looking awful, to be perfectly frank. He designed another print with his name on it, which is actually really pretty, but seriously, who the hell would want to wear that?

Tim: "I just have one suggestion. Start over."

Then Tim goes to the dreaded Los Angeles to visit Mila in a lovely little Ikea showroom. Obviously, she is doing an all black and white collection. The only bits of color are in an aubergine fabric that is so dark and grey it's barely a color, and her cute Dalmatian, which is bright pink with orange spots.

Tim: "I love it! Change everything!"

Finally, Tim goes to San Francisco to visit Jay, who has decided that he has already beat Mila and is only competing against Seth Aaron and Emilio:

Tim: "Q'est que what?"

Jay makes a ball comment that I couldn't quite make out. He either said that he has bigger balls than Mila, which seems unlikely, or that the ball is in his court, which doesn't make sense, either, since he's just said he isn't even bothering to play ball with her. His collection gives new meaning to the term "overworked."

Tim: "Terrific! Now, just reconceptualize the entire collection."

Tim has dinner with Jay's family and he is served a special treat: Rice-a-Roni. Ooh, I love Rice-a-Roni!

Finally, it's fashion week and it's time for the big showdown between Mila and Jay:

Jay: "Hi."

Mila: "Hi."

Jay: "This is weird."

Mila: "It's nice."

Jay: "Yeah. I like it when you aren't a total bitch."

Mila: "Thank you, Jay. That means a lot to me."

Jay: "I'm just going to rise above all the unnecessary drama I created in my head."

Good idea. They are joined by Seth Aaron and Emilio. Then Tim drops by for a visit:

Tim: "Jay, Mila, and Seth Aaron, it is so good to see you. Hi Emilio."

Tim gives his final words of advice before the designers go to sleep:

Tim: "Please use the Westin Heavenly Beds thoughtfully."

The next day, Jay and Mila find out they only have three hours to dress and style three models, two of whom may not fit any of their clothes. Oh, and one of the randomly assigned models is Holly Kiser, the winner of the first season of Make Me a Supermodel. I'm starting to suspect they didn't actually make her a supermodel.

On to the runway. Heidi looks really strange. What's different about her?

Heidi: "I'm not pregnant. Oops. Spoke too soon."

The runway show was not very exciting. I can't believe those were their three best pieces. Maybe they just chose whatever fit the models. Anyway, Mila's looks were cute. Her cocktail dress was pretty, although Holly looked like she was choking to death. Jay, as usual, showed some nice pants. His looks were definitely not retro. They were also not nearly as original and innovative as he seemed to think they were.

The judges have a tough decision to make:

Michael: "I'm on Team Jay!"

Heidi: "I'm on Team Mila!"

Nina: "I'm going to let you two fight it out and then agree with the winner. That way it looks like I'm always right."

Mila wins the third spot in the final.

Nina: "I told you so."


kittens not kids said...

yeah, Tim's disdain for Emilio was just oozing all over the place, wasn't it?

I could really go for some Tim Horton's doughnuts, though - wish you hadn't reminded me of them, you hoser. (I grew up just across the border from Ontario; my hometown has many tim horton's stores).

Mila's "collection" reminded me of photos of my grandmother when my mom was younger. Very early-middle-aged 1950s/60s woman. I don't know who wants to look like that now.

I liked Jay's a lot better.

what a bunch of hosers the people on this show are. I hope Tim Gunn wins Fashion Week, and shares it with Anthony. And maybe Seth Aaron. or maybe Swatch, the Mood shop dog can win.

Emilio is just too insufferable for it, and his clothes were ugly.

Cliff O'Neill said...

Really? Who wouldn't want to thmack an Emilio Thotha right in the kitha?

Actually, I had to wait until the husband came back from out of town to read yours, since I always do the dramatic reading. He ALWAYS laughs at yours, which is more than he does for much of anything else.

Also, I'm developing quite the Tim Gunn impression.


BTW, how funny is it that we both thought the same thing about Not-A-Supermodel Holly?

eric3000 said...

Kittens, isn't it sad that Tim Hortons is the only thing I know about Canada? LOL! And I expect to like Jay's full collection more than Mila's. But I've only seen the three pieces so far and I had some problems with Jay's three pieces.

Cliff, yeah, nothing advertises the fact that you are not a supermodel like being a secondary model for a fake runway show. Ha ha! Holly really should have said no to this assignment.

TLo said...

Heidi: "Now I'd like to introduce someone to whom all of you except Emilio have become very close."

Tim: "Hello, my dear friends. And Emilio.


lovemesomeuli said...

"I'm just going to rise above all the unnecessary drama I created in my head."

LOVE. Just posted as my facebook status.

lovemesomeuli said...

Oh, and Tim on a trampoline. Now THAT's entertainment!

kittens not kids said...

Tim Horton's is the ONLY thing you need to know about Canada. it's just that good - it can stand alone as representative of an entire nation!

courtesy TLo, I discovered Tim's vlog, and it's FABULOUS. Gossip, bitchery, dish, all in the cultured tones and excellent vocabulary of Professor Gunn. absolutely worth watching if you haven't yet. it's via Tim's facebook page, I think, a phrase that generates so much cognitive dissonance in my brain that my head might explode.

lovemesomeuli said...

kittens not kids, thanks for letting me in on the vlog! Loved it!

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

I am still chuckling but I forgot about what it was you said...oh yes, it was every line of your recap. Tim and fallopian tubes was funny.

I have a question. When they say in unison "Thank you Mood" how come Mood doesn't answer back and why don't they thank the Blue Fly wall?

Thanks Eric that was great.

Monica said...

i can't wait for your commentary on the finale finale.