Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Project Runway, Season Four, Season Finale Extravaganza, Part One!

Previously on Project Runway: 15 designers crash-land on a tropical island and are killed off one by one. Simone is killed instantly in the crash; Marion is sucked into the jet engine on the beach; Elisa meets this crazy French woman who thinks she is infected; Chris is dragged away by The Others but then he comes back; Jack escapes on a raft (for medical reasons) but he is caught by some guy with a fake beard; Victorya is paralyzed by a spider and nobody can tell the difference but they bury her alive anyway; Kit Pistol and Sweet P get cute nicknames from Sawyer; Kevin is impregnated and dies in childbirth; Carmen actually gets off the island and is one of the "Parsons Six" but she is so upset about nobody missing her that she goes back; Ricky is a little emotional about all the deaths; Rami finds the foot of a colossal statue with only three toes (what's that about?) and it inspires him to make a draped dress, which really pisses off the smoke monster because it's so sick the all the draping already; Christian goes with Ben to a cabin in the woods and thinks it is totally fierce so Ben shoots him (don't worry he's not dead; the island cures him); Jillian is a fugitive from the law but Project Runway has given her a second chance.

So, in summary, Chris, Rami, Christian, and Jillian are left:

Heidi: "Are you excited?"


Heidi: "Well, don't get too excited"

oh. ok.

Heidi: "Chris and Rami. Only one of you will go on to Fashion Week."

The four finalists have $8,000 and five months to create collections.

Other Eric: "Heidi, why are you carrying a black velvet bag?"

Heidi: "Pay no attention to the black velvet bag. Let's go up to the roof for one final toast."

Wow, you make this toast sound so final. Actually, this is the first toast I remember this season.

Tim visits the designers in his Saturn. He travels all the way to Manhattan to visit Christian, who is living in a closet and sleeping in a dresser drawer. (He's so small!)

Christian: "Romantic Gothic is my thing."

Tim: "That's your thing, huh?"

Christian: "Yep, that's my thing."

Tim: "These feathered pants . . . hmmm. I love them and yet I really, really hate them at the same time. I want you to get rid of them but I still want them to be in your collection."

Christian: "OK, I'll see what I can do."

Tim: "Work hard but drink harder."

Christian: "I'm on it!"

Tim then travels all the way to Manhattan to visit Jillian:

Jillian: "I really worked my ass off."

Tim: "Oh, you still have a little left."

Jillian tells us about how her mother always knew she would be famous and has apparently been pushing Jillian her whole life because some psychic told her to:

Jillian: "someone please save me. my mother is crazy."

Next, Tim drives his Saturn onto his private jet and flies to Los Angeles.

John Stewart: "Can I have your attention, please? Someone parked their Boeing 747 on La Brea and they're being towed. Oh, for those of you who don't live in Los Angeles let me explain that La Brea is this major street that has a lot of parking restrictions. Well, except on Sunday, when the Academy Awards took place. So you just have to pretend that it's rush hour on a week day or the joke doesn't work. Well, actually, you probably can't park a jet on La Brea even on Sundays. Honestly, I have no idea. I mean, it is Hollywood, right? Everyone's insane! You can do anything here. Except smoke. You have to go to Vegas to do that. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, my big joke about Tim Gunn parking his Boeing 747 on La Brea. Wait, that's not the best part. Ready for the punchline? OK, here it is: Don't worry . . . it's a hybrid!"

[sound of crickets]

John Stewart: "Really? Not even a courtesy laugh? Tough crowd."

Tim: "Oh, for heaven's sake. I don't have my own jet. I get to Los Angeles just like everyone else. By private yacht through the Panama Canal."

Anyway, Tim visits Rami in Los Angeles.

Rami's mother was Miss Jordan but she died when he was five. I have nothing funny to say about that.

Then, when he was a little older, his brother walked in on him and caught him doing something embarrassing!

Rami: "Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. I was just sewing up a little outfit."

That's much worse.

Rami takes Tim to his studio in Silver Lake:

Tim: "Rami, I'd just like to thank you for not taking me to the goddamn beach."

Rami's collection is inspired by Joan of Arc (hmm, that sounds familiar), based on armor and puffy sleeves:

Other Eric: "It looks like if Jillian and Christian had a baby."

Christian: "Ew."

Tim then goes all the way back to New York to visit Chris:

Tim: "That makes it sound so inconvenient. I had to come back to New York, anyway. Sheesh."

Chris is using really weird material for his collection:

Chris: "I like to take human skin and sew it up into clothing so I can wear it."

Tim: "I think I'm gonna barf."

Chris takes Tim over to his friend Larry's installation/apartment:

Tim: "You know how monkey's like to throw poo all over the place? For some reason that's what I think of when I see this apartment."

Chris and Rami have a design-off. Jillian helps Rami and Christian helps Chris.

Rami's mini-collection: A nice two-tone dress, a dramatic black evening gown, and a puffy blue jacket. I actually liked all three looks. The judges didn't like the jacket but I thought it was OK.

Chris's mini-collection: A cool black suit with a jacket made from human hair and a skirt made of safety pins, a black velvet evening gown with a woven panel down the middle, and hairy skirt with a cream blouse. The suit is really nice, the dress is totally boring even though I'm sure the woven part is cool, and the skirt and blouse combo is completely forgettable (I had to have other Eric remind what the third look was).

The judges spend a few minutes throwing poo and then they announce their decision: Rami is in!

Chris is eaten by a polar bear:

Nina: "That's so weird. How did a polar bear get into Parsons?"

Tim: "It had an impressive portfolio."


Eric said...

I'm not sure it was a skirt and blouse. It looked like a 20s dress with human hair fringe. Might've been two pieces though. Who know.

cb said...

well now, i disagree. i really liked Chris's outfits. but then, I'm really a Goth girl at heart (you'd never know by looking at me, though). I thought the middle dress chris did was GAWGEOUSS.

Rami's stuff was refreshingly....slightly different from what he always does. we all knew Chris would never get to the final three, though of course, he DID show at Fashion Week because Bravo evidently cannot read a calendar.

what will i do without Eric3000 and Project Runway? what will be the point of the INTERNETS without these two institutions? (and Project Rungay, of course).


Vic said...

OK, I will say it. Chris's human hair fringes reminded me too much of shrunken head voodoo dolls. Regarding Rami, who wants to wear fashion inspired by a woman burnt at the stake? I liked neither collection, though appreciated the enormous amount of talent of the designers and craftsmanship that went behind these clothes. My prediction is that the designer who listened most closely to Tim Gunn will win. I never thought I'd say this, because I think our little miss is a Prima Donna, but I hope Christian wins.

Anonymous said...

I thought the safety pin/hair outfit was pretty cool - even though it was creepy. Rami deserved to be in the final three though, so everything worked out just the way it was supposed to. I still don't understand why Bravo couldn't figure out the timing and made 5 people create complete collections WTF and what a waste of two people's time and energy...

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

Oh Eric that was a delicious recap. I loved the polar bear with the portfolio.

I thought lint brushes were made for hair on garments. That still creeps me out. I believe the victorians were into hair. When someone died they made a little bow out of the deceased's hair and made a pin out of it. I remember it from Antiques Roadshow
where the little pin creeped me out.

Anonymous said...

In the context of the faceoff and by their own admission, the judges clearly favored Chris. But from day one the fix was in. The producers had every intention of sending Rami, Christiand Jillian from day one. Never mind, I'm excited anyway. Oh, and I thought polar bears were extinct? Maybe they surviving bears are making a run for Parsons? ;o)

Anonymous said...

Tim: "It had an impressive portfolio."
This is 'OH MY GOD' FUNNY!!!!!

TLo said...

Tim: "These feathered pants . . . hmmm. I love them and yet I really, really hate them at the same time. I want you to get rid of them but I still want them to be in your collection."

Christian: "OK, I'll see what I can do."

LOL. We need to watch an episode together, Eric. That would be fun.